Chapter Twelve #2
“I suggested he eat something small before you got here but . . .” She shook her head and gave me a pensive smile. “He wants to do this properly.”
“I want to do this too,” I whispered. “For him, and for me.”
We heard some mumbling and footsteps and turned to find Deacon and his dad coming through the house.
Deacon stopped so abruptly when he saw me that his Dad ran into him, Deacon’s smile instant and honest. “Hello. Sorry if I kept you. Dad was trying to distract me,” he said.
“Which usually means I was being insufferable.”
“Not at all,” Wayne said, giving me a look that said yes.
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “I just got here. You didn’t keep me at all.”
“We should leave,” he said, checking his watch. “We’re going to be late and I don’t like being late.”
“Me either,” I said, still smiling. I turned to Vicky. “Thank you.”
Vicky grabbed Deacon’s coat off the rack and handed it to him. “Have a good night.”
Deacon pulled his coat on, then his gloves. He opened the door for us, and we walked to my car.
“We’ll leave the front light on,” Wayne yelled out as we were getting in. He gave us a wave, and their smiling faces were the last thing we saw before they closed the door.
I started the car. “Your parents are the cutest ever.”
He buckled his seatbelt. “Cute?”
“Totally.” I buckled up and cranked the heat. “They’re so excited. It’s cute.”
He flattened down his coat and pressed his hand against his stomach as I began to drive. “I’m nervous.”
“I am too,” I told him.
“You are?”
“Sure,” I said, smiling at him as I drove. “They’re all established friends, and we’re both the new guys here. Actually, you know them better than I do. You’re a local. I’m a newbie.”
“They like you already though.”
I glanced from the road to him. “They’ll like you too. Hamish already does like you. And Jayden, from the diner.”
His brow furrowed. “You spoke to them about me? What . . . what did you say?”
I hated that his first reaction is to think it wasn’t a positive conversation. “Of course I told them about you. I told them that we’re officially dating, and that you were awesome, and how happy I was that we were on the same page now.”
He tried not to smile, and even I could see his blush from the dashboard light. “Oh.”
“I think a few nerves is a good thing,” I added. “Being excited is a positive thing, right?”
“Hmm.”
“And you know Hamish and Ren, and all the others.”
“All the gay couples.”
“Yep! How amazing is that?”
His brow furrowed as he seemed to consider this . . . “I guess . . .”
I knew his nerves were the outlier here. He wanted to do this. He was excited to do this. It was a big deal and his nervousness was expected.
“Hamish called it family,” I said. “Have you heard of the term found family before?”
Deacon shook his head.
“It’s when people find their own people to belong with. Like a family but not blood related. Because not everyone has blood family. Especially queer people.”
His mouth drew down. “Their parents didn’t accept them.”
I nodded. “Yeah. Like me and my mom. Me being gay wasn’t the entire problem—she never wanted to be a mom, I don’t think—but she could never deal with it.
And of course, then add to the fact that I’m asexual.
She could never understand why I’d call myself gay if I never experienced sexual attraction to guys.
She said there was no reason I couldn’t just say I liked women if I never intended to sleep with them. ”
He stared at me. “That’s not how it works. I’ve done a lot of reading and research since you told me, and she’s wrong. Either willfully or ignorantly, and that’s not fair to you.”
Oh my god, I could have kissed him for saying that. Instead, I raised both hands. “Exactly!”
“Please don’t take both hands off the wheel.”
I gripped the wheel again. “Sorry.” But then I grinned at him. “Thank you for saying that.”
“Driving safety is important.”
I chuckled. “Yes, it is. But I meant what you said about asexuality. But willfully ignorant sums up my mother.”
His face did a displeased thing. “I can’t understand why a mother would do that to her own child.”
I loved that he couldn’t fathom it. It told me he was loved so unconditionally by his parents, and I loved that for him. “Your parents are awesome,” I said. “You’re very lucky.”
He gave a nod. “And your aunt Ro is your found family?”
“Well, yeah, I guess. Even though we are technically family. She’s like my found mom.” I slowed down and indicated to pull into Ren and Hamish’s driveway. “Not everyone is so lucky. I think a few of the guys here tonight don’t have family, which is why this kind of Christmas dinner is important.”
He nodded again, and I could see his cogs turning in the hard set of his eyes. I pulled the car up alongside the others and cut the engine.
“Tonight’s going to be fun. But we can leave at any time. If you want to leave, just give me a sign.”
“A sign?”
“Yep. A signal that tells me you’d like to leave.”
“Such as?”
I had to think . . . “Uh . . . Tug on my sleeve. Then you don’t have to say anything, but I’ll know and we can make a run for it.”
His eyes went wide. “A run for it? I don’t think running is an appropriate social response.”
I laughed. “I didn’t mean run literally.
Because honestly, if you ever see me running, please know it’s either a dire emergency or I’m being chased by a bear.
” Then I thought about it. “Or the tickets to a queer book convention go live when I’m not in front of my computer.
Or if they release a never-seen-before J.
R. R. Tolkien book. I would one hundred percent run for that. ”
Deacon’s eyes met mine, and he smiled.
And if anything, this whole conversation had taken his mind off his nervous tummy. “Are you ready to go inside?”
He looked up at the house. It was a wooden-cabin-style rambler, the windows glowing from the warm light inside. There were Christmas decorations and colored lights along the porch, the Christmas tree visible inside the window. It looked fantastic and inviting.
Deacon’s eyes met mine and he gave a nod. “I’m ready.”