36. Brooke
They remove Igor from life support but keep him heavily medicated. He’s not out of the woods, they explain. He needs to heal. So I spend the next few days with Enya at his bedside. I’m keen to put some space between Lev and I, but I also want to support my new friend as she waits for her love to heal and wake up.
On the day Enya has to go to an appointment, I decide to stay with Igor and read to him. Because I’ve heard reading to unconscious people helps them heal quicker. Or wake up. I’m not sure on the details. But I figure if he hears me talking to him it might bring him some kind of comfort.
Besides, the silence is killing me. Without distraction, my thoughts go to Lev, and I’m tired of him taking up the real estate in my head.
So I go in search of a book in the waiting room, but there is little to choose from. Just a pile of old magazines, and I’m not sure how interested Igor would be in Ten Ways to Know He’s Cheating, or How to Make the Perfect Meringue.
A nurse walks past and asks what I am looking for, so I explain my idea to her even though it sounds crazy saying it out loud.
Her face lights up. “I have a book in my bag that you could read to him. I just finished it on my lunch break. It’s a mafia romance though. Do you think he’d mind?”
I grin. How appropriate. “I couldn’t think of anything more perfect.”
Back in Igor’s room with the book, I get comfy and start reading.
The first chapter flies by, then the second, and the third, and then I’m so engrossed I’m a third of the way through the book before I even realize.
I don’t hear Lev until he speaks. “Are you seriously reading him a romance novel?”
At the sound of the grumpy pakhan’s voice, I almost jump out of my skin. I turn to see him standing in the doorway. Fresh suit. Hair perfect. Looking like a boss.
“Yes, I told him if he didn’t get better then I was going to read it to him. It was only a threat. I was only going to subject him to the first chapter, but damn, this book has sucked me in. It’s a mafia romance so you’d probably like it.”
He cocks an eyebrow at me as he looks at the title. “The Devil’s Den.”
“It’s about a ruthless mafia don. You should read it. Who knows, you might pick up some tips.”
“Nice cover.”
“It’s spicy too.”
“I’m sure Igor is thrilled,” he drawls.
He turns his attention to Igor and his jaw tightens. I see the flash of pain in his expression, and I know it hurts him to see his friend so unwell.
I don’t know what to say to him, and the silence is deafening, so after a while I pick up the book and start reading to Igor again.
I expect Lev to leave. But he doesn’t. He sits down, and it’s confusing because I don’t know how I fit into this scenario. What I should do, if I should leave. But I get the feeling he doesn’t want me to leave, that right now this is what he needs, to be with his friend. And if I am really honest, I don’t want to leave. It’s nice to be in the same room as him without all the tension and frosty silence. It’s like Igor’s room has become neutral territory where we can co-exist without arguing.
So I keep reading, and Lev listens, and before too long he’s giving a running commentary.
“Yes, that is exactly what I would do.”
“What does she expect, he’s mafia, of course he’s going to do that.”
“Yes, I would shoot him for touching her too.”
And it’s so surreal because he’s giving me a glimpse of the man he was before I ran away. The man he’s kept hidden from me since I returned. The man I fell in love with.
When I get to a part where the hero is keeping the heroine locked in a bedroom and her sassy reaction to it, he cocks and eyebrow and mutters, “Oh, how I can relate, my friend.”
But it’s all too much when I get to a spicy scene. Lev stands and moves toward the door.
“But we’re just getting to the good bits,” I say.
He shakes his head. “No, the good bits were in the beginning before he fucked up and fell in love with her.”
Two days later, summer turns up with vengeance. It’s like God turned up the heat overnight which is a stark contrast to the frostiness that still exists between Lev and I. Despite the mild thaw that happened after we spoke at the hospital, for the last couple of days we’ve done a superb job of avoiding one another.
Which is fine by me.
If he’s determined to think I’m some kind of rat, then I’m determined to stay out of his way until he’s ready to see sense and apologize for being a dick.
