Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Michael
I don’t go to my cabin. Too close to Emery is the excuse I give myself. But the truth is…I can’t be alone right now.
Normally, I deal with my demons by myself. It’s a bad habit I never kicked. I held the heartbreak inside when Dad died and never let it out.
But this morning threw me for a wild loop. I’m not feeling like myself. So I drive past my cabin and keep moving.
I don’t know where I’m even going until I tap the brakes in front of the main house at Wild Ranch. As soon as I look up at the rustic single-story home, I know what I need.
I park, get out of the truck, and head up to the back porch. No one is around, which I was hoping for. Luke and his brothers all get up at the crack of dawn to work on the ranch, so only one Wild should be in the house right now.
Ayden comes out of the guest bedroom as I’m entering the living room. He’s got his baby boy in his arms, but the little guy is fast asleep.
I reach for Harry on instinct, and Ayden hands him over without hesitation. He doesn’t know how much that means to me—his trust in me to care for his child.
“Hey,” he says.
I jerk my head in greeting, and then I spend a moment cuddling Harry, who was named in honor of our dad, his grandfather whom he’ll never know.
Harry already has the same shock of thick dark hair my dad blessed his two sons with. Ayden and Bella already affectionately call him Hal, the only name other than Dad that our father would answer to. And he already has all the Wilds wrapped around his finger.
When Ayden and Bella asked me to be the godfather, I thought they were pulling a prank. Surely, some other Wild would be better cut out for the role. But they were serious as all get out, and I’ll never forget standing up on the altar at Harry’s christening and holding him in my arms while he screamed as the holy water dripped on his forehead. He’s an angel, for sure, and his namesake would be proud.
I stare down at his chubby face, and as I gently touch one of his soft cheeks with my rough hand, a lump the size of the Atlantic Ocean forms in my throat.
When I glance back up at Ayden, he shoots me a closer look.
“I’ll put him into his crib and be back,” he says.
While I wait for him to return, I open the slider and step onto the back porch. I breathe in the smell of pine as I stare out at the fields of green framed by the mountain vista behind them. Such a beautiful view, not to mention the aroma of trees and crisp mountain air, but I’ll still take a stiff Maine breeze amidst the choppy waves of the Atlantic and salty air permeating my senses.
When I hear the slider open behind me, I turn around.
Ayden’s penetrating blue gaze washes over me like a familiar flannel I wear all autumn long before it gets too cold and I’m forced to turn to my winter coat.
I glance down at the baby monitor in his hand.
He places it carefully on the couch cushion nearest us. “Bella’s out with Savannah and Leleila for brunch.”
I nod before I shove my hands in my pockets and stare back at him.
My baby brother mimics my pose.
For a long beat, neither of us says anything, and I turn away to look out at the mountains again. But I can feel Ayden assessing me with his gaze. He knows me well enough not to ask any questions he knows I won’t answer.
Yet, the pain of what just happened is eating at me. And eventually, I break.
“Why the fuck does this always chase me?” I say roughly.
He furrows his brow. “I’m not following.”
I start to pace the porch. “I come all the way to Montana, and it’s still here. Always freaking here.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Ayden stands still while I walk a full circle around him.
“I’m fucking sick over it.”
He cocks his head. “Wait. Are you talking about your boat?”
I shake my head. “Lucky Queen.”
Ayden’s expression stills. “Lucky Queen?”
“Yeah.”
“Dad’s boat.”
His voice is barely above a whisper, but you could hear a pin drop on the porch right now, and Ayden’s last two words out of his mouth sound as heavy as a coffin we never got the chance to bury our father in.
I stop pacing and go take a seat on the couches. Ayden sits on the same couch, the one where we’re facing away from the gorgeous view. We’re staring at the main house through the slider window, but with the glare of the sun, we can’t see inside. I venture to say we decided to sit this way on purpose—it’s like the beauty of the natural world behind us isn’t a match to the painful topic we’re about to discuss.
“Fill me in.”
Ayden’s demand is anything but aggressive. He sounds nearly on the brink of tears, the same way I feel.
And that’s why I’m here.
Because Ayden gets it.
It’s hard to explain to someone else what it’s like to lose someone who’s never been found.
Just how hard it is to give up hope.
Just how much it hurts.
Just how confusing it is.
And just how many fucking times you go to the door expecting to see him…
Standing there with his crooked smile.
Winking at you that it was all a big fucking cosmic joke.
Swearing that he didn’t mean for the joke to go this far but he just couldn’t help himself. Ma would scream and cry and throw herself into his arms, simultaneously hitting him for doing this to her and kissing him because she had the love of her life back. Relieved that the father of her two sons was here and she wouldn’t have to play both mom and dad to two boys who were angry and sad and without a role model.
Logically, of course, when the storm hit and the Lucky Queen with twelve men never returned, we all knew then. This was it. Life would be forever changed.
In order to fill Ayden in, I have to start at the beginning.
“I met a woman last night.”
“You mean your blind date.”
“No. Not the blind date woman. A different woman. She was…”
I pause, flashing back to Emery and how her eyes lit up when we talked. How her hair was so lush and shiny I had to restrain myself from running my hands through it. How her energy lit me up.
Ayden raises his eyebrows. “Well, this is a first.”
“What is?”
“I’ve never seen you look fucking smitten before.”
I flip him off. “We connected. And then this morning, she dropped her purse and…” I suck in a breath before forcing the rest of the words out. “And a Lucky Queen pin fell out.”
I hear Ayden’s breath whoosh out of him.
“What the hell…” he mutters. “How is that possible?”
I shrug. “A shitty joke by the Universe? I have no fucking clue how she got it. It made me realize I have no clue who she even is.”
“So ask her.”
Those three words are said with certainty. Finality.
And that scares me.
Because…
The potential answer could change everything between Emery and me.
“I don’t know if I can. We just met.”
“So? You like her, right?”
“I…” I swallow. “It was casual.”
“The look on your face when you talk about her would call you a damn liar.”
“I never should have come here.” I stand up.
“Then why did you?” Ayden stands up too and faces me.
His mouth is set in that half-frown he gets when he’s pissed at me. But it’s different between us now. Ayden’s someone’s husband. He’s someone’s dad.
He’s gone past me.
And we both know it.
He knows and understands things that I can’t possibly.
I sit back down and gesture for him to continue .
He retakes his seat. “If you like this woman as much as it seems, maybe she’s worth telling the truth to.”
“You mean…”
“Yeah. The whole story. I know that’s scary. And why the hell would you want to open up that box, right? I fucking hate talking about it too. But eventually, if things between you continue, she’d need to know anyway.”
I exhale a heavy breath. “You got damn lucky with Bella. She already knew everything there was to know.”
He shoots me a half-smile. “You think that’s the only thing about Bella I got lucky with?”
“Point taken. Bella’s a superstar, and you’re lucky she feels the same about you.”
“Very true.” Ayden pauses. “The curse isn’t real, Michael. Trust me.”
I go silent for a moment as I ponder the conviction in his tone. People in our hometown back in Maine like to gossip that our family is cursed. Dad drowned and Granddad skipped town when he went bankrupt. Ayden and I never believed we could be anything different. But Ayden always had Bella. They’ve been best friends since they were kids, and their connection is unbreakable. I knew eventually he’d have to go all-in with her, and he did.
A rustling sound behind us gets my attention, and I look over my shoulder.
That’s when I see a midnight-colored head poking up from the large bush at the edge of the porch.
When the head starts moving, and Emery emerges from the bush, I stand up.
“Shit.”