Chapter 2
GRETCHEN
I stop as I step inside the house, the silence putting me instantly on alert.
Normally, there's noise from Gavin's video games or a movie he's watching.
There have been so many nights I get home from work, wishing for a moment of quiet, only to be overwhelmed by the sheer noise that's part of raising an almost teenage boy.
And what I wouldn't give for even a little bit of that noise right now.
I throw my hat and gloves onto the couch, hurrying through the small rooms, turning on lights and calling out his name. Hearing nothing in return.
My breath starts to come in ragged pants as panic threatens, and I wish again that we had the money to buy him a phone. Just so I can get in touch with him instead of having to go hunting for him.
“Please, please, please,” I whisper to myself, barely holding back the first rush of tears. “Please let him be all right.”
I brace my hand against the casing of his bedroom door, looking for any hint of where he might have gone.
He'd asked if we were going to spend the day together to start his school break, but I'd had the chance to take on an extra shift, which meant a little more money for our budget this month.
A little extra that made buying Gavin a present more possible.
My pulse pounding in my ears, I almost miss the hint of sound coming from the front of the house. I stumble as I turn, catching myself against the wall, and almost faint when I hear the happy sound of Gavin's laugh. A sound I haven't heard often lately.
As I enter the living room, I'm stunned into stillness by the sight of my brother with a wide smile on his face as he shakes hands with a broad-shouldered man standing just inside the front door.
“Gretchen,” shrieks Gavin when he spots me. “This is Cooke. He knows all about business and finance, and he likes old muscle cars, too.”
“I thought you were working on a project with a friend from school today?” The fear I'd felt moments ago morphs into anger that I worried at all. “Some joint science project you both wanted to get an early start on during the break?”
Guilt flashes across his face for an instant, and if we didn't look so much alike, I probably wouldn't have even recognized the look. But we do, and I made a promise to keep him safe. To help him grow up and avoid the pitfalls no one else in our family seemed capable of dodging.
“Why don't you go get ready for dinner?” I soften my voice, taking the sting out of it as much as I can. After all, he didn't mean to scare me to death.
“Oh, um, Cooke bought me burgers on the way home.” Gavin's eyes are shining, but not with happiness now. It's tears I can see building up in them, and my heart catches at the sight. “I'd have brought home some for you, but I thought you'd still be at work.”
“It's all right. I'm not that hungry, really. Just go ahead and take your shower. We can talk more when you're ready for bed.”
He says goodbye to Cooke and bumps knuckles with him, then walks past me toward his room. At the last second, he reverses course and throws his arms around my waist. “Sorry if I scared you, Gretch.”
I hug him back and a lump fills my throat as emotion swells up in my chest. This is why I said yes when the child advocate called to ask if I'd agree to be my brother's guardian. For moments like these. When it's the two of us, and he doesn't doubt that he's loved.
“I'm sorry if I sounded mad. You're right, I was just scared.”
He releases me and waves to his friend once more, then disappears down the hall to his room. I wait until I hear his door close before turning my attention to the man still standing in my home.
“You wouldn't have to worry so much if he had a phone, you know. He could text you, tell you where he's at, who he's with. I bet you could even have one of those tracking apps that shares his location with you.”
I bristle at what sounds like a gruff reprimand from someone I've only just met. “Thanks for the advice, but phones aren't exactly cheap, you know.”
He looks around the room, and I wish I could take the words back and just send him on his way.
Our house is clean, but it's also nothing fancy.
Fact is that the rent is cheap and it's not far from my work or Gavin's school.
The few Christmas decorations we have up are old ones I made for my apartment, and I haven't had time to do much more.
It's one of the things I'm looking forward to doing with Gavin when I have a few days off.
We face off, and I try not to notice how big he is. It's like he takes up all the space in my small living room and reminds me of how tiny this place is.
“He's a good kid.” His voice is rough, like he doesn't use it much, and I get the very clear impression that he doesn't mince words. “Don't be too hard on him.”
I lift my chin, folding my arms across my chest. “Thank you for the parenting advice, but considering I don't know anything about you, I'm going to opt to do what I think is best for him. He can't afford to get into trouble right now.”
“Can anyone really ever afford trouble?”
“If you must know, yes, some people can. We aren't those people.”
His lips turn down, and he opens his mouth, as if he has more free advice he wants to dispense. I'm relieved when he seems to think better of it, and only says, “Have a good night, then.”
I simply nod and then he leaves, the door shutting solidly behind him. It's just me and Gavin once again.
Like it's supposed to be.
Why does that make me so sad?