Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
STEVIE
M averick cleared his throat, opened his mouth and closed it. He put his hands in his pockets. Took them out. Put them in again. Took one out. He was walking so fast along the sidewalk downtown that I had to skip every other step to keep pace.
We’d met a few minutes ago, both parking on the same block for our weekly date. He’d made reservations for us at a local brick-oven-pizza place, and if he didn’t slow down, we’d be ten minutes early.
“What’s the rush?” I asked.
“Huh?” He looked at me, like he’d forgotten I was beside him. “Oh. Shit. Sorry.” He altered his stride to the point where it was basically a crawl.
“You’re acting weird.”
“No, I’m not.” He scowled, dark eyebrows knitting together.
“Yes, you are.”
It was the kiss in the meadow. When we finally broke apart, he’d looked at me with fear in his eyes. And I’d known on the drive back to town, he was going to be weird.
We’d left the mountains as the sun had begun to drop below the jagged horizon. By the time we’d made it to Adair and my Jeep, night had fallen. I’d been grateful for the dark. And that cooler of food. We’d had chips with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to occupy our mouths on the trip to town so that we wouldn’t have to talk.
We should talk. Probably. Not that I had any clue what to say.
I’d told him I was a virgin. And he’d kissed me. Was that his way of agreeing? Or testing the waters?
God, I wish I understood men.
“Maverick?” I slowed to a stop, waiting for him to do the same. Then, when he turned to face me, it was my turn to open my mouth and close it, completely at a loss for what to say. “This is hard.”
“Yeah.” He raked a hand through his hair, the strands sticking on end before he smoothed them out. “When did this get so complicated?”
“About the same time I asked you to have sex with me.”
He chuckled. “So it’s your fault.”
“Yes,” I grumbled. Being wrong was worse than losing. “Can we please, please forget it ever happened?”
“Sure.” That was a lie.
I couldn’t even get mad at him for it. This entire awkward situation was my doing. Why hadn’t he run away screaming? Was he really that desperate to prove to Meredith we could do this? But if that was the case, why take me to the mountains? “Why do you keep kissing me?”
He shrugged. “Why not?”
“Is this like you testing the waters or something? ”
“What?”
“I don’t know.” My face was starting to get hot. “Are you considering... it?”
He was, wasn’t he? That’s why this was getting weird? Because he was actually considering sex. With me. Were we actually having this conversation? Or was this a nightmare? It felt very much like a bad dream.
Maverick frowned, then reached out and snatched my hand, clasping it tight as he pulled me down the sidewalk. “I realize this is something you’re chomping at the bit to do, but can we just go on this date?”
“Oh my God.” My stomach pitched so violently I came to a fast halt, my head spinning as I thought about this from his standpoint.
What the actual fuck was wrong with me?
All this time, I’d been so concerned with my virginity. With having sex so I could be done with it. I’d asked Maverick for his help like he was some sort of tool at my disposal. Meaningless sex was his specialty, right? So why wouldn’t he want to help?
I hadn’t once thought about how he might feel used. Feel cheap.
“Maverick, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I did this. It was wrong and insensitive and I’ll understand if you want to go home and never speak to me again.”
He stopped and turned, giving me a sideways glance. “What are you talking about?”
“I propositioned you. For sex.” My skin crawled. I was actually the worst.
A throat cleared behind Maverick. And then a couple emerged past his broad shoulders. A couple I’d seen at the fieldhouse on campus and in the weight room countless times.
Ford Ellis, the head coach of the Wildcats football team. And Millie Cunningham, an assistant athletics director.
They were arguably the most beautiful couple in Mission.
Please, please say they hadn’t heard me.
Maverick gave Ford a tight smile. “Hey, Coach.”
“Maverick.” Ford’s eyes softened with pity.
Without question, they’d just heard me.
Never in my life had I wanted to walk into traffic before, but as cars zoomed down Main Street, it was tempting.
I tugged on my hand, still in Maverick’s grip, but his fingers clamped tight. There was a warning in the pressure of his hold not to make this worse.
“We were just walking by and thought we’d say hello.” Millie pulled in her lips like she was trying to hide a smile. “Hi, Stevie.”
“Hi.” My face had to be as red as the fire hydrant on the next block.
Shit . This was a disaster. This was karma for how I’d treated Maverick.
