Chapter 23
MADDOX
"Eve doesn't like our present?" Sofia asked as we walked through town.
I sighed. "I think she's under a lot of pressure. Remember, a pipe burst in one of the shops, and now she's worried that all the plumbing need to be replaced. She manages this entire town. It's a lot."
"She should go away for a weekend and take a break from everything."
"She doesn't feel like she can do that right now.
" My tone was flat because I was disappointed too.
I didn't know what I expected, but it wasn't to be immediately shut down.
I thought she might be excited about the prospect of getting away.
I know it wasn't the best timing, but it was a Christmas present, and that was the only weekend my parents could watch Sofia.
They were leaving after Christmas to go on an Alaskan trip, and they'd be gone for a month.
Sofia's lower lip protruded.
"Maybe she'll change her mind once she's had time to think about it." I wasn't sure about that. I would have thought she'd be excited about the prospect of getting away together for a weekend without Sofia.
Her reaction made me rethink everything. Was it a bad idea to get more involved with someone who preferred to work over spending time with loved ones?
Was I being too quick to judge? I didn't even tell her the good news. Frank had met with me this morning to tell me that the chief's position was mine if I wanted it. Everyone was impressed with my work the last few weeks and were convinced that I was the right choice for the job.
I'd wanted to share the news with Eve, but we hadn't even gotten that far. I hadn't wanted to talk to her about it, not after she'd been so upset about the gift.
Was it a mistake to get involved with someone who didn't have kids of their own?
She didn't understand how important work-life balance was.
We were in different stages of our lives.
I took a promotion that would allow me to spend more time with Sofia.
But Eve had taken on a project that would occupy her time.
It wasn't fair to say she had to give up her career. But our priorities were different.
My mind was spinning, and I couldn't get off the constant loop of worry. I went to my parents' house, thinking I could talk to them about it.
I knocked on the door before I used my key. When I opened the door, Mom said, "In the kitchen."
Mom stood at the counter. "You're just in time. I'm about to take the brownies out of the oven."
"You baked brownies?" Sofia asked excitedly.
"If you consider cooking from a box baking," Mom joked, pointing at the red box sitting on the counter.
Sofia frowned. "When I baked with Eve, she used all these ingredients: flour, sugar, and baking powder? I can't remember the rest of the names."
"I prefer the easy method."
"I like baking with Eve," Sofia said, but her voice was softer. She was still upset about Eve's reaction.
Mom gave me a look. "Why don't you find Grandpa? He's supposed to be fixing the toilet upstairs, and he might need help?"
"I love to fix things," Sofia said, her eyes brighter than a few seconds ago. She ran out of the room and up the stairs.
"What's going on? You seem upset, and you stopped by without letting me know. That's not something you usually do."
I sighed. "We wanted to get Eve the perfect gift for Christmas."
"You let Sofia help you?" Mom opened the oven; the door squeaked. She picked up the pan with oven mitts and placed it on the stove to cool.
I sat on one of the stools at the island. "Yeah, she wanted to be part of it."
Mom filled a glass with ice and water.
"Sofia suggested a weekend away."
"That's why you asked about us watching Sofia for the weekend?" Mom asked, handing me the glass.
I gripped the cool glass. "I made reservations for this weekend, thinking she'd want to get away from work."
"I take it that you gave her the gift, and she's not happy about it?"
I blew out a breath. "That's an understatement. She seemed upset with me. And now Sofia's upset."
"You don't like when anyone upsets Sofia."
"Of course not. She's gone through enough already."
"I'm wondering if this was a present you should have discussed with Eve first. This is her first year running Christmas Town. I heard they just had a flood in one of the shops and maybe a second. Is that right?"
"She thinks all the pipes are the same material and will need to be replaced sooner rather than later to prevent more flooding."
"She's in the middle of a crisis at work."
I blew out a breath. "It's not like anyone's dying."
This time, Mom sighed. "Just because it's not life or death doesn't mean it's not important."
"She said she put all their savings into buying and renovating the inn and surrounding town."
Mom nodded. "Sounds like she put a lot into this, and she doesn't want to lose it."
"She's always talking about the owners who depend on her to keep the town running," I said, remembering everything she'd said over the last few weeks.
"It sounds like she's under a lot of pressure."
I nodded. "Did I mess up?"
Mom touched my hand. "You have a big heart, and you wanted to do something nice for a person you care about."
"I think I more than care about her."
"Oh?" Mom said innocently, as if she wasn't wondering the same thing.
"I think I might love her. I know it seems soon—"
Mom shook her head. "There's no right timeline when it comes to love. It happens when it does."
"What if she doesn't love me? What if I made a huge mistake getting involved with someone who isn't a parent and can't understand what that's like?"
"She seems to like Sofia."
"She does, but she's been working a lot lately. I'm worried that she isn't as into this relationship as I am. That she's putting work first. What if she doesn't fit into my life?"
"You're saying she shouldn't put work first sometimes?"
"I understand that things come up, but she's working around the clock. She has a full bathroom in her office, and I saw clothes hanging on hooks. I think she's sleeping there."
