Chapter 42 Eve
EVE
Ispend my night nervously checking the time and pull myself off the couch an hour before I need to leave to put on clean clothes and bundle up.
And I ignore the uncomfortable gut feeling swarming around inside me that this is exactly how I become my mother. Forgiving a man repeatedly despite knowing who he is.
Because there’s another part of me that wonders if I’m perpetuating my own loneliness by insisting that forgiving someone who has done you wrong is always a bad idea.
When you’re a kid, you don’t see the nuance of the situation.
I saw my mother with a man who talked a big game. Who wore suits and drove fancy cars—which I realize, looking back, weren’t as fancy as he insisted—and promised my mother a life worth leaving her daughter for.
It became apparent over the years that those things weren’t true. That his carefully constructed facade was nothing but just that: a dupe, meant to draw in someone who was unhappy with her life and would do anything to live a little better.
Even if that meant abandoning her daughter.
But that is not me.
I’m loyal to this place that raised me. To my grandmother, who still exists in the soil of this place, sprouting the most beautiful sunflowers on this side of the country.
To my mother, who—as much as I don’t want to admit it—embodies the storms that blow through and challenge everything I thought I could do.
To my grandfather, the tinkerer who took on a life so different from his own for love, who’s the stream that powers the water wheel I love so much.
And I’m starting to wonder if my fear of Ryder was really a fear of myself. My inability to stay focused on what’s important. To put the farm first and continue taking care of it with as much passion and effort as I have been since my grandmother passed.
As much as that nervous feeling churns around in my stomach, I know that Ryder’s not the object of my fear.
He’s just everything I ever wanted.
And I don’t trust myself to have him and continue pouring my heart and soul into this farm.
But isn’t that just what I’ve done over the past few months? With his help, no less?
I managed the farm as well as I ever have, if I can say so myself, and the second he started asking about an easement, I turned him down and stood my ground.
And he respected that.
I think.
Despite every neuron in my body shouting warning signs at me, I trek over to his property and start my hike through the trail Gus cleared for him so many weeks ago. And while the property is still a little difficult to traverse, it’s leagues better than it was before.
I use the flashlight on my phone to guide me, stepping carefully so I don’t roll an ankle on uneven ground or run headfirst into a low tree branch.
And I continue on past the cleared area into the dense woods that creep onto the property and mostly block the view of the cabins, aside from this time of year when the leaves start falling the little log houses peek through.
It’s a long walk made exponentially longer by my careful steps and the anxiety running through my veins that tells me to turn around and run.
But I don’t.
When I get to the clearing at the top of the hill where the first cabin sits, I wonder how exactly Ryder’s planning to convince me he’s not dicking me over.
It’s almost pitch black out here, aside from the light from my cell phone, and I have trouble seeing the cabins looming in the distance, let alone any documents or blueprints he might have drawn up.
And why the hell would he make me trek all the way up here in the middle of the night? Talk about making a girl work for it.
The trail leads to the back of the first cabin, so I shuffle around to the front, my eyes peeled for Ryder, and keep a reasonable distance from the cabins themselves, because as much as I’m comforted when I get the occasional glance of them from the farm, there’s something about an abandoned cabin in the woods that screams horror movie.
And I’ve got enough drama going on in my life right now.
I step over old logs and what look like building materials that were probably stripped from the cabins at some point in time. Through what looks like a half-assed construction zone that… why the fuck are there tiki torches up here?
I shake my head. Gus. It must be Gus. I love him to death, but he’s the reason behind every what the fuck moment I have in this place. He probably cleared the trail up here and discovered a sweet little party zone for himself.
I step over some weirdly arranged logs. Wiring that goes… somewhere? I keep my eyes to the ground, looking for booby traps along the grass because this all seems like more of a minefield than an abandoned cabin.
And when I finally get to the front of the cabin, I see him.
Standing by the driver’s side door of his car, his hands clasped in front of him and his entire body turned toward the driveway.
And… I didn’t even think about driving up here.
