23. Sydney
Beelzebub was the only setting off Nero’s Spidey senses? That dude hadn’t spoken two words to me since I got here. Didn’t he have some kind of Lord of Roaches thing going on? Or maybe flies. I knew he had some gross bug thing going on from writing research.
I remember someone who knew him saying he was a twisted fuck. That twisted fuck looked terrified at the moment because most of his brothers were starting to glow a bit.
“What? I did not kidnap Lucifer!”
“You can’t lie to an incubus. I made them that way. I’m betting Celix knows you’re lying too because you can’t fib to Felid and Canid demons.”
Yeah, I could tell Celix knew Beelzebub was being squirrelly about something, but didn’t exactly appreciate getting dragged into the current shit show.
“Well, I am feeling a certain way, but not about that. I didn’t touch Lucifer.”
Yeah, but he might know who did. Some of the fallen wanted to go back home. Some of the angels still wanted revenge on Lucifer for the rebellion. They could be working together. One of the angels snatched Lucifer in the mortal realm with intel from a fallen.
“You’d better started talking.”
“I didn’t kidnap Lucifer, I fucked your wife.”
I did not see that coming.
“Whose wife?” Belphegor demanded.
“Um, all of them? Not Cedonia. She’s too loyal to Satan. But the rest of your wives, yeah.”
I did not see that coming either.
Satan looked like he knew damned well his wife hadn’t cheated on him with Belphegor, but the rest of them looked utterly shocked. I mean, I’d only spent a few days around these lads and I already couldn’t stand them and had them pegged for being selfish lovers.
“See? This is what happens when you take up with any woman, much less a demon woman,” Mammon said.
“Preachy McFeatherface, the common denominator in all that infidelity is a man and your thirsty ass brother. I’m guessing they wouldn’t have stepped out on a fallen angel unless another fallen angel promised to protect them if they got caught.
Except Beelzebub folded faster than a dude who’s had his nuts flicked, so really, that’s his fault, too. ”
“I can’t believe you fucked my wife!” Belphegor snapped.
“You can have mine. Frankly, we’ve grown apart, and I was thinking of replacing her,” Asmodeus said.
Dick.
“Dude, it seems like she replaced you first,” I pointed out.
“Not helpful,” Satan said.
“I’m helpful and an absolute fucking delight.”
“Beelzebub, you have your choice of women and men in this realm and the mortal realm. Why would you go after their wives? And mine wouldn’t need to tell me you tried so I could beat you to a pulp. She would have done that on her own.”
Beelzebub just shrugged.
“I was bored. When you’ve been alive as long as I have, you have to get your jollies where you can.”
“Again, you could have gotten your jollies with a demon or a human.”
“It was the challenge of it all.”
“A challenge would have been pulling that shit with my mother,” Wrathhog said.
“I was bored, not stupid.”
Yeah, they could go away now. They were way too old for this shit. I wouldn’t have believed Asmodeus, but Nero confirmed he wasn’t lying. I believed Nero.
Nero knew his magic way better than I did and there was always a loophole. I needed to find out if that was the entire story.