Chapter 19
CHAPTER 19
AURORA
I t’s okay to want something that’s going to hurt.
All my life, I’ve only ever focused on making the right choices. For myself, for Lucia. Everything I’ve ever done was to protect us both. But I can’t help thinking that I lost myself in the process. I lost the ability to care deeply, to feel strongly. I might have accused Nico of being unfeeling, but the truth is, I’m the one that has a hard time connecting with my own emotions.
And maybe it’s time for that to change. Nico holds on to me like he can’t bear to let me go. He kisses me like I’m the air he needs to breathe, and I come to the realization that maybe, just maybe, I did make a mistake ten years ago. Maybe I was wrong to leave. Especially when it feels like this between us.
I kiss Nico back as passionately as he kisses me, matching his intensity. My heart races in my chest. I gasp softly when he slips both hands beneath my thighs, lifting me up. I wrap my legs around his waist while still kissing him desperately.
Nico settles down on the couch, taking me with him. I’m straddling him, my hands going through his soft, dark hair. I can feel his cock beneath me, digging into my ass. I break the kiss for a second to look at him, staring into those blue eyes that somehow always manage to feel like home, even when I don’t want them to.
“The last time we did this, everything changed,” I whisper, my finger brushing over his cheek.
He takes my hand and presses a kiss to my wrist.
“I can’t promise you nothing’s going to change, Aurora. I can only promise to do my best to make sure we’re okay. But you need to trust me.”
Do I trust him?
If I had been asked that question ten years ago, I would have said yes without a second thought. And in so many ways, he hasn’t changed a bit. I’m the one that’s gone through many changes. I’ve hidden myself and I’ve lied to myself so much that I can’t even begin to untie the knots.
But Nico’s a constant. A constant overbearing presence, but I know in my heart that he’d never let me fall.
I nod, “I trust you.”
He smiles, and it’s so genuinely beautiful that I feel an ache in my chest.
“That’s all I needed to hear, mi vida .”
He starts to kiss me again, and everything else falls away. My mouth parts when he slips a hand under my chest, kneading the skin there as his fingers start to trail upward. I’m not wearing anything underneath my shirt, and he’s able to reach my breasts, cupping one of them and rubbing his thumb over my nipple every few seconds.
His lips move down to a sensitive spot on my neck. I grip his arm as he begins biting and sucking and generally driving me insane. The intensity of that and the way he’s rubbing my nipple sets me on fire. I don’t make any protests when he takes my shirt off. But when he moves his hand down to my shorts, I place my hand on his to stop him.
“Not so fast, buddy. Your turn,” I state, gesturing at his shirt.
He chuckles before settling back onto the couch. “If you want it off, sweetheart, you’re going to have to do it yourself.”
I don’t hesitate to do just that. Once his shirt is off, I simply stare at him for a couple of seconds. My eyes trail over his chest, resting on the pendant lying around his neck. He doesn’t stop me as I reach for it. He doesn’t do much of anything really, except to watch me, eyes dark and hooded with desire.
“You wanted me to have this after that night,” I murmur softly, remembering how he took it off for the first time and held it out for me.
“I hoped it would provide you some measure of comfort,” Nico says. “But you rejected it.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. You had no idea I was going to leave when you offered it to me. And I couldn’t take away something so special to you.”
“I would have been okay as long as you had it with you, mi vida .”
The truth is, I recognized the significance of him giving me the locket and I knew deep down that I didn’t deserve it because I couldn’t be what he needed at the time. I’m still not sure I am.
“It’s yours, Nico,” I say softly.
He reaches for the side of my face, fisting my hair in his hand.
“So are you.”
I kiss him then, so I don’t say something dumb like I’m not really his. At least not yet, not until the end of the next four months. I’m still unsure of whether I’ll make the decision to stay. There’s so much weighing on me, but in this moment, all I want is for him to be inside of me. I want to fuck him until he’s all I can feel.
