Chapter 20
ISEULT
We arrive back at my place, and having him here is already making me uneasy. I can just imagine when I’m in bed trying to sleep, worried he’ll hear me have a nightmare.
It was enough that he had seen me at my worst the last time. What if it happens again? I can’t have that. But I also don’t have a choice…unless I do kill him, in which case my father will kill me. So don’t think that’s much of a plan.
“You’re sleeping on the couch,” I inform him briskly.
He makes himself at home on my ivory suede sofa, his arms extended out, a smirk settling on his mouth as he gazes up at me.
“My, you’re some host,” he teases with a lopsided grin that has me feeling all kinds of ways. None of them acceptable.
I pop a brow. “I’m not hosting you. You literally invited yourself.”
“I may have.” His eyes scan the room, leisurely taking a swipe of my one-bedroom apartment.
There’s nothing particularly exciting here. Just a flat-screen TV on the wall with a bare round glass coffee table and a shaggy gray rug beneath it.
“I like your place.” His attention returns to me. “I didn’t have much time to tell you the last time, being that you were practically devouring me with that sexy mouth of yours.”
My eyes narrow. But I can’t deny it. I was.
“I’m going to my room now.”
I don’t care if it’s still early. I need to put distance between us, or else very bad things are bound to happen and someone is going to end up getting hurt. And the last thing I’d want to do is hurt my sister or make my father angry with me. I can’t lose my family over a man.
“Blankets and pillows are in the closet.” I point to a white door to my left. “Don’t bother me for the rest of the night.”
I try to walk away, but just as I turn, his fingers wrap around my wrist, roughly pulling me on top of him. His eyes bore into mine, his hands cupping my hips as he easily lifts me a fraction and forces my thighs on both sides of his.
“Now…that’s much better,” he husks all deep and gravelly, a sinful concoction of all things I shouldn’t crave. “I was starting to feel the distance between us.” His lips brush mine. “And I hated it.”
“What are you doing?” My voice grows raspy, belonging to anyone else but me.
There’s no way I sound this needy. This wanton. This free.
“I’ve missed you, Red.” His fingers curl around the small of my back, tracing up my spine until he weaves them into my hair, palm locked around the back of my head.
“Well, I’m sorry.” My lips twitch. “Wish there was a pill you could take for that.”
“And not feel what I feel for you whenever you walk into a room?” He lifts a hand and strokes his knuckles down my cheek. “That would be a sin, bambina.”
“Gio…” I breathe, not sure what I’m asking for.
“Yes?” He kisses the corner of my mouth, warm breaths scattering across my lips.
“We can’t do this. Someone will find out.” But instead of trying to get off, I find myself grinding my hips, his rigid cock pressing right where I need him.
“Let them find out. Let them try to tear me away from you.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
He groans, arching himself into me.
“This will start another war between the families. None of us want that.”
He drags himself away and looks at me, his gaze swimming with unparallel emotion. “You’re worth fighting for.”
My pulse picks up speed.
But I’m not, I want to tell him. I’m not worth much of anything.
“We can talk to him,” he goes on. “Make him understand.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “Even if this was something I wanted, it wouldn’t matter. When my father makes up his mind, that’s it.”
“Why couldn’t it be you? Why was it your sister?”
I let out a sharp exhale, feeling the weight of his eyes settling on mine. “I never wanted marriage. He knew that. He let me off the hook.”
“Your father doesn’t seem like the type of man to do that.”
My gut tightens.
“What happened to you?” he whispers.
The air traps in my lungs, his gaze unrelenting.
“Stop,” I tell him, my palm inadvertently cupping his face. “Don’t ask questions you’ll never get the answers to.”
“I’m not the enemy.” He pins his forehead to mine. “I want to help. Let me help you.”
Twined in his words is honesty—heavy, blistering honesty—but it doesn’t matter.
“I’m beyond help, Gio,” I admit the words I’ve often been afraid to say out loud.
But with him, right now in this moment, it feels as though I can say them.
“I refuse to believe that, baby.” A wrinkle deepens between his brows.
He actually believes that.
My heart stutters.
It feels almost like I’m stranded on the edge of a cliff, attempting not to free-fall right into his arms.
“Just don’t,” I say. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
He clutches the underside of my jaw, his gaze intense, bleeding with his emotions. “You’re so beautiful, Iseult. I hate knowing someone hurt you.”
A poignant smile slips from my mouth. “I’m still here, though. I fought. I survived.”
“Yes, you are.” His voice cracks a little, and my heart clenches.
