Chapter 39
CHAPTER 39
MEYER
“Meyer, I promise everything is going to be great.”
I smooth a hand over my outfit again, inspecting it in the mirror. I debated wearing a dress today, mainly because I like the way Jackson looks at me when I do, but I knew I would feel more confident in pants. And I need all the confidence I can get right now.
Today, the mayor’s daughter is getting married. I wonder if she’s half as nervous as I am, because I am on the verge of freaking out.
Those fears of disappointing my mom and ruining the inn have faded over the last couple months, but it would be a lie to say that they’ve completely gone away. I’m not sure if they ever will, truthfully. But I’ve learned to take that scary next step anyway, even if I’m convinced I will fail. Because chances are, things will work out just fine.
My eyes flit from my clothing to Jackson, who stands over my shoulder. “You’re right,” I say. “And if it’s not, I’ll place the blame on you. ”
He steps closer, his chest pressed to my back, and snakes his arms around my waist. He grins as he places a kiss on top of my head. “Ah, so that’s why you’ve been keeping me around. Insurance in case things go wrong.”
I tip my head back, looking up at him. “Precisely. I’m glad you know where you stand.”
I turn in his arms, and then I reach for his face, turning it to the side. The bruising on his head from that day in the flower shop has faded considerably, but the faint traces still make anger coat my veins.
Felix was arrested, but I can’t help feeling like that wasn’t enough. Like there isn’t a punishment fit enough for hurting Jackson. Is this what it means to love someone like this? Because it kind of sucks, this constant worry over his health and happiness. I wouldn’t change it for the world, though.
“Hey,” Jackson says, drawing me out of my thoughts, “not today. Don’t let him ruin today.”
I nod. “You’re right.”
Dramatically, he places a hand on his chest. “Twice in the span of one conversation? Who are you and what have you done with my Meyer?”
I roll my eyes, but a smile stretches my lips. “ Your Meyer has gone soft. Something about being in love or whatever. Gross.”
Jackson traces my cheekbone with his thumb, hands caressing my face. “No, you’ve been like that all along. You just allow me the privilege of seeing it now. Seeing you. And that is the greatest gift you could ever give me.”
Letting Jackson in wasn’t a conscious decision, but it was the best I’ve ever made. Not only is the inn thriving, but I feel more like myself than I ever have before. That eighteen-year-old girl who felt like her world was being torn apart had no idea what was in store for her.
I swallow my emotions. “Stop being sweet, you’ll make me ruin my makeup.”
He leans down and kisses me, and I’m tempted to stay like this forever.
“I love you,” I say when we part.
His irises almost sparkle. “I love you, too,” he replies. “Now let’s go to a wedding.”
The green space off the side of the inn has been transformed in a matter of hours. Chairs and tables have been set up beneath the large tent to shade everyone from the sun, and flowers from Ilsa’s shop have been placed all around.
“Meyer!”
Turning in her direction, I watch Ilsa pick her way through the crowd of people still setting up. Her hair is thrown into a messy bun, and bits of flower stems are caught in it.
“Hey,” I say. “You have something in your hair.”
She laughs as I pick out the pieces for her. “This morning has been a little chaotic.”
After the shock of the revelations wore off, I went to see Ilsa armed with a list of questions. It was hard to even know where to begin, but I needed answers. I think Ilsa needed to give them to me, too. She had been holding on to them for so long.
Felix hadn’t known she was pregnant. She had managed to keep it a secret until his family moved him away, and by then, she was too afraid to tell anyone. When she had finally given birth to me as a terrified sixteen-year-old, she hadn’t known what to do. She ended up leaving me at the fire station, and that’s when Mom found me.
I came away from that conversation with a lot of mixed emotions. Jackson stayed up with me all night as I talked everything through, and he held me when I couldn’t fight the urge to cry anymore. The tears were for me, for Ilsa, for growing up with her so near, yet never having the chance to truly know her.
But it wasn’t long before I decided that I want her in my life. She’s always been there, really, but now things feel different. The truth makes everything feel different.
“Thank you for doing all this,” I say. “The flowers look beautiful.”
A bright smile lights up her face. “Thank you for recommending me to the bride and groom. I’m glad I was able to help make their day special.”
I glance at my phone, noting the time. “Speaking of, I should probably go check on the food. I’ll see you later!”
“Meyer, wait.”
I spin around, facing her again. “Yeah?”
Ilsa wrings her hands together. “For what it’s worth, I am…immensely proud of the woman you’ve come to be. Watching you grow, even from afar, has been a joy and a privilege.”
I blink back the tears threatening to fall. Between her and Jackson, I’m surprised my makeup has survived at all today.
“That means more to me than you’ll ever know. ”
I close the space between us and throw my arms around her, sinking into her embrace. She holds me just as fiercely, and the remaining nerves I have about today simply melt away.
At the end of the night, Jackson and I both practically collapse on my bed.
Since everything that happened with Felix, we’ve been tiptoeing around talking about us. Our future. I know Jackson loves me, and I love him, but I need to know what that means . Now that the wedding is out of the way, I can’t hold myself back from asking.
“Jackson,” I say into the quiet.
My bedroom is dark, save for the moonlight filtering through the curtains we forgot to close. We’ll probably regret it in the morning, but I know neither one of us is willing to get out of bed to fix it.
“Yeah, baby?”
I turn on my side to face him. “When do you go back to the city?” I ask, tentative.
“My leave is up at the end of September,” he replies.
My heart sinks. “Oh.”
That doesn’t give us much time at all. A couple weeks, at best, since he’ll likely want to return early to get settled back into his condo. The thought of it makes me sad. Toronto is only a few hours away, so it isn’t as if we can’t make it work, but not having him here feels wrong .
He doesn’t say anything for a moment, and then, “Ask me to stay.”
My breath catches. “What?”
“Ask me to stay, Meyer, and I will. I’ll quit my job and sell my condo, and I won’t look back.” He cups my cheek. “But you have to ask. I have to know you want this as much as I do.”
I don’t hesitate.
“ Yes . Stay. Please, stay.”
I don’t even care that my words come out like a plea. Don’t care if that makes me seem desperate. Because I am. For Jackson, I am. I want him close—need him.
“ Thank God .” He releases an overly dramatic breath of relief. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Jackson guides me onto my back, and then he’s hovering over me, smiling. I grin back, looping my hands around the back of his neck. And when he kisses me, I feel it—that thing I’ve been quietly searching for since I was a lonely teenager, drunk in a field. It fills my heart up until it overflows, and I sink further into Jackson’s embrace.
“I love you,” I whisper when we pull apart.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that. But fuck, Meyer, I love you, too.”
He kisses me again, and I get lost in the feel of him.
“I think we should start renting the cottage out,” he muses. “Guests would love the secluded feel.”
“That’s a great idea,” I say, “except I kind of live here.”
“Not for long.” His eyes gleam with hope and mischief. “I have big plans for us, Ellison. ”
The person I was six months ago would have picked a fight. Wouldn’t have wanted to hear him out because she was afraid of change. But this new version of me takes comfort in the fact that whatever lies ahead, she doesn’t have to handle it alone.
“I can’t wait.”