Chapter 17
OWEN
I had just finished another session with Phil, Alexis chattering away with her sister in the corner, acting like I wasn’t there.
Over the past week or so, we had ignored our previous interactions and settled into a strained truce, Alexis detaching herself. We were civil —extra polite, even. As if we were strangers, as if my heart wasn’t being ripped out of my chest every time she didn’t meet my eyes, every time she didn’t address me directly.
Seeing her didn’t diminish my feelings of desperation. If anything, her proximity caused them to writhe and spin out of control. I knew my one-sided attachment was unhealthy, that I was on the verge of dipping back into depression. But I couldn’t help myself. I lapped up every second in her orbit.
I’d also unintentionally become fond of her boy, Austin. He looked nothing like Alexis, so he obviously took after his father, whoever that was. And yet, all I saw was a cute kid who reminded me a lot of my nephew of the same age—intelligent, hilarious and full of mischief. He’d dropped the daddy act, and instead settled on being my closest friend—his words not mine. Most days, Austin broke the tension, his innocence creating a buffer between our complex past.
So when I overheard the Thorne sisters talking about packing bags and leaving for the city—their home—I had to escape that stifling room before they saw me spiralling.
She was leaving—again.
Mumbling a quick goodbye to Phil, I bolted out of there and out of the hospital altogether.
As I reached my car, a sense of déjà vu sparked as Alexis called to me from behind. “Owen, can we talk for a minute?”
I inhaled a deep breath or two, then faced my living nightmare. This is where she tells me to go fuck myself, right? It’s what I deserved, but still, panic stirred at the mere thought.
As I took her in, she seemed agitated, twisting her fingers, avoiding eye contact. “I thought it would be important to let you know what’s going to happen with Dad. It’s not my intention to make you uncomfortable…”
I internally tried to raise those barriers to protect myself from the inevitable pain when her next words shocked me to my core.
“I’m moving back to Acacia Falls to help Dad… I know it’s a small town, and our families will most likely run into each other often.”
My brain ran so fast my mouth was sprinting without a command. “Why would that make me uncomfortable?”
She gulped, her face reddening. “Well, I have a son now, and I don’t want anything affecting his transition here. I guess I wanted to give you and Everly a heads-up.”
“ Everly? ” What the fuck is she talking about? Then it clicked, causing frustration to rise in my voice. “You don’t know, do you?”
I was irrationally pissed, yet pissed all the same.
Alexis’ gaze hit mine for the first time, most likely in reaction to my shaky, irritated tone. And without her having to ask, I spilled all my shit at her feet. “Everly is long gone, and not a part of my life. Hasn’t been for years now. What do you think I’ve been doing all this time, playing happy families?
Alexis blanched, processing the new intel. “I-I don’t know. I refused to look into it, rejected anything pertaining to you. I didn’t think I could handle that type of information.”
Gosh, after so much time, there was still so much pain . In me. In her. I could hear it in Alexis’ voice, see the truth in her eyes, the very lining of her expression. It mirrored mine.
I had no chance of controlling my impulses as I stepped forward and spoke my truth—the truth I had bottled up and let percolate over the past four and a half years.
“Well, listen, and listen good Alexis, ’cause this is all the information you will ever need from me. Losing you was the biggest regret of my entire life. I was a fool, a coward, a goddamn wretch. I made a mistake. A terrible, unforgivable mistake that ruined me , ruined us . I hurt the person I love the most over a fucking con, a gimmick that I wasn’t strong enough to fight on my own.”
Alexis was completely frozen as I slammed her with my sincerity. It was my first opportunity since everything had gone down to speak. And I wasn’t holding back, not anymore.
I took another step closer. “There is no child. There is no Everly. There is no other woman for me, ever .”
Tears lined my eyes as I poured everything I had into Alexis. Submitting to my selfish needs, I skimmed my fingers down her cheek. “I never got to apologise. Although it feels like I’ve been screaming the words for years. This may not mean anything to you now, but here it is anyway.” My hand pushed further, cupping the side of her face. So precious.
“I’m sorry, Alexis. I will forever be sorry. I know you deserve more than a measly apology, but that’s all I have to give. All my remorse and regret. I’m sorry, baby .”
Tears gathered in her eyes to match mine. Unable to watch them spill over, I removed my touch.
Looking at her was too much. The touch of her skin was too much. Those unsettling, chaotic emotions were all too fucking much .
Without waiting for a reply, I got in my car and screeched out of the parking lot, unable to survive any hate she may have harboured towards me despite knowing I wholeheartedly deserved it.