Chapter 9
OWEN
“Well, she sounds like a downright cunt.” My father’s words had me choking on laughter.
After unloading my past turmoil on him, I felt lighter somehow.
“But Owen, why didn’t you tell us? You didn’t have to go through all of that by yourself. I hate the thought of that tyrant using you, manipulating you. Especially in the state you’ve been in.”
“I must admit, I haven’t been in my right mind since Alexis left.” I inhaled deeply. “I’ve really managed to fuck everything up, huh?”
“Yes and no.”
“In what scenario is there a no, Dad?”
“This baby.” He said it so simply as if that in itself was the answer. “I know I’m not good at this shit, son, but let me try. Yes, you have lost something dear, and we are devastated for you. But this baby is innocent.”
I sat there stunned. My father was really going to go there.
“You’ve lost your love, but you can find another in this child. Your child. You now have the opportunity to experience a different type of love—as a father.”
That was the first time I’d ever heard my dad say the word “love”, and he just mentioned it twice in one sentence. I really had fallen off the deep end.
“It’s time for you to come to terms with Alexis, Owen. She deserves to heal, and so do you. I don’t want you to regret holding back from this child because you don’t have the energy to spare.”
I understood what he was trying to say. Harriot had surmised the same. I had a baby who was relying on me. And I couldn’t give all of myself if I was stuck chasing after someone who didn’t want me.
Alexis had confirmed that in the most evident way possible, and I was finally willing to listen and process her request. I had given her no choice in the entire scenario, and there was no chance of reconciliation.
“I just don’t know how to let her go, Dad. I love her. Above all else, I love her.”
Then, my indifferent father shocked the hell out of me by pulling me into his side in a tight man hug. It felt good—the first inkling of warmth I had received since Alexis left town.
“I know, Owen. But you don’t have to stop loving her in order to love another. The human capacity for change is amazing. One person doesn’t have to be replaced. There’s enough room for both,” Dad grumbled. “Shit, I’m just stuffing this up, aren’t I?”
I snickered. “No, you actually make complete sense. I will love this child, Dad. Give this little boy or girl my everything. And if I somehow manage to become half the dad you are, they will be one lucky kid.”
Dad coughed to clear his throat, but he couldn’t hide the pride written over his face. “I know it’s not how you envisioned it, but you will be the best father, Owen. I have no doubt. And we will be there with you, every step of the way.”
I nodded, my future not seeming as daunting as it had earlier. I still had a family willing to support me, to stay in my corner. I wanted to be a better man, to become deserving of their devotion again.
“Do you mind if I sit by the lake for a bit, Dad? I won’t be long.”
“Take your time, son. I’ll always be here.”
I sat lakeside with my arms circling my bent knees, reminiscing over my marriage and shared history with Alexis—filled with so much affection and joy.
At twenty-six, she remained as breathtaking as when I first saw her in high school. The Thorne family had moved to our small town of Acacia Falls over the summer, and the place was abuzz with the newcomers’ arrival.
I knew many thought love at first sight was a myth, a phony construct made up by fantastical movies and works of fiction, but they were wrong.
As soon as I saw her unblemished neck tipped back with unguarded laughter, I knew Alexis was mine, and that she’d be in my life forever.
Then commenced my shoddy job at chasing the girl until she felt sorry for me enough to agree to a date—which turned into all our firsts. A first kiss, our first intimacy, our engagement, then marriage.
I was happy. We were happy.
So why did I go and implode all that happiness in the time span of one unforgivable act? I couldn’t fathom the thought of losing her over something so meaningless and stupid.
Useless tears lined my lashes as searing hopelessness continued to carve a deep hole into my conscience. I couldn’t live without her. Still, reality was a vicious bitch that refused to be denied.
Pushing against the negative narrative, I reverted back to a favoured memory, wanting to reminisce on the last moment we were happy together. The night we shared as husband and wife. The night I couldn’t resist her. The night before I lost everything.
That last week of knowing about the pregnancy was brutal. I intentionally swapped shifts in hopes to avoid Alexis while I sorted through all my conflicted emotions.
I’d finally made it home late in the evening, and the house was quiet as I entered. After a long shower doused in self-pity, I strolled into our room, gazing upon my sleeping wife.
Alexis had kicked off the sheets, her naked body bare and beautiful, glowing beneath the minimal moonlight peeking through the curtains.
Then, she summoned me, pulling me into her orbit that I could never resist.
“Baby, what are you doing?” Alexis muttered, half asleep with her eyes still closed.
I remained still. I should’ve told her then. But, like always, I faltered.
“Owen? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever. Come here, baby. I need you,” my siren of a wife called.
I was a liar, a wretch, an utter fool—and yet I couldn’t help wanting her. I would always want her. The ache in my chest had grown so painful I could hardly breathe—until she reached out and laced her fingers with mine. With her touch came the overwhelming sensation of love. I let it drown out everything else and submitted to her.
I slid on top of Alexis as she welcomed me in her arms. She was still dopey from sleep, a soft smile grazing her lips as she wrapped her legs around my waist.
I cradled her as close as possible, imprinting her into my skin and mine into hers. I kissed her lips and leisurely stroked her tongue. God, I needed her.
Shifting my pelvis back, I settled at her entrance, finding her wet and ready. I entered slowly, wanting her to feel every inch while I savoured each second we were connected in that blissful haze.
Alexis whimpered and writhed. “I’ve missed you, Owen.”
“You never have to, babe. I’m yours. Will always be yours.”
I continued my unhurried torture, pumping in and out as my mouth scattered kisses over her face, down her throat, wherever I could reach.
“I love you, Alexis. So fucking much it hurts.”
I’m sure she could hear the desperation in my voice as her lust-filled eyes fluttered open to search mine. All she found was the truth. I fucking loved her.
Alexis gave a sweet smile and pressed forward, giving me an even sweeter kiss. “As I love you.”
We soon climaxed together, joined so close I didn’t want to part.
I tipped sideways on the bed, ensuring I remained inside her, crushing her to me so tight we inhaled the same air.
That’s how I fell asleep—with my whole world in my arms.
No matter how horrible I was for selfishly stealing that moment, I couldn’t bring myself to regret it, even on her behalf.
That was the last night that I had everything I ever wanted, and I would live on those memories forever.
Slipping off my wedding ring, I accepted the finality of my actions. I had done wrong by my wife, but I would do right by my child.
Drawing in a deep breath, I stood from my crouched position and looked out at our place one final time as a married man.
The next day, I signed the divorce papers.