12. Sean
TWELVE
SEAN
Lizzie was bundled up in a puffy jacket, a thick scarf, and a hat with a gigantic pompom. Her cheeks were red with the cold, and she smiled at me as I pulled up in front of her house. Then she wiggled the end of a power cord at me and made a big show of plugging it into the outdoor outlet on the side of her house.
Lights blazed on her eaves and around her windows, with lit-up icicles hanging from the gutters. She ran down the path toward me, practically skipping, and I couldn’t help but laugh in response. My window whirred as I rolled it down, leaning an arm against the frame.
“What do you think?” she asked, spinning around to take in her work. “It took me four hours.” She gazed at the lights. They reflected into her eyes, and I watched the glow of them against her skin. For a second—just a moment—all the negative memories associated with the holidays faded, and I just watched the way Lizzie’s smile lit up her face. My chest felt like a warm, crackling fire, like the coziness of a fuzzy blanket and a soft woman snuggled in the crook of my shoulder.
Then her words sank in. “You did this by yourself?”
She nodded. “Uh-huh. I work half days on Thursdays, so I figured it was the perfect time, especially with the kids hanging out with Grandma and Grandpa after school. They’re going to be so excited when they drive up.” She beamed at me. “You inspired me with your talk of surprises and happy kids.”
My heart gave a lurch. “You could have called me.”
“Weren’t you at work?”
“Well, yeah, but…” I looked at the eaves. Putting those lights up was a two-person job. “What if you’d fallen off your ladder?”
She grinned. “Don’t worry. I’ve learned to live without a big strong man in my life for this long. I can manage a few Christmas lights. Speaking of which, you ready to head out?”
I nodded. She walked around to the other side of the truck and got in, then directed me down the road and through town.
“Thanks again,” I told her. “I feel like I owe you about a dozen favors by now.”
She smiled and shook her head. “It’s my pleasure. I love Christmas tree shopping. I ended up getting the artificial one because I just couldn’t manage hauling the kids and the tree around on my own every year, then dealing with getting rid of it and cleaning up, but I miss doing this. It used to be one of my favorite holiday activities. Mikey’s going to be thrilled. You sure you didn’t want to take him along?”
I massaged the steering wheel and took the turn that Lizzie pointed out while I mulled over my answer. The truth was, I hadn’t told Mikey that I’d be going Christmas tree shopping. I hadn’t wanted to get his hopes up in case I chickened out. But all I said was, “I wanted to make sure I could still get one before making any promises.”
“Oh, there’ll be lots,” Lizzie said with a wave of her hand. “They won’t run out for weeks. We might have to make a few stops for ornaments, but we’ll manage. You really have no holiday decorations?”
I could feel her gaze on the side of my face, and for reasons beyond my reckoning, my mouth began to move. “Christmas was never a good time for me growing up. I put on a happy face when Mikey was young, but…yeah. Not really my thing. My dad… Well, before he left, he made sure the holidays were full of stress. And then my mom—you know.”
“I remember,” she said softly. “I’m sorry.”
“Thanks,” I said. My mom’s death had rocked me, and it had happened right before Christmas after a short, brutal fight with ovarian cancer. That year was a blur. Every year since then was marked by it. “Anyway, when my ex and I divorced, I agreed to give her every Christmas in our custody schedule.”
Lizzie was quiet for a beat. “I’m sorry,” she finally said.
“Don’t be. It worked out fine. I get him most of the time anyway, so it seemed like a fair trade.”
“So this is a big deal, huh?” She pointed to the parking lot where a fenced-in area had been set up with dozens of Christmas trees displayed on wooden trestles for sale.
I pulled in and found a spot, then stared at the forest of pine. “It’s a pretty big deal.”
When I met Lizzie’s gaze, her eyes were shining. “You’re a good father, Sean. I can tell by the way Mikey behaves and the way you two interact. And this? Putting your kid ahead of your own pain?” Her smile was a little sad. “I get that. Big time.”
My throat was tight. “Thanks,” I croaked with a nod. “That means a lot.”
And it did. I’d been a father for a decade, but sometimes it still felt like I was barely keeping the two of us alive. Lizzie seemed to spin a dozen plates for fun while managing her life and kids. She never broke a sweat. To have her notice and compliment my parenting…it made me want to know more about her. It made me want to let her in, so she could know more about me.
“Shall we?” she asked, smiling.
“Lead the way.”
Her jeans hugged the generous curve of her ass as she marched toward the Christmas trees, and my gaze was drawn to the movement of it. I had to stop. Even asking her for this favor had been questionable, when I was supposed to be Aaron’s oldest friend and he wouldn’t want me anywhere near his little sister.
