Chapter 12
He went back to where it all started. The small apothecary shop tucked between a pizzeria and an Italian restaurant. New York – Thirty-Fourth street with all its smell and people scurrying around – streaming past each other. The sound, the scent brought back a rush of nostalgia.
The place was now a pharmacy, the building had maintained its structure and shape, because they had willed it. His grandfather had not changed it and neither had his father.
Merrick had decided to let tradition maintain. The pharmacy was owned by Medtech, a thriving one in the center of a busy section of New York. It was family friendly, and people trusted the employees.
Upstairs was still an apartment, two bedrooms and two baths. It had been home for great-grandfather and his family. Now it was home to old Mr. Josephs who had been running the place for more than a decade.
He had not called to let them know he was coming, because it had been a spur of the minute decision and he had no intention of going in. He just wanted to view the place, his heritage from a distance.
And he had selected a worn café where the food was barely passable, and the coffee was insipid. The most important thing was that he would not be recognized.
He had told her goodbye this morning. Woke her up with his mouth and hands. Had them clinging to each other before it was all over. And had kissed her lingeringly, his hands around her waist.
Then he told her he would be out for a bit. It stung and ached that she had not asked him why or when he would be coming back.
She had simply nodded and left.
When he found himself starting after her, he had stepped back in and slammed the door shut. And had gone straight to his phone.
The conversation would be confidential. His head of security was the best and he would find out what was going on.
It pained him to check into her life, but he had to know what he was up against.
He was twisted inside and out with love, but he had to find out. Had to find out in order to deal with it and decide on what to do next. The kicker was he knew that she felt something for him. Something more than lust and was puzzled as to why she was holding back.
And she was. He knew it, sensed it. Pushing away the bad coffee and the pie that the waitress had forced on him, he turned his gaze to the building and felt nostalgia sweeping through him like a storm.
He loved her and would like to think that whatever it was, they could work through it. He could not bear to think otherwise.
A smile touched his lips as he thought on it. He was fifty-five and head over heels in love. He had not told anyone where he was going. His assistant had not questioned him, she had not reminded him of the pressing schedule he had, and the meetings lined up.
She had simply reshuffled things and he promised he would let her know when he was on his way. He had secured a suite in The Royale, a hotel the company had a substantial amount of shares in, and he would go there and perhaps take in a show at the theater later on.
Just lose himself in the performance. He might even call up a few friends and have dinner. If he was up to it. But what he was not going to do was call her.
He had allowed her to trample over his heart and his pride and had to take a step back. Until he discovered what she was hiding, he would stay away. Even if the idea of it would surely debilitate him.
*****
“We’re digging into Jason Pendergast?”
“Yes,” she responded without looking up from the notes she was making.
“I take it you received new information?”
“Something like that.” She looked up when he came in and closed the door. “I don’t have time…”
“I’m afraid you’re going to have to make time!.” He sat on the chair and stretched his legs out. “You look like hell, by the way. The billionaire keeping you up at night? Or is it your conscience.”
“Go to hell.”
He sighed and back down. “Look, I’m not here to give you grief…”
“Then why are you here?”
“We have another body and rumors from up top indicates that our time is up. If we do not close this out by the next couple of days, we are off the case.”
She felt the burden crashing down on her. She was not on her game. This morning when he kissed her, she knew he was telling her goodbye and had not done a damn thing about it.
She couldn’t and was telling herself that it was for the best. But she had stared at her phone several times during the morning and ached to hear his deep voice. She picked up the phone at one point with the intention of calling, but she had nothing to say, at least nothing he would want to hear.
“We’re close,” she murmured.
“How was dinner?”
“Enlightening. I met the entire family who does not approve of me with the exception of Michael who is a sweetheart. The wife – Janey is a royal bitch who has the hots for Merrick and did nothing to hide it. It was damn embarrassing.”
He gave her a level glance that had her shifting in her seat.
“What?”
“A family like that is bound to be suspicious of a woman who just came into Pendergast’s life. What did you tell them about yourself?”
“Next to nothing.”
“My point exactly. No doubt they are going to have you investigated.”
She had thought of that and the thought of him finding out about her was making her edgy. She need to finish this quickly. “There are some other key players.”
“In the company?”
She nodded. “In the R I just know it.”
“You and Pendergast. What’s going to happen?”
“Nothing!” She snapped it out. “I am doing my job and intend to see it through.”
“Margo…”
“Please.” She held up a hand to stop him. “I cannot talk about it, not now.”
*****
He had lived in New York so many years ago and knew the ins and outs. He had enjoyed the frenetic pace, the constant ebb and flow of people, the madness of the traffic and the brilliance of the lights pouring from the many high-rise buildings. That had been when he was young and just getting to know himself and who he was.
He had brought Laura here to wine and dine her. They had gone to several shows, walked in Central park and taken buggy rides in the dead of winter. One night – in the middle of the night, they had ordered pizza and sat on the floor of the apartment and just filled themselves with the pie and a bottle of vintage wine.
