Chapter 31
RAPH
“Fernanda, where are you?” Patrick storms in through the doors breathlessly, his eyes wandering around Michael’s sprawling foyer as he rushes past the spiral staircase. “Fernanda? We gotta talk.”
Moments later, my mother’s soft footfalls trudge closer.
“I was in the ladies’ room.” She appears. “What’s the big emergency?”
She walks over to where we stand, and as soon as she sees Patrick’s facial expression, her brows shoot up, then her eyes jump to each one of us.
“Come on,” Iseult tells her brothers, her voice laced with her own brand of rage. “Let’s give them some privacy.”
Wordlessly, they follow her into the den while I remain with my eyes zeroed in on my mother. Her gaze fills with alarm.
“What’s going on here?” she whispers. “What happened with your father?”
“How?” Patrick’s voice breaks as he advances a single step.
She backs away, her chest rattling with labored breaths.
“How could you not tell me, Fernanda? All this time, he was mine, and you kept him from me?” He turns to glance at me over his shoulder, and I grow rigid.
Is he really my father?
“What are you talking about, Pat?”
“Cut the bullshit, Fernanda,” he snaps. “He told us. He told us Raph is mine.”
She sucks in a tense inhale, tears pooling in her eyes.
Shit. It’s true.
He grabs her jaw and tilts up her face to his, and it’s not aggressive or I’d kill him right where he stands. “Deny it…please.”
He sounds like he’s on the cusp of breaking. Like this hurts him worse than it does me.
Would he have wanted me? Would he have been a better father than the one I had?
She pants. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Damn it!” He spins off of her, gripping his head, but suddenly, he pivots toward her once more and clasps her cheek tenderly. “Why? Why would you not tell me. I loved you with my whole heart, Fernanda. I would’ve fought for us. If I knew…”
He shatters quietly. I’m not used to seeing him that way.
“I couldn’t,” she gasps. “I couldn’t tell you.
My mom, she found out I was pregnant, and she told me if people found out I cheated on Gian and got pregnant, everyone would know I was a slut.
I’d be ruined for life. She told me if I didn’t pretend that the baby was Gian’s, she’d send me to a nunnery in Italy and I’d be forced to give up the baby.
I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t give him up.
” Tears flood down her cheeks. “Please understand.” She clutches his forearm. “I loved you too. I always did.”
Her weeping makes me want to console her. I hate seeing her upset. I know she didn’t have it easy with my father either.
“Raph,” she says my name with a strangle.
“I don’t know what to say to you right now, Ma.”
Anger stirs in my chest, but if I’m being honest, there’s relief there too. It all makes sense now. My father took out her infidelity on me.
“You could’ve told me once I was older. I could’ve left. I could’ve…” My attention bounces to Patrick, who stares at me with his jaw set tight.
“He could’ve come to stay with me,” he finishes with the words I couldn’t, his eyes remaining locked with mine.
“You don’t understand,” she chokes out, gazing intently at me. “Your father told me if I told you or Patrick, he’d kill us both. And I couldn’t lose you, Raph. Not then, and not now.” She trudges toward me, but keeps a fair distance. “You’re my son, and I love you. Please forgive me.”
“Don’t cry, Ma.”
“I would’ve run away with you. I would’ve protected you,” Patrick interrupts, cupping his palm around her cheek, leaning into her. “I would’ve burned the earth for you, Fernanda. You had to know that.”
“You were married. You were happy. I couldn’t come to you.” She smiles mournfully at him, her head tilting to the side. “Who was I to ruin your life that way?”
“Who were you?” He laughs bitterly. “You were the love of my life. That’s who you were. Who you are…”
I instantly feel like we’re intruding.
“Pat, don’t say that,” she cries heavily, and he lowers his mouth to her forehead.
“I’m sorry.” His gaze returns to her. “But I won’t lie to you. I love you, and I’ll die loving you. It’s just the way it is.”
He says something in Gaelic I don’t understand, but she seems to, because it only makes her shatter even more.
Gio appears beside me. “You okay?”
“I don’t know what I am anymore. I have no time to think about this. My mind has to remain on Nicolette. She’s what I need to concentrate on.”
Unable to listen to any more, I march out into the garage, and Michael and Gio follow me. Michael opens a door that leads into the bar room and locks it behind us.
The stench of ammonia and bleach hits me hard. Someone must’ve died in here recently. It’s what happens in this room most of the time.
Gripping my hair, I pace back and forth, trying to process everything I’ve learned. Michael marches to grab some crystal-cut glasses and pours us a drink.
Patrick is my father. My brother is supposed to marry my damn half sister. Fucking hell. I shake my head. This is too much.
“Drink.” Michael shoves the amber liquid toward my chest.
I focus on him for a moment before muttering a curse and take the whiskey he’s offering. I drain it in one shot, and it scorches going down, settling warmly in my gut, but does nothing to alleviate the stress.
Squeezing the glass in my palm, I look at Michael. “I swear to God, if there’s anything else either one of you is not telling me…” I glance at Gio too. “Now is your time to tell me.”
Gio shrugs. “I’ve got nothin’.”
But Michael? He goes silent.
Anticipation scratches up the back of my neck. “Tell me. What is it?”
Indecision battles in his eyes.
He knows something.
Momentarily, he tilts up his face to the ceiling.
“I want to know everything, Michael. Do you hear me?” I grab his shoulder. “I’m done with these fucking secrets.”