Then again, Aaron didn’t seem to see his sister at all. In fact, he seemed to use her without really appreciating her for who she was.
The thought felt like a betrayal of my friendship with him, so I shoved it aside and followed Lizzie. She waved at the man sawing off the bottom of a tree next to a trailer, then stared at the rows of evergreen trees and took a deep breath. When she met my gaze, her smile made my chest feel lighter. It was impossible not to feel good around this woman, not to get caught up in the magic that seemed to cling to her.
“Love that smell,” she said, then clapped her glove-clad hands. “Okay. Douglas fir.” She pointed to the sign at the start of a row and tilted her head from side to side. “Hit and miss, honestly. They can be nice, but sometimes when the branches fall they have these massive gaps that you don’t expect. Real Charlie Brown kind of trees, which can be fun, but I’m guessing you’re not going for an ironic tree this year. What’s your budget?”
“Whatever it takes.”
“Dangerous words,” she said, eyes glinting, then waved me onward. She was like a tiny, curvy, holiday-fueled military general, and I felt like I’d follow her anywhere. “Fraser fir, gorgeous. Canaan, beautiful. Balsam, another option,” she announced. “Anything catch your eye?”
It all looked like a sea of green needles to me, but I took a deep breath and lifted a tree off the nearest trestle, shaking it out a little so we could get a look at its shape.
“Big gap between the branches on this side.” Lizzie made a buzzer sound then formed an X with her arms. “Next!”
I laughed and put the tree back where I’d taken it. We did the same routine half a dozen times, me displaying the trees and Lizzie proclaiming them inadequate, until I reached for a particularly tall tree that had been leaning against the fence.
I realized I was grinning when Lizzie stopped considering the tree like our lives depended on the decision and finally met my gaze. Those dark eyes of hers sparkled, and her lips curled into a witchy smile.
I was desperate to kiss her. I wasn’t even sure it was a lust-fueled urge at this point. It was just a pull in my gut that made me want to wrap my arms around her and taste her lips. I wanted to hold all that happiness and cheer and sunshine in my arms just to feel what it would be like to call her mine.
I wanted to do a whole lot more than that, and it killed me that I couldn’t. I’d never be able to. Not when the only true friend I had would kill me if I did.
My father left when I was a young teen, my mother had passed when I turned nineteen, and then I’d left Heart’s Cove and all its memories behind. I’d gotten used to being on my own—until Melody. Until I thought I’d found companionship and stability.
And look how that turned out.
So I couldn’t lose sight of the real reason I was here. I was here to reconnect with my aunts and with the one family that had been there for me through thick and thin: the Butlers. Aaron, and to a smaller extent, Kyle, Lizzie, and their parents, had made those tumultuous teenage years bearable. Indulging in some ill-conceived lust with Aaron’s little sister would put my entire support system in jeopardy. Where would I go if I torched the last stable relationship I had? How would I explain it to Mikey? How could I call myself a good father if I put my own needs ahead of the stability and community I wanted to nurture for him?
And even if it wasn’t for Aaron, Lizzie had set me up on a date with another woman. Even today, with the lights glowing on her house, she’d just reminded me that she didn’t need a man in her life. She was busy with kids and work and everything else. Who was I to bulldoze my way into her schedule? Who was I to think she even wanted me the way I wanted her?
“It’s big,” she finally said as she studied the tree I held, and I pulled my thoughts back to the task at hand.
Well. I tried. What actually came out of my mouth was, “I get that a lot.”
Her cheeks grew redder, and Lizzie let out a snort and a giggle as she shook her head. She tried to give me a stern look. “Save it for your date this weekend,” she chided.
But I didn’t want to. I wanted to hear that laugh again and again and again until the scent of evergreen trees reminded me of Lizzie instead of death and drunkenness and broken relationships.
“Here,” Lizzie said. “Let me hold it, and you take a look.”
Dutifully, I waited until she’d grabbed the trunk, and I took a few steps back to admire the choice. It was tall, but its branches were lush and had that perfect conical shape. Lizzie stood there, a hopeful expression on her face, as I walked over to the other side and inspected the back of the tree.
And the back of Lizzie. She glanced over her shoulder and arched her brows.
Dragging my gaze back to the tree, I cleared my throat. “I think that’s the one.”
“Yay!”
“You folks ready?” The man by the trailer ambled up to us and made the easiest sale of his life. He trimmed the bottom of the trunk with a few neat swipes of his hand saw, and then I hauled the tree to my truck and placed it in the bed.
Lizzie leaned against the sides of the bed and helped me tie the load down, her smile irrepressible. “Excellent choice. For a rookie, you did good.”
I grinned. “Let’s go get some ornaments.”
