Chapter 1 Emily #2
Pulling a blanket over my lap, I stared out the large picture windows that looked over our property. It was a beautiful winter day, with the sun high in the sky making the snow sparkle, and the pine trees standing tall past our pastures and horse barn.
The barn where my horse, Smokey, the beautiful dappled gray, waited for me. When I’d gotten back from my last trip, I promised myself—and her—that I’d start taking her out for daily rides again. Maybe the fresh air would be good for me. Help me figure out what was next.
After all, I never imagined I’d be twenty-eight and still single.
Dating apps were useless, and I’d given up on the idea of meeting someone in a bar or while traveling.
Hookups might have been fun at first, but they’d never amounted to anything.
And though my parents had offered to set me up—multiple times, might I add—with the single doctors that worked at their hospital, I’d always turned them down.
“Stop chasing the fairytale,” I muttered out loud to myself.
But was it so wrong that all I wanted was a man who was obsessed with me?
One who wasn’t just the love of my life, but also my best friend.
Someone I could talk to for hours without getting bored, who would get down on his knees and worship me.
The last one might have been the romance novels talking, but damn, I missed sex.
I missed good sex. And I certainly wouldn’t find someone to hook up with at a bar in town.
Not when the chances of running into someone I went to high school with were high.
Or someone who knew my parents or my brothers, and…
Safe to say, the only orgasms I was going to be getting were battery powered ones. Though I wouldn’t turn down the opportunity if it came knocking.
I sighed, smoothing a hand down my face. “You’re a mess, Emily Sullivan. Nothing has changed. Of course, the perfect man wasn’t waiting on your doorstep to sweep you off your feet. That kind of thing only happens in romance novels.” I paused. “Or Hallmark movies.”
Maybe I should adopt a dog. Especially if I was going to stop traveling all the time.
I needed to get a place of my own and act like an actual adult, even though I had no clue what I was going to do with my life now.
It wasn’t like I had a career. Social media was all I knew.
I was tired of influencing, but what else did I have? Nothing.
Snuggling up under my blanket, I opened my book on my Kindle, getting lost in the story of a witch falling in love with a wolf shifter.
I’d already read a few chapters before my phone buzzed with a text from my best friend, Hannah.
We’d become friends in middle school and had been glued at the hip ever since.
Hannah
Hey! How’s it going? You’re back in town, right?
Emily
Yep. Got back in yesterday. The parents left a few hours ago.
Wanna go out tonight? We can go to Giddy Up like old times.
I debated saying no—that I was too comfortable under my blanket on the couch and had no desire to move. But then I thought about all the things I wanted in the future. Things I couldn’t have if I just sat at home by myself.
The idea of meeting a hot cowboy and letting loose.
You know what? Fuck it. Let’s do it. I was just going to sit here in my pajamas and read, anyway.
What about the husband?
Eh, he’s fine.
Besides, I’ve *earned* this, Em.
I laughed, just imagining my spitfire of a friend—who was happily married—telling the husband who doted on her she was going out and he didn’t have a say.
In the meantime, I shoved my feet into my boots, heading out to the barn to give my pretty girl Smokey a few treats and take her on a short ride.
Later that evening, dressed in jeans that made my ass look great, plus my favorite pair of boots, and a black top that emphasized my cleavage, I walked into Giddy Up.
It was our local cowboy-themed bar. They had line dancing nights every week, something we’d taken advantage of many times when we were younger.
The walls were decorated with various memorabilia—photos from the local rodeo, trophies, lassos and old spurs. Even a few cowboy hats graced the space.
Hannah waved to me from a high-top table, and I let out a sigh of relief.
“Em!!” She leapt up, wrapping her arms around me with a giant grin on her face. Her copper hair was in tight waves that hit below her shoulders, and she’d worn a cute long-sleeved off-the-shoulder top and dark jeans, with a pair of practical boots, her coat draped on the chair behind her.
“Hi.” I hugged her back, grinning as we pulled apart.
She’d been my best friend since forever.
I still remembered when she’d moved to town and we’d immediately bonded.
The two of us had always been close, even when she’d gone away to college and I’d somehow stumbled onto internet success after some of my content had gone viral.
It also didn’t hurt that she never treated me like a spoiled rich girl like so many other kids in this town had.
Obviously, my parents were well off—they were both top surgeons at the hospital—and the custom-built house we lived in was set on forty acres, but I didn’t like it when people assumed I was just living off my parent’s money.
After all, I had plenty of it saved up from all my brand deals over the last two years.
“God, I know I saw it all on Instagram, but I want to know everything! How was the trip? Is it weird being home now?”
I shrugged, sitting across from her. “Honestly, it feels like I haven’t been home for two years.” Though to be fair, I hadn’t really. Besides a few days here and there, I’d had a suitcase packed and a flight booked. The last time I’d been here for any length of time had been for Hunter’s wedding.
“You’ve missed so much,” she said, her eyes growing wide.
Yeah, I really had.
Especially when it felt like everyone I’d grown up with was now married and had two point five kids and the perfect little family.
The question from earlier still lingered: how had I gotten to twenty-eight still completely alone?
And how had I missed that Mason Elliott was now divorced?
“Should we get a drink?” I asked, looking at the bar. “Or are you still nursing?” Getting a little happy drunk sounded like a great way to spend my first full day at home. Though it didn’t exactly prove I was the responsible adult that I wanted my parents to see. One night wouldn’t hurt, right?
She waved me off. “I can pump and dump. It’s my first night away in forever. Anthony’s got this.”
Standing up, the two of us both walked to the bar, flagging down the bartender so we could order drinks—a whiskey sour for me, and a gin and tonic for her.
“How’s it been? You know… being a mom?” I asked her, watching him make our drinks out of the corner of my eye.
The nice thing about living in a town like this was even though it was small, and sometimes it felt like you couldn’t even go to the grocery store without running into someone you knew—it was also big enough that I didn’t know the bartender. Thank God.
Hannah let out a little sigh of happiness. “Amazing. I never knew I could love a little person this much. I mean, you were there. He was so tiny.”
I grinned. “Yeah.” There was no way I’d miss my best friend’s baby shower or being there for her when she’d given birth.
Hannah had clarified that I was absolutely getting disowned as godmother if I wasn’t there.
Luckily, the timing had worked out between brand trips.
“I’m happy for you,” I offered, an ache blooming in my chest.
It was hard to admit how desperate I was to find something like that for myself. Over the last few years, it had felt impossible. Sure, I’d dated, but my life hadn’t exactly lent itself to a long-term partner.
“You’ll find someone,” she said, with more optimism in her voice than I could muster up.
Would I? It didn’t feel like that anymore.
“I don’t know.” Looking down, I swirled the liquid in my glass.
“Sometimes it feels like that’s just not going to happen for me.
” I shook my head. “But it’s okay, really.
I have my niece and nephews.” Benjamin and Angelina’s twin boys were a year and a half now, while Hunter and Gabbi’s daughter was eight months.
“And my godson, of course.” I beamed, thinking about her chubby-cheeked baby and how the top of his head smelled like heaven.
“So, I’m fine. I’m the cool aunt, you know?
” The one who would swoop in with presents before leaving for another exotic trip.
Except… why did that life feel empty now? Why did I feel so hollow inside?
“That’s a lot of denial I hear there—” Hannah teased.
“Shut up,” I muttered. I picked up my drink, taking a long sip, when I could literally feel the energy in the bar change.
Like all at once, everyone had quieted.
“Woah,” I said, turning my head towards the door at the sight of two bulky, muscular cowboys who’d just entered. Thanks to the brims of their hats, I couldn’t quite make out their faces. “Is that—?”