Chapter 1
ALEXIS
Present day…
“I’m pregnant… with your husband’s baby,” said Everly, my close friend I’d known for years.
I had come home from work to find her in my driveway, saying she had to speak with me. I even offered her a cup of tea as we settled on the couch, side by side. In no way did I expect those next words out of her mouth.
My brain glitched… then glitched again. Surely I misheard?
Then, she kept talking.
“We didn’t mean for this to happen…”
Crack.
“He’s been so scared to tell you…”
Crack.
“But we have to try. For the baby…”
Crack. I could feel my heart splintering with each statement, each revelation.
Then, the front door slammed open, my husband stalling in the doorway. His usual soft brown eyes looked anything but as his gaze bounced between us to then settle on mine—with sheer and utter panic.
Shatter.
Everly bolted to her feet, which made Owen snap into action.
He came for us— for her.
“What the fuck have you done?” he asked, pulling on Everly’s arm as if to get her away from me. Probably for her own safety in case I snapped into a psychotic rage. Lucky for them both, I felt numb.
“She deserves to know.”
“I was going to tell her my way. Fuck , Everly.”
Up until that point, I was in some bizarre dissociative state. It was as if I was a third person floating from afar, silently watching my own life implode before my eyes.
That’s when some arbitrary emotions sparked enough for my thoughts to take root, for their absurd declarations to actually make sense.
Owen was fighting with a woman… A woman who was not his wife. I listened, concentrated hard, finally hearing his words above the roaring in my ears.
“I told you I’d look after my baby. I fucking told you! That doesn’t mean you can come here…”
My baby .
He said it. With his own voice, his very own mouth. Owen had already claimed the unborn child. Already considered that new life. His.
Ignoring their lovers’ spat, I bypassed them, bolted up the stairs to our main bedroom and started packing. My scrambled mind shut out their yelling and arguing and concentrated on what I had to do right at that moment.
Leave and escape — preferably without killing them both.
Once I had retrieved all my important documents and valuables, I started on my belongings, haphazardly throwing anything and everything that could fit into the suitcase. Because once I left, I was never coming back.
Our loving home that we had lived in for two years after our fairytale wedding… All those memories eviscerated.
I rubbed my sternum—a niggling pain that festered within my chest. Leave. Escape.
Once the suitcase was full to bursting, I managed to zip it closed before the bedroom door swung open with a bang, nearly falling off its hinges. Owen stood there, wide-eyed and panting before me.
I’d been so preoccupied I hadn’t realised it had gone quiet—too quiet. Their screams had ceased… If only that aided the never-ending screams reverberating inside my skull.
“You can’t leave! Let me explain. Let’s sit down and talk. FUCK! It wasn’t supposed to go like this. I was supposed to—”
Fuck him. Fuck this. He didn’t deserve my time. Not a single second.
I grabbed the suitcase and went to barge past when he blocked my way.
“You’re not leaving.” He looked rabid, like he was on the verge of losing his sanity. Too late for me, though, I guess.
I should have taken that as a warning, read his expression properly, processed his rage beneath the desperation, but I just didn’t give a fuck. “Don’t you want the house for your new wife, your new family?”
“ You’re my wife. You’re my family.”
I flinched. The audacity of this man. The actual balls he had to make love to me the night before his mistress came over to implode our life with their big announcement. I rubbed my sternum again, trying to get rid of that pesky ache that wouldn’t quit.
Then, my mind snapped, and I started laughing—cackling, even. I didn’t know what was happening with my body. I thought it was defecting, but anything was better than crying. I wouldn’t give him my tears. Nothing.
“You’re delusional,” I managed to spit.
Owen’s hands raised in surrender. “Let me explain.”
I sobered immediately. “There’s nothing to explain. I don’t want to know. I know enough. Move. ”
As I went to pivot around him, Owen stepped in my way again. He didn’t touch me though. As soon as I stopped, the stupid moron thought it was his in to tell me about his sordid love affair with my ex-friend.
“Everly and I… We—”
I screamed. Until my lungs were strained and my throat tore apart, I screamed. Hearing him say her name made my gut turn. It made me so fucking sick.
The high-pitched screech came to a halt as I concentrated on regaining my breath. “Don’t ever speak her name in front of me again. Better yet, you don’t ever speak to me again. Don’t touch me, don’t look at me. From now on, you don’t exist.”
I could see the terror in his eyes, the fear setting in as he tried and failed to placate me. That new, unhinged version of his wife he had never met.
Welcome to my alter ego, asshole. The scorned, heartbroken wife who will fucking destroy you. Yet, he still harped on with his shit.
“You’re not leaving until we talk this out. I’m not losing you over this.”
Fed up, I decided if he wasn’t going to let me go, I would bulldoze straight through him. I shoved with all my might, pitching a hard shoulder into his torso.
Get the fuck out of my way.
And you know what that cheating bastard did? He thought he would restrain me, hold my wrists to prevent them from pummelling into his chest. When that started, I’m not sure, but it felt good. So I continued to throw hands—punching, slapping, scratching.
I tried to inflict the same pain that was festering in my veins, in the very marrow of my bones. Unbearable, crippling pain.
The assault didn’t stop until he was squeezing my wrists so hard they felt like they were going to fracture.
Our chests heaved as we shared breath. I’d rather be oxygen-deprived than share the same air as him. I’d rather my skin peel off than have his touch.
“ You’re going to hurt yourself,” he said, his voice choked with sadness.
Leave. Escape.
I tried to twist out of his hold, but he wouldn’t relent. I wasn’t stupid. I knew how much his physical strength outweighed my own. Still, I couldn’t help but try. And for the first time since the newfound revelation, I stared him dead in the eyes and let him see the internal shift inside me. Watch, motherfucker, and see what you have done.
His fingers inadvertently tightened on my bruising wrists, and I whimpered. “Break them. Everything else I have, you broke.”
Owen stumbled back, dropping his hold immediately, horror freshly painted over his face.
“I will give you time. But we’re going to talk, Alexis. I’m going to fix this.”
I couldn’t deal with him much longer. I could feel the tether of my emotions pushing forward, wanting release. I had to get out before I broke down. Before I crumbled to the floor where I’d be unable to get back up.
I shut that shit down, packing all that hurt, all that useless feeling so far down to revisit another time.
Leave. Escape.
As if Owen could see the resolve hardening in place, he lost his composure. His voice cracked on a sob, and tears ran from his eyes as he instinctively reached for me.
His palms squeezed my cheeks as he dispersed kisses all over my face. Silently begging, pleading.
Each brush of contact reverent, each caress sealed with a vow—one he had already set on fire and burnt to ash.
And I felt nothing. I was an empty shell. Subjectively, I could feel his touch, but the neurons weren’t relaying to my brain. I couldn’t even feel his lips, not really. I just felt cold… So utterly cold.
After he naturally tapered off by laying one last kiss on my lips, Owen finished by looking deep into my eyes, searching for something he would no longer find.
Then, I gave him my reply.
“Your touch feels like poison,” I said. So matter-of-fact and genuine, the words made him wince backwards. Taking advantage of his distraction, I bolted for the door towards my freedom. “You will never see me again.”
I risked one last glance before my exit—one tiny token to take with me on the perilous journey ahead I’d found myself alone on.
Owen had crumbled to his knees, pulling at his hair, sobbing “please” over and over again.
Without another word, I walked out of our shared life—the life he had broken beyond repair.