Chapter Five
There was an added intensity to what we had done tonight, and I knew the reason why.
This was likely the last time we would see each other before he left for the summer with all the other kids.
I used to pray for that time to come, but for once, there was something that even the beauty and solitude of nature couldn’t surpass.
I never had anyone I wanted to see here, and now I would know what it was like to miss someone.
“I love you so goddamn much, Anamchara,” he said to me as he pulled me onto his chest.
“My heart...My soul...Every part of me is all yours, Cillian.”
“We’re soulmates,” he told me, and I smiled against his chest. Whether he said it while climaxing like he had a few minutes ago, or even in our everyday text messages, the endearment warmed me from within.
Cillian had saved me from the crass and imbecilic guys who attended this school at the beginning of this school year, and he kept rescuing me from them even now.
Thankfully, they would all be gone too, so I could focus on my family.
According to the last physician Rowan had seen, she was likely going to need another bone marrow transplant, and with me being her previous donor, I could already foresee a trip to the city in my summer plans.
It was the only reason I was glad Cillian would be back in Ireland.
The last thing I wanted or needed was for him to find out about my family.
He had no idea that my sister was my twin, or that I had selfishly stolen all the healthy cells back in the womb.
The doctors had told me over the years that it didn’t happen that way, but nothing they said could ever convince me otherwise.
The last thing I wanted Cillian to do was find out who I really was deep down.
“Why the tears?” he asked me, and I hadn’t even realized I had started to cry until I looked down and saw a few drops on one of his nipples. “It’s only for the summer, and we do still have another week and a half here before I have to go.”
“I’m just going to miss you so much,” I said in a partial lie. While it was a given that I would miss him not being here, the tears had been more for my sister.
“I’m going to miss you more. How am I going to get through a single week knowing that at the end of it, you won’t be here waiting for me at the pier?
To know that I won’t be able to walk up and see you standing there in nothing but my T-shirt.
To know that I won’t be able to remove it, then settle between your thighs as I bring you to an orgasm with my mouth, then my dick. ”
“Cillian,” I warned as a familiar ache returned.
“I have to have you again,” he murmured to me as he ran one hand down my arm.
“Now?” I asked.
“Now,” he said as he slid out from underneath me. I half expected him to fuck me the same way he had before, but he turned me onto my stomach instead, then raised my lower body. The moment he got me on my knees, he lined his still hard cock up, then slammed into me.
“Cillian, fuck...I—”
“I can’t be gentle right now. I need you too fucking much. Just hold on, and I’ll try to make this as good for you as possible.”
“You always do, Cillian. Fuck me the way you need to, and I will...” my words cut off as he did as I asked, and all ability to formulate a coherent thought disappeared, much less the ability to do anything more than clutch the blanket in my hands as he drove into me.
Cillian’s groans were music to my ears, and something I wanted to remember about him once he was gone.
As is, the only relief I got when we were apart was during my showers when I would remember every word he would say as he fucked me, and use it to help me get myself off.
While a poor substitute for the real thing, it was still effective.
“I’m about to come, Anamchara. I want you to come with me,” he said between groans. As if he wanted to make sure that I did, he reached around me and began to strum my clit with his fingers. “That’s it,” he urged as my orgasm snuck up on me, and I began to come for him.
Cillian’s quickly followed and several minutes later, he had me back in his arms again.
This was normally the time when I would make a hasty retreat back to my cottage, then entered in the walk of shame I would feel as soon as I hit those steps.
My mother worked so many hours at the school, then so many more with my twin.
Meanwhile, I was out here being selfish once more.
“I need to go,” I said, and started to get up, but he pulled me back down.
“I know, but give me a few more minutes,” he responded.
“It’s already so late, and—”
“I’m just asking for a few more minutes. This is the last time we’ll be like this for months. Sleep...Your mother...Everything can wait a little while longer.”
“I suppose you’re right,” I said to him.
Odds were that both my mother and Rowan were sleeping, so there was no need to rush the only true happiness in my life, especially knowing I would be in a pit of despair once summer actually came.
“I’m always right,” he teased, which elicited a giggle from me.
“I’m so going to miss you.”
“And I’ll miss you. Ireland will not feel the same this summer at all. It can’t.”
I went to raise my head to ask why, but he pushed it back down and held it against his chest. While his heart rate was steady, there was a slight erratic cadence to it, which I knew echoed my own racing heart. Snuggling closer to him, I let out a sigh.
“Why will this summer be any different?” I knew how much he loved Ireland just from our conversations about it.
“Because you’ll be here, which is way too far away.”
I smiled against his chest, then pressed my lips to him. “It’s just for the summer.”
“And the only one we’ll ever have to spend apart.”
“What do you mean?” I asked him.
“Next school year, we’ll both be adults and can do whatever we want with whoever we want.”
“Whenever we want,” I added, and he kissed me this time.
“Exactly. Let’s just lie here and enjoy this little time we have left.”
I had agreed, but a few hours later, I was now staring at my mother’s angry and hurt face, wishing I hadn’t let him convince me to stay there for so long.
While I was sure he thought it would be for just a few minutes, we ended up falling asleep, and my mother had caught us lying naked in each other’s arms on the pier.
“I can’t believe you would jeopardize everything we have here, Reagan.”
“We weren’t hurting any—”
“You were not hurting yourself, but that doesn’t extend to me and your sister. I need this job in order to keep a roof over our heads and the insurance to keep up Rowan’s medical care. I might very well lose everything now because you couldn’t control your hormones.”
When she put it that way, the magnitude of what I had done hit me.
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought about the three of us being kicked out of this school and off these grounds.
The only reason her job here worked was because it provided what other places wouldn’t be able to if she were to take a different job.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Luckily, Mr. Brannington isn’t going to have the board tender my resignation. Of course, that was on the promise that you would stay away from his grandsons from this point forward, especially Cillian Brannington.”
“I’ll keep that promise,” I assured her, and I intended to do so.
There was too much at stake for me not to.
Her anger seemed to subside, but the deep seated disappointment she had in me was still evident on her face.
It gutted me. Not ever seeing Cillian again also did.
Maybe he was right about next year. We would be adults, and if neither of us were here at this school, there would be nothing for my mother to worry about.
But Cillian would be here at school next year as he would return for his senior season.
Unless...No, I refused to accept that his overbearing grandfather would yank him from this school.
From what he had told me, every Brannington male attended school here and had graduated from Summit Crest Preparatory, too.
He wouldn’t change a family tradition for me.
I’ll need to keep my word and let him go.
My heart shattered into pieces at the very thought. I would think of something, as would Cillian. After all, we had been sneaking around for a while. Had we not fallen asleep then none of this would’ve happened. We would have to be more careful in the future. And we would be.
“Is there anything else before I go to bed?” I asked my mother.
“Yes. Be sure to shower that boy’s touch off you before climbing into bed.”