Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
brOOKS
WHATEVER YOU WANT
“ A re you okay to do this on your own?”
Charlie shakes his head, holding onto the boards with a death grip. “Please don’t leave me.”
I skate over to him, kicking snow up on him. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Why did I agree to this?” Charlie mutters.
“The better question is how have you gotten so bad at this?” I ask Charlie. “You used to be so good.”
“I can’t tell you the last time I went ice skating.” Charlie cuts a scathing glare at me.
“Then why’d you want to come?” I skate back a bit from him as he tries to push off from the wall but flails his arms the minute he lets go.
“Because you wanted to come.”
I try to hide the smile that blooms on my face. Charlie states this like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. It makes me realize just how much he does for me. There was never anything that made Charlie say no to me. No idea too big or too small. He is always in my corner for anything I want to do.
Some days, it makes me wish that I had realized Charlie had feelings for me sooner. Would I be divorced right now? Would Charlie and I be married instead?
I shake the thoughts away. It’s not like it would do me any good to think those things right now.
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
Skating up to him, I wrap my arms around him. Light snow is falling around us. The gas lamps are twinkling in the light. The laughs of people around us perforate the air.
Charlie drapes his arms across my shoulders, squeezing tight. More to steady himself, I’m guessing, because his skates start to slide under him.
“No. Wherever you are is where I want to be.”
I kiss him. Warm and sweet. I’m learning it’s one of my new favorite things. I never knew how much I could like kissing. But with Charlie? I fucking love it. I’m addicted to it.
“I feel like I should do something you want to do when we’re done.”
“Oh yeah?” There’s a glimmer in Charlie’s eyes. “Like what?”
I shrug a shoulder and start to skate backward, taking Charlie with me.
“I don’t know. I could do with spending more time in bed with you.”
A cocky smile spreads across his face. “I think you like that just as much as I do.”
“Can’t blame a guy.”
Charlie screws up his face in thought. “We have ornament painting next week at the tavern.”
“I want to do that as much as you do.” I smile back at him. “Pick something you want to do, Charlie. Whatever you want to do. ”
“Okay. I want to decorate you like a sugar cookie and lick the icing off you.”
“Sounds good.” That thought has my cock stirring in my pants. “As long as I get to lick it off you as well.”
“Strip me down and make love to me in front of the fire.”
“Are you trying to turn me on right now?”
I shift to try and quell the growing problem in my jeans.
“I want you to fuck me right here on this ice.”
“What?” That has me pulling back and looking at Charlie like he’s lost his mind.
“Just wanted to see where this ‘whatever you want, Charlie’ business ends.”
I skate back from him, breaking the connection. “I see.”
“You can’t blame me, can you?”
“Trying to test me, hmm?” I skate another circle around him. “See how much I like you?”
Charlie shakes his head as he stumbles. He reaches out for support and I catch him.
“I already know how much you like me.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“And how do you know this?”
“I just do.” The grin on Charlie’s face is smug. Like he doesn’t need to tell me how much I do like him.
Because I do. We only just started this thing, but what I’m feeling for Charlie is new and different from anything I’ve felt before.
I shouldn’t be comparing the two, but it’s hard not to when the divorce is still so fresh. Everything with Delia always felt like we had to be on. For people to see just how much we loved each other. It never felt genuine. Like we were always one-upping those around us.
With Charlie? I don’t get any of that. We’re happy just to be together. Whether it’s at home or out doing something together, there’s no pressure. Or him letting me do a lap while he’s taking a break on the edge of the ice.
It’s refreshing. And it has me feeling things I haven’t felt in years. Considering where I am in my life, it should scare me. But it doesn’t.
“Yeah,” I say. “You do.”
Leaning against the boards of the rink that sits on the outskirts of town near the Naughty Pine Tree Farm, I skate over to Charlie and rest a hand on either side of him.
“And I know I like you.”
I smile back at him, pressing closer to him. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to be so cocky.”
“So sue me; I like knowing how you feel about me.”
“I’m beginning to rethink all of this,” Charlie tells me, a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth.
“Aren’t you the jokester?”
Grabbing his hands, I pull him off the wall and take us on a slow lap of the rink. It’s better than the alternative of wanting to devour his mouth.
I find I’m becoming addicted to Charlie. It’s easy.
My best friend is probably one of the most genuine people I know. He will go out of his way to help not just me, but anyone. Charlie’s big heart is one of the reasons it was easy to say yes to him. To this thing with him.
If it was anyone else, I don’t know if I could explore this side of myself. I wouldn’t have the courage to do so. To feel safe to do so.
“Stop looking at your feet.”
Charlie’s eyes snap to mine as I guide us around a group of toddlers using orange cones to help them learn to ice skate.
“It’s easier to look down.”
“Look at me.”
Charlie’s deep brown eyes lock onto mine. I loop us around the ice. I can feel Charlie’s confidence growing as we keep moving. We’re not going fast by any means. The ice is too crowded for that. But as his hands loosen, I let him go and move to skate by his side.
Our shoulders bump as others fly by us, and I grab Charlie’s hand to keep him close. As the snow keeps falling, it gets thicker on the ice.
“Should we call it?” I ask Charlie.
“I think so. Maybe we can have some eggnog at home to warm up.”
I nod at him and we skate off toward the side through the throngs of people. Finding the bench where we left our boots, I plop down.
“Is it bad my legs are killing me?” Charlie moans as he takes his seat next to me.
“Poor baby. Do you need me to rub you down and make you feel better?”
I press a kiss to his cold cheek.
“No fair. We can’t do anything about that now.”
“I can take care of you at home.”
Charlie rests his head on my shoulder. “I like the sound of that.”
The two of us stay like this for I don’t know how long, watching the skaters go around the ice. The cool air fills my lungs and a peace settles over me.
I want every day to be like this. With Charlie. Just the two of us and Comet. There’s no pressure at all to do or be anything other than who I am. Maybe that’s why my marriage ended. I always felt like I had to be someone other than myself.
Not with Charlie.
Charlie accepts me for who I am. He always has.
“Thanks, Charlie,” I tell him. Because I don’t know if I’ve ever told him that before.
“For what?” He shifts, resting his chin on my shoulder.
“For being you. For accepting who I am. ”
“You’ve always done the same for me.”
“Through these last few months, you’ve been there for me, Charlie. I don’t know if I’d be here without you.” I press a warm kiss to his lips.
A soft look washes over Charlie’s face. One that I see more often than not when he’s looking at me. The feelings it stirs up inside me have me questioning a lot of things right now. Things I shouldn’t be questioning when we’re supposed to be taking this slow.
The way Charlie is looking at me makes me want to throw slow right out the window.
Instead, I do the sensible thing and pull back.
“C’mon. Let’s head home and get into our pjs and turn on a Christmas movie.”
Charlie grins back at me, as if he’s reading my mind. “With a fire?”
“A fire and whatever you want.”
“Perfect.”