Chapter 12
WILLA
Despite having had a long, arduous day of lessons at work, I decided to go ahead and meet up with Ava for a drink. It was really fun getting to know her at Thanksgiving, and I’m sure Drew will want to soak up every minute he can with Izzy. I don’t want to intrude on that accidentally.
The great thing about Holly Ridge is that it’s so dog friendly. Many of the restaurants allow dogs on the patios, and there’s one pub that allows them inside as well. That’s where I’m meeting her.
I spot her as soon as I walk through the front door. Her light brown hair is swept up on top of her head in a messy knot with a pencil holding it up. She smiles brightly at me and stands to greet me with a quick hug.
“Hey,” she says as she drops her arms. “This must be Maya.” She crouches down, extending the back of her hand for Maya to sniff. “Hi, pretty girl.”
“Hi, and yep, this is her. She’s never met a stranger she didn’t instantly love.”
Maya, never one to shy away from attention, presses her entire wiggling body against Ava’s legs for whole body contact and love. You’d never know she spent the entire day in the employee lounge getting loved on by at least a dozen people by how she acts with the attention from a new person.
“It’s mutual.” She pulls her chair out and sits down. “How was your day?”
“Good. It was mostly lessons today, which I don’t usually mind, but I had some exhausting students.”
She gives me a wry grin. “Preach girl. That’s this entire year for me, but I love those little assholes anyway.”
I chuckle. “Can’t relate. I only have mine for a few hours tops. Not even long enough to like them usually.”
“Except for Drew and Izzy.” She pulls out a bottle of hand sanitizer and squirts a dab on her hands.
“Only a cold-hearted monster could spend a minute with Izzy and not be utterly charmed. She’s the cutest kid I’ve ever met.”
“Doesn’t hurt that her dad is hot as hell, too.” She wiggles her brows.
“Is he? I never noticed,” I joke.
“Have you gone on your date yet?”
“No, but it’s okay. We hung out all weekend while Izzy was gone.”
“Hung out? I hope that’s literal.”
“Maybe,” I answer coyly.
The server comes by to take our drink order, giving me a little reprieve from going in depth about the weekend.
“Has Ben taken you out, yet?” I ask once we’re alone again.
“No.” She shakes her head. “I’m not holding my breath, either. He’s a grouchy ass on a good day.”
“Why’d you bid on him?”
“Because I’ve been in love with him since we were kids and he asked me to.
I bullied the guys into participating, so when Ben came to me the week before the auction and asked me to bid for him, I couldn’t say no.
He has this weird perception that he has to be perfect and above reproach for the entire town.
It’s only gotten worse since his divorce. ”
“Was it messy?”
She nods. “His ex is honestly horrible. I’m the last person to talk shit about another woman, but she’s just awful. Misses her custody weekends and last summer she didn’t take the kids at all, which she’s supposed to have them for.”
My heart aches for the kids. That has to be so hard for them, I can’t imagine my parents not wanting to spend every waking minute possible with me and my brother that they could. In fact, as a teenager, I desperately craved space from them.
“Does Aiden know you have feelings for Ben?”
“I’m sure he has his suspicions, but I haven’t ever confided in him about it.
He was protective of me when we were younger, always threatening to beat up any guy I dated.
In fact, the guy who took my virginity came to school with a black eye the Monday after it happened.
Made it really hard to date anyone until he went off to college. ”
“He doesn’t strike me as the type to get physical. What’s the age difference between you two?”
“We’re two years apart.”
“Wait.” I start putting things together. “How old were you when you lost your virginity?”
She winces. “Fifteen. The guy who I lost it to definitely deserved the black eye in hindsight. He was a senior, and I was a freshman. The whole situation kind of gave me a scarlet letter around school.” She shakes her head.
“Enough of that shit though. Have you heard anything from the mechanic about your van, yet?”
“No, I checked in last week to see if anything had changed, but the part hadn’t even been shipped yet. At this point I'm starting to wonder if it wouldn’t just be easier to buy an entire new van.”
“Is that an option?”
“Yeah, it could be. But I’m not sure I want to make that big of a commitment.
I love traveling and what I do, but living in a house temporarily is reminding me how nice it can be to have a bigger space to come home to.
Cooking on a stove instead of a hot plate or in an oven instead of a microwave is so nice. ”
“Yeah, I love the idealized aesthetics of van life, but I doubt I could live like that for longer than a couple weeks. I need my weekly baths and couch rot time to relax.”
“I miss baths the most. Drew actually let me use his last week after I spent half the day digging a guy out of the snow for a rescue.”
“He didn’t put one in the rental?”
“The upstairs bathroom isn’t finished with renovations yet, so he let me use Izzy’s bath. It was actually so cute, she offered me her mermaids to play with.” I smile thinking back on it.
“I love that kid so much.”
“I know. She makes it impossible not to.”
My phone lights up with a notification.
Drew: Izzy is requesting your presence at dinner tonight
Drew: Should I break her heart or make her day?
Me: Who am I to deny her?
Drew: Exactly
Drew: Where are you?
