Chapter 12 Sydney
Ihadn’t woken up this hungover next to a man I’d just met since college.
In this case, two men and they were actually demons.
We didn’t actually do anything except have a lot of fun and pass out.
Lucifer had one of those sectionals that might as well have been a giant bed and we were all too messy to make it back to our bedrooms.
Kujo was an idiot and decided he was going to make it to his bed, anyway. Dudes, he did not make it. He was face down on the floor drooling. If he hadn’t wanted to crash on the sectional, he could have slept in one of the chairs, but I guess he wanted to be stubborn.
I will say this. Felid demons and an incubus knew how to snuggle. I hadn’t slept that well in a long time. I was smashed between them and Nero’s tail was curled around my leg. Was it weird Nero had a tail and Celix didn’t? I wasn’t going to question it.
I shifted to get up because I had to piss like a race horse. Celix growled and tightened his arm around me. Damn, he was strong.
“Best let her up unless you’re into getting pissed on,” Nero yawned. “Sorry, incubus thing.”
“Not complaining if it gets me to the toilet.”
They let me up, and I made a beeline for the bathroom. Don’t ask me how I forgot about the demon passed out on the rug, but I tripped over him and nearly face planted.
“Don’t put the pineapple up my ass!” Kujo groaned, rolling over.
Yeah, I’d unpack that later. Bathroom first. This place was massive, but thankfully, Lucifer had toilets everywhere, so I didn’t have to hunt one down.
I’d never been more relieved to take a piss in my life.
And Lucifer seemed to have bidets installed in all his bathrooms, so I wouldn’t have to hunt some down and put them in.
There were way more bathrooms in this place than mine.
I definitely needed massive amounts of coffee and a greasy breakfast. When I got back to the living room, Celix was nudging Kujo with his foot and Kujo was muttering about pineapples being evil.
“Should we put him on the sectional?” Nero asked.
“No way. He’s got at least two demon blades on him and he tried to stab me last time.”
“How come you two are less hungover than us?”
“Alcohol from Hell would kill a human. The otherness of it is toxic. This was distilled by Lucifer, so it’s very strong. It hit Kujo harder because he’s half human. It’s hitting you right now because your magic hasn’t fully manifested. It’ll get easier,” Celix said.
“Kujo has some hangups about being Cambion. He hates his mom, but he hates his dad, too, for not stepping up. His whole life would have been different if his dad had also been a Fury. He thinks he’s got to go harder at everything to prove he belongs here.
He’s strong as fuck and he’s got full Fury powers, but he’s never going to be able to handle booze like a full demon. ”
I heard a throat clear and turned. There was a demon butler standing there. I could tell he was the butler because of how he was dressed. He had a wolfish look about him. Canid demon? He was also bowing, which made me incredibly uncomfortable.
“Hey, just treat me like you would anyone else. This is all really weird for me. Can you spread the word?”
“Of course. We have a brunch prepared for Wrathhog’s arrival, but would you like us to make you all Lucifer’s hangover remedy?”
“Hot damn, you sweet motherfucker, yes.”
“Erm, yes. Make yourself comfortable and we’ll bring it out.”
“It’s not actually Lucifer’s recipe,” Celix said. “Angels didn’t really use potions. Lilith taught them. Any potions and remedies we have here are because of her.”
“As long as it works. Is he going to be okay?” I asked, nodding at Kujo.
He’d rolled on his side and curled into the fetal position. He almost looked…sweet like this. If a demon covered in tattoos could look sweet.
“Oh, yeah. If you wake him up, he’ll try to stab you. We’re just going to dribble a bit of the potion down his throat and he’ll be much nicer when he wakes up.”
“I’m going to trust you on that.”
“Ah, here we go.”
Two demons came in with tall glasses on a platter. The liquid was purple and sparkly. I didn’t care as long as it got rid of my hangover. I probably should have asked a lot more questions, but I also felt like shit, so I upended the magic demon potion and gulped it down.
“Hey, it tastes like that grape drink from when I was a kid that doesn’t actually taste like grapes. It just tasted purple. This tastes purple.”
“Tell the grapefruit to stop staring at me like that or I’ll gut it,” Kujo muttered.
“Does he do that often?”
“Oh, yeah. Kujo has lucid dreams. Some demons have a touch of the sight. It starts with lucid dreaming. When Kujo gets a little older, he’s probably going to get visions.
He doesn’t want anyone to know. The furies shun him because he’s a Cambion, but they’d pretend like they didn’t and try to use him for his visions. ”
“You’ve got people here who get visions and none of them have found Lucifer? Seems sketchy.”
They both looked at each other like they didn’t want to tell me, so I put my hands on my hips and glared at them.
“Out with it!”
“Okay, so demons have their favorite among the monarchy. Lucifer is fair and wants equality. So do Satan and Abaddon. You’d think all the demons want that, but they don’t.
You’ve got the factions that want to abolish the monarchy altogether, but you’ve also got some who want someone else in charge.
People could have Seen where he is and chosen not to share it.
They could have Seen it and shared it with the prince they want to be king. It’s complicated,” Celix said.
“And visions don’t work like that. They don’t always See what they want when they want to. We’ve had people reading tarot cards, but they haven’t been able to narrow anything down, either.”
“But Kujo is on our side and he might eventually see something.”
“Kujo is an anarchist. He wants to burn the whole system down. You actually did him a favor. He hates fetching Cambion kids. He doesn’t want the job, and he thinks instead of forcing other demons to do it, Hell should make the parents accountable.
If they can’t use proper protection, then they need to stick around and be there when their kids find out they aren’t totally human.
Some of them think it’s cool, but some hurt people and they are scared.
You got him out of the job he hates giving us this promotion. ”
“He’s right. I get mine might not have had a choice, and I grew out of it eventually, but there was a phase of my childhood where I had all these hangups that he bailed because I wasn’t good enough.
It sucks. No kid should have to go through that.
Kujo had it worse because it was his mom and his dad. ”
“We know. And thank you. Kujo can be a lot, but he’s our friend. He’s not completely unreasonable. If he gets a vision about Lucifer, he’ll realize his best bet of blowing up the system is by helping the original rebel.”
“Can you get that potion in him? It’s already made me feel better and I kind of feel bad for the asshole. That looks uncomfortable.”
Whatever the fuck was in that potion was literally better than any greasy food I would have eaten at the campus diner in college when I was hungover.
It was like I hadn’t even drank an entire bottle of whiskey made by Lucifer with three demons, maybe got up to some really raunchy dancing to The Cure, and then passed out on the couch.
Which meant since I didn’t have to suffer the consequences, I was probably going to do it again and again.