Chapter 4 #4
Casey: Did he immediately pin you against the wall and kiss you?
I blinked at the phone as an errant image of Easton’s lips filled my head. Followed by his perfect dick.
Me: Hey…none of that. This is the exact opposite direction for how this convo should be going. I’m currently in my childhood treehouse in the backyard, hiding like a rat because he’s in my house right now.
Riley: I don’t know…sounds like against the wall is exactly where this conversation is supposed to be going.
Me: …
Me: The problem is that he’s hotter.
Casey: Not seeing the problem, Nat. Were you hoping that they’d been putting makeup over new face warts he’d developed since you last saw him?
I tried to picture that for a second, but it was impossible because the man was hotter than Hades.
Me: Well, yes.
Riley: Someone send me a pic. Every time I try to look him up, Jace puts his hands over my eyes and confiscates my phone.
A second later…
Riley: Do not send my flutter muffin a pic. This is Jace.
Casey: Like we couldn’t tell.
Casey: Moral of the story. Maybe you should jump your hot ex’s bones. Get him out of your system.
Me: Who are you and what has Parker Davis done to you?
Me: Because I kind of like it.
Riley: Phew. I’m back. I also think you should jump your hot ex’s bones. And so does Ophelia.
Me: NOT HAPPENING.
Casey: Ok, well what’s the plan?
Me: Plan? I don’t have a plan. I’m hiding in a treehouse in the freezing cold, texting you guys.
Casey: Well, you can’t stay up there forever.
Me: Watch me.
Riley: You’re going to be fine. You’ve handled worse. Remember that time Jace accidentally set your kitchen on fire?
Me: How is this relevant?
Riley: It’s not. But you survived that, so you’ll survive this.
Me: If only that made any sense.
Snorting, I leaned my head back against the wall, the knot in my chest loosening just a little. I was Natalie Bennett. I could survive anything. Even Easton .
Maybe.
EASTON
Was I having a heart attack? Because that’s what it felt like.
As I hovered at the entry of Natalie’s house—a place that was almost as familiar as mine was growing up—it was all I could do not to lose my shit completely.
My pulse was hammering, my hands slightly shaking…
and it wasn’t because I was nervous to be Levi’s best man.
It was because I’d just seen the love of my existence fall out a fucking window.
And I’d never wanted to catch someone so badly in my entire life.
It was like time slowed the second I laid eyes on her again.
And yeah, she was covered in leaves, cursing under her breath, and her hair looked like it had been in a battle with a squirrel—but I’d never seen anything so fucking beautiful.
Even when she was trying to disappear into a bush, she somehow managed to look like the center of the universe.
I’d never felt like acting was hard until now.
I felt dazed. Hungover. Not the kind that came from too many drinks, but the kind that came from too many emotions hitting you all at once. She was here. Natalie.
My Natalie.
She was real, not just some dream I kept replaying in my head every night for almost two years. Not pictures that I’d stared at until it felt like my eyes were going to bleed out.
And she was perfect. More than perfect.
The second I saw her, it was like someone had punched me in the gut.
She was even prettier than she used to be…
How was that even possible? She had that same wild energy in her eyes, the same way she carried herself, like the whole world could either worship her or go to hell.
But there was something new, to o. A confidence that hadn’t been there before. It made her dangerous.
I was already a fucking goner, so it really wasn’t fair for her to be even better than I remembered.
I winced as I adjusted my dick, wondering how I was going to walk into her house, with her parents inside, when my dick was trying to break through my jeans.
My need for her was painful…like I’d been dropped back into high school, unable to think straight around her because I couldn’t wait to get in her pants.
I’d kept waiting for the moment when I’d stop missing her.
When I’d wake up and not feel the need to check her socials, or scroll through old photos on my phone like some lovesick loser.
But that moment never came. No matter how many auditions I booked or how many flashing cameras I faced, she was still the only person I ever wanted to see at the end of the day.
And now that I was finally here, finally back, I felt like I was on the edge of a cliff, hoping like hell that when I jumped, she’d be there to catch me.
The only way to survive was to remind my dick that our sabbatical was almost over.
Almost two fucking years.
I was pathetic—or at least that’s what my friends all said. I hadn’t been with anyone since she’d walked away.
I’d tried, and I probably had a whole bunch of rumors out there about me having erectile dysfunction or not liking women because my dick took one look at someone else and…completely stopped working.
The only time I could get it up had been if I was thinking about her, or looking at a picture of her, or…staring at her.
My friends didn’t understand, though. My dick knew something they didn’t.
No one ever could have compared to her. Not even close.
Think of bananas , I coached myself as I willed my dick back in my pants. Nothing could get me limper than that disgusting fruit. A few more seconds…
The door flew open, and there was Natalie’s mom, Emily. “Easton!” she cried, pulling me into a warm hug.
Fuck, I kept my hips far, far away, but evidently a mom hug had the same effect as bananas because I was blissfully, thankfully, limp as a fish.
She released me from her boa constrictor hug and squeezed my shoulders for a second before taking a step back. “It’s good to see you,” she told me, and I could tell she meant it. And fuck, she looked like she was about to cry.
Me too , Mrs . Bennett . Me too . I’d thought I’d prepared myself for what this was going to be like, coming back here, but evidently that hadn’t actually been possible.
