8. Jared
JARED
I’d never cheated on a girl before.
Why did it feel like I was doing so now?
I locked the door to my room behind me, dropped my suitcase to the floor and slumped onto the bed, feeling exhausted. My stomach was churning with unease.
I’d been able to quell the emotion well enough since agreeing to come with Lacie on this trip, but once we’d checked in—once the receptionist assumed I was Lacie’s significant other—the nauseating warning refused to leave me alone.
My conversations with Tia blustered through my mind with the force of a windstorm. Tia wanted me to distance myself.
But this was Lacie we were talking about.
Every other person on the face of the earth got the fact that there was nothing romantic going on between us. My other girlfriends hadn’t minded Lacie being around—not after we made it microscopically clear that the two of us were only friends.
We’d only ever been friends.
We only ever would be friends.
I draped my arm over my forehead and inhaled. Tia would understand. I would explain the circumstances. She had to be accepting.
I pulled out my phone and sat up, tapping the device against my leg. The possible conversations played through my mind—unedited scenes smashed together like a TikTok video. All the reasons I’d come on this trip bombarded, vying for dominance.
Lacie had just had her heart broken. She’d nearly crumpled under the news that my friendship with her would have to change soon as well. I couldn’t crush her twice—not at Christmastime.
What kind of friend would I be if I’d let her wallow alone in her misery? I knew how hard she was trying to hold it together. More than once since we’d left Texas, I’d caught the empty expression that took over her face and the ashen gray sadness dusting over her normally vibrant green eyes.
She could have called her mom or maybe one of the women she worked with to come with her, but that hadn’t even crossed my mind at the time. Besides, if Lacie were one of the guys, this trip would be a no-brainer. Why wasn’t it that simple?
I rested my hands on my stomach and blew out a puff of air.
Because she wasn’t one of the guys.
And she wasn’t my sister.
The same pinch in my chest that always came whenever I thought about how I felt about her reared its head. Lacie was beautiful. She was driven and amazing, and she had a hold on my heart whether I wanted to admit it aloud or not.
I could tone our friendship back, if I had to. And if I wanted to preserve my sanity, to preserve my heart, I’d eventually have to. In fact, that was what we’d agreed on when I’d told her I would come.
I had promised to give her Christmas.
So I’d give her Christmas. No need to stir things unnecessarily with Tia, not when my friendship with Lacie would be changing soon.
Draping my arm over my face, I released another breath. I was glad I hadn’t ended things with Tia yet. For all I knew, Lacie would bounce back and find someone new, just like she always did.
I’d watched her do it several times now, and it killed me a little more every time.
There was only so much torture a man could take. I had to see where things would go with Tia. To give my stupid hopes a different direction.
Besides, I did like Tia.
Resolve settled into my chest, enough to let me sit up and stop dramatizing everything. I stared around the room, noticing my suitcase was halfway between the door and the bed.
It was done. I was here.
Tia could enjoy her cruise. I’d meet up with Lacie for dinner. I’d stick out this trip with her.
And then we’d cut things back.
The thought alone felt like a boulder on my chest.
* * *
Lacie
I unpacked my suitcase, placing my clothes carefully on the shelves in the small closet. I hung my purse on one of the hooks within as well, and my heart lurched at the ping of a notification from my phone.
I’d made it clear to my clients that I wasn’t working during Christmas break. For a fleeting moment, I half-hoped, half-dreaded the message was from Wyatt, but I chased the thought away as quickly as it had come. He'd been clear he was done with me.
I was so done with him.
Who else could it be?
Mom: Did you and Wyatt make it?
My eyes burned. In the rush of impulse and quick decisions, I hadn’t told her what had happened. My lower lip juddered. My trembling fingers hovered over the screen while storm clouds threatened.
Me: Here with Jared. I’ll explain later.
I didn’t want to go into it now. I couldn’t—not if I wanted to keep it together.
This was my last spree with my best friend. And even though the reason he’d come had been to comfort me, I wasn’t about to waste any time wallowing.
I could grieve later.