“I don’t believe we’ve met.” Coach Ellis held up a hand in a wave since my right hand was clearly not free to shake. “I’m Ford Ellis.”
“Nice to meet you, Coach Ellis.” I gave him a wobbly smile.
“Stevie was a setter on the volleyball team,” Maverick told them, giving me a glance. “She set the school record for assists last year.”
Wait. He’d actually gotten my position correct—setter, not center. And he knew I’d set that record? My parents probably bragged about it, but those were normally the types of details that went in one of Maverick’s ears and out the other.
“Really? That’s awesome.” Coach Ellis nodded. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you?” The unnecessary question mark at the end of what should have been a statement floated around my head. Kill. Me. Now.
Coach Ellis was being nice, but I still wanted to run far, far away. Anything to escape the cloud of embarrassment and its torrential downpour of humiliation.
“We’d better get going.” Millie came to my rescue, pulling on Ford’s hand. “Bye, Stevie. Maverick.”
“See ya,” he said. “Later, Coach.”
Ford clapped Mav on the shoulder, then they were gone.
“That didn’t just happen.” I slipped my hand free of Maverick’s and buried my face in my hands.
“Oh, it happened.” He sighed, then two, strong arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug.
Even with my hands still on my face, his scent surrounded me. Laundry soap and citrus and woodsy cologne.
“I’m sorry, Houston.”
“It’s fine, Adair.”
Maybe reverting to last names would make this less awkward. Probably not, but at this point, I’d try anything.
He let me go, pulling at my wrists until I had no choice but to meet his gaze. “I don’t think you’re using me for sex, especially considering we haven’t had sex. So stop stressing it, okay? I don’t feel propositioned.”
I cringed at his use of my own damn word. “I wish I could take it all back. ”
“I don’t.”
“Really?”
He shook his head. “Do you think you’re the first woman who asked me to fuck her?”
“No,” I muttered. But I really didn’t want to think about him and other women.
Mav glanced over his shoulder, making sure we were alone. “If I don’t want to have sex, then I don’t. Simple as that. You want me to forget it. I’m forgetting it. But you have to do the same. You’re not forcing me into anything, babe.”
I scrunched up my nose. “Babe? Eww. No.”
“Of course that’s what she hears,” he muttered. “Can we go to dinner now? I’m hungry.”
“Fine.” I fell into step beside him, stealing a look at his profile. “Promise?”
“Promise.” He hooked his pinky finger to mine.
Just like I’d made him do when we were little kids and he made me a promise.
A pinky promise.
“Think we’ll actually make it through a dinner date together?” Maverick asked as we neared the restaurant.
I laughed, about to answer, when the door to the pizza place opened and a stream of people, none looking particularly happy, walked outside.
“What’s going on?” Maverick asked a guy as he passed.
“Their oven died.”
Maverick’s shoulders sagged. “So much for pizza.”
“Want to try somewhere else?”
He rubbed a hand over his jaw, then gave me a smirk. “I’ve got a better idea. Come on.”
We retreated to the lot where we’d parked, and when we got to his truck, Maverick opened the door to the back .
“Um, is there something wrong with the passenger seat?”
“Get in, smartass.” He jerked his chin to the cab, so I climbed inside, sliding down along the bench as he followed me inside.
“Mav, what are?—”
My question was cut short by his mouth crushing mine.
There was a glint in his eyes as he stared at me, his tongue dragging along my bottom lip before he pulled away. “You know what I was thinking about the other day? That party in the mountains in high school. You were drunk and happy and I wish we had been fake dating back then so I could have made out with you in the back of my truck.”
Instead, he’d been chasing after one of the other girls, a junior. What was her name? I was pretty sure they’d had sex in his truck.
Wait. That’s not what this was about, was it? I gulped. “I thought you were hungry.”
He shook his head, bending to kiss the corner of my mouth. “Not anymore.”
My eyes fluttered closed as my belly flipped. Kissing didn’t count. I had to remember that kissing didn’t count. Otherwise, I was going to get myself in a lot of trouble.
Maverick’s mouth trailed along my cheek toward my ear. “You look hot tonight.”
I was in jeans and a black tank top. I wouldn’t go straight to hot. But maybe that’s what he told women in his back seat before he stripped them out of their clothes.
