21. Brooke
After I hang up from Henry, I lie on the bed and stare at the movie playing on the TV. But I’m not paying attention. All I can think of is the pain of what I am doing. Not just to me.
But to Lev as well.
I wasn’t going to eat, but Henry ordered me some tacos and had them delivered to the motel room. Despite not feeling hungry, I force them down because I know I have to fuel my body for the baby at least.
Somehow, after rechecking the door and window locks, I manage to fall asleep.
But just before midnight, I wake up and immediately feel the empty space beside me, and it feels cold and dark and lonely.
He’s not there. And he’ll never be there again.
I stare up at the ceiling.
Missing Lev is midnight poison. The ache. The longing. The knowing I can never go back. I know I am doing the right thing. But the guilt of what I am about to do keeps me awake. And the empty space beside me is a cruel, cold reminder that I am doing it to him.
I know he doesn’t love me.
But he already loves this baby.
And he is never going to see either of us again.