Chapter 8
EIGHT
Burk
It’s taking every ounce of self-control I have not to kiss her. From the moment I handed off the poinsettia and she smiled in appreciation; I’ve been fighting a mental battle to remain gentlemanly and respectful. I want to kiss her, and I want it more than I want my next breath of air.
“Oh my God,” I blurt out, pulling a familiar ornament out of the last tote of holiday decorations.
Joy’s face blushes dark as she bites her bottom lip and looks away.
“You still have it.” It’s not a question. It can’t be. The proof is in my hand.
I stare down at the handmade ornament, and I’m transported right back to the day I gave it to her.
She hadn’t been feeling well and missed two days of school.
On the third day, a Saturday, I was working with my dad and uncle at the tree farm and went to the craft station to see if they needed anything.
They were helping kids make popsicle stick ornaments, and I decided I needed to make one for Joy.
I chose the reindeer design, which was really just an upside-down triangle with some pipe cleaner antlers, two googly eyes, and a red pom-pom for the nose.
I took extra time making sure it was proportionally correct and even adding some silver glitter glue sparkles around the nose because I knew Joy would love it.
And when I handed it to her that Monday she returned to school? She hugged that reindeer to her chest and said it was the best reindeer ornament she’d ever seen and would keep it forever.
I had forgotten all about this damn reindeer…until now.
“Well, yeah.”
I look up from the gift I had made her when I was eight or nine years old and stumble to find the right words. “You did say you’d keep it forever.”
She flashes a sweet smile. “I did, and I will. It was the best gift to get after having the stomach flu for three or four days.”
I hand it over to her and watch as she takes the first ornament to the tree and hangs it right in the middle at shoulder level. “I feel like I can slay dragons now. That’s prime placement, Easy-Bake.”
“It is, but now I need to move it because your head is swelling and there’s no room for that here, Burkey Turkey.”
I bark out a laugh and make my move as she reaches for the ornament, playfully ready to move it to a new position.
Wrapping my hands around her wrists gently, I pull her back, making sure my reindeer stays right where it is.
Joy wiggles and twists her arms to try to dislodge my hold.
All that seems to do is brush her perfect ass against my groin.
Instinctively, I wrap my arms around her frame and pull her back against my chest. Her back presses to my chest, and a wave of desire rushes through my veins. I can feel my cock getting hard, and even though I should put some distance between us, I can’t seem to make myself move.
Joy holds completely still, her body pressed firmly against mine.
She breathes in deeply and slowly lets it out.
If she can feel my growing erection, she doesn’t let on, but honestly, there’s no way she can miss it.
It’s not likely I smuggled a baseball bat into the apartment, and if I did, she definitely would have seen it.
Holding her against my chest feels…right.
Should it?
I’m not sure, but I don’t hate it. Joy has always been my friend, but now, all I want to do is kiss her lips and get very un-friendly, if you know what I mean. Or would that be too friendly? Hell if I know, but I crave more from this woman than I’ve ever needed before.
Just as I’m trying to figure out how to casually get us out of this position we’re in, she starts to turn.
I go to drop my arms but pause when I feel hers wrap around my lower back.
Now we’re standing chest to chest, and I can see the rapid rise and fall of hers as she greedily sucks in shallow breaths.
A shiver sweeps through her. “Are you cold?”
Slowly, she shakes her head, keeping those mesmerizing eyes locked on mine.
My throat is thick, and it’s suddenly hard to breathe with her in my arms like this. It’s comfortable and familiar in a way I’ve never experienced, and frankly, I don’t want to stop.
I clear my throat and decide to man up and ask the burning question. “Is it weird I want to kiss you?”
“No,” she replies softly, her eyelashes seeming to flutter as she closes her eyes for a brief moment. “If I’m being honest, I’ve been hoping you’d kiss me since you walked in the door.”
My chest seems to swell with excitement as my eyes zero in on her mouth. Her tongue slips out and slides along her plump lips, ensuring all blood in my body starts to move south of the beltline.
I ignore the way my pants feel a little too tight in the crotch area and just submerge myself in this moment. It probably sounds juvenile or silly, but everything around me fades away. The holiday music, the twinkling lights of Joy’s tree, everything. The only thing left is us. Together.
The moment my lips brush against hers, gentle and slightly hesitant, I realize instantly this isn’t just any kiss.
