Chapter 19 #2
She clasps her hands tightly together, closing her eyes.
She opens them again. “I’m always jumpy at night.
” Her voice is lower than a whisper as she stares out to sea.
“Most nights I stay out here until I fall asleep.” She kicks off her heels and sits with her feet on the settee.
In the dark, she’s much less commanding.
“I know you didn’t kill that poor girl.”
My foot taps against the floor, bouncing my knee up and down.
I get the sense she’s confiding in me, and I’m not sure what to do.
Eliza was always much better at listening to people’s concerns and helping them.
My Morphia always seems to bring people tears that I don’t know what to do with.
Leith was the one who taught me the importance of feeling with someone and not for someone.
But every time I tried, I always felt like a pretender.
As if everything I said came out hollow and fake like the corpses I dragged back to life.
Father told me it was better not to feel too much at all as a resurrector. I’m not sure he was right.
I clear my throat. “You believe me?”
Asralyn shakes her head, brows pinched like her lips. “I didn’t want to come back here. Not after what happened. My sister made me. She said what happened was an accident. She even sent her own children with me to prove how much she believed that.”
I stay facing the window, although every part of me wants to look at Asralyn’s face. “What happened last time?”
Asralyn exhales a slow, shaky breath. She unclasps her fingers and tugs on one of her large sun earrings.
“Vance and I came for a vacation four years ago. We came with our daughter … Karynna.” She pauses on the name.
It’s the same way people speak the names they want me to summon.
“We were only here for a week cruise. It was the second-to-last day—we were even close to port. Our concierge took Karynna to the game room. She spent so much time there with the shooting lights and weightlessness.”
Despite my inner voice screaming a warning, I shift and place my hand over Asralyn’s. If I can’t feel with her, maybe she’ll feel me. She’ll know I care. Asralyn chokes on a sob when my hand clasps over hers.
“Karynna used to wear her hair in these beautiful braids—like Sage wears now.” Her gaze shifts and cuts into me.
“Not messy like yours. Hers were perfect. She was so proud she could do them herself.” Her eyes go vacant as she fixates on a vivid memory I cannot see.
“She waved at me before she left. Her beautiful hair was braided into a crown she made. Not a single hair out of place. That was the last time I saw her. She died in the game room. No one knows how. Some of the children who saw what happened said she got sucked into the walls and was spat back out.” Her shoulders shake. “Like the ship was eating her.”
I shudder, reminded of what I’ve seen on the Celestial at night. Even so, none of this is supposed to be a threat during the day, or even outside the hallways.
Elayne’s story and Gray’s warning from the ball …
I can’t help but wonder if there’s more reason to be afraid.
Asralyn squeezes my fingers and lets go.
She swallows her tears and refocuses on the water.
“I’ve missed her every day since, and I’ve blamed this ship.
Vance and I sent complaints to the bosses.
Even to the council. Everyone told us the same thing, including my sister. It was only a terrible accident.”
Throat thick and tight, I nod. Asralyn’s felt guilty and probably a little crazy for the past four years. Maybe I can show her she’s not alone. “I don’t think it was an accident,” I finally say.
Asralyn’s head falls, and she clutches her chest. With a shuddering breath, she turns to look me in the eye. “It’s the Morphia. Being contained—imprisoned like this. This ship feeds on us. The bosses don’t care.”
A rush of warmth floods my chest. Not only did she save me, but she has trusted me with this story about her daughter. Karynna Stallard. Although I think the same about the ship, there’s nothing the two of us can do about it. Not tonight, anyway.
I reach my hand back out to Asralyn, palm up. “I can try to bring back her spirit. You could see her one last time. Maybe even ask her what happened.”
Asralyn pulls her hands back. “No.” After a tense silence, she runs her fingers over her face, stretching the skin under her eyes. “Since I met you, that’s all I’ve thought about. But I can’t do it. It would be too hard to see her again.”
I’ve known the pain of waiting for a spirit to come and seeing nothing at all. Asralyn sits up straight and fixes me with a narrow-eyed stare. “Don’t tempt me again.” She sighs and motions to the door. “Now go. We can manage alone for the rest of the night.”
I hurry to my feet. Despite my eagerness to leave the room, I can’t help but think of Asralyn sitting alone in the dark with the last of the candles dying, gazing out at the sea.
As I open the door, I turn back over my shoulder.
“Asralyn.” When she looks up, tears glistening on her cheeks, I give her a weak smile. “Thank you.”