Four
four
Rhone
T he afternoon drags once I return the truck to the farm. Steve waves away my offer to help with the pasteurization of the day’s milking. So I try to use the time efficiently in my creamery by planning the next flavor I want to experiment with. I’m too distracted to start actually making any cheese and eventually give up even making notes for the future.
The only future my mind—and body—seem able to focus on is one that includes Tegan. I’m not sure my spontaneous invitation for tonight was a good idea when I don’t really want to talk about business. Getting to know the fascinating woman, discovering if there’s room in her life for me—now that’s important. It won’t destroy me if she’s not as interested as her expression suggested. Better to find that out now before I dig myself in deeper. I won’t go through that heartache again.
Memories chase Tegan’s smiling eyes from my mind. I’d been in love before going overseas. Believed she’d wait for me. The only thing she waited for was making a big show of hugging me after I exited the airport. Then whispering in my ear that she was involved with someone else and walking away. Bitch didn’t even give me a ride home from the airport. After Steve’s somber welcome home, I’d almost turned around and reupped. At least the Air Force wanted me.
As do a number of organizations who need my talent deciphering codes. I still receive periodic requests to work with them. There are times I’m tempted with a ‘consulting’ position but I have no real desire to be pulled back into that world. However I’m not going to completely close that door. Not yet.
For Tegan though? For her I have the suspicion I’d attempt to change anything she asks. Small things because I’m sure she’d never ask for major changes. Unlike the woman whose name I refuse to say, Tegan wouldn’t require me to fit into some ill-conceived idea of perfection. To hell with three piece suits, brand name shoes, and networking cocktail parties.
Even though I barely know her, I sense with Tegan I can be me. Hopefully that will be enough for her. I’ll be enough for her.
Giving up any pretense of work, I double check the contents of the cheese cave then return to town. Working on my business plan isn’t any more successful. Under a cold shower, I relieve the pressure in my dick, groaning Tegan’s name.
After dressing for our coffee date, I search like a crazed man for the box of condoms I’ve had for—fuck, I don’t want to even think about how long it’s been since I’ve needed one. There, in the back of the top drawer of my dresser. I stare at the unopened box. It’s too soon. It doesn’t matter how hard my body is with wanting her, it’s too soon. We need to be on the same page. I don’t doubt she’ll let me know what she wants when she’s ready.
I return the box to the drawer, then shake my head and grab a couple and stuff them in my wallet. I’ll wait, but I’ll be ready.
More than ready. Grimacing at the bulge behind my zipper, I take a few deep breaths and get myself under control by the time I need to leave.
I park behind Choco-Love and she steps immediately from the doorway to wave. She’s changed from her work outfit to a simple, long sleeved dress. With a sweater hooked on her thumb and tossed back over her shoulder, she’s ready for the cooler evening. Instead of slipping into the passenger seat of my car, she waits until I lower my window then leans on the door.
“Why don’t we walk? And instead of coffee, how about we go to the Book & Barrel. It was a busy day and I could use a relaxing glass of wine.”
“Sounds good.”
Allowing me to exit my car, she steps back with a grin then holds out her hand. At my hesitation her grin fades and she draws a deep breath. “Let’s go,” she says and turns to walk toward the side of the building.
Long strides bring me to her side and against my better judgement, I scoop her hand into mine. I knew touching her would affect me but I’m not ready for the electricity skating over my skin. I glance sideways at her and she turns her head toward me. Eyes wide, she looks ready to speak then presses her lips together and closes her eyes. Her expression turns soft and kissable.
Without thinking about the action, I weave my fingers between hers, pressing our palms together. She sighs and looks at me. “Okay?” I ask.
“Very okay. Umm.”
“Yes?”
Tegan lifts our joined hands. “I’ve been told I’m a little too honest and forthright at times. Well, most of the time. I do tend to speak my mind without too many filters. You’ll never need to guess what I’m thinking.”
Maybe someday I’ll be able to be so open. Her admission is refreshing and different. “What are you thinking?”
“Hmm. Sometimes it gets me in trouble. I hope this isn’t one of them.” She stares at our hands. “Here goes. Last night at the meeting there was something about you that called to me. It was strong, and even though I tried, I haven’t been able to ignore it. Or to stop thinking about you.”
She catches her lower lip between her teeth and meets my gaze. When I smile, the tight set of her shoulders soften and a tentative grin returns to her full lips.