He releases a shuddery breath as I trace the outline of his length through his pants. He groans when I undo the button of his pants, sliding them his down his legs, and taking off his boxers as well. His cock springs forward, and my eyes widen at how big he is, thick, with veins bulging on the sides.
I shoot him a look. “Is it just me or are you bigger than you were ten years ago?”
Nico surprises me when he laughs. It’s such a wild, free sound, and I find myself wanting to bottle it up and keep it with me at all times.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart, it’ll fit. Every fucking inch was made for you,” he promises me, his hand still gripping my hair.
I swallow any nerves rolling through me, and he assists me in sliding his pants and boxers off. I’m still wearing mine, but not for long. I stand up in front of him, and Nico watches as I slowly slide my shorts down and then my panties, trying to make the action as sultry and seductive as possible. His hand twitches like he wants to reach out for me, but for some reason, he stays still in his place on the couch, leaving me in control of the situation.
Which I really like.
“You have no idea how beautiful you look right now, Aurora,” he tells me,
I climb back into his lap and begin rocking my hips against him, while rubbing his cock in my hand. Nico’s hand goes down to my clit, and he performs a similar ministration, flicking my nub before thrusting his finger inside of me. I moan loudly.
“Nico, please, I want you,” I say, uncaring how desperate I sound.
“I’m all yours, mi vida ,” he states, leaning back. “Take whatever you need.”
I kiss him once quickly on the lips before lifting myself up and positioning his cock right at my entrance. I slowly lower down inch by inch, keeping my eyes locked on his. When I finally take all of him inside of me, I buck my hips, and Nico curses under his breath.
I moan, feeling incredibly full.
He moves one hand to my hip and begins guiding my movements back and forth in time with his thrusts. He moves his other hand down to rub my clit. At the end of every thrust, I let out an incoherent moan. I should probably be embarrassed by all the sounds I’m making, but I find that I don’t care very much.
All that matters is the feeling of his cock pounding inside of me. Add that in with the way he’s rubbing my clit, and I feel like I might just go crazy. I dig my hands into his shoulder, holding him as I ride him as fast as I can.
Nico grabs onto my ass, slowing me down to kiss my neck softly. He moves his mouth down to one of my nipples, sucking and biting before alternating to the other one. I throw my head back, bouncing against him and feeling the fire inside of me burn hotter with each thrust.
“Nico, I…I’m going to come,” I whisper.
“Go on. I want to feel you come around my cock like a good girl,” he says softly.
His fingers continue to rub against my clit, and I let out a scream as I shatter, my orgasm hitting me in waves. Nico moves his hands to my back, holding me close and helping me ride it out. I fall down against this chest, completely spent.
He continues to thrust inside of me, and I just cling to him, enjoying the occasional torrents of pleasure that flow through me. After a few more thrusts, he finally finds his release, tensing up and grunting into the crook of my neck. He lays his head on my shoulder, and we continue to move together, rocking slowly until we gradually come to a stop. We sit like that for several more moments, breathing heavily as we try to calm our racing hearts.
“Fuck,” Nico whispers into my hair.
I simply smile against his neck, too sated to muster a word. That was intense. Sex with Nico is so much different than anything I have ever experienced. More open than anything I’ve ever experienced with anyone else.
“Tell me about the past ten years,” Nico says after a few minutes have passed.
I smirk, reaching up to run my hand through his hair. It’s just so soft and luscious and nice.
“I thought you knew everything, big guy.”
“Unfortunately not,” he says disappointedly. “I’ll admit I did check in on you and Lucia from time to time, but it wasn’t as often as I’d like. I want to know all about what you went through after you left. Come on, sweetheart.”
I pout, looking up at him. “I was hoping for another round.”
Nico smiles, running his hands through my hair.
“I’ll fuck you as hard as you want if you’re a good girl and tell me everything I want to know.”
My pussy throbs at that, and I feel my nipples harden. I should not like those words as much as I do. But he seems genuinely curious, his blue eyes insistent.
