Chapter 40
EVE
Iwait among the sunflowers until the BMW comes to life and putters away. I know that I should be marching out of here with my head held high, willing to listen to whatever it is that Ryder has to say.
I know him well enough to know that he likely has good intentions, but that doesn’t negate the shock that zipped through my body upon seeing the address of the cabins on his contracts.
He promised me that he wouldn’t touch them.
That he’d let that little dream of mine live on, as unrealistic as it might be.
And rather than even talk to me about it, he went forward with buying them.
I want to believe this all just looks a hell of a lot worse than it is.
But life has taught me to believe the worst in people.
I hesitantly step out of the sunflowers, shivering either with rage or the lower temperature now that the sun has gone down, and head toward my bungalow.
Running and hiding might not be the best way to deal with my issues, but it’s better than pushing Ryder in the stream again, which is the only reason I really want to interact with him at this point.
I know that talking to him right now is not the best choice for me.
My blood is running hot, and fighting with him won’t do any good.
I’ll wait until I’ve calmed down. Until I’m confident I can look him in the eye while he tells me all of the ways he’s plotting to ruin this land.
Because that’s what he must be doing, right? I didn’t want to grant him an easement so he’s taking the path that he doesn’t need me for.
And all that crap about wanting to involve me in his life was just that: crap.
I shut myself in my house, tortured by the fact that I’m so, so angry with him but he’s still all I want in this moment.
He’s giving me the impossible choice I thought I didn’t have to make: him, or the farm. A person who feels like home or the place that’s always been home. Someone who could probably give me an easy, enjoyable life, versus the one that I’ve poured my blood, sweat, and tears into already.
I head into the kitchen to make a mug of tea, and as I pass the refrigerator, I notice the word magnets have been rearranged to spell out something new.
I blink as I read them, certain before I can even process them that it’s a message from Ryder.
MEET ME AT MIDNIGHT
Izzy’s face drops as soon as she clocks the expression on mine.
“Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” she asks, opening the door to her apartment wider so I can step inside.
Her space is small but cheery, filled with sunlight and plants.
Large windows overlook Main Street, the hustle and bustle of a weekend in Sunflower Hill creating a comforting background hum as she shuts the door behind me and I plop down on her gray couch.
Off to one corner of her living room, an easel stands on top of a tarp, one of her half-finished paintings waiting patiently for her return.
She sits down next to me, her eyes scanning my face carefully. “What did he do?”
I bite my lip, my chest tight. “I’m not sure.”
Her eyes narrow. “If you’re not sure, why is your upset face so strong right now?”
I purse my lips, sitting up straight in the hopes that I can actually articulate what has me so upset at the moment. “Ryder bought the cabins at the top of the hill.”
Izzy nods. “Your pipe dream cabins.”
I let out a long breath. “I know, realistically, that this is not something I’m allowed to be upset about.”
Izzy shrugs, leaning back into the couch.
“You’re allowed to be upset over whatever you want to be upset about.
In fact, I’d encourage you to be upset about it.
Try on the emotion, see how it feels. Something tells me your apprehension is what’s torturing you right now, not whatever Ryder is doing with those cabins. ”
I shake my head. “How are you so certain?”
She smiles, raising one eyebrow. “Evie, it’s like you’ve forgotten how long we’ve known each other.
You’re fiercely defensive of your farm and tend to shoot first and ask questions later when you think something might threaten it.
Ryder is presenting you with the ultimate challenge: he’s doing something that will undoubtedly affect the farm and you’re struggling to delicately retain control of something that is ultimately out of your hands because you want to trust him, but life has taught you to be wary. ”
I narrow my eyes. “Do you know what he’s doing?”
Her brow furrows. “How would I know what he’s doing?”
“I don’t know. You just seem confident in what you’re saying.”
She shrugs. “It’s a lot easier to see things objectively when you’re not in the thick of it all. That man has shown up for you time and time again. Chopping flowers, taking care of you when you were sick. Whatever he’s doing with those cabins—I have no doubt—is going to benefit you in the end.”
I shake my head. “I simultaneously love and hate how sure you are about that.”
Izzy shrugs. “It’s because you know I’m right, but that anxious side of you doesn’t want to let a good thing happen.”
I sink down into the couch, letting her words settle for a moment before speaking. “I think I might be terrified right down to my bones.”
Izzy snorts in laughter. “Well, hey, at least you can admit it.”
