Chapter 9
DREW
My emotions and feelings are like a ping pong ball rattling around inside me right now.
It’s been seventeen hours since I handed Izzy off to her grandparents, and I feel her absence every single second.
But I’m also pacing back and forth in my living room while I wait until I hear Willa knocking to let me know she’s ready to leave.
Izzy’s already video called me once, her big, brown eyes full of tears.
It felt like someone took a knife, sliced open my chest and reached inside, tearing my heart out.
Seeing her sad and being unable to comfort her beyond words fucking destroyed me.
If anyone had told me that finding out I had a kid would turn me into a soppy, emotional mess, I would have laughed my ass off.
But fuck if I wouldn’t travel to the ends of the earth for my little girl.
I pop a peppermint in my mouth again. Probably the twentieth I’ve had today, it’s always helped calm my nerves. I used to have one before every game.
Tonight should be great, Aiden somehow managed to get the early shift at the restaurant, so he’ll be home in time to eat with us at seven.
I made my mom’s sweet potato casserole and managed to not burn it, so I have that going for me.
Unless I messed up the measurements, maybe I should do a quick taste test just in case.
A knock at the door pulls my attention from my spiraling thoughts.
I stop at the mirror by the front door and do a quick check, making sure my hair looks good and I don’t have anything on my face.
The navy sweater I’m wearing was definitely a good choice, it brings out the blue of my eyes, not to mention the way it stretches across my shoulders highlights the muscles I still keep in top form.
All the breath rushes from my lungs when I pull open the door and see Willa. Her hair is down like it was at the auction, but the curls look a bit bigger and softer. She’s wearing another dress, fitted through the top but flaring out over her hips and hitting mid-thigh on her long, toned legs.
Fuck me.
Maybe we should just stay here tonight. Sweet potato casserole is enough sustenance, right?
“Hi,” she drags the word out as her brows rise.
“Sorry, hi.” I step back to let her inside. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you. Don’t look bad yourself.”
Should I kiss her? I don’t know why I’m nervous, I’ve kissed her before. I’m definitely going to kiss her again.
“Thanks. Let me grab my keys, and we can head out.” I go to grab my wallet and keys off the console table, but before I can get them in my pocket, they fall to the ground.
She bends down and picks them up. “Are you okay?” Her forehead is creased with worry as she hands them to me. “You seem off.”
I sigh and run my hand over my eyes. “I am. This is my first time being away from Izzy, and while I completely trust her grandparents, it’s just a lot.
They’re all the way in Florida, and I’m here.
It’s got me all thrown off.” I wave my hand in her direction.
“And if I’m being entirely honest, I’m nervous about you. ”
“About me?” Her brows rise nearly to her forehead. “Why would you be nervous about me?”
“You’re smart and independent. The way you live your life is intimidating in a way I’m not used to.”
“Living in a van intimidates you?” She bites back a smile. “That’s a first.”
“Living by your own rules,” I correct her.
“Ah, well. I do make my own rules. It’s never struck me as intimidating, though.”
I go still as she steps into my space and lifts her hand to the nape of my neck. My arms circle her waist, pulling her against me. She rises onto her toes and presses a soft kiss to my lips.
“How about we focus on just enjoying the night and keeping your mind off Izzy?”
She puts me at ease with her words and actions, so I nod in agreement. I lead us out to my truck, opening the door for her before walking around to the driver’s side. Our breath mists in the cold, evening air as I turn the engine on.
“So who is going to be there tonight?” she asks as I pull onto the road.
“You met Ava and Aiden. It’s at their house. Ben will be there; he’s the principal at Holly Ridge High School. Noah will also be there; he owns a ranch on the other side of the ridge. Everyone is child-free today, so there won’t be any kids.”
“That worked out well for this.”
“Yeah, that’s actually why Ava planned it.”
“Does she have kids?”
I shake my head. “No, but she’s kind of our go-to babysitter for poker nights.”
“Lucky you to find someone willing to be with all the kids.”
“Right? She’s so good with them all, too. She’s always doing art projects or putting on puppet shows. Izzy loves her.”
“And you think there’s something going on with her and Ben?”
“Possibly.”
“Want me to keep an eye on them? See if they disappear to another room for an extended period of time?”
“I feel like if they do that, it wouldn’t be any of our business, now would it?”
“Speak for yourself, I’m too nosey to look away.”
I see everyone’s car except for Aiden’s when we pull up to the house.
Willa reaches for my hand as we walk up to the front door, and as we entwine our fingers, butterflies erupt in my stomach.
I’d be mortified if anyone knew she makes me feel like a teenager on the inside.
Being out of the dating game for the past couple years has sent me into the most embarrassing regression.
Ava welcomes us inside, the scent of Thanksgiving dinner filling the air. I hand over the sweet potato casserole and then lead Willa into the living room. A cursory glance at the football game on the television shows me that the Cowboys are losing. Least surprising thing I’ve seen all year.
