Chapter 25
Twenty-Five
Igo in search of Cinder, knowing where I’ll find her.
When she returned from work last night, she didn’t seek me out and went right to her room. I’ve resisted telling her I want her in my bed every night, not wanting to push her too much. So I forced myself not to look for her until after lunch and I had gotten some work done.
Music floats from behind the closed doors of the ballroom, and I smile, knowing she’s inside. I slip inside quietly and arrange myself behind one of the large columns so I can watch her dance.
She’s dressed in a black one-piece leotard with no sleeves as she bends and stretches to the music. The song she’s dancing to has an upbeat tempo, and I assume she must have been here for a while already because there’s a sheen to her skin and strands of hair have fallen out of her bun.
She is so fucking magnificent to watch. Whether I already had the proclivity or not, I could watch her all day. Her focus, the emotion that pours from her as she somehow interprets the words of the song and turns them into visual artistry.
The song ends, and she holds her pose before walking to her water and towel.
I clap, revealing myself, and walk out from behind the pillar. She whips around, startled, then smiles when she sees it’s me. She bends down for her phone and turns off the music.
“How long were you watching?” Cinder tilts her head playfully before taking a long drink from her water.
God, it feels so good to have her know I like to watch and know she doesn’t care or get weirded out.
“For most of that song, though I wish it were longer.”
She chuckles and sets down the water, picking up her towel. “I like to dance when I have something I’m trying to sort out in my head. It’s always helped me organize my thoughts, if only because I’m not focusing on it for a time. The problem always feels more surmountable after I dance.” She pats the sweat from her face and neck with the towel.
I frown. “What problem are you dealing with?”
“More trying to figure out how to make something happen.”
I study her for a beat, wanting to ask her, but Cinder usually isn’t shy about telling me anything, and I told her the other day I’d give her more time to figure out what she wants. Even if it drives me crazy. “Are you done here for now?”
“Yeah, I’m tired.”
“Why don’t you get changed, then we can go for a walk around the manor grounds? I haven’t even given you the full tour yet.”
Her eyes light up. “That would be wonderful. I just need to have a quick shower first. Can you give me an hour?”
“Of course. I’ll swing by your room to get you in an hour.” I kiss her and wrap my arms around her body, loving the way she’s still slicked with sweat because it reminds me of when we’re having sex.
An hour later,I lead Cinder onto the grounds of the manor.
“I love this time of year,” she says, breathing deeply. “It always feels full of new possibilities. Plants start growing again and animals have their babies.” She shrugs. “It just feels like a renewal of the earth. I like to think we’re the same.”
I link her fingers with mine, guiding her past the hedge maze.
“What’s that?” she asks.
“A hedge maze. Fair warning, if you go in there, it could take you a while to get out. Though Anabelle’s an expert now, so she could probably lead you through it quite easily.”
“She is?”
I think back to Asher and Anabelle’s journey to finding each other. “Long story.” I squeeze her hand. “Now tell me what you have on your mind.”
I should give her time, but I worry that her decision will take her away from me. I’ve stewed over it for the last hour, and I’m hoping she’ll trust me to talk out what she’s looking into. I’m thinking it has something to do with her looking inside the unit for lease close to Black Magic Bar.
“Well, I think I’ve figured out what I’d like to do if I left TT’s. I’m just trying to decide if I can make it work.”
“What is it?”
I glance to my side, and she presses her lips together, almost as if she’s nervous to tell me.
“I… I want to open a dance studio and teach kids.” She whips her head to meet my gaze. “Sounds totally crazy and stupid, right?”
My forehead wrinkles. “Of course not. You’re a wonderful dancer, and any child would be lucky to have you as their teacher. Is that why you were looking in that unit for rent last night?”
One corner of her lips lifts, but she doesn’t mention how the only way I could know that is if I was watching her from afar.
“It is. I called the number first thing this morning, and I have enough money saved to afford the rent for a few months, but not enough to do the renovations that would be needed to convert it to a dance studio. I’m afraid that if I keep working and save enough money for the renos, the unit might be gone by then. But what choice do I have? I’ll just have to keep saving and cross my fingers that it’s still available when I am ready. Put my hands in destiny.”
I pull her to a stop on the path. “What are you talking about? I’ll pay for the renovations. Hell, I’ll pay for the rent.”
She shakes her head and drops my hand. “No. That’s not why I’m telling you.” She starts walking ahead on the path, and my steps grow faster to catch up.
“Cinder, I don’t know if you know this, but I’m kind of a big deal.”
She shakes her head but laughs.
“Seriously though, I have more money than I could ever spend in this lifetime. Let me pay for it all.”
“But it means something to me.”
I pull her to a stop, and she turns to face me, arms crossed, hip out.
“I want to see you live out your dream,” I say in a low voice.