We went to Target, and I let Lizzie have her way with my credit card. She asked me about color schemes and decor styles, took one look at my face, and told me she’d handle it. By the time we hauled the gigantic bags full of Christmas paraphernalia to the truck, I’d almost forgotten that I hated the holiday.
As we drove back toward Heart’s Cove, I relaxed into my seat and let out a long breath. That hadn’t been so bad. And I couldn’t wait to see the look on Mikey’s face. I should’ve done this years ago, even if Melody got to spend the actual day with him. Put my son ahead of my pain, as Lizzie had said. I glanced over at her, wondering what pain she was smothering for the sake of her kids.
“I’ll set up the tree stand while you bring it inside,” Lizzie said when I pulled up to my house.
“Done.” I tossed her the keys and went to work on the ropes. A few minutes later, I was dragging a tree through the front door and raining Canaan fir needles all over my stoop and entryway. I hauled it into the living room and found Lizzie kneeling by a tree stand, her jacket stripped off to reveal a tight-fitting top that wrapped around her body and tied at the side.
My mouth watered.
From where I stood, I could see an expanse of chest that I had no business seeing. She was lush . All soft and round and bitable. All thoughts of being loyal to my best friend and giving Lizzie space fled from my mind, because there was a beautiful woman kneeling in my living room like an offering from a carnal god.
Her bra was cream and had a lace trim. I could see the way it shaped her breasts when she bent over and struggled with the tree stand, her movements making all that flesh jiggle and bounce.
I was hard. Harder than I’d been in a long, long time. Hard enough that if she glanced at my crotch, she’d probably be able to tell.
And I didn’t care, because I wanted her.
“Nearly there,” she told me, and I blinked back to myself.
Shifting the tree into the living room, I cleared my throat and averted my gaze.
Lizzie sat back as she looked up, pushing a strand of hair from her forehead. “That thing looks a lot bigger when we’re indoors.” She paused and stuck her finger up at me. “And don’t you dare make a dirty joke about that, mister.”
I was so far beyond dirty jokes, it wasn’t even funny. I managed a smile, then levered the tree to a vertical position, wincing when it scraped against the ceiling.
“Didn’t you say you had ten-foot ceilings?”
I looked up at the tree, its top branch bent against the ceiling. “I might have been wrong about that.”
Lizzie snorted. “Well, that branch is probably long and skinny enough that we can trim it and hide the evidence with the tree topper instead of sawing the base off. Let’s just get it in the stand and deal with it later.”
I nodded, unable to contribute meaningfully to the conversation because a lot of my blood was keeping my erection throbbing behind my zipper. Every time Lizzie moved, I saw a new angle of her that I wanted to touch and lick and caress. When she got closer, the scent of fir mingled with the scent of her, and blood rushed south once more.
But I managed to lift the tree into the stand.
“Okay, try to hold it straight,” she told me, directing me with her hands to angle the trunk this way and that. When she was satisfied, Lizzie slithered onto the floor on her stomach and reached for the tree stand to secure the trunk.
And I must’ve turned into some kind of degenerate piece of shit, because all I could do was stare at the way her hips moved when she shimmied her way closer to the tree. I stared at her lower back when she arched it, mesmerized by the strip of skin that became exposed when she moved. Her jeans dug into the flesh at her sides, and my throat got tight. There was a little bulge of flesh above the waistband, and all I wanted to do was put my lips to it. I wanted to grip it with my hands so I could feel that softness fill my palm while I pulled her on top of me.
Everything about her was pure sex. The way she moved. The way she was shaped. The way her clothes clung to the curves of her body.
The tree stand had three screws that needed to be tightened against the trunk to hold the tree in place. Her thighs spread slightly as she tried to reach around the trunk to get at the back of the stand for the third screw, and she propped herself up on her knees to arch her back even more. Her shirt slid down to expose another inch of back.
I wanted to take her just like this. Notch myself between those thick thighs and drive my cock inside her?—
My heart beat so hard I felt lightheaded. All I could see was that soft, round shape of her body positioned in a way that I had no business seeing.
And I should’ve looked away. I really, really should’ve.
But I couldn’t.
Her thighs were thick, and my fingers tingled with the need to trace the crease between them and the generous curve of her ass. I wanted to see just how far my hands could span across all that flesh. I wanted to feel how soft and warm she was. I wanted to spread those thighs even wider so I could run my thumbs?—
“Are you sure you’re still holding it straight? The trunk is moving.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “Sorry.”
“Almost done with the last screw. Just hold tight.”
“Yep,” I forced out through pinched lips, my eyes slicing open and immediately dropping to the shape of her. I could bend her over, just like this, and lick her until she screamed. Then when she was wet and ready and begging, I’d?—
“All done!” Lizzie called out, and I tore my gaze away from her to stare at a spot on the wall. She emerged from under the tree red-faced and smiling, her clothes and hair in disarray, looking rumpled and delicious. A quick glance told me the neckline of her sweater had dipped, revealing the lacy trim of her bra.
