Chapter 16
Christian
Ihad spent the last two days deep in my feelings. But today was one of those rare occasions when my brothers, my father, and I were all off at the same time. Just because he headed up our station, my father didn’t play any games, and he didn’t give us preference over the rest of our crew.
In fact, he held Nicholas and me to stricter regulations than he did the other men. Joshua didn’t work with us at the firehouse. He worked as an ER registered nurse at the hospital three blocks from us. Yet, his hectic and demanding schedule often didn’t align with ours either.
When Joshua texted and told me that he was headed to our parents’ house to watch the game with our dad and brother, I immediately hopped out of bed, showered, and headed there too.
I didn’t have the entire day off like they did though.
I’d had most of the day off, but I was going in at eight tonight to work someone else’s shift, who I volunteered to cover for.
It was the only thing that could ail my grieving heart.
I was pissed as fuck that Angel hadn’t given me the chance to explain.
She had only heard part of the conversation, and while whatever she heard hadn’t sounded good to her, she needed to hear it in its entirety to understand the full implications of what was said.
Jeremiah had been pissed at finding out that Angel and I were kicking it, and I hadn’t given a shit about it.
While he didn’t buy the whole scenario that I was just doing it to get back at Erica, as she had told him, he was angry because he had always known that I had feelings for Angel since meeting her.
I had spoken with him yesterday after things had calmed down from the night before.
I sat on the couch, watching the game with my brothers and dad, but my mind wasn’t on the game.
I thought back to the conversation that I had with Jeremiah yesterday.
“Listen, I always knew that Angel and I weren’t meant for each other. I tried to fit a square peg into a round hole. And when that shit didn’t work like I wanted it to, I spent years trying to make her be the woman I wanted her to be, rather than accepting and appreciating her for who she was.”
“Nigga, who you telling? We all could see that. Not just Josh, Nick, and me, but your brother, Jude, and all of our boys.”
“You know what made me want to make it work even more?” he asked, looking at me.
I had gone over to his parents’ house to kick it with him and talk about what happened the night before at the ball.
“No. What?”
“The fact that I knew she was feeling you. Nobody else might have noticed it, but I did. She always got all girly and giggly whenever your ass came around. She wore shit that I told her she couldn’t wear around you, and she would stay all up in your face, asking if you wanted something to eat or drink.
She never did that shit when the others were around and you weren’t.
The worst part about that shit is that y’all seemed to get along so well.
It was like y’all got each other in ways that she and I never did. ”
“We were cool, man, but we were just friends. No matter what it may have looked like or felt like, I was never gonna mess with your girl.”
“You wouldn’t have had a choice, Chris. The way y’all were feeling each other, it was only a matter of time before one of you slipped up when you were alone.”
“Which was why I would never be alone with her. I never planned to put you, me, or her in that situation, Jay.”
He nodded and dragged his hand down his face. “Does she make you happy, big homie?”
“Hell yeah. I love that girl.”
“That’s what’s up. Then you have my blessing.”
“Didn’t ask for it, bro.”
He chuckled. “Fix your shit and treat her and her little one right. I saw pictures of her online. She’s beautiful.”
“She is. Looks just like her mama.”
“Strangely enough, she looks like you too.”
“Nigga, don’t start that shit. I told you I never disrespected you like that.”
“Yeah, I wanna believe you, but something’s off.”
“Whatever it is has nothing to do with me.”
He shook his head. “Yeah, a’ight.”
We talked some more about the baby before we changed the subject.
“Hey, knucklehead. You heard Daddy talking to you?” Nicholas asked.
I jerked my head up, noticing that the halftime report was starting.
“What?”
“Mama’s outside with a trunk full of groceries. He said come and get them. You’ve been in your feelings about something lately, and it’s got you acting like an ass,” Nicholas stated.
“Keep talking shit, and I’m ’bout to break my size fourteens off in that ass,” I quipped.
“Nigga, I will put you on your head,” he declared.
I rushed him and tackled him to the floor. Joshua jumped in like the baby brother he was, landing on both of us.
My brothers and I engaged in horseplay for a minute or so before my dad peered back into the family room and barked, “Now!” We immediately straightened up and followed his instructions.
He corralled all three of us, and we got the groceries from the car and into the house.
Once the groceries were inside, we all sat around the kitchen, grabbing things to eat while we waited for the game to start again.
“Why the long face, Son?” my mother asked as I sat at the island eating a slice of her homemade pecan bourbon cake.
“I’m good,” I mumbled.
“No, you’re not. Tell that lie to someone else.
Did you forget that I gave birth to your bigheaded, long-limbed self after twenty-nine hours of labor?
Chile, I know you better than I know myself.
Don’t tell me you’re good. Sitting there with your bottom lip all poked out, puppy dog eyes tearing up, and messing over my cake.
Boy, that cake cost me forty-four dollars to make.
Those ingredients weren’t cheap, and I only use the best.”