Her head tilts and her arms drop to her sides. “I want that too, but I can’t take your money, Nero. It doesn’t feel right. You’ve allowed me to live here without paying rent. You bought me all those clothes, and you feed me. You helped my friend. I cannot keep taking things from you. I’ll figure it out, don’t worry.”
She turns to head down the path again, and I roll my eyes. “Why are you being so stubborn about this?”
“Because I don’t want you thinking I’m only here for your money. It’s the least interesting thing about you.”
A warm sensation spreads through my chest. “Which is exactly why I want to help you.”
She stops and spins to face me. “Nero, I can’t take your money. But I appreciate the offer.”
Jesus, why can’t she see that it’s not a big deal?
Time to change my angle. “What if it was a business loan? Would you let me loan you the money, and you can pay me back over time?”
She doesn’t shoot me down right away, so hopefully I have her interested.
“How would that work?”
“I’d give you whatever money you need to get the place up and running, and every month you pay me a little back.”
Her eyebrows raise to her hairline. “With interest.”
I sigh. “Sure, with interest.” Technically, if I charge her 0.25 percent, that would meet the terms of our agreement. “What do you say?”
She mulls it over. I see she still doesn’t love the idea. I get she wants to do it on her own, but I want her to have her dream come true as fast as she does. Her happiness is my happiness.
“Okay, it’s a deal.”
“Great. And if you need any help on the business end, you can ask me.” I pull her in for a kiss. “Now you can quit TT’s, and I won’t have to worry about that loose cannon showing up and hurting you.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about that anyway. Lisa said Freddie hasn’t even tried to reach out to her since that night.”
“Nonetheless, I’ll feel better about it.”
We walk again, and the horse stables come into view in the distance.
“What’s that?” she asks.
“That’s where we keep the horses.”
Her eyes widen in excitement. “You have horses?”
“Would you like to meet them?”
“Absolutely!” Her pace increases.
If I’d known she was this into horses, I would’ve brought her out here a long time ago. I probably would have bought her a horse of her own.
We reach the stables.
“Wow, this is way nicer than the barn on my family property.”
In truth, the horses here are probably living better than half the people in the country.
“You grew up with horses?” I place my hand on her lower back, guiding her to the first horse.
“We had two. They weren’t anything fancy, but I used to love visiting them in the stables. Riding them, not so much. I never got very good at it. Do you ride?”
Nodding, I pet the horse. “I do. Though I haven’t taken any of them out in a while.”
“Who’s this?” Cinder asks when she pets the caramel-colored horse.
“This is Umbra.”
“Hi, Umbra.” Cinder pets her, and it’s easy to see that she’s a natural. When her expression grows contemplative, I ask what she’s thinking about. She sighs. “There’s one thing I’m worried about, besides how much it’s going to cost to do the renovations.”
“What?” I rub a hand down her upper arm.
“Do you think that if people found out I used to be a stripper, they’d still bring their kids to be taught by me?”
I frown. “If they won’t, then it’s their loss. I’ve seen you dance, and I’ve seen you with Lisa’s kids, and you’re a natural at both. Don’t let what other people think hold you back. People will come.”
She twists her mouth. “I hope so.” Then she drops her hand from Umbra and turns around to look at the other horses. Her eyes widen. “Oh my, who is this?”
Cinder beelines it to the other side of the aisle.
“That’s Asher’s horse, Poe. Be careful though, he’s pretty temperamental. Just like his owner.”
The shiny black stallion gives me a look as though he’s not impressed by my words, but as soon as Cinder walks over to him, he turns his attention to her.
“Wow, he’s huge!” She reaches to touch him, and I bolt forward, afraid Poe is going to freak out as he often does. But holy shit, he actually allows her to touch him.
When the horse leans down and rests his head on her shoulder, I openly gape. I push a hand through my hair. “Jesus, I’ve never seen Poe act like this with anyone. Even Asher.”
Cinder smiles. “I’ve always felt a kinship with animals. There’s this stray cat that hangs around the back of the bar, and I always sneak him food. He’s so cute.”
Watching her with Poe, I remember watching her with two terrified little girls and how she worked so well to calm them. For the first time ever, an inkling of wanting to be a father rushes through me. A part of me says to get her pregnant as fast as possible so that I can see her as a mother to our child.
I didn’t even feel that way with Maude. Sure, I assumed we’d have kids one day, but it wasn’t something I imagined or daydreamed about.
I come up behind her and kiss the back of her head, resting my hands through the belt loops of her jeans. “You’re something else, you know that?”
She looks at me over her shoulder, beaming. “Because a temperamental horse likes me?”
“No, just because you’re you.”
When I tug her back into me by the belt loops, and she feels my hard length press against her, she lets out a soft moan. And when I yank her jeans down and make her come on my face a moment later in the stables, you’d better believe I give Poe a look of superiority. There’s only room for one man in this woman’s life, and I’m him.