Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Peyton
I’d been determined when I made the drive over here: I was going to get my Daddy whether the universe liked it or not. I was sick of waiting, and the unwanted guest in my house was the icing on the cake that was a shitty week.
My hand itched to snatch the soother from him. I knew that Cole wouldn’t have batted an eye if I wanted it, but a snotty nose made it hard to breathe, so I had to pick my battles on the drive over.
Built like a fucking linebacker, no one messed with Cole Davis and in turn, no one messed with me.
I also happened to be one of the few who knew he was a total teddy bear, and the kindness in those deep green eyes only confirmed it.
Dark hair curled beneath the brim of his Davis Construction cap, teasing at the thick locks that I’d love to run my hands through.
They matched the well-manicured beard that I’d spent countless nights fantasizing about feeling against my skin.
His lips curled into the crooked grin I’d been in love with for years.
Cheeks on fire, I ducked my gaze to my lap. “You don’t have to.”
“Oh, sweetheart, believe me: I want to. But this needs to be washed before it goes anywhere near your mouth.” He tossed my pacifier into the sink and hooked a finger under my chin, tipping my gaze to his.
“Second, I think we need to have a conversation, don’t you?
This is more than me taking care of you when you’re sick. ”
In spite of how much I hated that idea, I nodded, clutching my hoodie and sweatpants in my hands. I hardly had the energy to change myself, but I couldn’t push Cole’s boundaries any more than I didn’t want him to push mine.
“I’ll give you a couple minutes to change, and I’ll go make you a drink, okay?”
Another bob of my head, and he straightened to his full height. He rinsed my soother off in the sink, and gave me a wink, taking the thing with him as he backed out of the bathroom.
Damn it, he knew me too well.
Well, at least it hadn’t been a rejection.
I undid my belts and chains, peeling my distressed jeans down my legs.
When I’d gotten dressed that morning, I didn’t think I’d be hovering on the edge of Little space by the end of it.
Regression and my alternative style were a recipe for disaster when I had to pee, and doing so then nearly got messy.
I’d known for a while that I was a Little, though my regression was quite different from most the other ones I knew, which made finding a Daddy difficult.
Trying to remain grown up enough to take care of myself was hard when all I wanted to do was not think about it, and it only reminded me of how painfully single I was.
Of course there were the clubs, but I hadn’t been able to bring myself to visit them.
Walking into a place like that and finding a Daddy that fit my needs was terrifying.
But Cole Davis? Tall, broad, and rough around the edges, that man oozed Daddy energy—my kind of Daddy energy.
When he’d taken care of me a couple of weeks ago, it only solidified my feelings for him.
He was tough and rugged in all the right ways, and a total softie when he needed to be.
Part of me thought that I couldn’t find a Daddy because the right one was under my nose.
No one else had ever measured up. He was… perfect.
Too bad he’d always been off limits. The three of us were close, and I didn’t want to jeopardize that. Hell, the man had uprooted his entire life and moved to another state for us.
However, that branch falling into my house had sent me over the edge, and I needed something that my big brother couldn’t give me. I needed an escape. I needed… Cole.
Earlier in the month, the publisher I illustrated for had gone under and taken my role with it. The job had been perfect for me. I could work whenever I wanted, and all correspondence was online. It saved me from the boring nine to five that would have just made me lose my mind.
I was getting by on commission-based work, but the bills were starting to pile up. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep it up.
Unable to procrastinate any longer, I left my bag on Cole’s bed and found him in the kitchen, setting two steaming mugs on the table. “You okay?” he asked me.
I nodded, slinking into the chair across from him. “I’m sorry about springing that on you.”
“You don’t have to apologize for that, Peyton. I’m happy to take care of you.”
I blinked. “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”
He laughed, a low rumble that kickstarted my heart. “I took care of you before and I’m happy to do it again, but we have a little more control over this situation. We need to talk about limits and safewords first.”
“Ugh, you’re such a Daddy,” I groaned, grabbing for my… hot chocolate! Elated, I took my first sip…
“That’s right. Daddy knows best, doesn’t he?”
And choked on it. Heat bloomed over my cheeks. I peered at Cole’s sparkling green eyes over the edge of the mug. He knew exactly what he was doing to me. I set my cup down and wiped my mouth with my sleeve. “If I talk about it, can I have my soother back?”
“Yes.”
“Fine.”
So I launched into the story. Cole sat there, listening attentively. At some point, he abandoned his seat in favor of sitting next to me, so he could hold my hand. Tears blurred the edges of my vision, but I refused to cry anymore. God, I was sick of crying.
“Okay, sweetheart,” Cole finally said, brushing snow-sticky hair away from my face. “I think I’ve heard enough for now. You’re sure you want to do this?”
I couldn’t nod fast enough. I wanted to let go. I needed someone who could take over for a while so I didn’t need to think.
“Peyton, there’s something you should know before we do. When I play with a Little, that’s all it is: play. I don’t engage in sexual activity when someone’s in Little space.”
I let out a sigh of relief, sagging against him. “Oh, thank fuck for that.”
“Watch your mouth, little one. Tell me what you mean.”