Now he was a lot older and would like to believe much wiser, but here he was, sitting in an exclusive restaurant and wishing Margo was here with him. He had not called her, and she hadn’t called him either. He had not expected her to.
He was about to pick up his wine glass when he heard his name.
Looking up, he felt a shimmer of surprise as someone from the very distant past came rushing over, followed by the ma?tre D’.
“I cannot believe my eyes.”
“Grace?” He rose slowly and nodded to the man who bowed and retreated. Pushing back his chair, he moved towards her and extended his hands. Green eyes sparkled in pleasure as she leaned in for a kiss.
“Of all the eateries in the state of New York.” She pulled him in for a resounding kiss and he let her. “You are here – in New York. You should have called me.”
“I keep forgetting that this is where you live now.”
“I am a news anchor for CBS.”
“I have watched you several times.” He gestured for her to sit. “Have you eaten?”
“I was just meeting with my agent and was on my way out.” Leaning across the table, she took his hands in hers and squeezed. “You have been out of touch since the accident and the funeral. Laura was my best friend.”
“I know,” Merrick murmured. “It was difficult for me to stay in touch with her friends. For an exceedingly long time, I could not face what was.”
“I understand. You are finishing up. How about I buy you a glass of wine and we catch up?”
“That sounds like a plan.”
“All right then.” She signaled the waiter, who came right over.
*****
Her house seemed empty and strange. She had spent several nights away, and her plants were neglected. The bite of wind had cut through her light jacket, reminding her that fall was roaring in. And she was tired. Worn out, like she had never been before.
She was getting old; she thought as she went into the kitchen to water her plants and put the kettle on. She had picked up Chinese out of habit. She was not hungry. Brad had brought her something from the deli a block away and she had barely nibbled on it. The coffee at the precinct tasted like crap and she realized she had been spoiled.
She was listless and unhappy. Her aunt had called, and she promised to go and visit her, but she was not in the mood for conversation. She was not in the mood for anything.
She wanted to shy away from what was really bugging her. She was hooked on him, gone all the way over and she missed him. He had done something to her. She had gone through all her life being independent, self-sufficient, never needing anyone. The job had always been enough for her, and it had satisfied her.
Rummaging through the pantry, she chose a blend of ginger and lemon and poured water over the pouch and then added honey.
Taking the cup with her, she went to sit at the table next to the window and looked out at the trees waving in the breeze. She should get Bernard to come and do some trimming before the leaves start making a damn mess.
Where was he? The thought snuck in before she could stop it. He had only said he was going out of town for a bit. He had not told her he would call while he was away or when he would be coming back.
And she was not going to call him. The words he had spoken to her were haunting her. And she was afraid that she had fallen deep. Was he with someone else? She wondered achingly. And if he was, could she blame him?
Picking up her cup, she took a sip.
And was not surprised to feel the tears leaking from her eyes.
Damn him! Since getting involved with Merrick Pendergast, she had cried more than she ever did before in her whole life.
*****
“I believe it’s a sign,” Grace murmured as she stared at him over her glass.
“A sign?”
She nodded. “That we are in the same restaurant at the precisely the same time. After all these years. I liked you all those years ago Mer, but you had eyes only for Laura and being the good friend I was, I decided to let things go.
And after the funeral, you were so broken up, I could not do anything. I wanted to comfort you, be there for you.” She touched his hand briefly and let her touch linger. “Then we were both so busy afterwards. I launched my career and well you…” She smiled. “You became busier taking your company to exalted heights.
Then I made the poor decision of marrying my co-anchor and that fell flat. It lasted all of two years, and we realized that we should have just stuck with the sleeping arrangement.” Her green eyes softened. “Laura was lucky. Even though you had all that money and good looks, you never once looked at another woman.”
“I was in love with her.”
Grace nodded. “And now?”
“Now.” He contemplated his wine and felt his heart lurching. “I’m afraid I am in love with someone – all the way in love with her.”
Grace stared at him in surprise. “She’s not here with you?”
“No!” He shook his head. “It’s complicated.”
“Anyone I know?” She asked casually as disappointment lanced through her heart. She had thought that seeing him here and now, was a sign that they would end up in bed and form some sort of relationship.
“No.” Lifting up his wineglass, he took a sip. “It’s really good to see you.”
She hid the grimace and made one last desperate play. He had been on her mind recently and she had thought of getting in touch with him. She was ambitious and driven and existing in a man’s world; it takes guts and stamina to stay in that position. Hooking up with a man with tremendous resources could only sweeten the pot.
“I was thinking we could go upstairs.” Her fingers danced over his hand lightly, seductively. She was a beautiful woman after all, and men were usually susceptible to her considerable charms.
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to say - no.” He removed his hand and sent her a regretful smile.
She sighed and picked up her wine. “Just my luck to fail a second time. Whoever she is, I hope she realize how fortunate she is.”
He smiled at that and did not respond. “Tell me about your job as a news anchor.”
*****
“It’s late.”
