Chapter 35 #2
No . . . He hacked into the app I downloaded to track Leo’s car. It was password protected, but so is everything else in my laptop, and he managed to get into it all.
But he can’t . . . He has to be bluffing. The tracker I put on Leo’s car was cheap and didn’t have memory storage—or so I thought. How does he even know about Thomas?
I’m not willing to risk Leo’s entire livelihood on the off chance that I was too stupid to work out how to use the app’s interface, and there’s a whole log recording his whereabouts. As far as I know, he could’ve committed far more crimes than murder.
Having information about me come out would be bad enough, but this? Leo could go to prison for a long, long time, and it’d be all my fucking fault.
My sob carries through the apartment. Did he know that I’ve finally come to terms with my relationship with Leo, and he just wants to fuck it all up?
I’ll pay this fucking price as long as this sick fuck leaves Leo out of it. Maybe this is some twisted attempt to save Leo’s reputation from me before he uploads all my deep, dark secrets for the whole world to see. I won’t let him go down with me.
Mina: Then you won’t send it? And you’ll take those books down.
The sound of the front door opening drags my attention away from the dots appearing at the bottom of the message thread.
My heart slams against my chest, knowing who it is. Every breath hurts, and the seconds stretch into hours as I wait for my blackmailer to tell me what needs to be done.
Leo’s footsteps come closer.
There’s no telling whether this person will keep extorting me and turning me into his puppet. He may still turn around and ask for the money, or go to Leo with the evidence he has to get something out of him too.
Either way, it’s too much risk. There’s no way I could live the rest of my life knowing I might be responsible for ruining Leo’s life.
The text comes through, and my heart shatters.
Unknown Number: Pinky promise.
I pull up my camera and hit Record before dropping the phone facedown on my pillow.
“Happy release day, baby.” Leo’s voice reaches my ears before he passes the threshold into my room.
I bat my tears away, but it’s useless. “What are you doing here?” The words are barely coherent, just a sputtered, broken mess.
The grin falls from his face. “Mina, what’s wrong?” He’s at my side in an instant.
I stumble out of bed and take the corner furthest away from him, holding my hand up so he stays back. “I want you to leave. Now.”
The hurt that crosses his face almost makes me hurl, but I force myself to keep looking at him.
It’ll be the last time I do.
The truth is, I never deserved him or any of the love he gave me. This is for the best. He’ll be happier with someone who isn’t me. He—
No, but I fucking want him. He’s mine. I bent over backward to make us happen, and I was fucking stupid not to jump into his arms the moment he told me he wanted me too.
“Did your mother say something?” My legs threaten to give out from the weight of his anger. “I swear to God, we’ll go there right fucking now because I’m not going to stand here and watch her keep hurting you like this.”
A sob breaks out of me. Even though I’m trying to push him away, his first thought is freeing me from my mother. To put me first.
“I haven’t spoken to her.” I don’t want to do this. Saying what comes next feels like swallowing barbed wire. “I’m sorry. I don’t want you. It was just a phase.”
I slam my hand over my mouth in a useless attempt to keep my cries at bay. He’s so still, like I’ve pressed Pause on the screen so he’s frozen in time, staring at me in pained disbelief.
Slowly, he delivers the next words with deadly precision. “What did you just say?”
I don’t want to be here. I’d rather die than say the next part, but it must be done.
“I was only in it for the chase. Th-the idea of you. You and I were never going to work.” It comes out barely intelligible.
In the silence that follows, I swear I hear his heart splinter into a thousand pieces. Each shard lands in me with lethal precision.
I sob, wrapping my arms around myself, and bending over with the need to collapse. I can’t do this anymore.
“You . . .” He takes a deep breath. “You don’t mean it. Did your mother put you up to this?”
I whip my head side to side. I’m too much of a coward to look at what I’ve done. I’ve fucking destroyed us, and he’ll never know it’s to save him. This person may never rest until I’m in the dirt. But at least I’m the only one who will pay the real price.
“This is my decision, Leo. Please.”
“Who was it then? Jack?”
“No, it wasn’t Jack or Mom.”
“Then who? Because this isn’t happening. Someone put you up to this. Tell me.”
“It’s my choice.” Stop fighting me. Please.
“I don’t believe that for a second.”
“I’m not lying,” I lie.
“You can’t honestly expect me to believe you’re serious after everything that’s happened between us.”
“I’m sorry. Leave—”
“No.” His voice is a harsh snap. “Don’t you fucking dare apologize—”
“Just go!” I scream. He’s making it harder than it needs to be. “Leave and don’t ever fucking come back. I’ll never be yours, so stop wasting either of our time and just go.” I finally look up at him and wish I didn’t.
“I don’t accept that.”
“Leo, don’t make me say it again.”
“Mina—”
“You’re scaring me. Leave. Please.”
Until the day I die, I’ll never forget the betrayal on his face. The hurt.
He promised me forever. I wanted to take it. Now I’m ripping up his oath and spitting on it right in front of him.
The seconds hang. The walls keep closing in as we stare at each other. It’s cruel of me to want him to keep fighting me, refuse to leave, demand that we work this out, and promise to take all my issues away. But that would only prolong the inevitable. It’d hurt more.
That’s why I hope he sees the desperate plea in my eyes when I say, “Leave.”
The cogs turn in Leo’s head. I can tell he wants to do exactly what I wished for: deny my request and force me to fight for us. But I’m grateful he doesn’t.
He leaves the room and takes any hope I have of happiness with him.
The slam of the door rattles the apartment, and my body finally gives out. I fall onto the floor, wailing into my arm.
This isn’t the day I lose Leo. It’s the moment I lose everything.
There’s no more him. No more Joyce. No more writing. No more hope.
Deep down, I know it’ll never stop. There will always be something in this life that will keep me miserable. If not my parents, then the person with the means to destroy my life.
I crawl to the bed and end the recording. I don’t bother cutting out the sound of my cries before sending it to him.
Mina: I did what you fucking asked. Now do what you promised.
Unknown Number: Done
Unknown Number: We’re going to have so much fun together, Jasmina. Aren’t you lucky that you have more people to push away? I wonder if they’ll miss you.