Chapter 13
Thirteen
It’s been almost a week since Cinder moved into Midnight Manor. I’ve tried to give her space and instructed the staff to bring her meals rather than force her to sit with my family in the dining room. At this point, I don’t trust my brothers not to cause issues.
I’ve seen her briefly, checking in to make sure everything is okay and that she has everything she needs. Of course, I still follow her any time she leaves the house. I watch her from afar, including the booth at TT’s. We don’t discuss the fact I’m there, nor do we discuss what happened in the VIP room. It’s an unspoken agreement between us that we both seem to understand.
But every day, I grow more and more desperate to get closer to her. To touch her, feel her, and taste her.
So on my way to the aviary one afternoon, when I pass by the ballroom and hear music, I come to a stop. I sneak in through the doors and hide behind a column. I recognize the song playing as “Praying” by Kesha.
Cinder’s hair is pulled back into a low ponytail. The leggings and sports bra she’s wearing make my dick press against the zipper of my slacks. God, her fucking tits. She ebbs and flows to the music, her body and movements almost becoming one with the beat. My eyes fixate, unable to look away.
I knew she was flexible from seeing her at the strip club, but there she’s more rehearsed. She rolls and bends and stretches to the beat as if she feels the rhythm. At the club, she’s confident and powerful, a woman owning her destiny despite the dingy surroundings. But here amid all the wealth and grandeur, she appears vulnerable.
Her beauty tugs deep inside me, some younger version of myself that I sealed away decades ago. Watching her, that little boy, the one who was terrified of his father, who can barely remember the love of his mother, rises. Pressure builds behind my eyes, and they water—for what was, what could have been, and what never will be.
I could watch her dance all day. All night. Fucking forever.
That word is all I think about when it comes to Cinder. Forever.
I shake my head.
What the hell am I thinking? I need this obsession with her to fizzle out, but everything about her is like taking fans to flames, turning it into an inferno. Did I not learn my lesson with Maude?
The song crescendos, and she’s like a woman possessed. All the emotion in the lyrics is displayed in every movement of her body, and if it weren’t clear to me before, it is now. This woman is just as familiar with deep trauma and pain as I am.
The question is, do I want to dig up and examine her pain, try to help her get over the past? I remind myself that’s the kind of thing a man in love would do, and this is not that. No, this is a fleeting obsession that will eventually burn out.
The song slows to a close, and tears track down her face as she collapses onto the floor, staring at the ceiling. Another song that I don’t recognize plays, and Cinder doesn’t get up to dance. Instead, she curves in on herself and weeps.
It almost kills me to walk away from her in that condition. But I know myself. I can feel my obsession building and gaining more strength.
What Maude did to me messed me up, and I didn’t feel for her a fraction of what I do for Cinder. I don’t know how that’s possible, but it is. I just need some space from Cinder to get my head in order. Then I can be around her again and not risk completely falling for her.
Wanting to fuck her is one thing. Wanting to love her is quite another.
So I leave her crying in the ballroom, as much as it pains me, knowing it’s for the best.
When I enterthe dining room that evening for dinner, I’m a little late, so I’m surprised to find Anabelle sitting alone.
“Where’s everyone else?” I ask, sliding into my seat.
“Asher got stuck on a call. Should join us soon. No idea where everyone else is.”
“Think Ash will be pissed if just the two of us dine together? Like a date?” I waggle my eyebrows.
Anabelle chuckles and shakes her head. “As much as you’d probably love to annoy your brother like that, I think he’ll be fine.”
I dish a few items onto my plate. “How’s married life by the way?” It feels a little awkward bringing up marriage, given that I too was supposed to be able to answer that question by now.
Anabelle pauses while cutting up her meat. “Pretty much the same as pre-married life, honestly.” She shrugs.
“So Asher’s still a miserable prick, and you’re still Suzie Sunshine.” I stab my salad with a fork.
Anabelle tilts her head as though I’m a misbehaving student, and she’s the teacher ready to discipline. “He’s not a prick. I like to think he’s… misunderstood most of the time.”
I laugh. “Sure, that’s it.”
Anabelle shakes her head. “How’s Cinder settling in?”
I try to refrain from showing emotion at the mention of Cinder’s name. “Haven’t seen that much of her, but fine.”
Anabelle frowns. “You haven’t spent any time with her?”
I shrug and reach for the wine bottle to fill my glass. “Why would I?”
She sets down her cutlery and leans back in her chair, her hands clasped together. “You wouldn’t have brought her to live here if you didn’t have some interest in her.”
I bring the wine glass to my lips, taking a large gulp to buy myself some time. Anabelle watches me intently, her eyebrows raised to let me know she’s waiting for me to answer.
I put down the wine glass and wipe my mouth with my napkin. “Maybe I was just being a good guy and trying to help out someone in need.”
My answer doesn’t appease her because she gives me a “yeah right” expression. “If that were the case, you could’ve given her some money and sent her on her way.”
Damn her, she has a good point.
“I’m trying to make sure things remain uncomplicated.”
Anabelle laughs. “Everything about love is complicated.”
I scoff. “Who said anything about love?”
She gives me another expression to say she doesn’t buy what I’m selling. “Maybe not yet, but maybe there’s the possibility it could grow between you two. I liked Cinder from the moment I met her at Black Magic Bar.”
What’s not to like? I’ve been obsessed with her since the moment I saw her at TT’s, I think but don’t say.
“Just because you found your happily ever after doesn’t mean we’re all destined for the same.” I shove a mouthful of salad in my mouth, done with this conversation.
Anabelle must be able to tell, because we eat in silence for a few minutes.
“You know Cinder’s birthday is coming up in a couple days. She mentioned it when we were chatting at Black Magic.”
I don’t say anything but continue to eat my meal. I know her fucking birthday is coming up.
“It would be such a shame if she had to celebrate it on her own. In this big, strange house that she doesn’t know.” She lifts her wineglass to her lips. “Just saying.”
I know what she’s trying to do. I know, and yet damn it, it’s working. I hate the idea of Cinder feeling as if no one cares enough to acknowledge her birthday. Has anyone ever done something special on her birthday? Something tells me the answer is not in a very long time.
I sit, continuing to eat and trying to let it go. To not care what Cinder does for her birthday. But it’s like an itch under my skin that I can’t quite reach. And by the time Asher walks in to join us, I know what I’m going to do despite my need for self-preservation.
“Sorry that took so long.” He stops at the end of the table and looks around the room. “Just the three of us tonight?”
I set my napkin on the table and push my chair out to stand. “Just the two of you. I have something I need to go do.” Anabelle gives me a cheeky grin, and I roll my eyes. “See you two later.”
“The more over the top, the better,” Anabelle calls out, laughing.
I flip her off right before leaving the room.
“What was that about?” Asher asks her.
Oh, nothing. Your youngest brother is just choosing torture over self-preservation, Ash. Nothing to see here. Nothing at all.