15. Lizzie
FIFTEEN
LIZZIE
Saturdays were always busy, with swimming lessons for both kids in the morning followed by dance for Hazel and sports for Zach in the afternoons. The baseball season was over, but Zach had signed up for indoor soccer at the insistence of one of his friends this year, which he was enjoying. I played taxi, my favorite game of all.
On this particular Saturday, I tried not to think about what was to come this evening. I dropped my kids off then ducked home to do errands and chores, including the usual seventeen metric tons of laundry, picked Hazel up, fed her, and dropped her off just in time to do the same with Zach. It was hectic up until about five o’clock, when the kids arrived home with appetites that belied their ages. I could only imagine what kind of bottomless pits their stomachs would become in a few years’ time.
An hour later, when the dishes were done and I was doing my best not to watch the clock, the doorbell rang. I took a deep, calming breath. I did not think about the Boner Incident. And if a hint of it drifted through my consciousness, I chose not to acknowledge it.
A bright, happy smile stretched my lips as I looked at myself in the hallway mirror. It came out a bit deranged, so I dropped it and tried again, turning down the wattage by about thirty percent. There. Better.
The front door hinge squeaked as I pulled it open, my just-right smile still plastered on my face. “Mikey!” I exclaimed. “Come in. The kids are in the living room.”
“Go on,” Sean said, squeezing his son’s shoulder.
Mikey didn’t hesitate. His shoes were off in a flash, and then he was hurrying down the hallway toward the sound of my children playing.
I brushed my cheek to make sure my smile was still intact, then turned to the man on my stoop. “Hi,” I said, impressed by the way my voice sounded nice and casual. That was good. I’d need to sound nice and casual when he and Laurel hit it off and started dating in earnest. But maybe it would be easier then, when these silly possibilities about me and Sean were proven to be just that: silly. The sooner he found a new girlfriend, the sooner I could put my attraction to rest. “You look nice,” I added.
Sean looked down at himself like he was surprised to find clothes on his body and he wasn’t a grown man who’d dressed and groomed himself presumably only an hour or so earlier. “Thanks,” he said. “Haven’t worn a shirt in a while.” He rubbed his jaw and gave me a half smile.
It would be a lot easier to do this if he wasn’t so dang attractive. Every time his lips tilted this way or that, my hormones went on a wild roller coaster ride.
“It suits you,” I declared, nodding. “And black is a classic color. Serious but not brooding. Very good balance to strike. The Spiderman backpack is particularly good.”
“Oh, shit.” Sean jerked and slipped the backpack off his shoulder. “Mikey’s things.”
“I figured.” My smile felt a little easier as I curled my fingers around the strap. The tips of them brushed against his warm palm, and I ignored the pitter-patter of my heart. The man was going on a date with another woman. A date I had set up. He’d probably pop a boner with her too.
“You okay?”
I glanced up to see Sean frowning at me and discovered my smile had fallen off my face and clattered to the floor. I nodded and forced myself to brighten as I picked it back up and slapped it on my mouth again. “Long day,” I explained.
He dipped his chin. “Thanks for… Thanks.”
“Of course.”
“If I’m done before Mikey goes to bed, I can stop by and pick him up.”
“And deny him the sleepover he’s so excited about?” I shook my head, my resolve firming. This man was not for me, but his son was a darling and I would do my best to be a good friend and great hostess. Sean was my brother’s best and oldest friend, and he’d be part of my life for the foreseeable future. I had to get used to being near him. I waved him off. “Just go and enjoy yourself. You’ll love Laurel. I just know the two of you will hit it off.”
“Okay.”
“Here, let me fix your collar.” Before I could stop myself, I reached up and pulled his collar out where it had folded under itself. He lifted his chin slightly as he watched me, his Adam’s apple bobbing with a swallow. The black fabric of his shirt needed smoothing on his shoulders, so my fingers went on a journey, feeling the hard, warm flesh beneath the weave of the shirt. When I finally pulled my hands away, I had a sneaking suspicion my cheeks had gone red.
“Thanks,” Sean said, and his voice sounded rough around the edges.
“Well. I’ve done all I can do.” I was getting sick of forcing smiles, but I gave him one last good one. “Have fun.”
“Call me anytime, Lizzie. If you need anything, or if Mikey?—”
“Go.” I put my hands on his shoulders and gently pushed. “We’ll be fine.”
He nodded. “Good. Good. Okay. I’ll, uh, see you later.”
“Uh-huh,” I said, and closed the door slowly but firmly. When I heard his engine roar to life, I let out a very long sigh.
Then I squared my shoulders and ignored the pang in my chest. This was for the best. Maybe if I repeated it to myself a million or so times, I’d start to believe it.