“Turn that shit off,” I say good-naturedly.
Willa turns and looks at me with wide eyes. “You don’t like watching football?”
“He doesn’t like watching the Cowboys,” Noah says with a roll of his eyes. “I’m Noah.”
She takes his extending hand. “Willa. Nice to meet you.” She looks back to me. “Were you rivals with them or something?”
“No.” I narrow my eyes at her. “The Packers are our rivals.”
“Right. I remember that now.” She holds her hands up and smiles bashfully. “Not really a team sports type of girl. I’ll go see if Ava needs any help in the kitchen.”
“Okay, but you don’t have to leave.”
“It’s okay, I want to.”
I watch her go and don’t turn back to Noah until she disappears around the corner. He’s got a big, dopey smile on his face as he lifts his beer to his lips.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He takes a drink. “Is that the ski instructor?”
“Yes.”
“You seem close.”
“We’re getting to know each other.”
“Intimately?” He wiggles his eyebrows.
“Fuck off.” I drop down in the chair across from him. “Where’s Ben? I saw his car.”
“In the kitchen with Ava.”
“Aiden?”
“Finishing up at the restaurant.”
I nod, since that was my assumption.
“Hey, man.” Ben walks into the room and extends his hand.
I slap it in greeting. “Hey. How are you?”
“I’m good. But we should be asking how you are. It’s your first holiday without Izzy.”
Noah sets his beer down while Ben takes a seat on the couch. I run my hand through my hair. The best thing about finding this group of guys is how easy they are to talk to. We might rib each other about shit, but when it’s serious, they’re always available.
“Not gonna lie, it’s rough. I've been an anxious mess since I watched her step onto the airplane.”
“That has to be hard. At least my kids are just a couple hours away in Denver,” Ben says.
“It is. If I could facetime her every hour on the hour, I probably would. But Monica and Jerry are both understanding. I’m so glad that they were open to hearing my side of everything and knowing we’re all on the same team.”
“That’s what is most important. Making sure Izzy is as supported and loved as possible.
” Noah sips his beer. His ex-wife walked out on him and their son years ago, and his parents passed away in a car accident years before she left.
The only reason Wyatt isn’t here is because he’s spending Thanksgiving with his girlfriend and her family in Idaho.
The conversation moves further on to work and other facets of life.
While we talk and half pay attention to the game on TV, I also keep an ear toward the kitchen.
Every so often I hear laughter drifting from the girls out to us.
With each instance my body relaxes, it’s so good to know they’re getting along.
Aiden joins us about forty-five minutes after we arrive and disappears upstairs to shower quickly before dinner.
Once he’s finished we all settle around the table.
I pour both myself and Willa a glass of wine after she takes a seat at the table.
Aiden apologizes for being late and launches into a story about how busy work was.
“But enough about me,” he says as the final dishes are passed around the table. “How has the season been for you, Willa?”
“Good. For as busy as it’s been, there haven’t been too many accidents on the slopes so far.” She taps her knuckles on the table. “Knock on wood.”
“Was the rescue the other day your first this year?” I ask.
“No, there was a girl who blew out her knee on the moguls the week before. Then there’s been all the usual issues, collisions on the slopes, etcetera.” She waves her hand.
“What do you do in the off season?” Ben asks.
“I guide multi-day trips on the Pacific Crest Trail and occasionally the Continental Divide Trail.”
“That’s so cool,” Ava says. “I should do one of them someday.”
“I’ve actually been kicking around the idea of starting a company that focuses on only taking women on the trail.”
“Really?” I ask, surprised. In all the conversations we’ve had over the past few weeks, she hasn’t mentioned it.
“Yeah,” she shrugs. “I need the capital to start it, and I don’t have enough saved to launch the business the way I would want, yet. Who knows, it could just be a pipe dream.”
“No. I think it’s brilliant.” Ava’s voice carries so much conviction. “I’d sign up for a trip like that in a heartbeat. All women? I’d feel so safe.”
As a girl dad, hearing that makes me queasy. I hate that there are men out in the world that make companies and trips like this necessary.
“I think you should do it,” I say. I could easily invest, but I’m not sure if she would appreciate me offering in front of everyone.
She turns her head in my direction and squeezes my thigh. “Thank you.”
Those damn butterflies come fluttering back through my belly as she leaves her hand there.
This time, though, my dick also picks up on her hand’s proximity to it.
It pulses a few times, the needy fucker.
Not that I can blame it, it’s been a long time since anything other than my fist came into contact with it.
I spend the rest of dinner watching Willa interact with my friends. She’s blended in so effortlessly, bantering with Noah, having deeper conversations with Ben, sharing work stories with Aiden, and laughing with Ava. I couldn’t have hoped for today to go better.