2. Sydney
Ijust murdered Kujo’s entire family, injured several people I was starting to care about, and I could barely move because my wings were really heavy and fragile at the moment.
One just did not have time for posturing men at the moment.
Celix and Nero were passed out, but Wrathhog was my new bestie and I didn’t know if she was okay or not.
The Prince of Wrath didn’t look like his wrath was aimed at me, so I was guessing she was okay. Still, someone in this room kidnapped my father and sent the Furies after Kujo.
“We’re discussing this, but not in here. You shouldn’t have barged in. Sydney’s wings are still fragile.”
“And bronze. Even Kir’s wings were black. Were you trying to hide this from us?” Asmodeus demanded.
“I know, right? I was hoping for rainbow wings.”
I knew they were supposed to be black or white, but I liked what I could see of them.
I’d been alone in here with three sleeping demons since Satan’s servants helped me in here and helped me get cleaned up.
I knocked all of them out, but aside from feeling like I’d just done cocaine at the goth club in college, I was aware of everything.
I saw what I did to Kujo’s family. Deep down, I knew they deserved it. They abandoned Kujo and abused him. They agreed with Hell keeping its boot on Celix and Nero’s necks. It was basically like I used a hand grenade as a butt plug and ball gag on them. They were everywhere.
“Her wings are what they are, and if you damage them so she can’t fly, I’ll maim yours so you can’t either. Whatever you have to say, you aren’t doing it in here. Get out,” Satan said.
“Wait. How is Wrathhog?” I asked.
Because she wasn’t here and I couldn’t bear it if I hurt her. Celix and Nero were still completely out.
“She’s fine. My daughter is also half-angel. She was just stunned a bit. She’s already recovered and is at your dad’s house trying to figure out who drugged me while I deal with things here. She’ll be back. Try not to get too stressed. It’s not good for you in this condition.”
“That’s the equivalent of telling your wife to calm down when she’s mad at you, big guy.”
“Well, I wasn’t the one who pissed you off. They exploded all over my front lawn, but point taken. They piss me off most of the time, but I’d rather not clean my brothers off the wall.”
“Are we going to talk about her exploding demons?” Beelzebub hissed.
“Not here. Get out,” Satan said, forcing them out of the room.
“Um, help me out here because I would have spontaneously combusted if I set foot in a church before all of this, but is exploding entire families not a thing angels can do?”
“Who exploded?” Nero groaned.
Oh, thank fuck. I immediately tried to get up and hug him and flopped back down on my stomach. How exactly was I supposed to go to the bathroom like this?
“What the fuck are you wearing, Kujo?” Celix asked.
Kujo looked down. He usually wore all black and showed off his tattoos. He was wearing khaki pants and a white polo shirt . I was trying not to giggle because it looked so out of place on him.
“Oh, hell,” he swore.
“Sorry, you were covered in your mom. The servants used magic to clean you off. Apparently, they can magic clothes on and take them off, but they can’t conjure them from scratch.
All our stuff is still at Lucifer’s, and they didn’t know how Satan would feel about raiding his closet.
They dressed all of you in their uniform. ”
“If I move, I’m going to split these trousers,” Nero said.
“I won’t complain if you flash me.”
“Nope. No sexy time while your wings are so fragile. They are gorgeous, by the way. What happened after you exploded? That’s the last thing I remember.”
“She took out an army of Furies,” Kujo said.
“The other princes found out and invaded our personal space again. They saw her wings, and they knew what she did. And they were right. My family has always been loyal to Satan, and he was conveniently missing when they came for me. We went straight to him when we realized I was seeing where Lucifer was. He might be the one who started all of this.”
“Dude, no way. He and Abaddon are the only ones I don’t want to make a chainsaw hand and chop their wings off and then blow their heads off with my boomstick.”
“That’s oddly specific.”
“If I’m stuck in bed while my wings firm up, Hell had better have a decent supply of horror movies. The good ones with practical effects, campy one-liners, and virgins triumphing over evil. Some people like to relax to serial killer documentaries. Eighties horror is how I destress.
“Also, why would Satan have Wrathhog teach us all angel fighting secrets if it was him? He could definitely kick my ass, but I figure all four of us could take him.”
“Uh, the only people capable of taking Satan are Lucifer and Abaddon. Lucifer is missing and Abaddon is now a pacifist who just wants to live his life surrounded by lots of incubi,” Celix said.
“Well, if it is him and he thinks we’re onto him, he’ll kill us all before we can say anything.”
Yeah, we needed to play this carefully, but I just didn’t get vibes it was him. I’d been wrong about men before, though.
Karl was a giant, projectile vomiting example of that.