Chapter 2
2
T his is a big mistake, Lauren Dare thought. A huge, potentially disastrous mistake.
The show was as terrifying as she thought it would be. Why oh why had she accepted Suzanne’s invitation?
Lauren sighed. She knew why. Because Suzanne insisted so strongly and just wouldn’t take no for an answer. Because Suzanne had threatened to simply cancel the show if Lauren wouldn’t at least show up. No matter that the show was important to Suzanne’s career.
The drawings, pastels, gouaches and watercolors up on the walls were Lauren’s. She’d illustrated Suzanne’s brilliant interior designs, that was all. Lauren didn’t want—couldn’t have—her name on the program in any way and had made that abundantly clear, without explaining why. Suzanne had reluctantly accepted. But Suzanne had been adamant—if Lauren’s name couldn’t be on the program at least she’d attend the opening.
Suzanne had been trying to catch her eye, signaling her to come over but Lauren didn’t dare. Suzanne had a gleam in her eye and there was no guarantee she wouldn’t let slip who had actually made the illustrations to someone she thought might be important to Lauren’s career. Suzanne was almost visibly vibrating with the need to praise Lauren in public.
She didn’t understand that Lauren didn’t have a career. Couldn’t have a career.
Bless her. Suzanne meant well but it could cost Lauren her life.
She shouldn’t be here at all. Being here was insane, a gesture crazy beyond belief. She was still alive at twenty eight against all the odds because she didn’t do things like this. Hadn’t put herself in the public eye in any way in two long, dangerous years. She’d stayed alive for the past two years by being invisible.
So why was she here?
Affection, that was why. Her downfall. She had simply been embraced by Suzanne…
Glorious harp music began playing, notes beamed straight down from heaven.
…and Allegra. Both charming, lovely, talented women who hadn’t taken no for an answer when it came to becoming her friends. A stone heart would have crumbled and Lauren’s heart wasn’t made of stone. Oh no.
Her life would have been immensely easier if it were.
And it wasn’t just Suzanne and Allegra who had bound her in silken ropes of affection. No, there was also Claire Morrison, their friend and the wife of a homicide cop. She’d horned in too. Friendly and smart like the others, warm hearted and funny. Simply irresistible.
And Lauren hadn’t resisted much, had she?
It was unforgiveable. Lauren was alive because she kept her head low, she didn’t make friends, she wasn’t noticed in any way.
So she shouldn’t be here, at a big social and media event. It was insane, and dangerous.
A trick to not making an impact, to not being noticed, was to keep moving. She’d arrived deliberately late by taxi, rebuffing offers of all three women to pick her up, and slipped in unnoticed, dressed in a dark, simple gown she could move easily in and ballerina slippers, no heels.
Because you never knew when you might have to run.
And that’s when she met his eyes and broke out in a smile because she simply couldn’t help it. Another reason she’d stayed on in Portland way over her new life’s sell-by date.
Morton Jackman. Known as Jacko.
He was her star pupil in her weekly drawing classes though there was little she could teach him beyond the basics. He was a natural. Somehow he was always around, giving a hand in closing up at the community center, offering to drive her to the supermarket when her car broke down, fixing her leaky faucets and cleaning out the gutters.
She had no idea why he stuck around her so much when she clearly made him uneasy. Spooked him, even.
Though she should have been the one spooked. And she had been, the first time they’d met. Suzanne had sent Jacko to pick her up for their first business meeting. He worked for Suzanne’s husband who ran some kind of fancy security company, though Jacko looked precisely like the kind of guy a security company was designed to protect against.
He was pierced, tattoed, his head was shaved and his muscles had muscles. He looked like trouble. Your worst nightmare, come to life. And yet…
Morton ‘Jacko’ Jackman had the soul of a poet, though he’d probably punch in the face anyone who said so.
Lauren had never seen anyone react the way he did to fine art and classical music. As if they had been designed precisely for him. He understood and reacted to art instinctively, in a way no education, however advanced, could teach.
And though not an untoward word had been spoken, though they barely ever touched beyond a handshake, Jacko had somehow become part of her life, too.
Well, she was going to stick with Jacko because sticking around Suzanne was dangerous. At any moment Suzanne could spill the beans over who had created the artwork on the walls and there would be a fuss, the spotlight of attention would turn to her and blood would be spilled. Hers.