“People will see us.” My voice was breathy, damn it. Making out in his truck was not something that should be appealing, but there was a pulse blooming in my core.
“Who cares?” he asked .
I held back a moan as he took my earlobe between his teeth. “I don’t think I can do it back here.”
“We’re not having sex. We’re just kissing.”
“Oh. Good.” I didn’t want my first time to be in a truck. So why did I sound disappointed?
“Stevie,” Maverick whispered my name, his breath on the shell of my ear sending tingles down my spine. “You’re overthinking this.”
“I am not,” I lied.
I was so stuck in my head I could visualize the tension creeping into my muscles, like they were slowly changing colors, from relaxed pink to angry red.
It was the same thing that happened whenever I was alone with a guy. He’d be touching me, whispering in my ear, feeling me up and my mind would start to wander. I’d lock up, until all I wanted to do was escape.
So I’d make up an excuse and hustle my way out the door.
Maverick growled, leaning away with an exhale. “I meant what I said on the street. If I didn’t want this, I wouldn’t be doing it. Understood?”
That’s not what I’d been thinking, but it was now. “Are you sure? You can say no, and I’ll still fake date you for your mom’s sake.”
“I’m sure.”
“How sure?”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Very sure.”
“How do I know you’re not just saying that?”
“Woman.” He looked to the cab’s roof, his jaw flexing as it worked. When he faced me, there was a new intensity in his blue eyes. “Do I say stuff I don’ t mean?”
“No.” Not to me, at least. Maverick might be an asshole, but he was honest. Brutally so. We both were to each other.
“Can we make out now?”
“Why do you want to if it’s not going any further?”
He blinked. “The guys you’ve dated are truly dickheads, aren’t they?”
Well, yeah.
“I just want to kiss you. That’s all that’s going to happen. It’s not anything more than that. I like kissing you. Do you like kissing me?”
“Yes.”
“Then fucking kiss me.”
“But—”
Before I could argue, his mouth was on mine again, silencing both my voice and my brain. It was like Maverick knew how to find the off switch. Maybe he’d tell me where it was hidden. Or maybe he’d just keep kissing me.
One stroke of his tongue against mine and all of the noise went quiet.
This kiss was different than the others. In the meadow, there’d been desperation and hunger, like he’d needed a good memory before they all paled against the inevitable sad. The one on the porch had been laced with shock and surprise.
This kiss was lazy. Patient. Liquifying. The languid strokes of his tongue were an exploration. A slow discovery.
God, he tasted good. I melted against the seat, letting him plunder my mouth as my hands roamed his broad chest. My palms pressed against every hard muscle. My fingers found every dip and cut of his pecs and arms.
The heat in my core spread to my limbs. It chased away any of that lingering tension until I was pliant. At Maverick’s mercy .
He kissed me for what felt like hours, until my lips were swollen and the windows were fogged. When he finally broke away, the ache in my center was almost unbearable.
“Fuck, you can kiss.” He dragged a hand over his mouth, collapsing against the seat at my side.
It should have been strange, kissing Maverick. Except each time, I only wanted more. Did he feel the same? Or was this how he was with all of the women he’d been with?
Kissing didn’t count, right?
The doubts, the noise, came crashing in like a hailstorm.
“You don’t have to do this,” I said. “You don’t have to kiss me. I know we’re faking this for other people, but we don’t have to fake it to each other.”
“Thirty seconds.” He loosed a dry laugh. “That’s all it took for you to start overthinking this again.”
“I’m being serious.”
He frowned and grabbed my hand, lifting it in the air. Then, with his gaze locked on mine, he brought it to the zipper on his jeans. The denim strained over a bulge. A very large bulge.
Maverick was rock-hard. Oh. My. God.
“Does that feel like I’m faking anything?”
Definitely not.
“That’s what I thought.” He bent and nipped at the corner of my mouth. Then he opened the door, letting in the cool, outside air as he hopped out, adjusted himself, and climbed in the driver’s seat. “Are you going to ride back there?”
“Where are we going?”
“I’m hungry.”
I pulled in my lips to hide a smile as I crawled through the gap to the front seat .
When we got to McDonald’s, he didn’t ask what I wanted. He just ordered me a chicken nugget Happy Meal.