Chapter 18
ALEX
Don’t Say Nothing | Del Water Gap
‘Long dark hair and eyes you want to lose yourself in?’ Alex asked his favourite security guard. Kevin was exceptionally good at blocking people he didn’t want to see. But for once, he was an obstacle in the way of something Alex actually wanted.
‘Uh-huh. Sure.’
‘Send her up. Thanks, Kev.’
Five minutes later, footsteps paused outside Alex’s office door.
He let Sarah linger for thirty seconds before he made her decision for her. Her face was slightly agonised when he opened the door, quickly shifting to surprise, before settling on the usual level of light disdain she seemed to reserve for him.
‘Evening, Princess.’ He leaned on the doorframe, watching as her eyes bounced across his chest, landing on the biceps pushed out by his crossed arms. ‘Are you going around telling people you’re my girlfriend now? I don’t mind. I’m just—’ He grunted—more in surprise than pain—as Sarah sauntered past him, elbowing him in the stomach as she went. ‘Why so violent tonight?’
‘He made an assumption. I didn’t correct him because I thought you might not want your entire company to know you invited your fuck buddy around between meetings. Unless that’s a thing you do often. In which case, sorry for damaging your street cred or whatever.’ She was rambling. She couldn’t be nervous . Sarah rubbed at her elbow. ‘Also, why are your abs like a brick wall?’
‘I’ve never done this,’ Alex said quickly, suddenly desperate to smooth the furrow that had appeared between her eyebrows. ‘It’s…not as uncommon as it should be for some of the others, but despite what you might believe, I take my job quite seriously. And you’ve never had any complaints about my abs before.’
He grinned as he recalled a particularly fun night earlier in the week, when she’d called him a vain imbecile for working out so much, before shimmying down his chest and stomach, licking each ridge of muscle as she went.
‘And yet…’ She gestured to herself.
‘There are exceptions to every rule.’ And she was becoming the exception to so many of his. She was also too damn far from him, looking out the window at the view over the city. It was his favourite thing about his office—his favourite thing about the job, possibly—and seeing the summer sunset burn across the sky was the only thing that made his late nights worth it anymore.
Sarah was stunning as ever, sultry makeup and loose curls contrasting against the cosy flannel shirt and jeans combination that highlighted the curve of her waist and skimmed over hips he wanted to dig his thumbs into. It wasn’t an outfit for a quickie in his office. It was for Saturdays on the couch, lazily exploring each other’s bodies when they arrived home from a walk or buying groceries.
Maybe it was the endless weeks of a front row seat to Abby and Erik’s easy devotion. Maybe it was the impending wedding and the feeling of relationship mortality it brought him. Maybe it was just that he was a year away from turning thirty, and something in his hardwiring was telling him to start settling down. But with each passing day, he found himself craving those quiet moments more.
For now, he’d take what he could get.
‘Are you feeling better?’ Alex asked, stepping closer.
‘I’m fine. I spent two days on the couch. Took an everything shower. Ate a salad. Feel human again.’ She shrugged.
He fought the temptation to pull her into his chest, to tell her not to ignore the warning signs her body was giving her, to beg her to slow down. To beg her to call him next time she needed comfort.
He suspected it wouldn’t be appreciated, but he paused all the same. ‘Burnout isn’t something to play with, Princess.’ He would know. At present, it felt like he was always a single setback or one missed workout away from spiralling. Celine and their nightly walks helped. Sarah helped. But every moment was shrouded by the threat of his spinning plates crashing down on him.
‘I’m not burnt out, I’m just—’ Sarah huffed. ‘I love that I get to make a living painting. But the people commissioning me are the worst. And I needed some time to wallow in the death of art and creativity.’ That wasn’t quite what she’d said on the phone, her defences brought down by sickness or the relative emotional anonymity of hiding her face. At his expression, she continued, ‘You know what would help?’
It would help him too, after another day filled with too many meetings and not enough time to breathe. And if she wouldn’t let him support her any other way…
‘You look gorgeous,’ Alex said, moving to stand behind her.
Sarah laughed, that beautiful, throaty sound he’d been hearing in his dreams for days, and said, ‘Save your compliments for when you see the bra, Aleksander.’
‘I realise I spend most of my time staring at your chest, but that’s not the only part of you I find attractive.’
A tremor moved through her when their eyes met in the transparent reflection in the window.
‘Can I?’ he asked softly, wondering when this woman had stripped away all his bravado.
When she nodded, his arms slid around her to undo the top button of her shirt.
‘Right here?’ Her eyes were wide, and her parted mouth had him dying to sink his teeth into her plush lower lip.
‘One-way glass.’ He kissed the patch of shoulder he’d exposed. ‘No one can see us without the lights on in here. Not clearly. Do you want to keep looking at the sunset, Princess?’ He let the unspoken words linger between them.
Do you want me to take you like this?
Sarah moved his hands back to the front of her shirt in answer.
‘Good call,’ he murmured. Another button revealed the purple lace he’d been thinking about for the best part of an hour. It brought a groan from his chest. ‘When did you get this?’
‘Today.’
