Chapter 2 – Six Years Ago - Almost 15 #2
Raph stays seated at the table, though, his eyes darting to my full plate, then to me. It completely unsettles me. My stomach tightens while I start to rise, picking up my plate.
“You haven’t eaten anything.”
My pulse quickens.
He sounds disappointed.
Wait. Did he just talk to me?
“You’ll be hungry later, Nicolette. You should eat.”
Oh my God. He said my name and I never liked it more than I do right now. My heart hammers in my chest. But I can’t make myself look at him. The plate jitters in my hands while I just stand there staring at it, seeming like a nervous idiot.
I clear my throat. “I—I’m fine. This is how much I normally eat.”
Lie. Complete lie.
But if a guy like him likes thin girls, maybe that’s the kind of girl I should be. My thighs are definitely on the thicker side and my butt is too big.
The chair scratches against the floor.
He rises to his feet ever so slowly, coming toward me with gradual steps.
I’m mesmerized as he pulls closer. My heart flutters so loudly, it may rip out of my chest.
When he’s near enough, he speaks on a harsh exhale. “You can’t let people like that control you.”
Both of his hands grip the edge of the table to my left as he leans in to whisper, like he doesn’t want anyone else to hear. His gaze is earnest and true when he looks at me.
“You can’t let them win.” He stresses every syllable like it’s an oath. “Everything she said, it’s untrue.” His jaw tenses. “You’re perfect the way you are. There’s nothing wrong with you. Don’t let her make you think otherwise. Alright?”
My breath catches in my lungs; I force air into them.
You’re perfect the way you are.
Tears instantly flood my eyes.
No one has ever said that to me. Least of all my parents.
But he did. He said I was perfect.
Is he lying? Does he just feel sorry for me?
He pushes off the table and struts toward the living room. But before he goes, he quietly says, “When dessert is served, I expect you to eat it. Understand?”
I nod, utterly speechless.
And twenty minutes later, when that chocolate cake is placed on that table, he cuts me a slice, and I do just that.
He smiles at me the entire time, and I smile right back.
For the first time in my life, I feel a little less alone.
From that day on, he was always there when my own family wasn’t. He took the time to get to know me. To help me with homework. To teach me how to cook. To come to my school when my parents were too busy.
Once, I was being bullied and got in trouble for standing up for myself. And he was there, telling that principal off while she looked blankly at him, not knowing how to respond when he threatened to have the school’s funding taken away.
Apparently, his family has connections in government too. She was instantly terrified, and I was magically allowed back to school while my bully was suspended for a week. It was a nice week while it lasted.
My God, I miss him. A throbbing sensation hits the center of my chest and I blink rapidly, knowing now isn’t the time to think about him, not when someone is after me.
I’ll never see Raph again. I’ve neatly packed him away in the very depths of my heart where I don’t dare go, knowing if I do, I’ll fall apart. Because he never wanted me, and he never will.
Maybe to him, his kindness didn’t mean a thing, but to a girl like me, it meant the world. Someone finally cared. Someone finally looked out for me.
My secret childhood crush had turned into full-blown infatuation by the time I was seventeen. But he had no idea…until one day, he did.
Until I ruined everything.
But he had no interest in me. I wasn’t my sister. I didn’t have her curves. Her exotic beauty. I was just me. The girl no one desired. The girl everyone else pushed aside to get to the real prize: Bianca.
I lived every year watching my sister have the man I wanted, the one she took for granted with her betrayals and lies. A man who was too good for her. He had no idea the kinds of things she was up to. Or if he did, he didn’t show it.
Why would he have married her if he knew?
Before I found out about Giancarlo, I saw her kissing a man while out to dinner with him. She didn’t see me. But I saw everything from across the street. After that, they drove off together. I bet there were others.
When I confronted her, she told me she’d tell Raph that I was jealous and making up stories like when I was a child. I did that to get my parents’ attention. It didn’t work. But I was sixteen when I caught her and not a kid anymore.
I wanted to tell Raph so many times, but I never got the courage. Because I knew that when it came to it, he’d believe her over me. And I’d cause the one person I loved to hate me.
My parents would also despise me for ruining her relationship and her meal ticket. I’d have no one. So I stayed quiet and watched the man I was in love with marry someone else.
But then I went and did something stupid and lost him anyway.