“I-it’s the same for me,” I stammered. “Th-the sex thing.” I whispered the word like someone was hiding around the corner to scold me. Unfortunately, when Cole didn’t continue, the rambling did. “That’s not to say I don’t find you attractive. I-I—”
“It’s okay,” he interrupted, thumb brushing my cheek. “Can you tell me what your safeword is?”
“Traffic light system.”
“Thank you, baby.” Cole’s eyes had changed, softened. He looked at me like he wanted to bottle this moment up and savor it. “Finish up your drink and we’ll get you comfortable.”
Happily.
I’d known that snow would be cold, but it never clicked with me how frigid it could get.
Despite being warm and dry, the chill seeped through my skin and settled in my bones.
Cole sat beside me, absentmindedly watching the TV while I drank.
He seemed to forget about his own cup on the other side of the table, content to twirl my hair around his fingers. He could keep doing that all night.
After some time, I set the empty mug on the table and relaxed into Cole’s arms. My head was fuzzy, my belly was warm, and I was dangerously close to full Little.
As promised, Cole handed over my pacifier, which I gratefully accepted.
When he shifted, I found myself wishing he would carry me because the act of holding myself upright had become too much.
Then I was swept up into his arms. I gasped, clinging to his neck for dear life. That low chuckle rumbled his chest. “I’ve got you, sweetheart.”
He carried me down the hall and reluctantly, I let him set me on my feet when we stopped in front of a room I’d never been in. It was an understood rule in Cole’s house: That door stayed locked, no matter what.
Silently, I waited while he fished his keys out and unlocked the door. I don’t know what I expected when he pushed it open, but I wasn’t prepared for what laid in front of me.
My jaw dropped, my pacifier falling to the floor. Before I could retrieve it, Cole had it in his hand. “Go on,” he urged, nudging me forward and turning on the light. “I’ll be right back.”
I took a hesitant step into the room. It was a nursery; a Little’s paradise.
The walls were painted a serene blue, trimmed with pastel galaxy borders, with matching hand-drawn stars dancing across the paint.
Matching sheets decorated a twin bed, and books and toys lined the shelves beneath the window.
A fluffy, cozy-looking rocking chair sat in the corner and on the other wall…
Well, that was what made my heart race: a changing table; likely custom-built to accommodate an adult.
Star-patterned fabric concealed the storage space beneath, but it wasn’t hard to gather what hid behind it.
When Cole returned, I gestured to the table. “Does that mean… diapers?” I whispered the word like the walls would tell on me.
He handed over my paci and leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms over his chest. “I do have some, but that doesn’t mean you have to wear them.”
Oh, but I wanted to. I really wanted to. I’d had a box sitting in the back of my closet for months, but something about putting them on alone prevented me from even opening it. Cole was giving me the chance to not worry about anything—even using the bathroom.
Now’s your chance, Peyton…
Cheeks blazing, I nodded, and Cole’s eyes sparkled. “Would you like me to pick out your pajamas? Or should I?”
“Can you, please? I’m so tired.”
Cole gave me that lopsided grin, pushing off the door frame “Relax now, little one,” he soothed, guiding my pacifier back to my mouth. God I was quickly growing to love that move. Before I knew it, I was sitting on the changing table. “Remember your safewords, and let Daddy take it from here.”
Moving to the closet, he pulled the bi-fold doors open, revealing rows of colorful pajamas. A light blue set caught my eye and like he could read my mind, that was the one Cole selected. “Arms up.”
I obeyed, and my hoodie cleared my head. Cole eyed my binder, a hidden question in his eyes. My hesitance must have answered for me. “Promise you’ll take it off before bed?”
Relieved, I nodded. Happy with that solution, Cole slipped the pajama shirt on and helped me lie back. The shirt was soft and warm, urging me into my safe space. Cole tugged off my sweats next, setting them aside.
Uh-oh…
Instinctively, I tried to twist away and hide the damp spot from him—it truly had been a close call in the bathroom. But Cole only smiled sweetly and pulled my underwear off. “It’s okay, little one. It happens.”
He reached under the table, producing a pack of baby wipes and warming one in his hands. “Can you give me a color?”
“Green.”
Only then did Cole begin to clean me up, my eyes threatening to fall shut—until rustling had them snapping open.
Cole was unfolding the diaper and placing it under my legs.
As if it were second nature, my hips lifted and he settled the padded material under my butt.
He worked expertly, rubbing some sort of cool cream on my thighs before folding the diaper over my stomach.
As he secured it, I looked down. Teddy bears and stars danced across the front. Would they disappear if I was wet? The thought had me blushing so furiously that Cole began to laugh. “You okay?”
I nodded, face on fire. This diaper was supposed to be an experiment. I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about using it. Right?
“You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, Peyton,” Cole said, seeming to read my mind. “If you have to potty and don’t want to use the diaper, all you have to do is say so.”
Relieved, I wiggled, a contented sigh pressing around my soother. Cole worked the matching blue pajama pants over my legs and up my hips, and the soft cotton caressing my skin seemed to be my body’s signal to shut off.
Cole reached up to my face, brushing his knuckles along my cheek, something akin to adoration deepening his hunter eyes. “You look so precious, little one.”