My unpacking was renewed with determination. I was stronger than this. I could conquer the pain of Wyatt’s rejection.
By ignoring it altogether. Because that was a healthy way to deal.
The resolution lasted at least two minutes until my fingers struck the last item in my suitcase—the small, wrapped package I’d gotten for my scumbag fiancé.
EX- fiancé.
A weak moan leaked out. I’d hoped for a romantic Christmas here with him, where we confessed the dreams we were building for the future. Where we exchanged gifts that would mean so much more because we were engaged.
But we weren’t engaged anymore. And there would be no more dreams.
Not with him.
Every perforation puncturing my throat, every tear building behind my sinuses, every quiver in my bottom lip emerged with full force. I lost all control.
So much for grieving later.
I fell to my knees, crumpling like one of those floppy, inflatable tube men whose plug had just been pulled. And I cried. I sank. I plunged, immersing myself in all the sadness Wyatt’s call had elicited.
This was pathetic. I couldn’t even make it a full day without turning into a slobbering mess. Much as I wanted to, I couldn’t ignore how badly I’d wanted things with Wyatt to work out. How badly I’d wanted my dream wedding.
Here I was, at the very inn where that event could have taken place. And I wasn’t here as a blushing bride-to-be.
I was here as a reject.
To add insult to injury, I wasn’t only a castoff from my fiancé, but from Jared, too. His reaction when Junie had suspected we were married…
I squeezed my eyes shut against the memory while more tears leaked out. Any other time, he would have slung his arm around me, planted a kiss on my temple, and lived it up for others to see. It would have been a grand joke between us, one only the two of us were in on.
But he’d sniffed. He’d stiffened. For the first time since I could remember, he’d been embarrassed to be with me.
Jared wanted to move on with Tia. He wanted to cut me out of his life.
“Stupid men,” I grumbled, trailing my hands along my thighs once I couldn’t cry any longer.
Body weary and completely drained of energy, I pushed myself up from the floor and trudged to the bathroom. I splashed some cold water on my face and cleared the black mascara smudges with some makeup remover.
“Two redos in one day,” I said, frowning at my reflection, at the puffy skin beneath my eyes. “When has that ever happened?”
I decided not to fix my makeup a third time—at least not until the red rims left my eyes.
Coming here had definitely been a mistake. I should have cancelled everything. But in the impulse of the moment, that had seemed too final. I hadn’t wanted to admit total defeat.
I didn’t want to be the kind of woman to toss everything for a guy.
But coming here was too painful.
Would Jared have spent any time with me if I’d stayed in Fort Worth? Or would he have dropped his friend-breakup threat then, too?
The idea of him ignoring me replaced my lungs with sandbags. I couldn’t breathe.
Living without Wyatt was bad enough, but Jared?
I couldn’t stay in here. I had to do something. Needing to stomp and rage, to get my lungs pumping again, I snatched the little package from my suitcase, retrieved my room key, and stormed out into the hall.
If I remembered correctly, there had been a fire burning in the fireplace downstairs. I could chuck this thing in there.
It would be the release I needed. By burning this gift, maybe I could let Wyatt go as easily. I could let go of the hurt and humiliation swirling through me for good.
The living room was empty when I reached it. A couch was situated directly across from the fireplace, where a landscape painting of a quaint cottage made the room a little cozier. The tree in the corner was laden with bunched tulle in shades of emerald and ruby.
For a fleeting moment, my attention was diverted by the table beside the couch where a series of antiques were laid out as though on display in a museum or antique store.
Teacups stacked on a stand, doilies from a time long passed, and old books were all situated around the central piece—a radio, made of warm oak that had a cherry tint to its wood. Several knobs adorned the front of the radio, and two long patches of mesh covered what I knew were speakers.
I paused. Was this the radio my clients had told her about? The radio that once belonged to Santa Claus?
I withheld a snort. This was probably something they’d picked up at an antique store and then the inn’s owners had invented and brandished the outlandish story.
Shaking away the question, I turned my back to the radio and faced the fire. Flames sparked and danced, letting off little snap and crackle noises.
