Chapter 10
I slept pretty well in spite of the fact I had a couple of dreams that were unsettling. I imagine this will be a normal occurrence for me for quite a long time. I decided that I wouldn’t dwell on them, there was no benefit in rehashing the past, and it would serve no purpose. I knew it was easier to say that than do it, but for my own sanity, for my future, I needed to try to look forward not behind. If I let the past control my future, it would be like letting him control my life still. It was time that I took that control back.
I climbed out of bed and went in, running myself a bath. It felt good to soak for a bit, I was still sore from the last couple of beatings, but definitely feeling better. The warm bath water seemed to help a lot. I soaked for a while until I decided I was hungry. Finishing off in the shower, washing my hair—which did not take nearly as much shampoo or conditioner as it had when it was long—then got out.
I looked in the closet and found a pair of shorts with a cute T-shirt to wear. I was rather tired of wearing pajamas and was ready to be dressed, like I was ready to face the day. I figured I would spend the day on the couch instead of in the bed—although I would not rule out the possibility of a nap this afternoon. I knew I needed to get rest today and tomorrow before I travel on Friday. I would rest and definitely do some crocheting today. Tomorrow I will pack for leaving.
I made some toast and coffee, then sat down to watch the news. I was not the top news story this morning although I was still a hot topic. The state police stated that they were unable to find the bodies of the thief/kidnapper or me. They were claiming we were considered dead, ruling the case closed. They showed a video of my husband leaving the police station with his head down, the perfect picture of a mourning husband.
I knew that he was not mourning my death, he was furious that I had escaped his control—no matter how I did it. I hoped that he would accept the state police’s decision and stop looking for me. A part of me suspected that he wouldn’t although I couldn’t see how he would proceed with looking for me. There did not seem to be any way that he could find out that I was alive or where I was. Part of me also knows that he is a cop, not just any cop but a well-decorated homicide detective.
I washed my breakfast dishes up, turning the TV to a different channel. Sitting on the couch, I picked up the blanket I was making for the baby and started working on it again. I was really pleased with the way it was going. It looked like the one in the instruction book, maybe not as neat, but it was definitely easy to see the pattern starting to take shape. The yarn Lauren and Eva gave me was so soft, it was going to make a nice baby blanket.
While I crocheted, I thought about the little house that I would have. I know I haven’t seen it yet, but I was already very excited to have it. I was told it was a 2-bedroom house, nothing more. I thought about coffee on the porch or the deck—if there was one—or just in the yard, watching the sunset or sunrise. I thought about the second bedroom, about the nursery I would create in there. I was starting to believe that I actually had a future that was going to be good, yet it was hard to believe that in two days this would actually be happening.
I vowed to take it easy today, following Audra’s orders of rest. Tomorrow I will do some laundry and start getting things packed for Friday. I didn’t know what the plan was for Friday, but I wanted to be ready to go. I made a mental note to ask Lauren about taking a few food items from the pantry with me.
I was wondering about groceries, small things that I would need right away. I have absolutely no money. Maybe I can ask Lauren for a small loan to get me by although I don’t know how I could repay it when we would not be able to stay in contact after I leave.
I sat crocheting on the baby blanket for most of the morning while listening to different TV shows or movies. I was making great progress on the blanket; I have to admit it looked fairly good for the first attempt. Hopefully, the baby would love it regardless of the little mistakes it may have.
I took a break at lunchtime and made myself a grilled cheese sandwich with a bowl of soup. After cleaning up from lunch, I decided I would go try to take a nap. Audra stressed that I would need to rest up as much as possible to let my body heal, to regain strength. I had to be strong for both me and the baby when we made the trip to our new home. I still didn’t know the details such as how I was traveling or if someone was taking me .
Hopefully, we will have a plan soon. I wished that Lauren and Eva could drive me there, but I didn’t think that would happen as I was pretty sure that they couldn’t know exactly where I ended up. As I lay in bed, snuggling up under the blanket, I let myself, again, think that maybe I would have a decent future. I dozed off dreaming of a future that was, as of yet, not certain.