Chapter Thirteen #2
“We were talking of organizing a market day,” Hamish said.
“To get people downtown near the youth center and the bookstore, and for local producers and crafters to sell their products. Once the weather warms up a bit, that is. But maybe the vet clinic could have an adoption stall? You know how they do those photos with the dogs and cats wearing scarves or hats?”
Oh . . .
I wasn’t sure about that.
I wasn’t expecting this.
I didn’t particularly like how everyone was looking at me. I put my fork down and put my hands in my lap, trying to rein in the feelings, the emotions, the panic . . .
But then Winter slid his hand beneath the table and held my shirt sleeve at my wrist, the way I’d held his. The way he’d liked. The way I needed.
Not touching my skin, not gripping my arm or holding my hand.
The gentlest of reminders that he was there, and that it was all okay.
“It could help educate people about pet ownership,” Winter said.
“Buying puppies or kittens for a holiday gift without considering the sleepless nights, the training, the cost, only to then dump them afterwards. Believe me, I became a sudden cat dad at the worst possible time with my new business. Round-the-clock feeding, taking them to work with me.”
“The baby carrier you had them in at the Christmas tree lighting was just adorable,” Braithe said.
Conversation moved on, the focus swiftly off me, and I could breathe again. Winter let go of my shirtsleeve and gave me a reassuring smile as if he hadn’t just saved me from freaking out.
I hated that I did this.
But you didn’t freak out. You didn’t lose control.
Thanks to Winter, but still.
It gave me time to think about the market day idea though . . .
When dinner was finished and the table cleared away, Hamish and Ren served Christmas cookies with a pot of coffee. I’d kind of lost my appetite and my mood had soured a little. Not through anyone’s fault but my own. Everyone here had been so great, but I wanted to leave.
And once I had it in my head that I was leaving, it needed to happen.
“Winter, Deacon, coffee?” Ren asked.
“No, thank you,” Winter said, patting his tummy. “I’m so full. I think we’re ready to go.” He looked at me and I nodded, because how he knew I needed to leave was beyond me. “I have two little gremlins waiting for me at home that will be wondering where I am.”
I stood up from the table and ran through my manners. “Thank you so much for dinner. It was a pleasure to be here. Merry Christmas to you all.”
“Aww, you are the sweetest,” Hamish said. Then he looked at Winter. “He is just the cutest.”
“Pleasure to have you,” Ren said. “Thank you for coming.”
We went to the door and put on our boots and coats. Everyone said goodbye and waved. “Merry Christmas.”
I felt the need to say something, to fix my mistake. “I’ll speak to my dad about the market adoption idea. The decision will be his.”
“Of course,” Hamish said. “No pressure. It was just an idea. We need to take it to the city council yet.”
“Hamish needs to run for council,” Jayden said, and everyone laughed and agreed.
“Thank you again,” Winter said to Hamish and Ren. “Goodnight, all.”
“Oh, here, have this,” Hamish said, bringing over Winter’s empty dish.
“I want the recipe,” Jayden yelled as we left.
We went down the steps to his car and got in. He started the engine and adjusted the heat, and we both buckled in.
I was afraid to ask, but I needed to know . . .
“Did I ruin it?” I asked, not wanting to look at his eyes. Not wanting to see his disappointment.
“Ruin it? Deacon, no. What did you think you ruined?”
“When they asked me about the adoption stall, I—”
“No, no, Deacon, look at me.”
I did, for just a second, but had to look away.
“You were so great tonight,” he said. “Perfect, even. I’m so proud of you.”
“Proud . . .” I shook my head because that didn’t make sense.
“Absolutely. You did great.”
I swallowed hard. “I liked it. Everything was good until . . . I didn’t mean to get so . . . weird.”
He reached over and took my coat sleeve. “You weren’t weird. Tonight was fantastic.”
“You knew,” I said. “When you held my sleeve. When you smiled at me. You knew what to do. What I needed you to do.”
He smiled at me. “I needed that too.”
He what? He needed it? “You did?”
“Of course. Social gatherings are a lot. Even with the nicest people.”
I couldn’t begin to describe the relief I felt. “They are nice people. It wasn’t overwhelming like I thought it would be.”
“Did you have fun?”
I tried not to smile too big. “I did.”
Winter did a little happy dance in his seat. “I’m so happy. Look at us, being all social and stuff.”
I laughed at that. “I feel . . .” I tried to name it. Relieved. Happy. I was both of those things, but they weren’t the word I was after. “I uh . . . I’m proud of myself too.”
Winter looked at me and beamed.
I was disappointed when he pulled into my driveway. I didn’t want tonight, this feeling, to end.
He slowed to a stop out front and kept the engine running. I deduced that meant he wasn’t getting out. He turned to me, his face lit up by the dash. “I had a really great night,” he said. “It wouldn’t have been the same if you weren’t there with me.”
My throat was dry, my heart thumping. “I had a great night too. I’m glad I did this. I was nervous, but you made it all okay.”
He grinned, but then, taking a deep breath, he pulled his glove off his hand and laid it on the center console between us, palm up.
I knew what he wanted me to do.
So I took off my glove as well. My heart beat so hard it almost hurt, but I traced my fingertips across his palm, leaving them there for a second.
His hand was warm and soft, and with a bravery I didn’t know I had, I slipped my fingers between his and held his hand. Our fingers laced, my palm to his.
For half a second before I had to let go.
His eyes shot to mine and I needed to leave. “I’m going now,” I said before rushing out of the car. I raced up the steps and opened the front door, but before I closed it behind me, I saw his face in the car.
Grinning.
I shut the door and leaned against it, out of breath like I’d run a race; my heart was thrumming, my lungs needing more air.
Dad appeared in the foyer, concerned. “Deacon, is everything okay?”
And I couldn’t help it. I laughed. “Yes. Better than okay, actually.”
His smile matched mine and he nodded. “I’m happy for you, Deac. Want me to make us some hot chocolate? You can tell me all about it.”
I nodded, my heart finally calming down. “Yes.”