The package turned into a rock in my hand. I’d gotten Wyatt a watch—a quintessential pocket timepiece like men from a different era coveted and wore on chains. It was meant to be both funny and touching because of how often he’d harped on me for caring so much about what time it was.
I’d never dared to pull a prank like I would have with Jared, so I’d hoped Wyatt would take the gift as its own kind of joke.
Wyatt’s cruel words on the phone earlier surged back in full glory. Now that I knew the mean-spirited jibes and wisecracks he’d made had been honest and from the heart rather than playful, teasing remarks, he would have hated this gift.
My resolve to burn the watch waned. I lost myself in the sight of the orange flames and the little crackling sounds they made, allowing my thoughts to turn introspective instead.
What if I was all the terrible things Wyatt had said I was?
If he’d truly been that irritated by my little quirks, he never should have proposed in the first place. Why had he? I’d thought he loved me.
How quickly he’d been able to cast me aside.
He’d let me go. I needed to do the same.
But I couldn’t burn this.
I closed my fist around the package, holding it to my chest. This watch hadn’t been cheap. What if I gave it to Jared?
Chances were, he’d left the Harry Potter chess set I’d gotten for him during our Florida trip a few months ago at his apartment. He’d said he would wait to open it until Christmas, which meant…
He wouldn’t have anything to open Christmas morning while we were here.
I shook my head. Giving this watch to him would be low. Not to mention lame.
Here, have the present I got for my two-timing ex-fiancé!
“What else am I going to do with it?” I mumbled, peering around the room.
I crossed to the Christmas tree in the corner. With a breath, I placed the small gift in with the other packages mounding around the trees’ base.
“Maybe someone who needs a little more time will come across it,” I said.
With that action, my chest felt lighter. I could breathe easier, but not by much.
There was still the matter of Jared, and somehow, that made me feel more worn out than before. I felt empty-handed and helpless, as though everything around me was spinning, and I couldn’t manage to get a grip before I tumbled and spun right along with it.
“What am I going to do?” I breathed, sounding far too desperate.
I couldn’t lose him, too. I couldn’t.
At that moment, a crackling noise came…not from the fire. But from behind me.
It pricked the hairs on the back of my neck. Even so, I glanced at the fire once more. The flames in the fireplace danced as though tousled by a non-existent breeze.
More crackling emerged from behind me, sounding like a transcript from an old recording someone had pulled up for research. I turned to look at the radio.
“There you are,” Jared said, stepping into the room.
I jumped and released a little shriek. My heart took off like a shot, and I clamped a hand to my chest.
“You scared me,” I said with a little laugh.
The corner of his lips twitched. “Happy to be of service. I stopped by your room, but?—”
More snapping sounds emerged from the radio. I held out a hand to silence him and stepped closer to the table. Jared shuffled in that direction as well until his shoulder brushed mine.
“Is that thing on?” he asked.
“Shh. Listen.”
Chills dusted over my arms. An ethereal shiver settled over the air, and I could swear sounds were coming from it. I bent for a closer listen. Jared followed suit.
Sure enough, soft music chimed from the radio’s crackling speakers.
Jared laid a hand on the radio’s wood, still staring at it. “That’s cool. How old is this thing?”
“My client said it was a hundred years old.”
He whistled and straightened. “Some serious quality manufacturing. Wish they made washers and dryers last this long.”
He added a cheeky grin to the statement, and I knew he was referring to the recent purchase his mom had just made. She’d had to buy a brand-new set after her previous washer and dryer had kicked the bucket only five years after she’d gotten them.
My smile came. I was glad to find him in a better mood than he’d been after Junie had wrongfully accused us of being married.
“Yeah. I’m amazed it still plays,” I said as shivers dusted across my arms.
Broken, jarred tones swirled around us, adding a chill and a hum through every inch of me. I shivered and moved closer to Jared’s side. I couldn’t remember much of what I’d heard about this radio other than its origins.
I wished I’d pressed for more details.
“Do you feel that?” Jared’s question was soft. He stood close enough, his breath stroked my cheek.