“I’m not crying, Ma.”
“You look like you’re about to.”
“I’m not, Ma.”
“Boy, don’t tell me. I’m your Mama, and I’ve known you better than you’ve known yourself since you got here. Having to buy that special milk for you to drink because you couldn’t take breast milk like your brother. You had digestive issues,” she stated snidely.
“Son, I suggest you tell her what’s wrong. Otherwise, you’re about to get a litany of the expenses you have incurred for us since we learned we were having you,” my father suggested wisely, holding up his mug toward me. He deliberately dipped his head and lifted his eyebrow.
I sighed and looked around the kitchen. Nicholas leaned against the counter with his legs crossed at the ankles, taking a bite from an apple, and watching me.
Joshua was raiding the refrigerator, but I knew that nigga was ear hustling from the way he had touched the leftover chicken parmesan container at least three times and put it back.
“Fine. How can you resolve a misunderstanding with your woman and make sure that she gives you a chance to explain?”
“Depends. You already created the misunderstanding?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Is she already mad at you?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Whohoohoohoo. Hmph.” She chuckled and shook her head as she moved around the kitchen.
I frowned. “That’s not helping me.”
“I didn’t say that it was, but it sounds like you’ve messed up with that perfect little angel big time.”
“I didn’t even tell you what I did yet.”
“You didn’t have to. Again, I know my son. What did you do? Did she catch you running around town with one of them little hussies? Or did you have one over your house?”
I sighed again. “None of that.”
“Then what did you do? I can’t tell you how to fix the problem unless I know the problem.”
I frowned at my dad with my lip curled up as I pointed at my mother behind her back. I mouthed to him, “See, this is why I can’t tell her anything.”
“And quit pointing at me behind my back. If you told me more, then you wouldn’t be in the trouble you’re in.”
“Maaa.” I groaned in disbelief. This woman knew everything, and I sometimes swore that she really did have eyes in the back of her head, as she had claimed to have since we were kids.
She spun around. “I’m just saying. You boys think that I’m just being nosy all the time.”
“You are,” Joshua muttered.
Mama pointed her spoon at him. “Nobody asked you. Anyway, I ask the questions that I do so that I can protect y’all. Give you some knowledge and wisdom. You better tell ’em, Bryant.”
“Kirsten, baby, I’m not in this.”
“Anyway,” she muttered, rolling her eyes.
“Chris, if you were running around on that girl with those loose women you entertain, you deserve to get kicked to the curb. And if that’s the case, leave that girl and her baby alone.
She doesn’t need that type of foolishness.
That bigheaded, no-good friend of yours took her through enough.
“I know, Ma.”
“So you gon’ tell me or not?” she demanded.
“Fine.” I huffed. I told her what happened at the ball two nights ago, and how Angel wasn’t taking my calls, ignoring my texts, and wasn’t even at home. I had driven by there repeatedly, and her car was never there.
“So, you’re in love again?” Mama asked.
“Yeah, I love Angel and Belle, and I know that I screwed up. But Ma, I cannot imagine life without them.”
My brothers and dad shook their heads.
“When will you ever learn?” Nicholas asked.
“I told you that I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Son, when you know that you’re in the wrong about something, you should tell the woman before anyone else gets a chance to or before she finds out some other way. It never ends well for you if you don’t,” my father advised.
“I didn’t do anything wrong except not tell her that Jeremiah was back. As far as the rest of it, she came in at the end of a conversation.”
“Baby, what does Angel most enjoy? What means the world to her?” Mama asked.
“Belle and her family are her world.”
“What does she like aside from that? In terms of hobbies and entertainment, I mean,” Mama clarified.
“She loves music, Christmas, and singing.”
My mother’s eyes immediately lit up, and she clapped her hands. “I’ve got the perfect idea.”
Dad and my brothers instantly groaned.
“No,” Joshua declared.
“Nope,” Nicholas stated.
“Uh-uh, you’re not dragging us into this,” Daddy stated firmly.
Mama smiled knowingly at them and asked, “Why not? This is for Chris, and he never asks us for anything. He gives back to the community and serves it faithfully.”
Dad replied, “As do we all.”
“I know, but when was the last time Chris asked us to do anything?”
Joshua answered her. “Chris didn’t ask us anything. You’re asking us.”
“I’m so confused. Who’s asking what? Because I still don’t know what’s going on,” I stated.
“I have an idea that will get her back on your good side, she’ll hear you out, and she’ll forgive you. After all, it’s the season for giving. Get it? For giving . . . forgiving.” Mama clapped and laughed at her corny joke as the rest of us groaned and shook our heads.
My father and brothers clearly were not happy with her idea.
But I listened intently as she explained what her idea was, and though I could see why my brothers and father didn’t like it, I didn’t care.
I was willing to do whatever it took to get my woman and baby back into my life.
Because I didn’t give a shit who liked it; Belle was mine, as was Angel.