"Are you concerned about whether she's taking care of herself?"
I sighed. "It's more than that. I want her to put us first. Is that wrong?"
Mom shook her head. "It's not."
"But it's not right either?" I sensed a but was coming.
"Relationships are about compromise. Is there one that you can come to here, or is this a deal breaker for you?"
"I scheduled the reservations for a time when I knew it would be hard for her to get away. I think I was testing her."
Mom pursed her lips. "That's not very nice."
I looked away from her. "I had to know if she'd put us first."
"And of course, she failed. She didn't know she was being tested or that you wanted something that she wasn't giving."
My brows furrowed. "You're saying I should talk to her?"
"Relationships are about compromise and communication."
"That's a yes," I muttered.
"How can you expect her to give you what you want if you don't tell her?”
"Is it so wrong that I wanted her to put us first?"
"Not at all. But you have to tell her that's what you want, and then you can come to a compromise together. How did you leave things with her?"
"We gave her the gift. She said she couldn't go, and that was it. She was obviously busy, and I had to get out of there."
"Odds are that she has no idea that you're upset about this. Or she does, and she feels as badly as you do."
"She probably already forgot about the gift and us."
Mom gave me a look. "That's impossible. How can she not realize what a catch you are?"
"I'm not sure she sees it that way." She was willing to hook up with me in the middle of the night. She never asked for more. I was the one who said we should see each other at other times. I was the one who brought her into my daughter's life.
Would she even have cared if we continued to hook up?
We did it the other night, and she never protested when I fucked her against the door, then expected her to leave.
Maybe this was a good arrangement for her.
She saw me as unavailable, which was good for her.
She could work as much as she wanted and get a physical release when she needed one.
But that didn't jive with how we'd spent time decorating my tree, baking with Sofia, or building the light trail. That was nice, and she seemed as into it as I was. "Did I make a mistake?"
"I don't think love is a mistake. You can learn from relationships, but they're not a waste of time."
"I don't know."
She patted my hand. "It will work out. I promise."
She said I needed to talk to Eve, but I didn't feel like I could. Not yet.
Sofia ran into the room. "He fixed it!"
"Did he now? That toilet's been running for years. Did you know that he'd turn it off at night so it wouldn't wake us up?"
"Why didn't you ask me to take a look at it?" I asked Mom.
Mom rolled her eyes. "It was Dad's job to fix. I just can't believe it took so long for him to do it."
"What's Grandpa doing now?" Mom asked Sofia.
"He said he had to clean up."
Mom chuckled. "I suppose that's why you hightailed it out of there."
Sofia giggled.
"It sounds like you were a good helper, and I'm sure Grandpa enjoyed the company. I'd say he earned his brownies."
We talked for a while longer while Mom poured lemonade and cut the brownies. Dad joined us when he was done in the bathroom. It was a nice afternoon.
I wished I could have spent it with Eve, but she had to work.
How could she have time to see us if she was sleeping in her office? I still couldn't believe she was doing that. It showed that she went all in on work and not us.
Maybe it was bad timing with the pipe bursting and Christmas quickly approaching. But this was the time of year that you were supposed to spend with loved ones. And Eve was busier than ever.
She took on more work than she needed to, and that was frustrating. She should delegate tasks, hire more help, and let others clean up their messes. But instead, she took everything on herself.
It was commendable, but it took away from spending time with Sofia and me.
We ended up staying for dinner because I felt unsettled, and it was easier to let Mom cook for us. Dad played a game with Sofia while I helped Mom clean the dishes.
"What are you going to do about Eve?"
"I don't know. I have to think about it." My first thought was to distance myself from her. No more visits to her office or invitations to come over at midnight.
"I know you'll do the right thing."
"I don't know what that is anymore."
"I wonder if you're scared that she'll leave you, or that she’ll replace you with her work.”
That made me pause. "Why would you think that?"
"It's a natural fear after you've lost a loved one. You'll be afraid to lose other people in your life. You might leave them first, so you don't have to go through that pain again."
I hadn't thought about it like that before. Maybe I should talk to my new friends about that or even my therapist. I wasn't going to solve this issue quickly. I needed time to think.
"Maybe scheduling that bed-and-breakfast trip before Christmas wasn't the best timing. Maybe you set yourself up to be disappointed."
Is that what I'd done? I had wanted it to be a test of sorts, and I couldn't be disappointed because what I suspected would happen did. She didn't really want to be with me. She wanted to work.
"You should be fair to Eve and yourself. Give this a chance. Be honest with her."
Sofia joined us. "I won!"
Dad followed her more slowly into the kitchen, snagging another brownie from the plate. "We should play another round so I can redeem myself."
"We need to head out," I said. "It's almost bedtime for this one."
Sofia hugged her grandparents, and we went home. I didn't have any text messages. Nothing from Eve that indicated she'd changed her mind about going away.
I couldn't get what my mom said out of my head. Was this the outcome I wanted? Was I distancing myself so I wouldn't get hurt?