Me: Out with Ava for a drink
Drew: Tell her hello for me and then hurry home
Home.
That’s actually what it feels like. Every time I pull into the driveway, the comfort of his house sinks into me. My van used to make me feel like that, but with each passing day, it becomes harder to think about going back to that lifestyle.
“Speaking of Izzy,” I say, as I close the text thread. “She apparently wants me to join them for dinner. Do you mind if I head out after this round?”
“Not at all.”
We talk some more as we drain our glasses.
When it’s time to leave, she makes me promise to have Drew take me on a legitimate date for winning him in the auction.
I agree to appease her, not having any intentions to do so.
I was completely serious when I told him letting me stay for free was more than enough.
Smoke billows from the chimney into the cloudy, dark night as I pull into the driveway. I can see light filtering through the curtains from the living room. Maya jumps out of the Jeep when I open the back door and runs out into the snow-covered yard to do her business.
The curtain moves, and I catch Izzy peaking outside. I give her a little wave, and a big smile crosses her face. Maya finishes up, and we walk up the front steps. Drew’s front door flies open, and Izzy races to me, wrapping her arms around my hips in a tight squeeze.
“Hi, Willa,” she says, breathless with excitement.
“Hello.” I bend down and scoop her up into my arms. “How was your trip?”
Drew’s eyes meet mine, warm with affection as I walk into his house.
“It was so good. I went to the beach and rode roller coasters. My grandma gave me a mommy book, do you want to see it?” She wiggles out of my arms and races upstairs before I can answer.
Drew pulls me to him by my coat and presses his lips to mine in a fast, dirty kiss.
We don’t pull away from each other until we hear her loud footsteps racing back toward us.
Good to know we’re still doing this. I really wasn’t sure if it was just a short-term thing or if he wanted to keep it going.
We talked about so many things in between all the sex but never touched on what we’re doing.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t need huge declarations of intentions or anything, and I’m definitely not one to push a define-the-relationship chat, but there’s someone else just as important to consider.
I don’t know how to act with Izzy around.
Are we just friends? Is it an act for her, or was the weekend just scratching an itch for both of us?
The latter doesn’t sit well with me, if I’m being completely honest. I sit in wonder as that revelation washes over me. This is a new experience for me. I’m pretty good at keeping things casual, but something tugs at me when I think about it.
There’s not enough time to explore those feelings before Izzy is pulling me over to the couch.
“Look at how pretty my mommy was.” She opens the book as I sit down next to her, the pages showing a young woman with tan skin and hair the same color and texture as Izzy. “Grandma said this was when she graduated from college.”
“Wow, she was really pretty. It’s so nice for them to give you this.”
“I’m going to go to college like she did.” She looks over at Drew. “Did you go to college?”
“Yeah.”
“With Mommy?”
“No, Bug. I went to the University of Wisconsin. I think your mom went to Florida State.”
“Did you go to college?” Izzy asks me.
“I did. I went to a small private liberal arts university that no one has ever heard of.”
“Cool.” She flips to the next page and points at her mom, a large, rounded baby bump extending from her abdomen while she lays on the beach in a neon pink bikini. Not a stretch mark in sight. She was really stunning. “That’s me in her belly.”
I watch as her bright expression dims just a bit.
“I miss her.”
It feels like someone just punched their fist through my heart. I look up helplessly at Drew, but see my own emotions reflected back at me in his eyes. How do you comfort a child who lost their mom so young? It isn’t fair.
Izzy flips to the next page and finds photos of her first Christmas.
She and her mom have on matching pajamas while they sit on a coach together.
Drew comes over and sits on the opposite side of Izzy.
I’m sure that it’s bittersweet for him to see these photos.
The moments he missed out on because of shitty management and representation.
“Can we get matching PJs for Christmas?” she asks him.
“Yeah. Of course we can do that, Bug.”
“Willa and Maya, too?”
He smiles, his eyes moving back and forth between the two of us. “We should probably ask Willa if she wants to be included in the new tradition.”
“I’m going to be out of town for Christmas, I’m so sorry.”
“Where are you going?” Izzy closes the book and looks up at me.
“I’m going home to see my family.”
“Oh.” The disappointment in her voice guts me.
“But maybe we could have our own little Christmas party?” I look over at Drew with raised brows. I’d literally do anything to make this kid happy right now. “Maybe we could have a gingerbread house decorating competition and make cookies?”
“While wearing matching PJs?” she asks excitedly.
“For sure.”
“Daddy?” She climbs onto his lap and presses her forehead against his. “Can we?”
“I don’t know,” he teases. “I’m not very good at cookie decorating.”
“Please,” she begs.
He smiles down at her. “Yes.”
“Yay,” she exclaims as she wraps her arms around his neck. “Wait. We should all hug on it.” She holds open her arm and looks over at me. “Willa, group hug.”
Drew holds out his arm, wrapping it around my waist as Izzy wraps hers around my neck. My eyes sting with tears at the joy on her face. I don’t think I could ever tell her no. I’m not sure how he manages to do it.