Chapter 19
LUCY
My heart swelled when I opened the gift. The necklace was so beautiful, and it meant more to me that he put so much thought into something so simple. I absolutely loved it.
I pointed to the small gift, wrapped in eco-friendly wrapping paper. A small thing I preferred to do for climate change. Sam would learn to love the small, eco-friendly changes I’d bring to the household.
I watched as he pulled at the small ribbon slowly. I’d have to get used to his quirks if this went somewhere, learn his triggers, and help him through long nights. As long as he could take over on the nights I felt less than desirable myself.
This could work if we try.
“Wow. Thank you so much,” he said with a soft edge to his tone.
The journal rested in his hand as he held it to his face to examine the design.
“I know it may be hard to speak about what you went through sometimes. I thought, maybe if you wrote it down, it would be easier to speak about it. Something I did once I filled mine was burn it. Some confessions only between myself and the universe.”
His eyes glossed over, eyes darting between me and the journal. I hadn’t expected him to say much, and that’s okay. If the journal helped, then I was happy.
“There are also two different engraved pens. I didn’t know which one to get. So, I got both.”
He inspected them with a thunderous laugh, and a smile I would remember for days appeared on his face. I couldn’t help but laugh along.
“It has the wrong rank.”
“No, it doesn’t,” I said, eyes widening like saucers. I crossed my legs, leaning forward to inspect. “There are so many types of sergeants. I just guessed.”
“And I love you for it.”
After presents, we both cleaned up, and I texted everyone their respective Merry Christmas messages.
While it was supposed to be a day away, I sat at the now-clean kitchen table to open my laptop as Sam cooked brunch.
I started to compose an apology email to the task creator, asking for a bit more time as I had a beautiful idea, and needed to bring it to life now.
Leaning back in the chair, I scoffed as Sam’s phone pinged.
A coincidence?
He finished flipping the bacon and reached for his phone, sighing as he read over a message. I was curious to know what was so funny when he turned to me with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face.
“I’ve waited this long. Go for it.”
He created the task? Sam had really been here the whole time, right under my nose, and I was in too much denial to realize. It may not have been noticed too much over the weekend, but he’d been giving me small clues over the last year, and I had thought they were all Jack this whole time.
The random flowers at work, Orchids to be exact. The notes on the windshield of my car were a bit creepy. The way ‘I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing’ by Aerosmith would conveniently play when I would visit my brother, and he blamed it on his phone connecting it to some Bluetooth system in the house.
A grin stretched across my face as I closed my laptop and moved to the cabinets to help set the table.
“I could get used to this, you know,” I said lovingly, handing him a fork. “You and me. Mornings like this. If that's something that you would want.”
Sam placed the fork on the counter, and I screeched as he hooked his arms under my knees, lifting me onto the counter.
His eyes studied mine, and my heart tightened, waiting for his response.
My shoulders went rigid when his eyes refused to leave mine, all but forgetting the bacon that sizzled in the pan next to us.
Placing his forehead against mine, he released a long sigh of relief. “It’s all I have wanted since we were in college. Those nights of hope really got me through, and they were the reason I survived hell. The chance that we could have the life we wanted one day makes all the pain worth it.”
My palm rested against the side of his face, staring at his lips as he leaned forward to meet mine lovingly. “Please don’t leave again.”
“I don’t plan to, Lu. You’re my person, but we need to go slow. You just left Jack, and I’m–I still got some stuff to work through.”
His eyes were red with impending tears, and he shied away from me. “Hey, don’t turn away from me. Crying isn’t weak. You are not weak. We will do this together.”
“I will spend the rest of my life making sure you feel loved. Always. It’s always been you. Even though I don’t deserve it, Lu…I hope you love me as much as I love you.”
My sweaty palms ran across my leggings as I tried to do something, say anything, when a thought ran across my brain. “My love for you was never the issue, Sam. It was trust. I need your actions to match your words more than ever.”
His chest heaved, and a burning smell lingered around us, the bacon forgotten. He sprang into action, flipping the knob of the stove off and moving the pan off the hot burner with a grumble.
“Takeout,” I suggested with a small wink.
“Let’s do it. I’ve been craving Sushi.”
We had a long way to go, both of us. I knew if we put the effort into healing, to stand on our own while growing together, nothing could stop us.