“I know and that has never bothered you before.” He pushed his way in and went straight into the kitchen with her trailing behind him reluctantly. She was tired, but drinking tea and taking a warm bath had not helped. She was still up, and the Chinese food was still untouched. She was not hungry, just lethargic as hell and terribly unhappy.
“What do you want, Brad?”
“In a minute.’ He dug into the bag and took out the food, looking up at her with a frown.
You didn’t eat.”
“No, mother.”
“Do you mind if I…”
She waved a hand at him. “Knock yourself out. It needs reheating.”
She sat at the table and waited for him to reheat the meal and bring it over. Even the scent of it was making her nauseous.
“Last chance.” He pointed at the food, and she shook her head.
“What’s up?”
“I should be asking you the same thing.” He dug into Chow Mein with gusto, his eyes on her. “You looked haunted and that is the most appropriate word I can come up with and you’re not eating. Are you that gone over this guy?”
“I am tired, this case has me wiped. That is all.”
“And you’re sticking to that story.”
She hissed out a breath and shoved out of the chair to get a glass of water. “He suspects that something is not right.”
“I see. Did he tell you that?”
She took a gulp of water and came to sit back down.
“No. But I felt it. He wanted – wants a commitment and I blew him off.”
Brad stared at her with narrowed eyes. “What sort of commitment?”
“Live together, marriage, the whole works. He said that he is in love with me.”
He stared at her and did not say anything for a full five seconds.
“What did you say to that?”
“I just told him he was crazy, and that we have only just met.”
“Christ!” Brad was trying to figure out how he felt about that. “And?”
“Nothing. We parted ways this morning and he said he had to go out of town. He did not tell me he would be in touch or anything like that. It felt like goodbye.”
“How do you feel about that?”
She shrugged and took another sip of water. “Relieved.” She caught his skeptical expression and took a breath. “Miserable. But it is for the best. My instinct is telling me that he is going to run me.”
“I am surprised he hasn’t already. Your cover, that of being a novelist sounded a little thin and shaky. You could not come up with anything else?”
“It was on the fly and why is it shaky?” She demanded.
He snorted and scooped up some chicken. “You’re not romantic.”
That stung, a little. “I can be.”
“You’re not. You are a little crude and over the top rude. You dress like you’re going hiking, and your body language says a hell of a lot.
And I doubt you ever read a romance novel in your life. I once forced you to watch a Romcom with me and you laughed at the love scenes and called the main actress weak willed and always begging for attention.”
“She was.”
“My point exactly.”
“And for your information, I have read a romance novel. At my aunt’s when I spent the night.”
“Did you finish it?”
“No. It was boring as hell. The female kept crying at the drop of a hat and wanted to ‘be taken’ by the guy. It was humiliating. I wanted to shoot myself.”
He grinned at her pained expression. “Now you’re that person.”
“What?” Her head jerked up.
He studied her face for a minute and could feel regret churning inside him. She was fresh from a bath and the scent surrounded her. Her hair was twisted and piled on top of her head and her skin was flawless. She looked like a woman twenty years younger.
“When are you going to admit that you are in love with Pendergast?”
“I am not! I,…” She subsided and closed her eyes briefly. “Is it that obvious?”
“To me.” He felt the regret twisting him inside out. “What are you going to do about it?”
“I am going to close the goddamned case and prove his innocence. He is not involved. And that is not my hormones talking. I am a damn good cop, and I know when a person is guilty.
Merrick is not. I have no idea why a man of his smarts has not figured out what is going on in his company, but I have a feeling it’s because the key player is family. And Jason Pendergast has covered his tracks.”
He continued eating, his head down as he handled the chopsticks and picked up the meal.
“What?”
“It’s strange to know that you are normal after all.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
He finished the last of the meal and placed his elbows on the table, blue eyes studying her irritated expression. “It means Sullivan that for years I have tried to get you to notice me as more than a partner, but you never did. I have to admit that I am more than a little jealous of the man who was able to accomplish the impossible.”
*****
He took his drink with him and sat on the edge of the bed. The time spent with Grace had been pleasant enough, but he couldn’t wait to get away and be alone with his thoughts. Seeing her brought back the painful memories of what had happened.
Twirling the glass around in his hand, he was oblivious to the sumptuous luxury of his suite. The royal blue and cream décor meant nothing to him. He had stayed here a few times before and the staff had always been gracious, bending over backwards to accommodate him.
The manager, a small meticulous man had hurried out to greet him and escorted him personally to his suite with the promise to send up some refreshments. He had told the man he was all right for tonight, but at the look of consternation on his face, he had reluctantly agreed for something to be sent up.
He took a sip of the bourbon and let his thoughts drift to the past. To Laura. He remembered her ready smile, the richness of her dark brown hair and the sparkle in her hazel eyes.
She had loved him- perhaps more than he had loved her. She had done everything to please him and sometimes it irritated him that she was so eager to please him.
He had acknowledged to himself that was the reason he had put off marrying her. Downing the liquor, he also admit to himself that he had met his match in Margo.