The mere touch of our lips together is like a lightning strike, a hard punch to the solar plexus.
It steals my breath, my sanity, and every bit of composure I have to keep this in check.
First kisses should be PG, but what I’m feeling is on the complete opposite on the rating scale.
Joy mewls against my lips and opens her mouth. The moment she does, my tongue slides in, tasting her for the first time. She tastes sweet, like sugar and spice, and I’m certain I’ll never get enough of her.
Her hands grip the back of my hoodie, as if anchoring herself to me. As I gently deepen the kiss, my hands travel to her neck, my fingers sliding up into her hair. It’s just as silky and soft as I imagined, and suddenly, all I can envision is seeing that hair splayed across a white pillowcase.
Pushing those images from my brain, I slow the kiss and pull back, watching the pure bliss as she smiles.
Her eyes are still closed, and it’s as if she’s replaying every moment of our first kiss in her head.
Yes, first kiss, because now that I’ve had a taste, there’s no way I won’t want to kiss her every chance I get.
Joy clears her throat and opens her eyes. They’re still glossy as she murmurs, “I wasn’t expecting that.”
I don’t have to ask her to elaborate. “I wasn’t either.”
Her cheeks darken as she gives me a shy grin. “I liked it.”
“Me too,” I confess, already replaying it in my own mind.
With Herculean strength, I release my hold on her and take a step back. If I were to look down, I’m sure she’d be able to tell just how much that kiss affected me, so I quickly start running math stats through my head, trying to curb my erection.
“So, what do you say we finish this masterpiece?” I ask, glancing over at her tree.
A wide smile spreads across her face. “Let’s do it.”
Those three words don’t exactly help the problem I’m having in my pants, but I somehow manage to not maul her and show her exactly what I’m dreaming about if we were to do it.
She hands over a few more handmade ornaments, and we get to work.
“Did Mr. James get back into his classroom?” I ask, sitting back and smiling from ear to ear as she recounts a story from her English class freshman year.
“He did, but only because he had to do the walk of shame to the front office and tell them he somehow locked himself out of his classroom.”
I shake my head, putting as many faces with the names she gives me as she shares stories from her time in high school after I left for the East Coast. “Who actually locked him out?”
Joy shifts in her seat. “Eli.”
Of course he did. Eli was popular and everyone loved him, but I found him to be the biggest jerk in our class. “Should have guessed.”
She gives me a knowing grin, and I already know what I’m going to ask her. “So…I might have heard something. About you and Eli.”
She gives me a slow nod. I can tell by the look on her face, he’s not her favorite topic of conversation, but she doesn’t shy away from the subject. “Yeah, that was…a mistake? No, I can’t really say that because I learned a lot through that relationship.”
“How so?” I ask.
“Well, I realized I wanted to be with someone who values my time and company. Who enjoys a night in, sitting and watching our favorite shows just as much as going out and hanging with friends. Oh, and someone who doesn’t cheat on me.”
A wave of anger washes over me as her words sink in. “What a fucking douche.”
She snorts a laugh and nods in agreement. “That he is.” After a moment, she continues, “We were in very different places in our lives. Eli was always the life of the party and wanted to go out. All the time. I was starting my bakery, so my hours didn’t fit his schedule well.”
That’s horseshit. He should have gone out of his way to support her and her new business venture, and that included finding the time to be with her during her restricted hours.
“Well, I actually prefer nights in over nights out,” I find myself saying, earning me another one of her breathtaking smiles.
“Yeah?”
“Yep. And I’d never cheat. Only a real asshole does that. He’s definitely on Santa’s naughty list for the rest of his life.”
She giggles and nods before sobering. “Totally. Funny, though, both my sister and I found cheaters.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, she was engaged to Andrew Detweiler before she reconnected with John. He cheated on her with the funeral home’s office assistance, who was like eight years older than him, married, and had three kids.”
My mouth drops open. “Jesus.”
“Yep,” Joy confirms, taking a sip of her eggnog. “Eli and I had only been dating about a year. He apparently was very friendly with one of the bartenders at the place he liked to hang out, if you know what I mean.”
“Unfortunately, I know exactly what you mean,” I mutter, wishing the jerk was standing in front of me so I could punch him in the face for being such a douche. “You’re better off.”