I let out a long breath. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something like I want this. This past weekend in New York. The time he’s been in Sunflower Hill. Even when I hated him, I think there was a part of me that liked the possibility he’d show up on the farm one day.”
“Aw,” Izzy says softly, and I realize my words came out much sweeter than I intended.
I shake my head. “This feels bigger than simply trusting him. I know that I can trust him. I don’t think I came here because I was worried he would double cross me or otherwise fuck up my life.
This feels like...” I motion in front of me, trying and failing to pluck the words from thin air. “I don’t know.”
Izzy purses her lips, poorly hiding her smile. “It feels like the rest of your life.”
My face heats, the reality of her words setting in as I swallow over a lump in my throat.
Izzy takes my silence as agreement and promptly scooches closer to throw her arms around me.
“Aw Evie, I’m so happy for you. You deserve a love that makes you all sputtery and uncomfortable and shows you you don’t have to work like a maniac alone.
” She squeezes me tight, spurring a choked laugh out of me.
When she finally lets me go, I shake my head. “I don’t know if I’m about to start talking about the rest of my life, but this does feel different, you know? Bigger than any relationship I’ve been in before.”
“You’re arguing in semantics at this point.” She rolls her eyes as she waves me off. “What is Ryder doing right now?”
I shrug. “I’m not sure. I ran away when I saw the purchase agreement.”
Izzy stills. “Eve, you ran away? Like you didn’t even tell him where you were going?”
I shake my head.
She sighs in return, standing and holding a hand out to me. “Come on, we need to get you back to the farm before he panics and pulls together a town-wide search party.”
“He wouldn’t do that.”
Izzy laughs. “You know him so well, do you?”
I huff, letting her pull me to my feet. “It’s not that I know him so well, it’s that he knows me so well and he knows I’d be absolutely mortified if he got the entire town to look for me when he knows he did something dicey that likely triggered the flight of my fight-or-flight response.”
Izzy only shakes her head, slipping into a pair of shoes at the door and shaking her head as she beckons me out the door and down to the street where I left my car haphazardly parked in my rush to spew my anxiety at her.
“You are literally proving my point,” she says, reaching for the driver’s side door handle and opening it.
“Now go back to the farm and stomp that fear down before you inadvertently squash something that has very obviously made you very happy.”
And even just the suggestion that I could ruin things has my chest tightening again, my fingers curling and releasing around my steering wheel as I settle in the seat.
Izzy eyes the movement. “I didn’t mean everything is going to fall apart,” she says, reaching out and squeezing my hand.
“So relax, okay? I just meant that this is one of those moments where you have to ignore that part of your brain that’s sounding the alarm so he has a chance to explain what he’s doing.
Give him the opportunity to prove that alarm wrong.
This is your turning point. The one moment you have to give someone the benefit of the doubt that you otherwise wouldn’t because he’s the one person you can trust to make good on it. ”
“I always trust you,” I sputter quickly.
She rolls her eyes. “That’s different and you know it.” She thinks for a moment and then shrugs. “But also yes, you can trust me. And I’m extending my trustworthy umbrella to Ryder. So go do what I told you to do and get your happily ever after so that I can live vicariously through you.”
“Izzy,” I say, my heart squeezing for her. My biggest advocate and supporter, who’s had just about the shittiest luck with men yet never fails to believe in love for everyone else.
She shakes her head. “Don’t go there. You know I’m a ‘one night’ sort of girl.”
“You’ll find someone,” I tell her.
She huffs. “You know, I could really use some inspiration. Maybe a love story close to home that makes me believe it might just happen for me.” She raises one eyebrow. “Wonder where I could find something like that.”
I hold a hand up. “Okay, okay. I get it. I’ll go back to the farm and talk to Ryder.”
Izzy smiles triumphantly. “And report back. I want the spicy details.”
I roll my eyes. “One thing at a time.”
She bites her lip to hide her smile. “Does he try to give you multiple things at a time?”
“Izzy!”
She snorts. “What? A little toy play never hurt anybody.”
I shake my head. “Your ability to jump from serious to anything but is truly extraordinary.”
“Put that on my tombstone, please.”
She takes a step toward me, wrapping her arms around me and squeezing me tight. “Serious talks are always best followed with a laugh.” When she releases me, she takes a step away from the door. “Now go get your happily ever after.”
And she closes the door on me with a grin.