The roads take you through the original village of Sunflower Hill, and they do more circling than the downward spiral my brain has been taking me on since I started this hike.
I only ever attempted to drive up here once, and I ended up getting turned around somewhere on a road that really should have been a one-way.
I gave up after that and decided walking was the right way to go.
But Ryder, apparently, has found his way up here with the BMW. I’m curious how he’s going to get out, considering the driveway likely hasn’t had a lick of maintenance in at least a decade, if not longer.
“Hey,” I say, stopping a few feet from his car.
And apparently he was not expecting me to pop up from behind, because as soon as he hears my voice, he jumps, his phone flying through the air and landing with a soft thud on the ground between us.
“Jesus Christ, Evie,” he says, holding a hand over his chest. “Give me a heart attack, why don’t you?”
I shrug. “You knew I was coming.”
He pauses before bending to pick up his phone. “I did, didn’t I?”
Because we both know that when it comes to him, I’ll show up every time. Even if my gut is screaming at me that this situation hits too close to home.
Except Ryder isn’t my mother’s piece of shit husband. He’s Ryder.
He doesn’t hesitate to drop everything to help me close up the farm for the season. He likes sleeping with one hand on my hip and takes care of me when I’m sick. Wades right into the stream to save my water wheel and goes head to head with the mayor on my behalf.
And I’m hoping with every fiber of my being that he’s going to squash the last niggling bit of doubt that’s dragging me down.
He slips his phone back in his pocket and steps toward me, taking my hands in his. “I’m really glad you came. Even if I might need medical attention for how fast my heart is beating.”
I shake my head. “I wouldn’t just… not show up.”
He lets out a long breath. “I wouldn’t blame you, though.” He presses my hands together, holding them between his to warm them. “I promised you I would be transparent with you, but I got carried away with an idea that I really think you’re going to like.”
I wait for him to mention the other broken promise. “You also said you wouldn’t touch the cabins.”
He nods. “Yes. And I did break that promise, but I thought that might have been the right move, considering they’re owned by Reed.”
I blink. “What?”
“The LLC listed on those cabins is Reed’s. And while I know you told me not to touch them, I thought you might think differently if you knew you might be negotiating with Reed in the future.”
I narrow my eyes. “What game is Reed playing here?”
Ryder shrugs. “I think he was playing a little bit of chess. I think he was banking on you being as stubborn as you always are and blocking an easement on your land.” He shakes his head.
“That property was bought ten years ago by a development company and sold a year later. We dug into it before buying, but the only reasoning we saw was tough terrain. Which makes sense, but it’s not the whole story.
I think a certain someone’s grandmother threw a fit when they asked about an easement, and the terrain—along with the crazy lady next door—had them searching for greener pastures. ”
I stand up straighter at the mention of my grandmother. “Well, I’m proud of myself for standing up for the farm just like she did.”
“Me too,” Ryder says easily. “Apparently your reputation precedes you because I think that’s exactly what Reed expected you to do, which leaves me with no option other than buying up these cabins to put a driveway up here.
Considering my very personal reasons for trying to build here, he probably thought it was a perfect plan. ”
I eye him when I speak. “So is that what you’re doing?”
He pauses before speaking. “I bought both the cabins.”
I close my eyes, nodding as I try to extract my hands from his.
He holds them tighter, keeping me in place.
“I bought them for you.”
I shake my head. “You realize that wasn’t a part of the dream, right?
I didn’t want it to be handed to me on a silver platter.
I wanted to make the sunflower farm so successful that buying those cabins would be no big deal.
That was always my gold medal, far down that line.
And I get that I don’t have a monopoly on real estate around here, but you promised me. ”
“I know. But Eve, can’t dreams evolve as you do?
My dream is you. And I want to make yours come true.
” He bites his lip. “Look, if you want me to unload them, I will. The entire development plan, too. But before you tell me to scram, can you give me five minutes of your time to prove to you that this version of your dream is better?”
“The version where I have to fight you for the cabins and suddenly everything I want now comes at the price of everything I’ve worked so hard for?”