6. Harrison
I stared up at the ceiling and listened to Emma breathing softly next to me. Swallowing hard, I closed my eyes.
What in the hell had happened?
We had slept together. It had been intense and unlike anything I had ever experienced before in my life. The moment it was over, I wanted to start it all over again.
Letting out a slow breath, I turned my head. Emma was sleeping on her side, facing me. Her hand was tucked up under her face and she looked so damn beautiful it stole the breath right from my lungs. Was it possible I was falling in love with her? That fast?
I focused back on the ceiling. Impossible.
The second I had invited Emma to my house, I knew what I was getting myself into.
Noel adored her, that much was clear. It also helped that she knew Emma from all the times we’ve been to the library.
But had I been thinking about Noel, or was it simply because I wanted to get to know Emma more.
Yes, I dreamt of sleeping with her. No, of fucking her.
In the library, over her desk, up against the books, in the back of my car, on the car.
Hell, I couldn’t count how many times I had dreamt of having my face between her legs.
The idea that I had been the first man to ever make her come that way made my chest feel full.
She’s mine.
My heart jerked in my chest.
She. Is. Mine. What in the hell are you thinking, Harrison?
I sat up and swung my legs around to the side of the bed before scrubbing my hands down my face.
I have a daughter. I have responsibilities. I needed to think about Noel and who I brought into her life. Was I really ready to bring someone into our world? I glanced back at Emma.
You fucked her, it’s out of your system, now it’s time to get back to reality.
The moment after I thought those words, I felt sick to my stomach. How could I cheapen what had happened between us?
“Shit,” I whispered as I made my way into the bathroom and over to the sink. I turned the cold water on and splashed my face.
After staring at myself for a few minutes, I walked back into the room and looked for my phone. I picked it up and pulled up a photo of Noel. She was my entire life. I’d known at some point she would need a mother figure, but she had my mother. But I knew that wasn’t enough, though.
My eyes moved across the room to Emma.
Emma.
I placed my hand over my chest and rubbed at the strange feeling inside as I turned and walked over to the large window that looked out over the bay.
Minutes might have passed by…or hours. I wasn’t sure. What I was sure of was I could feel the moment she was behind me when my entire body came to life.
“Harrison?”
Her voice sounded so unsure, and I hated it. I hated for one second I had made her doubt what had happened between us.
“Did you want me to call an Uber?”
Spinning around, I stared down at her. “What?”
“It’s okay if you’re regretting what happened. It won’t affect us, I promise.”
“Do you regret it?”
She pressed her lips together tightly and looked away. It would kill me if she said yes.
When she finally looked back at me, she shook her head. “No. It was one of the most amazing nights of my life.”
I reached for her hand. “It was for me, too, Em. I’m just…feeling confused, I think. I’ve got Noel to think about, and who I want to let into her life.”
Forcing a smile, she took a step back and withdrew her hand from mine. “Of course. I’m sure the woman you planned on having in your life isn’t a librarian, or one who would just up and spend the evening with you.”
“What?” I asked as I frowned down at her. “That has nothing to do with it.”
Turning on her heels, Emma started to pick up her clothes.
“Emma, what are you doing? Why are you getting dressed.”
She paused, then slowly turned to face me.
“When a man gets up and curses, then proceeds to splash his face with water before standing and gazing out a window after sex, that means one thing to me, Harrison. He regrets it.”
I shook my head and started to speak, but she held up her hand. “It’s okay. I get it. You come from an entirely different world than I do. You’re looking for someone...different.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Emma.”
She tilted her head and looked at me. Then she asked me a question that I knew if I answered truthfully, it would change everything.
“Did you, at any moment this evening, want to walk away from me? Regret for any second that we slept together, Harrison?”
I drew in a deep breath as I tried to think of the best way to answer.
Her eyes filled with tears before she blinked them back and whispered, “I have my answer.”
“Emma, it’s a bit more complicated than that.”
She gathered everything up and made her way into the bathroom. I quickly got dressed and waited for her. When the bathroom door opened, she rushed out.
“I called an Uber and they’re here, so I need to go.”
Reaching for her, she took a step back. “Like we agreed, this won’t impact the planning for the benefit dinner. From now on we can meet at the library, or the station, if that is better for you.”