Jacko could be counted on not to say anything, simply because she’d asked him not to. Jacko wasn’t the kind of guy to accidentally spill anything.
She swerved and walked straight to him, happy to see a friendly face.
Well…friendly. That might be going a bit far. He wasn’t unfriendly around her. He was just stiff and formal. But she liked him in spite of himself and he made her feel safe.
No one would touch her—could touch her—while Jacko Jackman was around. He didn’t do it deliberately but there was a definite don’t mess with me vibe around Jacko that was like a protective force field. Lauren recognized that she liked having him around partly because she relaxed in his presence. No need to be tense or worry about the outside world. He did that for her.
As she walked toward him she could see white all around his dark eyes. She smiled at him, placed a hand on his big arm.
“Hi, Jacko.”
He swallowed. “Ma’am.”
Lauren rolled her eyes. Being with Jacko was always interesting. He was fun to tease, like pulling the tail of a dangerous tiger you knew wouldn’t bite. “Lauren, Jacko. Not ma’am. I’ve told you a thousand times. Unless you want me to call you sir. Do you want me to call you sir?”
“No, ma’am.”
She stepped closer and his eyes opened even wider. “Jacko, how long have we known each other?”
“Four months, three days and seven hours. Ma’am.”
Wow. That was actually…true. She had to think about it for a minute but he was right. “So don’t you think you could bring yourself to call me Lauren? Considering the fact that we’ve known each other four months, three days and seven hours?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Lauren.”
“Lauren. Ma’am.”
She sighed again and looked around the room. No one was paying her any attention at all, which was precisely what she wanted. Nobody was paying much attention to what was on the walls, either, which was cool. Everyone was completely taken up with the hot hors d’oeuvres making the rounds on platters and the excellent champagne an army of servers was pouring into glasses. Allegra’s music made for a gorgeous backdrop to the sounds of happy people drinking and eating and gossiping.
Lauren hadn’t really had a chance to see her work up on the walls. The work was hers but Suzanne had framed and hung the drawings and watercolors and Suzanne had a wonderful eye for color and balance. Now that everyone was eating, drinking or listening to Allegra would be a good time to look at what was up on those walls.
She leaned close to Jacko and was surprised to find out that he smelled really good. It wasn’t something as overt as a cologne. It didn’t have alcohol overnotes. So it must be soap. Citrusy and fresh. And his own smell. Mm.
“Jacko will you walk around with me while I look at the drawings? I haven’t had a chance to see them framed and hung.”
“Yes ma’am,” he said and stuck his elbow out at an odd angle. She stared at it—was he going for a gun under his tux jacket?— and after almost a full minute realized he was offering her his arm.
Such an old fashioned gesture from such an ostensibly rough man, she hadn’t even recognized it at first.
She took it and she relaxed another infinitesimal amount. There was just something so incredibly reassuring about Jacko. Holding his arm felt good. Really good.
She looked up at him and smiled and he flinched. Okay. She was relaxed, but clearly he wasn’t. Somehow she made him uneasy. But still, he wasn’t running away screaming, so she tugged him toward the west wall. She knew it was the west wall because it was painted blue with gilt letters in cursive writing on the top— West Wall. The east wall was taupe, the north wall salmon and the south wall mint. Gilt letters proclaimed each wall. Suzanne had chosen the frames according to the colors of the walls.
They walked. Walking with Jacko in a crowded room was a very interesting experience. She’d bumped shoulders with about twenty people before. The room was full and everyone was intent on something else—food, drink or someone more interesting than she was. She’d been jostled and stepped on and shouldered aside.
Instead, now, it was like Moses parting the Red Sea. Everyone somehow made way for Jacko, shifting out of his way as if that were the natural order of things. Those who didn’t instantly move got a glare that – once they saw it – made them scramble. No one jostled her, no one stepped on her toes, no one crowded her.
“Have you seen the works already?” she asked.
Jacko had been scrutinizing the crowd as if they were enemy insurgents, carefully and coldly. He looked down at her. “Yes, ma’am. Lauren. I helped hang them.”
“So which ones do you like?”
His dark eyes met hers. “All of them. Every single one.”
She faked a smile. Wrong answer.
“But the Morgenstern series is amazing,” he said. “And so is the Lachland residence. Never seen anything like it.”
Okay. Right answer.
“I’d really like to see up close what she did with the frames.”
“Sure thing.” He looked down at her and if she didn’t know better she’d say that was a smile lurking in his eyes. Jacko smiling? Nah.