From that day on, he barely spoke to me. Barely even looked at me. I became invisible to the one person who mattered most, and it cut like a knife. Not even my parents’ indifference hurt this much.
It made me sick inside to have to face him after the humiliation of his rejection. When we’d have to be around each other at family gatherings, I’d suffer through his ignoring me. My sister noticed the change between us, and she was thrilled if her gloating grins were any indication.
It hurt to know I had lost him. I knew I didn’t have him like she did. But I had something. I had his friendship. It may not have been enough, but at least I had that.
After a while, the dread morphed into anger. And every moment I looked at him, every time the back of my throat throbbed with drowning emotions, I stuffed that deeper and reveled in my fury. It was all I had left. He meant nothing. He was just like the rest of my family who didn’t care.
After Bianca died, it was easier to leave it all behind and run. In a sick way, I was grateful I had a reason to leave. No one would miss me anyway. Not even him.
I mailed my parents a letter shortly after I disappeared, telling them I needed some time alone to grieve and that I’d be living on my own for a while. I’m sure they were relieved.
The sad thing is, they haven’t called my phone once since I’ve been gone. That stung. It really did. I still carried the hope that they’d love me, but it never came.
He called, though. Many times. But I never answered. Not just because I was hurt, but because I was afraid it would make finding me easier. He’d never give me up, but his father is cunning. He’d find a way to track me. I couldn’t take the risk.
“Come on, now. You can’t outrun me.” The man chasing me shoots my attention back to the present, his chuckling a biting sound.
He increases his speed. The snap of branches beneath my feet crackles through the air. He whistles a taunting melody, firing off a bullet. There’s nothing here but trees and darkness. No one would hear my screams.
His laughter pummels my gut with dread.
I gasp, my feet moving faster.
My chest heaves from the onslaught of my shallow breaths.
He’s going to get me.
He’s going to kill me.
Run. Just keep running.
“I always get the job done,” he taunts, voice booming, sounding louder. “And unfortunately for you, the boss wants you gone.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! I’m gonna die! I don’t want to die. I want to see Raph again. Tell him I love him. That I’d never hurt him like she did. Fuck our age difference. Fuck it all. Why does it matter anyway when two people are in love?
Okay, maybe he doesn’t love me now. But that can change.
Is this what people think about while they’re being chased by a killer? Things they wish they could do differently if they got a second chance? Because I’d give him all of my tomorrows without a second thought. There’s no one else I’d rather spend them with.
God, Nicolette! Stop focusing on him and figure out how to escape! You can’t ride off into the sunset with the man of your dreams if you’re dead.
I glance in every direction, hoping to spot a route onto a main road. But there’s not even a visible clearing in these woods. I glance over my shoulder, but don’t see him at all. Just more darkness. My heart pounds, and when I face forward, my body slams into a wide tree trunk.
“Shit…” I groan, my knees collapsing into the cold, soggy dirt.
I fight the pain shooting down my chest.
“Need help?” His laughter bursts from somewhere dangerously close, his mocking tone reverberating like thunder, grinding up my insides. “Just tell me where you are, and I’ll make it better.”
I push past the pain and rush up to my feet, running again, not knowing where I’m headed, but knowing I need to keep moving.
Tears blur my vision. I won’t outrun him. I’m alone. Helpless. Will anyone even find my body, or will Giancarlo make sure I’m never found?
I’m not stupid. I’m aware of how powerful he is.
But I know if Raph found out what’s been happening, he’d help me. He’s the only one I can trust. If I could somehow find him and tell him what I know about his father, he’d protect me. Seeing him again would be hard, but it's better than dying.
“I can hear you.” He strides even nearer, and the rustling of the leaves and his thundering footfalls cause my arms to break out in a shiver.
I don’t even know how he found me. I was careful. I knew about the security cams at my sister’s. I also knew that if Giancarlo saw me walk into the house before he got there and not walk out, he’d realize I was hiding and come after me. So I ran before he could do just that.
I had some money in my bag the day I left, hitching a ride to a nearby state, thinking that if I stayed just close enough, Giancarlo wouldn’t find me. I was hoping he’d think I ran really far away and not focus his attention nearby.
I stayed at motels no one would ever willingly frequent. I even worked as a cleaning lady at a few just to have a way to make money. But when I got attacked by someone staying there, I knocked him out with a lamp and ran.