“For fuck’s sake, Emma, please wait.”
Without looking back, she turned and walked out of the hotel room. The sound of the door softly clicking shut caused me to jump. It sounded as if a bomb had gone off.
My heart screamed for me to go after her, drag her back to the room and make love to her. I listened to my head that told me to let her go. That sleeping with her had been a mistake. A big one.
But maybe it was my heart that was making an even bigger mistake by watching her walk away.
T rue to her word, Emma set up the next couple of planning sessions at the library when she had asked when my days off were.
We were never alone, though. There was always another person in the room with us.
The caterer, the florist, my mother. Not to mention, anytime I called or texted her, if it wasn’t about the dinner, she never had time to talk.
The next few weeks were the same. She avoided all contact with me unless it had to do about the fundraiser. When we met with the florist to go over the table arrangements, her friend Wendy was with us. When we met to approve the final dinner menu, my mother was there.
So, I, of course, got pissed and decided two could play at that game. I had stopped bringing Noel to story hour. Instead, I had arranged for my mother to bring her.
Today I was meeting Emma back at the hotel to make sure everything was set up right.
The dinner was tonight, and Emma and my mother wanted to do one more walk-thru.
The fact that my mother had quickly become friends with Emma wasn’t helping the situation one bit.
Each time she saw her, she brought her up.
She asked why I hadn’t had Emma back over for dinner, and why I was avoiding her by having her bring Noel to story hour.
I’d given some excuse or another that clearly hadn’t appeased her, but she had let it go.
“It all looks beautiful,” Emma said as she turned in a circle. “Simple, but elegant.”
“Yes, it really does,” the hotel manager said.
“And the band did confirm with you their arrival time and set up?” Emma asked while I stood by in silence.
“They did, indeed. Are you happy with the table arrangements?” the manager asked.
Emma smiled as she looked around once again.
Small white birch trees were the centerpiece of each table with large, red and white floral balls hanging down from them.
Also hanging from the branches were small votive candles in little clear candleholders.
The candles, of course, were LED, but they would add a romantic feel to the entire ball room.
Or at least that was what Emma had said when she suggested the decorations for the tables.
“The glassware is beautiful. I love how you added the cranberries and rosemary stems as well. Thank you for setting up an example for us to see,” Emma stated with a wide smile. “The plates are beautiful as well.”
“Thank you, ma’am. I’m glad everything is to your liking.”
Emma turned and faced me and my mother. “Joyce, does everything look okay to you? Harrison, what do you think?”
My mother clapped. “I think this is going to be the best charity dinner I’ve ever attended.”
I laughed. “You helped plan it, Mom.”
“I might have added a suggestion or two, but you and Emma did all the planning.”
The sound of someone calling Emma’s name had us all turning to see Pricilla walking through the Atlantic Ballroom. “Emma, Harrison! This is stunning. You have outdone yourself, and for your first time to boot! I think I should put you in charge of this event each year, Emma.”
Emma smiled. “Thank you, Pricilla, and although I enjoyed it, I think this will be my first and last year. It has taken up too much of my time.”
Everyone looked at Emma. “You don’t want to do it next year?” Pricilla asked.
Glancing my way briefly, Emma focused back on her boss. “It was fun, and I’m hoping it turns out to be a huge success, but this isn’t for me. I enjoy being among the books and kids.”
My mother took Emma’s hand. “Well, you did an amazing job, regardless of if you decide to help plan next year’s dinner or not.”
“This year’s hasn’t even happened yet, and we’re talking about next year?
” I stated as all three women turned to look at me.
Pricilla laughed. “Don’t look so scared, Harrision.
Next year the duty will fall to another firefighter.
Although, once everyone sees how amazing this is, I’m not sure you’ll be off the hook… either of you.”
“We really should be going, we all need to get ready for this evening,” my mother said.
“Right! Right!” Pricilla said as she started to ask the hotel manager a few questions as they made their way toward the exit.
Reaching for Emma’s arm, I pulled her to a stop. “Emma, why won’t you talk to me?”
She looked up at me. “What do you mean? I do talk to you. A lot.”