But today the sun is bright, the sky is blue, and I refuse to let Lev’s bad attitude ruin my mood. I decide to head down to the humongous pool to enjoy the sunshine. It’s the perfect opportunity to try out the new bikini I bought online after Lev told me he didn’t want me asking him permission every time I want to make a purchase.
Buy what you need, Miss Masters. I don’t want to hear about it.
I slip on the bikini. I’ve always been curvy, but standing in front of the mirror, I can’t help but admire the way my body is getting curvier with the pregnancy. Full breasts. Soft thighs. A growing belly.
I twist and turn in front of the mirror, and my new bikini shimmers with a hundred different shades of aqua.
I glide my palm over my round tummy. It’s not big yet. But it is rounder. And there’s something magical about knowing there is a tiny life growing in there.
Today marks the beginning of my second trimester, according to the checkup I had yesterday. Thankfully my morning sickness is gone, along with the persistent fatigue. In fact, I feel amazing.
I can’t help but grin at my reflection. I’m so in love with the baby inside. I can’t wait to be his or her mama. I can’t wait to hold him or her in my arms, and sing to them, soothe them, and let them know how loved they are.
I have no idea how Lev fits into all of this. I know he’ll make sure we want for nothing. There’s no doubt about that. Because he is more than generous with his money and his things. It’s just when it comes to showing me any emotion that he’s completely bankrupt.
Which is fine by me, because I’m still pissed at him for thinking that I betrayed him to the FBI. I was prepared to let it go for the sake of the baby. But he’s right when he calls himself a tenacious fuck. Every day, he retreats further away from me, and it’s wearing thin.
And to be honest… I miss him.
I miss what we had before I left. The closeness. The tenderness. The late nights staying up talking and learning about one another.
Not to mention the molten sex.
By body throbs hungrily at the memory of those nights spent in his bed. Now that my morning sickness is gone and I’m further along, my sex drive is off the charts. Which is unfortunate now that I don’t have anyone to satisfy the craving.
Throwing on a sheer linen shirt over my bikini, I grab my sunglasses and water bottle and leave the room.
The swimming pool at the Zarkov Estate looks like something you’d see in a resort. Palm trees line the outside of the pool and white sandstone is stark against the crystal blue water.
I sit on one of the many sun loungers and slip off my shirt.
I know in here I am free from the prying eyes of Lev’s men. They do not patrol the pool. But they certainly control every inch outside of the six-foot walls that surround it.
I remember Lev telling me once that this pool is his sanctuary during the hotter months. This is where he likes to swim laps first thing in the morning, and he likes to do it undisturbed by prying eyes.
I sigh. Here, I am safe from everything and everyone.
I lie down and relax on the sun lounger and enjoy the warm sunlight on my skin. After a few moments, I decide I don’t want the tan lines of my bikini top and undo the bow that holds it in place and let it slip to the ground beside me. I glance around, making absolutely sure that there is no one around, and slide off my bikini bottoms, too, and they fall to the ground beside my bikini top.
Fully naked, I stretch out along the sun lounger.
I love my pregnant body. I love how it’s softened. But the pregnancy hormones, well, they are something else. One minute I’m fine. The next, I’m either cleaning crazily, crying because of a sad commercial on the TV, or I’m so fucking horny I have to get myself off just so I can walk straight.
And right now, while I’m stretched out naked under the sun, my body feels needy for a release. No, it’s needy for cock.
That’s another thing I purchased in my online shopping haul. Thick. Eight inches. And fully hard. My new friend has helped me out immensely when it comes to satisfying the ache.
But right now, I need to be touched. I need to be kissed and caressed, and I want him to do it. There’s no shame in it. Because a woman has needs. And this pregnant woman has a lot of them. But he is not an option. No matter how hard my nipples have gotten or how swollen and wet I am down there just thinking about him.
It’s either my hand or my battery-powered boyfriend, and that’s in the nightstand in my bedroom.
I glance around the pool area.
There’s no one around.
Slowly, I let my hand drift down between my legs.