“Tegan, I can’t promise to be as open as you are.”
“I know?—”
Squeezing her fingers stops her words. “But trust that I’ll do the best I can. Yes, I’m attracted to you, too. However I got a head start when I saw you while making a delivery here yesterday.”
“Well now, that doesn’t seem fair.” Her chuckle is low and naturally sensuous. There really isn’t any artifice in this woman. “How about that drink now? Spend some time getting to know each other? I want to confirm my instant feelings are real.”
With my nod we start walking but don’t make it far before she stops again. Using her free hand, she points toward the building next to her store. A large ‘For Rent’ sign fills a quarter of one of the two picture windows flanking the centered door.
“I was wondering how long this building would remain vacant. Wait, come on. Let’s peek in the window.” She pulls me up the walk then cups her hands around her eyes to peer through the glass. “The store that was here went out of business about a month after we opened. We were so busy, I never got over here. Oh, look.”
She glances at me and indicates I need to lean closer to the glass. “There’s a refrigerated display case. Another long counter. Would something like this work for your cheese shop?”
Curious, I look into the dark storefront. The space is open and looks huge. There’s no way I could use all that space. At least not at first. “I like what I can see of the counter. But…”
“But?”
“It’s too big. I don’t need all that.”
She faces me with her hands fisted at her full hips. Aching to replace her hands with mine, my fingers flex and I force myself to focus on her face. “You’d be surprised. I have some ideas and possibilities in mind.”
Her thought processes must move at the speed of light while mine have stalled out on the possibility of setting up my business right next door to hers. Seeing her every day. Somehow finding a way in our busy lives to spend time together.
She takes out her phone and snaps a photo of the sign. “I’ll get your number and send this info to you once we’re at the bar.”
Grinning, I offer her my hand. “You put my contact information in yesterday at the meeting. At least in that group chat you set up.”
“That’s right. Eh, it’ll be easier if you just put your number in again so I don’t accidentally text everyone. Okay?”
“Okay.”
At the Book & Barrel we find a quiet table to one side and settle in with a flight of wines to try. She explains what chocolates she would pair with each, while I suggest different cheeses. In between we talk about our lives, our pasts and our dreams. With an unspoken agreement, we don’t discuss my business and I’m thankful for the break. I haven’t had such an enjoyable evening in a long time.
Surprised when our server announces last call, I glance at my watch. We’ve been here nearly five hours. Yet time spent with Tegan seems only moments long. Or like I’ve known her a lifetime. Each minute solidifies her presence in my heart. In my life. She’s the woman I want, I need.
She stands and sways to one side before grasping the table edge. Her eyes go wide. “I should have told you I’m a real lightweight when it comes to drinking. Doesn’t help I haven’t eaten since lunch. And that’s…” She leans toward my arm to peer through the dim light at my watch. “Shit, almost twelve hours ago.”
“You should have said something. We could have grabbed dinner somewhere.”
Waving her hand nearly unbalances her. “I was enjoying myself. Didn’t think about it. What I need now is sleep. I’m on pre-opening duties tomorrow.”
“You okay to walk?”
“Oh sure. I’m more tipsy than drunk.”
Rising to join her, I keep my opinion of that statement to myself. I’ll get her home safely and be more aware next time. To her credit, she does remain steady as we walk back to the chocolate shop although I thoroughly enjoy the times she leans against me. Wrapping my arm around her waist keeps her pressed against my side. For support—nothing more.
At the door, she faces me with a serious expression. “I have something important to tell you.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“No.” She shakes her head then closes her eyes and clasps my forearm. “Shouldn’t do that. No, I need to tell you this tonight. But not out here. Come up. Just for a couple minutes. I know you have to be up early tomorrow…uh today, too.”
“Not many deliveries scheduled, so I’m good. And yes, I’ll come up for five minutes.”
Her smile brightens the night. “Good.”
Once upstairs I glance around the large apartment before she pushes me down on the couch. Settling with her legs crossed so she faces me, she clears her throat.
“This is something very few people know about me. I thought about waiting to tell you but we had such a good time tonight. I want more good times with you. Much more. That’s why you need to hear this.”
I catch one of her hands mid-movement. “I’m listening.”
Her lips press together for a moment then she leans toward me. “Rhone, I’m a virgin.”