Chapter 7
Chapter
Seven
Gina
“Start from the top again,” I heard Ramel say.
This was our third time starting over. I’d never done this many takes by myself, but I could already tell he was a perfectionist. In the short time I’d known him, I had learned that he liked things a certain way—the right way.
His studio was small, but it had everything we needed.
The equipment we were using to record, mix, and master the last two songs on my EP fit perfectly in his spare bedroom.
There was a small soundproof booth in the far-right corner of the room.
I’d been in there singing with everything I had in me for at least an hour.
I knew for sure Ramel would like what I’d put down this last time, but clearly, he was not impressed.
After working every day this week, we were still on the first song I wanted to record.
I couldn’t get past the one part I kept messing up on.
It was a rift and almost impossible for me to hit it just right.
I was okay with moving on and letting it be what it was going to be, but clearly, Ramel was not.
I’d always felt that done was better than perfect, which was why I never stressed over small mishaps.
That was what I felt like this was, a small mishap that would be easily forgotten once listeners heard the entire song.
I didn’t see the need to start over yet again, but Ramel had a way with words that made me want to listen to everything he had to say.
Besides, I had to admit, he had an ear for music. He could tell that something just wasn’t quite right with what I was doing. Knowing he was right and that I was going to do what he said anyway didn’t stop me from speaking my mind.
“Again?” I asked like I hadn’t heard him the first time.
“Yeah, again. It won’t take long. Let’s run through it again. He only glanced up at me for a few seconds before looking back down at the sound board. “You got it this time. I can feel it.”
Ramel let the beat ring out for me to catch, and I caught it just in time to sing the tune the way I knew he wanted me to.
Once I got that part right, the rest of the song just fell into place.
I really did my big one with the lyrics because I felt every word.
I knew this song would be a hit. I could feel it in my bones.
“Good. Good. That sounds perfect.”
Ramel stood from behind his desk, giving me a round of applause.
I took the headphones off my head and smiled.
I had to take a moment to sit in the accomplishment before I stepped back and took a bow.
I slipped out of the small booth before he had time to change his mind.
I knew he would be doing a playback soon, just to make sure it was exactly what he wanted.
“Come on out of there. You have to hear this for yourself.”
Ramel waved me over, and I did as I was told. Once out of the booth, I came around the big desk that housed his soundboard, computer monitors, and all the other gadgets he was using to turn my feelings into music.
We’d barely made it within arm’s length of each other when I fell into his chest like I belonged there.
Not only had I grown close to Ramel over the last two weeks, but I’d also started to feel at home in his presence.
We didn’t need to be working on music for me to want to be around him.
Things as simple as having a conversation in the diner became something I looked forward to as long as he was the person sitting across from me.
I was so thankful for Ramel opening his home to me and letting me use his studio.
If it weren’t for him, I didn’t know how I would have gotten those last two songs recorded and my album out as fast as I could.
I wanted people to hear me sing, and I didn’t want my name attached to my parents.
If I could get my music out on my own and gain the recognition I needed on my own, then I knew I could be successful.
It took me a long time to realize how capable I was.
I was learning that I could accomplish difficult things without my parents.
I didn’t need to ride their coattails, and I didn’t even need their approval.
It was taking acts of God to even get them to notice me these days, and I didn’t deserve to be half-loved.
“You really think so?” I asked, finally releasing him from the hug so I could look into his eyes.
I needed this song to be perfect. Not only did I need to prove to my parents that I didn’t need them to succeed at this, but I also needed to prove it to myself. Making sure this song and the entire EP were flawless was just one step in the right direction.
“I really do. You got something special here.”
“I appreciate you saying that. You didn’t have to do any of this. So, thanks again.” I rubbed Ramel’s shoulder as I spoke.
There were only so many ways I could say thank you to this man. Not only did he stick with me since my first night in town, but he also helped me get a job, and now he was helping me work on the biggest project of my life. I would forever be thanking God for meeting him when I did.
“You good. I don’t mind helping out where I can. I don’t be doing shit when I get off on most days. I’m in the gym early mornings, so my afternoons are pretty much free. I don’t go outside much.”
The day I met Ramel, he was the biggest asshole to me, but now I was getting to see the real him.
Ramel definitely had a hard ass exterior, but underneath all of that was a heart made of pure gold.
He was one of those men who it took a lot for him to open up, but I was seeing him open a little bit to me, and I was happy to see it.
“So, tell me, what were you doing in the bar the night we met, and how come I didn’t get to meet this you instead of whoever that was I spent the night with?”
“Honestly, we met on a bad night. I had some family stuff going on, so I needed a drink or two.”
“You keep mentioning that you have family stuff. You want to talk about it?”
“No, not really.”
“Come on. It can’t be as bad as my family, and you pretty much know everything I’m going through.”
“Honestly, I’m just not one of those people who talk about my family or my personal issues. No offense to you, though. I don’t mean nothing by it. I just like to keep my stuff to myself. That’s all.”
“Cool.”
I flashed him a fake smile and stood slowly before walking around to the opposite side of the table. I needed to put space between us, not only to keep Ramel from noticing the mood change, but also to keep me from wanting to be near him.
If he didn’t want to share parts of himself with me, that was fine.
Maybe I misread it. I thought we were getting to know each other, but it seemed that he was trying everything in his power to keep a distance between us.
This was sending mixed signals, and I didn’t like mixed signals.
I’d been rejected enough in one lifetime to put up with somebody else rejecting me.
I could take him not being interested in me. Maybe I wasn’t his cup of tea, but if that was the case, he needed to work on his signals because they were all messed up. If I were going to protect myself in all of this, I needed to set clear boundaries between us.
We weren’t getting to know each other on a personal level. This was work. He was helping me record my album, and I was appreciative. That was it.
“This is a pretty nice studio you’ve made here.”
I changed the subject because I needed to; if I got wrapped up in thinking about all the endless possibilities I could have with this man, I’d be stuck right there, wrapped up in the idea of us, an idea that probably would never happen.
I needed to keep focused on the main goal, and that was music.
My music was the only thing that truly mattered.