I followed her inside, still trying to get a grip on myself. Levi came around the corner, greeting me with a grin and a clap on the back. “About time, man,” he said. “Thought you got lost, Mr. Hollywood.”
“Better late than never,” I said, proud at how normal and steady my voice sounded.
He grinned knowingly at me, well aware that it was killing me to be in here—without her.
Levi had been one of the only friends I’d kept in touch with after leaving town, and unfortunately for him, he’d also been my sounding board for how miserable I was without Natalie.
Possibly every time I got drunk. Which was quite often in the early days after she’d broken up with me.
The rest of Natalie’s family was gathered in the kitchen, and I tried to be my most charming self—after all, these people were going to be my family again in the near future if I played my cards right.
My eyes locked with Natalie’s grandmother, MeMaw, and I winced. Her eyes had taken on a glint that was half bat-crazy and half furious. I knew what that was all about. I’d come over the day after Nat had broken up with me, and MeMaw had met me at the front door .
I was on her porch before the sun had fully risen , still wearing the same hoodie from the night before . My hands felt clammy , and my heart pounded like it was in my throat . I’d been up all night , going over all the words I was going to say to change her mind .
I raised my fist to knock , but before my knuckles hit the door , it flew open .
MeMaw stood there , dressed in some kind of oversized sweatshirt with a glittery Hot Girl Shit winking from the front , and large hoop earrings that jingled when she moved.
She squinted at me from beneath her red glasses like she’d caught me trying to steal the family silver .
“ Easton Maddox ,” she said , her southern drawl as sharp as a whip . “ What on God’s green earth are you doing skulking around my granddaughter’s porch at this hour ?”
“ I need to talk to her ,” I said , trying to push past her , but MeMaw stepped squarely in my path . For someone so small , she had the stance of a linebacker .
“ She doesn’t want to talk to you right now , sugar ,” she said, crossing her arms and tilting her head like she had all the time in the world . “ But I do . Take a walk with me .”
I didn’t have a choice . MeMaw had that way about her — like she’d already decided what you were going to do before you did it . She grabbed her coat and stepped out onto the porch , nodding toward the dirt road that led toward the woods .
We walked in silence for a few minutes , her pace unhurried , mine stiff with nerves . My chest felt like it was caving in , and I wanted to break the quiet , to plead my case .
But MeMaw spoke first . “ You love her, don’t you ?”
The words hit me like a punch to the gut . “ Of course I do ,” I said, my voice breaking . “ I’ve loved her since the second I saw her .”
MeMaw stopped and turned to face me , her bright red glasses catching the light . “ I believe you , darlin ’. But sometimes loving someone means letting them fly .”
“ She doesn’t want to fly ,” I said , my frustration boiling over . “ She’s just scared .”
“ Maybe ,” MeMaw said , her voice softer now .
“ But Natalie’s like me . She’s got a free spirit .
You try to cage that , and it’ll break her .
” She put a hand on my arm , her grip surprisingly strong .
“ This first year of college ? She needs to figure out who she is without wondering what you’re doing or feeling like she’s letting you down or holding you back. ”
“ She could never hold me back ,” I protested , feeling the ache of my own words .
“ I know you think that ,” MeMaw said , her eyes studying me like she could see every corner of my soul . “ But it doesn’t matter what you think , sugar. It’s what she feels . And right now , she feels like she needs space .”
I swallowed hard , the lump in my throat threatening to choke me . “ What if she never comes back ?”
MeMaw smiled then , a small , knowing smile that didn’t reach her eyes . “ If she’s yours , she’ll find her way back . And if she doesn’t … well , you’ll just have to come get her , won’t you ?”
The words cut deeper than I wanted to admit . I hated her logic , hated that it made sense , but more than anything , I hated the idea of letting Natalie go .
MeMaw patted my arm and started walking again . “ Now go home , Easton . Focus on your movie and let her focus on herself . She’s got to fly , and you’ve got to let her .”
I didn’t go back to her porch that day . I didn’t beg or plead or try to change her mind . But as I walked back to my car , a hollow ache settled in my chest , and I knew something had shifted .
Because MeMaw was right . I couldn’t cage Natalie . But that didn’t stop me from hoping she’d fly right back to me .
And if not , I’d just have to convince her that a life with me was better than anything she could find out there .
I snapped back to the present, deliberately keeping my gaze away from MeMaw’s disapproving stare. Evidently, her idea of letting Natalie fly free and my idea of what that meant had been different.
But it was okay. I was here to remedy it all now.
Everyone started talking about the wedding, and I should’ve been paying attention. But my attention kept slipping, pulling toward the window.
Toward her.
I could imagine how she looked sitting in that treehouse. Her legs dangling through the hatch, her hair catching the soft glow of the fading sunlight. She was up there, probably freaking out, probably fuming about me being here.
Fuck, just being near her, knowing she was close, it was like I could finally fucking breathe again.
For almost two years, I’d been suffocating, drowning under the weight of missing her.
And now she was here, and I wanted to crawl through that window, up that damn tree, and tell her everything I hadn’t been able to say back then.
But I couldn’t. Not yet.
So instead, I stood there in the kitchen, pretending to care about whatever Levi was talking about, pretending I wasn’t shaking with the effort it took to keep myself in check.
Because as much as I wanted to fix this—to fix us —I couldn’t lose her again. And rushing her? That wasn’t an option.
I’d play it cool. For now.
Even if it killed me.