Chapter 8 Gretchen
GRETCHEN
It's later than I thought. We'd been having such a good time that I hadn't paid any attention to the clock. Or the weather. The wind is howling now, and flakes are flying. It's difficult to see very far with the blowing snow, and soon my brother and Cooke have disappeared.
We'd been having so much fun, and it was nice to see Gavin happy. I wasn't sure that making snowflakes would still be something he actually wanted to do, but he'd proven me wrong.
I glance into the night one more time, then turn back into the house and pull the door shut against the wind.
My own phone lends me enough light to see.
Needing to do something while they're out there, I go down the stairs to the small storage room in the basement and slide the Christmas tree box out onto the landing.
Between building a fire and setting up the tree, Gavin will be too distracted to worry about the weather.
I drag the box into the corner of the living room and then head back down to get the decorations. We don't have a lot, but it's a start. A few ornaments, lights that won't work until we have power back, but it's something to make him smile.
And he's smiling around Cooke. The big man is someone I can't quite figure out. Watching him with Gavin, he seems kind, answering whatever questions my brother comes up with. Quiet, though, and it's tinged with loneliness, I think. It may be that he and Gavin are good for each other right now.
The back door bangs open, and a whirl of cold air follows the two inside. Their arms are full of wood, and Cooke kicks the door shut behind him. Flakes of snow cover their shoulders, and I rush over, helping them to unload the firewood quickly, and then dust off their coats.
“It's cold out there,” says Gavin, shaking his hands out as I peel the gloves off him.
“Well, once we get a fire going, you're going to be warmer than you want to be, I'm sure.” I give him a confident grin and then point over to the box in the corner. “Plus, I brought up the Christmas tree. So we can finally set that up, too.”
“Finally!” Seeing the excitement on his face makes me happy. He's too young to carry the weight of responsibility like he does. I've tried to do what I can to reassure him that we'll be all right, but it's not often I get to see him look like the kid he still is.
We crowd around and watch as Cooke methodically places the logs in the fireplace, and then uses the stick lighter someone had left in the kitchen junk drawer before we moved in.
Gavin and I watch as the flame catches and spreads.
Heat washes out toward us and there's no mistaking that Gavin is impressed.
He asks question after question, but Cooke just answers them all, demonstrating his technique on the hearth and encouraging my brother to try setting the logs in place himself.
“Next time we're stranded without power, you'll be the one in charge of the fire,” I say, handing Gavin one more log to add to the top.
He's biting his lip, a sign that he's concentrating, and I curl my hands in my lap, so I don't muss his hair. He's at the age where he doesn't want his sister doing those kinds of things, even though it's just my way of showing how much I love him. He's my baby brother, after all.
“Can we start on the tree now?” He doesn't wait for me to agree, just starts over to where the box is resting on the floor. “Cooke, you can help us too.”
I'm watching him, so I don't miss the way he almost flinches at the invitation. He busies himself with stacking the rest of the logs so they're easy to reach when we need to add them to the fire.
“I think this is the kind of thing that's best for you and Gretchen to do together. It's a family sort of thing.”
“You're more than welcome to join us,” I say, stopping him as he moves to get up. “And it's probably not safe for you to drive right now. You could hardly see out there. It doesn't sound like it's gotten any better.”
He looks between us, and there's a yearning in his eyes that I can't mistake. As if he wants to be part of this but isn't sure how to begin.
“You and Gavin can start by laying out each of the sections. Then we'll assemble it. It fits perfectly in this corner.”
I leave the two of them working side by side in the warm light of the fireplace.
There's not much I can make until the power comes back on, but snacks are always a good idea when you're living with a boy Gavin's age.
I find the extra bag of popcorn I got at the store a couple days ago and open it up.
Pouring half into a bowl, I carry it into the living room and set it down within easy reach of all of us.
The tree comes together easily with the three of us working on it. With a big smile on his face, Gavin stands back to admire it.
“This looks great. Where did you find it?”
I shrug but I know I'm unable to hide how pleased I am by his compliment. “At a thrift store. They had it in the clearance aisle, if you can believe that. Maybe because some of the bristles on the branches are missing or something. Just seemed like it would be the right fit for us.”
I hand Gavin the box of ornaments and he dives in, pulling each one out and examining it before deciding where it should go on the tree. The few we have from our childhood, he points out to Cooke, giving him a detailed history.
When the box is empty, he yawns. “Why don't you go get ready for bed. We can set up your mattress in here. With the fireplace going and some blankets, you'll be warm enough until the power comes back on.”
He darts a look between me and Cooke. “Will you let Cooke stay here?” I can tell he's worried about my answer. Cooke, though, looks like he plans to automatically object to the suggestion.
“If it's not safe for him to drive, then of course he can stay.” I eye the small couch speculatively. It's not nearly long enough for a man his height, but we can figure something out.
Relieved, Gavin gives me a hug, then takes my phone and uses its light to navigate through the darkness to his room and bathroom.
“I appreciate the thought, Gretchen, but I'm sure I can make it home.” His voice is gravelly low, and it does something to my insides.
Making my stomach flip. The warm light from the fireplace bathes us in a rosy glow, and I don't want to question the tension that springs into place between us.
He's been nothing but kind to us both so far. I'm going to choose to trust that.
“I'd worry about you driving. So would Gavin. And you seem like the type to worry about us keeping the fire going and staying warm until the power comes back on. No point in all of us being worried when the simple solution is for everybody to get a good night's sleep.”
I look him fully in the face then and catch a glint of hunger in his gaze.
“Thank you, by the way. Because of you, Gavin's had more fun in the last two days than I've seen since we moved here. Seeing him smile makes me happier than you probably realize. The least I can do is offer you a safe place to sleep.”
The tension in his shoulders softens and his jaw relaxes at that. His eyes stay locked on mine, though, and I'm not sure what he'll do next.
Say no and walk out the door?
Say yes and stay?
My heart speeds up, wondering what choice he'll make.
Finally, he smiles. It's a small one, a crack in his facade. It feels a little like victory.
“Okay, then. I'll stay for tonight.”