“Fine. But we should probably get up and prepare something to eat. It’ll take a while before we get through ten years,” I point out. “Plus, you’ll need your energy if you want to deliver on that promise.”
I grab his T-shirt pulling it on before shooting him a wink and standing up. He joins me a couple of seconds after, wrapping an arm around my waist and leading me toward the kitchen. He’s wearing only his boxers, leaving his chest on full display. It is a very nice view.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, sweetheart, but did I just hear you say you were going to cook?”
“Yep.”
“Hmm. That’s odd. Because I seem to remember an incident a very long time ago, right in this very kitchen, during which you almost burned this house to the ground.”
I roll my eyes. “Like you said, a long time ago,” I state, opening the cupboards, glad to see they are fully stocked with all the ingredients I need to make us dinner.
Nico must have had someone do that before we arrived yesterday.
“I’ve learned a lot since then, Nico. I kind of had to, considering I was on my own with a fifteen-year-old to raise.”
His expression tightens at that.
“Before you start feeling guilty, just remember that it was my choice. I chose to leave with Lucia, and honestly, given the chance, I’d probably do it all over again,” I say despite the hurt that flashes across his eyes. “Despite what you may think, it wasn’t that hard. Valerio was actually pretty helpful. He gave us enough money to settle anywhere we wanted.”
“And you chose Evanston,” Nico continues. “Yeah, I know. You attended Northwestern and got a degree in architecture there. Not your first choice,” he says pointedly, referring to my art, but I really can’t talk about that right now.
“No, but it was the practical choice,” I say, grabbing some beef from the fridge. “I lived off campus with Lucia in an apartment not too far from my school, and she went to a high school in the neighborhood. It was actually nice, being there with her. The both of us grew closer. I took care of her, and she took care of me. She was the only person I had until I met Sabrina.”
“Ah, the redhead,” Nico says, leaning against the island as he watches me get to work. “She’s feisty.”
“You have no idea,” I laugh. “Sabrina has so much life in her, and she has this energy around her that you just can’t help but be drawn too. In my freshman year, I was trying to keep my head down and not draw any attention to myself, but all that went out the window as soon as Sabrina and I became friends. She dragged me to so many parties. She’s actually the reason I have a few fun memories from college. Sabrina brought me out of my shell.”
Nico smiles. “I’m glad she did. And I’m glad you found her.”
“Yeah, I am too. She has no idea how grateful I am for her presence in my life,” I say under my breath, my heart clenching as I think about my best friend.
“She’ll come around, mi vida ,” Nico says, reading my expression accurately.
“What if she doesn’t, though?” I murmur.
“If she’s anything like me, she’ll have a hard time staying away from you.”
I shoot him a disbelieving look. “That’s not really reassuring, considering you stayed away for ten years.”
It wasn’t his fault nor his choice, so blaming him might be a little hypocritical, but I can’t count the number of times I would look over my shoulder, wondering if it would be the day he’d finally show up again. I’d always known deep down that Nico didn’t let me go so easily. I just didn’t think he’d have the patience to wait ten years. It was a long time. So long, that I started to believe he wasn’t coming again. I accepted it and even thought it was for the best.
“Those were the worst ten years of my life,” he says reassuringly, stepping toward me.
He moves behind me and presses a kiss on my neck that makes a shudder run through me. His hands roam downward, and he lifts his shirt to palm my bare ass.
“Here’s an idea. How about we ditch the food and I eat you instead?” he whispers huskily against my neck, his fingers sliding toward my clit.
I have to fight very hard to resist the offer, instead slapping his hand away.
“No, I’m starving. Food first, sex later.”
He shoots me an annoyed look. “You just said ten minutes ago that you wanted another round.”
“That was before you convinced me to get up, Nicky. Now I’m hungry,” I tell him with a teasing smile.
“Well, I’m hungry too, sweetheart.”
His eyes are dark with desire, and I release a shaky breath. This should scare me. I should be running for the hills. Instead, all I want to do is jump into his arms. He could break me so easily.
I guess it’s a good thing I’m already in so many pieces.