I was a complete depraved asshole for thinking these things when she was just trying to do a good deed. But why did she have to look so damn good while she did it?
“Let go of it and we’ll see if I did a good job.”
I did as she said because I was unable to form a coherent thought or sentence by myself, and following her instructions seemed like as good a plan as any. Stepping away from the tree, I let my gaze trace the shape of her body one last time before turning toward the tree. It was upright, though it was nowhere near straight.
“Maybe once we trim the top it’ll stop leaning so much,” Lizzie suggested, ever the optimist.
I nodded. “Yeah,” I managed, which had to be some kind of miracle performed by the synapses of my brain. Actual speech was beyond me. Most of my attention was still focused on the woman to my left. Her shoulder brushed against my arm, and a waft of her scent hit me. Functioning would be difficult for the next little while unless I got a grip on myself.
“Okay. Have you got any shears? Otherw—” A gasp tore out of Lizzie’s mouth as she threw her arms out toward the tree.
The tree was no longer just crooked—it was leaning. In fact, it was full-on falling.
And it was going to hit Lizzie in the face unless I did something about it. Acting on instinct, I knocked her arms out of the way and shoved at the tree, but those nice, full branches I’d admired in the Christmas tree yard got in my way, and the tree stand provided the perfect pivot point for the tree to slip from my grasp and continue on its mission to land on top of Lizzie.
So I changed tack. I let go of the tree and wrapped my arms around Lizzie. I cradled her head and tackled her to the ground, grunting as ten feet of Canaan fir landed across my spine.
Lizzie wheezed, spitting green needles out of her mouth.
“You okay?” I rasped.
She opened her eyes and met my gaze. My hand was still cradling the back of her head, and our faces were only two inches apart. “I’m okay. Kind of trapped.”
I grunted. “Stop wiggling.” Because her wiggling was making the tree scratch against my back, and it was also reminding me that the blood flow in my body was still undergoing some significant irregularities. She was as soft as I’d imagined, and the feel of her body beneath mine was the stuff of fantasies. My free hand was propped on the ground just above her shoulder and I had put as much distance between our bodies as possible, but we were still touching from chest to hip.
Her knees fell open and came up along my thighs as she planted her feet on the ground. “Just trying to?—”
Her hips cradled mine like they were made to hold me. The gasp that slipped from her lips was soft, and I knew she’d felt what I’d been trying to hide.
My cheeks flamed as I lifted my hips as far as they’d go, the evergreen tree brushing against my ass. “Sorry,” I rasped as I stared at her ear.
“It’s not… I’m…” She stopped talking and ceased that incessant wiggling.
I cleared my throat. “I’m, um. Yeah. Sorry.” I forced myself to look at her face.
She blinked at me once. Twice. Three times. Those soft lips parted on an inhale, and she dipped her chin. “It happens,” she said, but her voice trembled the tiniest bit.
I huffed a laugh. “Twenty-five years ago, maybe.”
“Right,” came her whisper.
We lay like that without moving for a few long moments. She didn’t move toward me—but she didn’t tell me to get off. Her eyes were wide and dark, and I lost myself in them. After a second, I lowered my hips back down and was rewarded with the feel of her trembling breath skating across my cheek.
She made the smallest movement with her hips. It was barely a twitch, could hardly qualify as a movement at all, but it sent fire racing up my spine as if she’d reached between us and grabbed my cock with her dainty, red-painted fingers.
I pressed myself into her and reveled in her trembling gasp. Her hips made another twitch, this one longer, slower. She rubbed herself against me, slowly, almost tentatively, and all I could do was respond in kind. We moved in millimeters. We breathed in silent exhalations. The heat of her blazed against me through our clothing, and all I wanted to know was how it would feel to plunge myself inside her.
Unable to resist, I ground myself against her fully. Her thighs pressed against the outside of my hips, pinning me there, and it was nearly enough to send me over the edge. I wanted her so much my vision was fuzzy around the edges. I didn’t care about the tree, or the decorations, or the fact that we were on my living room floor.
If she gave me the slightest sign, I’d have her naked and spread beneath me in an instant.
“Lizzie…” I grated—then froze when I heard a car engine outside.
Lizzie jerked under me, inhaled sharply, then shoved at my shoulders to get me off. The tree went tumbling beside us as I rolled off her, and she shimmied her way across the floor so she could stand, her chest heaving with every breath, her eyes wide as she met my gaze.
Then the front door opened, and Mikey called out, “Da-ad! I’m home!”