Chapter 23 #3
Panic rises in the back of my throat at the thought that someone could affect my own Morphia like that.
But Ivander seizes my hands and squeezes my tingling fingers, sending a rush of warmth up my arms. He waits, making sure the contact is all right with me.
I smile and squeeze back. “What if it’s not just my family members and Elayne?
What if I’m not able to summon anyone anymore? ”
“Then try,” he says, voice low. “We need to practice for your retrial, anyway. You need to stay calm while summoning.”
He’s right. But my frustration is making it harder.
I need a strong emotional connection. Something real.
I close my eyes once more and reach for the spirit world.
I become weightless and let go of the tether that keeps us in one world, bridging the gap between life and the spirits. “Who do you want to see?”
Ivander coughs in surprise. “Me? I— What are you doing?”
Without being fully aware of it, I reach out my hand. “It’s easier when I can connect the spirit to someone here.”
After a heavy silence, he takes my hand and the connection builds instantly. I wonder what the connection might feel like if our lips touched. The silver tendrils of light spring from my fingers before he finishes saying the name. “My grandfather.”
A man with warm brown skin and a graying beard holds his hand out to Ivander.
I’ve seen spirits come back looking the way they did on the day of death and others come back looking the way their family best remembers them.
Some come through wispy and weak, but Ivander’s grandfather appears strong and commanding, even in the tunic shirt and trousers he must have died in.
Tears form in the corners of Ivander’s eyes. “Could have dressed up a little, Grandpa.”
His grandfather throws his head back and laughs. “Why should I try?” he asks in a throaty rasp. “We both know you’re going to look much better than me.” He nods to Ivander’s sapphire-blue vest and shimmering pants. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
Ivander reaches out for his grandfather, and I close my eyes again.
Strengthening the connection, I tug at the silver light connecting him to this world.
Give me a little more. I feel a surge of energy and open my eyes to see Ivander throwing his arms around his now-solid grandfather.
The two cling to each other. Ivander’s grandfather folds him into his chest, whispering into the thick curls of his hair.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there,” Ivander says. “I should have given up my Morphia for more time with you.”
The man releases his grip on his grandson and holds him at arm’s length. “Don’t you dare. This is where you needed to be.” He turns to me. “Take notes, girl. My Ivander’s going to change the world. He wants to open the first school to train Morphics. I know he’ll do it too.”
Ivander looks bashful, which is a first experience for me. The strength of this connection makes my arms quiver. I’m going to have the worst deathmares of my life if I don’t cut off soon. “I can’t hold much longer,” I say.
He wraps his arms around his grandfather one last time. “I wasn’t ready to lose you.” His voice trembles. “I sometimes think I shouldn’t have come here at all.”
“You don’t know what happened after you left, child, but I do.
Your mother and father were so proud you took one last chance to save your Morphia.
” His grandfather pats his back, already fading into a wispy mirage as the connection dies.
“Your mother regretted every day not telling you how proud she was, even though she was terrified for you. Adrionna was proud of her shifter uncle. She believed you’d come home as Professor Ivander.
Don’t give up on yourself because none of us ever have… ”
When he disappears, Ivander sinks to his knees. With the connection severed, the warmth is gone. Cold steals over my lips, and I shiver.
Ivander hangs his head. The stage is wet from his falling tears. “Thank you,” he whispers.
Although he’s the one crying, I can’t help the wetness on my cheeks. The connection I felt to his grandfather was stronger than any spirit I’ve ever raised.
The more someone believes in me, the stronger I become.
Ivander traces over the rose tattoo on his arm with his finger.
“My grandfather knew I loved being in front of people. Performing for them. He told me I’d make a good teacher.
He taught in one of the boarding schools in Aryndar, and he said teaching children was the same as performing.
” He imitates his grandpa’s rasp. “You have to get up there and make them excited about learning.”
“He sounds like a good man,” I say. I know how important it is to have family members who believe in you. I also know how hard it is to lose them. “And he’s right. You’ll make a wonderful teacher.”
But I can’t help the rising tide of frustration. A block is preventing me from seeing Elayne or my family members, but no one else?
Ivander reads me easier than I would like. “This is good news. You can still summon. We’ll figure the rest out.” He takes my hand. “Your gift is beautiful, Roe. I’ve spent my time on this ship trying to get my friends retrials. I’ll be damned if I can’t make that happen for you.”
I lean forward and press my forehead to his, even though I’d like to do more. But he’s just seen his dead grandfather. I’ll settle for the feeling of his skin warming mine. “When I go home, I’ll fight for you too. All of you.”
“I know you will.” His lips are mere inches from mine. He inhales a sharp breath, and I hold mine, waiting. But he must also decide it’s not the right time because he pulls away and sits back. “What am I going to do without an unforgiving rehearsal schedule and four performances a day?”
I pretend to think about it. “Visiting Credence would be a start. Damarcus Estate has a lovely theater you might enjoy.”
“Is that an invitation?”
I intertwine my fingers with his. “Yes.” Because I have to believe we’ll get off this ship. Alive, and with our Morphia. No matter the horrors we have to face to make that happen.
But for tonight, we’re safe. We’re a pair of stubborn witches, proud of our magic, ignoring the chaos waiting for us beyond the safety of the theater’s walls.