With his palm against the back of my head, he pulls me against him, gripping me in his arms, pressing me into his body. My cheek hits his shoulder, his pulse maddening beneath my ear, and I don’t know if it’s from being close to me or what he assumes happened to me or both.
He softly brushes his hand up and down my back, and I let him because no one has ever held me or touched me this way. I never even realized how much I needed it until now. I nestle my arms around his neck and hold on tight, not wanting to overanalyze what any of this means.
His arms squeeze, and he kisses the top of my head, unleashing feelings in me too heavy to put into words.
He’s my sister’s fiancé. Yet he’s holding me like he’s mine.
“Why were you so upset today when the truth came out about your father and my mother?” he asks, his baritone smooth and deadly, enough to send me straight to hell.
“Because no matter how many years have passed since my mother’s death, I love her. And my allegiance is to her.”
“Was he not good to her?” He keeps stroking me still, and I could grab hold of this moment for as long as I live.
“He was. My father never did a thing to my mom, but he was never truly in love with her. Not completely.” I sigh. “She knew. Then I knew, and I’m kind of angry about it.”
“You? Angry?” He chuckles gruffly.
“Shut up, you idiot.” I laugh, and my God, if Kora saw me now, she’d think I’ve had a stroke for sure.
“I like it when you call me an idiot.” The cadence of his voice sparks a match in my heart.
“Really?” The smile on my face grows, and I couldn’t fight it if I tried. “Do you hate yourself that much?”
“It’s just, when you say it…” He sighs. “It sounds like something more.”
Because it is.
I’ve never been good with affection and words. It makes me feel naked, too exposed for someone else to pick apart my wounds. It’s easier to hide behind insults. Easier to pretend I don’t need anyone.
From within my pocket, my cell vibrates, and I slink down a hand to drag it out, straightening my back so I can see who’s calling.
Kora’s name appears. But when I try to get off so I can speak to her, he holds me hostage with both arms wrapped around me.
“Answer it,” he demands, an obvious challenge in both his words and his eyes.
And instead of fighting him, I press the call button.
“Hey, Kora.”
“Hey. How’s it going over there?” She’s loud enough for him to hear.
“It’s going. How’s everything back home? How’s Eriu?”
Gio’s eyes drink me in, large hands splayed across my hips. His thick bulge thrusts into me deliciously, and my body scurries with a warm current he put there.
“She’s fine. I’m keeping her company.”
I clear my voice, paying attention to the conversation.
“I was just calling to find out if you went shopping for your birthday party yet?”
“Your birthday’s coming up?” Gio instantly asks, sitting straighter, fingers dipping into my flesh.
My eyes widen with disapproval.
Shut up, I mouth. I can’t have anyone knowing we’re spending time together.
But he only grins like the smug bastard he is.
“Wait. Who are you with?” Kora asks before a gasp splits through the line. “Oh my God. Is that him? Are you with him? Did I just interrupt a bone session?”
Great. Now she knows.
“No one is boning anyone.”
“Hi, blonde friend,” he says, dropping his mouth into the phone.
“You’re totally fucking him.”
“I’m not,” I argue with her.
He opens his mouth to say something to her with a grin on his face, but I swat him hard across the chest to keep him quiet.
Laughter rumbles out of him.
“Going to hang up now,” I warn her.
“Wait! I wanted to know if you want to go shopping for some new outfits for your party. We need new dresses.”
“What party?” Gio asks, curiosity bathing his eyes.
He’s definitely not invited to that. It was Kora’s doing. I didn’t even want a party. I’m turning twenty-seven. Who cares? But she insisted, because she’s Kora. And of course, she invited everyone at the academy. My siblings too. I hate parties, and I especially hate being the center of attention.
“There is no party,” I quickly tell him.
“Liar!” Kora yells out. “It’s in five days at Iz’s place. You should come.”
“I’ll be there,” he tells her confidently, his eyes locked with mine like he dares me to argue with him.
Fuck.
The last person I need there is him. I can’t let anyone find out about us, and if he’s that close, someone may see something and catch on. I can barely fight this attraction as it is.
“You may not be able to,” I tell him. “With looking for Nicolette and all.”
“I’ll find a way.” There’s determination wedged between his words, and I know for certain he’s going to be there.
“I swear, Kora…” I grit. “If I didn’t actually like you, I’d move you to the top of my kill list.”
“Who’s number one there now?” she asks.
“Gio.” I look him dead in the face.
Her laugh fills my ear. “Sounds to me like your kill list is more like people you don’t actually want to kill.”
“Wanna test that theory?” I quip back.
“Nope. I’m good. ’Kay, gotta go. Love you. Nice talking to you, Gio. See you soon.”