I trembled under the force of his dark eyes, and something warm curled in the pit of my stomach, stilling the ticking of the clock and stretching this moment between us.
This. Being with him, having him here.
Jared was the classic shoulder to cry on, but he was so much more than that, too. He was my friend, my rock. And in that moment, as our gazes collided, as his pupils dilated and his eyes drifted to take in my features—my eyes, forehead, and lips—I was transported. A hooked fish. A rope tied to a mast.
I glimpsed a different future. A different life between us. A shared life, where he was more than just a friend.
The thought stole all the air from my lungs, and I broke our glance, looking away and stepping back.
What was my problem? Change was happening between us, yes, but did I really want that change to tie us even more deeply than we already were?
Jared meant so much to me, and he loved Tia. I couldn’t go there with him. I couldn’t jeopardize anything for him with his girlfriend.
I couldn’t be the reason anyone felt what I felt about Wyatt.
“I felt something,” I admitted, finally answering his question.
His eyes were pensive and full of thought, and despite myself, I latched onto his gaze once more. He didn’t look anywhere but at me.
That glance said so much. It implied desire and conflict and question all at once. We were both heading in different directions, but that look suggested that he wanted to be wherever I was.
How could that be? I knew it wasn’t the case, and yet the stirring in my chest and the vulnerability in his countenance said otherwise.
The chiming music from the radio—strains of “Winter Wonderland”—wafted around us. A heady, heated desire came with it, luring me in, snaring me so all I wanted was Jared.
To be close to him. To have him wrap his arms around me.
As if he felt the same, he answered the call, inching closer. Like two magnets being irrevocably pulled together, my hands rested on his chest. His hands claimed my waist, and that touch spiraled through me, stealing the strength from my legs.
His heartbeat pounded against my palm. His eyes half closed as though he were drugged, and he scaled his nose across my cheek bone. That touch lit a fire inside of me. My hands fisted his shirt, and I buried my face into his neck, breathing in his musky scent.
Everything around me faded but him. Everything but this overwhelming pull, this desire to touch him. Even the spectral tones of the song drifted to a close before it met its ending.
Soon, the only sound drumming between us was the beat of my frenzied pulse. I wondered if I’d ever be able to breathe normally again. To be near him without feeling like near wasn’t enough.
I wanted him. I wanted it all. With him.
That thought made me gasp, and with that sound, the spell weaving around us shattered.
Heat from the fire, from him, swarmed over me, filling my cheeks. What were we doing?
Jared cleared his throat and took a step back. He glanced around the room as if wondering how he’d gotten here and then scraped a hand through his hair, exhaling as though he was trying to get a grip.
I couldn’t say I blamed him. What had just happened?
“Sorry, Lace,” he said, and the words killed me.
He was sorry? For what?
For holding me? For looking like he wanted to kiss me?
Had he wanted to kiss me?
“Me, too,” I grumbled, placing my hands over my cheeks. Except a tiny part of me wasn’t. A part of me wanted him to come and finish what he’d started. “What was that?”
“No idea,” he said, frowning and staring at the radio on the table.
That rush of connection between us. The tingling, chiming sweep of stardust that had overtaken me.
Was this feeling between us… This… whatever it was—crisp, unmistakable, and sensational—part of the Santa magic I’d heard about?
Not possible. The radio was supposed to be a hoax. A marketing gimmick.
“You want to go to dinner?” Jared said with a hitch in his voice.
“Dinner is a great idea,” I said, feeling shaky. “I just wanted to check out the fire for a second.”
It was only then that I took in his button-up, plaid, flannel shirt. “What are you wearing?”
He opened his arms. “Isn’t this what all guys wear in the mountains?”
My snort of laughter served to douse the remaining dregs of whatever had just come over us.
“Sure,” I said, leading him past the reception desk and regaling him with jokes about how hot both of us were.
By the time we reached the dining room, I was resolved. That moment we’d just shared? It was nothing.
Magic radios? Like Santa Claus, there was no such thing. But I was about to find out how wrong I was.