‘Good. I thought you might have been holding out on me.’
She didn’t seem to be a lingerie girl, unless she had been holding out on him. And he didn’t particularly care, because the first time he’d seen her in a plain white bra and cotton boy shorts, he’d almost passed out from how sexy it was. She didn’t need frills and lace to undo him. But opening another button and finding more creamy skin in sharp relief against the dark fabric wasn’t exactly keeping him calm.
‘ Why did you get it?’ he asked, jaw tight with desperation. Say it’s for me. Please.
‘Felt like it,’ she said, shrugging.
Her shirt now fully unbuttoned, Alex had paused with his hands on her hips, taking in the way the fabric draped around her body.
‘Are you done?’ Sarah asked.
When Alex met her gaze once more, he found one pretty, fierce eyebrow arched. And he was thankful for a lifetime of covering his feelings with clever words as he said, ‘Just taking my time.’ While the sentiment deflected, his voice was shakier than he would have liked. ‘I can rush if you’d like…but you came all this way. And I promised I’d make it worth your while.’
The eyebrow dropped, replaced with an arch of her neck as he ran his nose along the soft skin there. When he’d inhaled enough of her sandalwood scent, his hands dropped to the high waistband on her jeans, popped the trio of buttons, and slid the thick fabric down her hips to find—
‘Oh, fuck me ,’ he breathed, when a suspender belt in the same shade and fabric came into view.
‘You know, I would, if you’d ever undress me.’ Her tone was sardonic, and he had to be a glutton for punishment, because it made him even harder than the exquisite visual he could half see in the window.
Although he got his own back by pushing his hips against hers, treasuring the little gasp that escaped her.
After yanking her jeans to the floor, he took in the full view, slightly dumbstruck by the complete matching set she’d hidden beneath that entirely unassuming outfit.
‘Are you trying to kill me?’ he muttered into her neck.
‘Depends,’ Sarah said, preparing to remove her shirt. ‘Is it working?’
‘Leave it on,’ Alex said quickly, choosing not to linger on why her wearing an oversized shirt and little else was really doing something for him. One hand came down to palm her hip. ‘Princess?’
‘Yes?’
Finally, finally her voice was showing some of the strain he’d been feeling since she sent him that picture.
‘Arms on the windowsill.’
‘You actually brought me food?’
Sarah shrugged as she tucked the front of her shirt back into her jeans. ‘I figured you might not have eaten today.’
‘That’s…that’s really thoughtful. Thank you.’ Alex failed miserably at controlling the crack in his voice, hinting at too much emotion. Apart from Maggie—who was paid well to do it—he couldn’t remember the last time someone had bothered to take care of him like that.
Sarah stiffened. ‘It’s really not a big deal. I needed a cover story.’
After filling his office with the prettiest, neediest sounds, her voice was back to aloof. She sauntered to his desk as she spoke. ‘You seemed like a sushi type.’
He was. She’d gone to his favourite place, too. The one he frequented for lunch on the rare days his brain and his schedule aligned so he could look after himself.
‘I have thirty minutes before my meeting. Eat with me.’
‘I didn’t get enough for two.’ Flicking her eyes over him, she continued, ‘I probably didn’t get enough for one, considering you’re the size of a mountain. How many calories do you need a day?’
A grin stretched Alex’s tired face. Each time she made a similar comment, it delighted him more, knowing that despite her attempts at derision, his body was taking up as much of her mental space as it was physical. ‘I wasn’t going to eat until I got home anyway. Whatever I get will be an improvement to the situation. And let’s not pretend you don’t love how big I am, Princess.’
She flipped him off at that, and he caught her wrist mid-air to pull her down onto his lap. When she squirmed, trying to get up, he snaked an arm around her waist. ‘Sit. Eat.’
‘Can I at least get my own chair instead of you pawing at me?’
‘No.’ He was in heaven, all her soft curves pressed deliciously against him. If being annoying was the way to be close to her, he’d do it.
‘I’m heavy. You’ll be uncomfortable in like two minutes.’
There seemed a strange dichotomy in how she saw her body. The way she moved through the world suggested confidence. That she knew how stunning she was and how to use it. But then she would say things like that, and make him wonder who the piece of shit was who hadn’t been able to handle the woman on top of him.
‘It’s not the first time you’ve been on top of me this week. I think I’ll manage. And I’m pretty sure I lift more than your weight most times I work out.’
‘Always bragging.’ Sarah rummaged in the bag and drew out a container and a pair of chopsticks. ‘Just for that, I’m taking the spicy tuna rolls.’
Alex laughed, and something in his brain snagged on the idea that it had been months since he’d sat in that chair and felt so light . Searching through the remaining options to distract himself, he found his favourite. She couldn’t have known. She’d probably just selected five popular dishes at random. Still. It felt significant. ‘I prefer nigiri anyway. But I am not at all surprised you like something with a bite.’
In every sense.
Something he’d been thrilled to discover the day he’d scraped his teeth over her thigh and she’d clenched around his fingers.
Minutes passed in silence as they ate, and for once, Alex didn’t feel the need to fill them.