He stares intensely at me. And with a heavy rush of his breath, he slips a hand into his pocket and removes his cell.
“I’m sorry I kept this from you. But I think it’s time you hear this for yourself.”
When I stare questioningly at the phone, he continues.
“When Nicolette was brought to me, she had a video. She didn’t know what to do with it. She didn’t want to hurt you either, so I took it. I told her not to say anything, so don’t go blaming her for this,” he adds when he sees my mouth start to move.
My heart races. Of course I wouldn’t blame her. I blame him right now. What the hell could be on that thing?
“I downloaded the recording to my phone and erased it from hers. I’m sorry, Raph. Forgive me.”
“I’m fucking done with everyone’s apologies.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Just play the damn thing.”
When I immediately register her voice…my fucking whore of a wife, I want to make him stop it, but I grab the phone and watch it anyway.
“What are you doing here, Gian?” Bianca trails from somewhere distant in that sweet tone she likes to put on. “Raph could come home at any moment.”
There’s no one on the camera yet, but I can hear her breathing.
Nicolette.
My heart squeezes at the mere thought of her and what she’s enduring in this exact moment.
I need you back, baby. I need you back so bad. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.
“I came to see my favorite girl,” my father replies, flirting with her the way he’d flirt with all the women he’s messed around with.
She giggles. “Stop. Not here. Let’s go into the bedroom.”
Footsteps beat closer until they’re both visible through the crack in the closet. It’s as though Bianca knew just where to stand, like she wanted to be seen, and she probably did.
“What happened?” My father chuckles. “You can’t have an orgasm unless it’s in expensive hotel rooms?”
The vein in my neck throbs, and I squeeze the phone in my hand.
When she doesn’t say anything, he continues.
“My son doesn’t fuck you as good, does he?” He grabs her ass and pushes her body into him.
Disgust gnaws at me. And every slew of muscle inside is ready to snap, to kill him for this.
“Gian,” Bianca continues. “I’m actually glad you came. Because I have some news that I don’t know what to do with.”
“Oh, yeah?” he groans, gripping her tighter. “What news is that?”
“Just stop for a second.” She pushes him off with a palm to his chest.
“Why we gotta stop, baby? We’re both having a good time, aren’t we?” He doesn’t let go. His hand holds her ass, and I want to kill them both.
She pauses, the room growing silent.
“Because… Oh, God,” she exhales. “I didn’t want to tell you like this. I thought I’d have more time to figure out what to do.”
“What the fuck are you going on about?” He pulls off her. “Spit it out.”
For a mere second, she looks toward the closet, maybe because she’s embarrassed that Nicolette had found out, or maybe it’s because she knew I would.
“I’m pregnant, Gian, and it’s yours.”
“Merda!” my father hollers, cursing her out in Italian. “You told me you’re on the fucking pill.”
“Sometimes it doesn’t work.”
“You fucking sure it’s mine and not his?” He stalks off the camera’s view, muttering until he’s back.
“Yes, I’m sure. We tried having kids…we couldn’t.”
My heart bangs in my chest.
“Figured he’d be a pussy.” He snickers. “Just say it’s his, and that’ll be the end of it.”
“What?” Her head jerks. “I—I can’t do that. What if he finds out and throws me out? I’ll have nothing!” she shrieks. “What will me and my baby do?”
He plants a palm on her shoulder and she makes sure to move closer to the closet. “You’re gonna do what I fucking said, you hear?” He drops his face even nearer to hers. “You tell that bastard it’s his. He’s an idiot. He’ll believe it. We’ll call it a fucking miracle.”
“Gian…it won’t work.”
“So what do you think he’s gonna do to you once he finds out? Huh?” His temper rises. “You fucking tell him it’s his kid, or he’ll kill you.”
“I…okay, fine! But please promise me something.” She cradles his neck in her palm.
“Yeah, uh-huh, what?” He seems completely uninterested.
She doesn’t understand that she’s just one of his many whores. She means nothing.
“Promise to help us if he ever finds out.”
He goes silent, slowly pushing off her.
“Money?” He pauses. “Is that what this was always about?”
“W-what? No!” Her words fly out in a rush. “Of course not.”
“You lying whore!” he bellows. “You were one when I met you and you’re still one now.”
He strikes her across the cheek.
What the hell does he mean? When did they meet? That bastard will tell me everything before I kill him.
Though I can’t see her tears, you can’t miss her heavy sobbing.
“I—I’ll do whatever you want,” she stammers. “I’ll make him believe it’s his. I swear.”
“Do you know what this will do to me if it gets out?” He grabs her by the arm and yanks her flush against him. “Do you think I got where I am to have some whore take that away?”
He clutches her jaw with his free hand, and Nicolette gasps.
I can just imagine how damn scared she was. Fuck. I just want to wrap her in my arms and never let go.
“Don’t touch me!” Bianca hollers, pushing at his arms, his chest, but he doesn’t budge. “Get off! You’re hurting me.”
“I don’t trust you, Bianca, and that’s not good.”
A few seconds later, there’s a heavy thump and she’s out of view. Sounded like he just threw her on the floor.
“Gian,” she gasps. “W-w-what are you doing? Oh my God… No!”
Pop.
Her scream dies in her throat until there’s only silence.
And there’s the proof. He killed her. Shot her. Fuck if I know anymore. But he did it.
Once the video stops, I hand the phone back to Michael. “Is that all?”
“That’s all I know.”
“Fuck them both.” I grit my teeth. “I’m done. They deserve each other.”