But he walked her to the appropriate wall, people parting for them. Jacko snagged a couple of flutes of champagne off a passing silver tray and held one out to her. It was very deftly done, considering the size of his hands.
It had amazed her during drawing lessons, too. The number 2 pencil looked like a stalk of straw in his huge hands, yet that hand sketched the most delicate images imaginable. He was an expert on hand-drawn maps, and his were exquisite.
They stopped in front of the Morgenstern series. Suzanne had gone all out in the presentation. Over the series was a long Perspex rectangle with Morgenstern residence – 24 hours laser-etched across the top. The watercolors were framed with a gold passepartout within an elaborate wrought iron frame holding the entire ensemble together. She’d had the idea of the Morgenstern series as she sat on a park bench across from the facade of the home. It was a Belle Epoque building and by some miracle of light and shadow, each part of the day—sunrise, noon, late afternoon and dusk—highlighted different parts of the facade.
So she’d done watercolors of the four parts of the day, each a slightly different hue, each shift of the sunlight highlighting different aspects of the ornate facade.
“Suzanne did a really good job framing them.”
That earned her an odd look. “The works are yours. Not hers.”
There was nothing to say to that.
She sipped the excellent champagne, holding the flute up so it caught the light. The crystal felt good in her hand, catching the light of the overhead chandeliers, so fine it was almost as if the bubbles were caught in air instead of glass.
She twirled the stem. Her family had had flutes just like this in Boston. Fifty of them. Three lifetimes ago.
For just a fleeting second sadness descended over her. She’d trained herself, schooled herself against it. Thinking of the past not only did her no good, it was actively dangerous. She had to be present, every second, because danger could come leaping out of the darkness at any time.
The only way to survive was to be on her guard and to be grateful for every second, because every second could be her last. No past, no future, only the present.
And if it hurt her, just a little, not to be able to claim the watercolors and drawings she’d worked so hard on, if it hurt her, just a little, to remember her charmed childhood in Boston that could never come back, too bad.
That was life.
“Let’s go look at the Agarwal house sketches over on the East Wall.” She tugged at Jacko’s arm.
“Sure. They’re beautiful. My compliments.” They were crossing the big room and he looked down at her and she thought she saw…again, could that be a smile in the depths of his dark eyes? Jacko was the most serious man she’d ever been around. His emotional tones seemed to run the gamut from grim to sober and back again. Even the hint of a smile was extraordinary.
“Well, it was thanks to you.” She gave him a sunny smile, straight up at him and his face froze. It looked like something hurt.
The sketches of the Agarwal house had come out well, she had to admit. It was thanks to Jacko that she’d been able to sketch the house at all. The Agarwal house was an extraordinary structure built by an Indian venture capitalist heavily invested in green energy. The house was built on a remote vast plot of land on the foothills of Mount Hood and had been designed to blend into the forest.
Lauren had sketched it in fall and deepest winter and had extrapolated what it would look like in spring and summer. She’d spent three full days filling ten notebooks with sketches.
When Jacko had heard through Suzanne—who’d received the contract to design the interior décor—that Lauren intended to spend a lot of time on the isolated estate he had insisted on accompanying her. The first time, Lauren had balked. She liked—no, needed—to take her time. She didn’t want to draw hasty sketches with a bored guy tapping his size 14 boot waiting for her to finish up. But it hadn’t been like that, not at all. Jacko seemed to have enormous reserves of patience. He found a bench where he sat quietly, simply waiting for her. Five minutes after she arrived in the morning, Lauren had forgotten Jacko’s presence and only came up for air in the early afternoon after an orgy of sketching to find him waiting in the exact same spot in the exact same position she’d left him in.
Something told her he’d be able to do that for days and maybe even weeks, not just hours.
And, truth be told, the fact that he was there, watching over her, allowed her to lose her sense of time and do it right. Without him, there was a bit of her that would have remained tense and alert.
“You were very kind and very patient with me. I appreciate it.” She looked up and met his eyes and smiled sunnily at him again. He blinked and his face became even more wooden.
“My pleasure, ma’am.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Lauren.”
“Lauren,” he repeated dutifully.
God it was fun teasing him. She tugged at the massive arm under her hand. “So come on, let’s go over to the blue wall.” They turned. “From what I can see of the frames, she did a magnificent?—”
And then it happened.
And it cut her life in two.