Chapter Eighteen
WHAT WAS HAPPENING? How did I end up sitting in Kaven’s mother’s kitchen being fed like a stray cat taken in from the cold? Fate has a twisted sense of humor, always dangling a carrot just to whack me with a stick. “Here, sweetie, drink this. It’s calming,” Mrs. Rafferty said, placing a steaming cup of tea in front of me.
I took a cautious sip and sighed. “Thank you, Mrs. Rafferty.”
“Call me Mama, we’re family now,” she replied with a warm smile, and the fact was she was a petite woman, and still beautiful for her age, it just didn’t feel right calling her Mama. She bustled around the kitchen like a whirlwind, throwing ingredients into bowls with the precision of a seasoned chef. “I hope you like stuffed peppers and almond cake.”
“Umm, I’ve never had either,” I admitted, taking another sip of the surprisingly delicious tea. It really was calming me down.
She stopped mid-step, surprise lighting up her face. “You’ve never had stuffed peppers or almond cake? Are you of the Irish or Scottish?” she asked, eyeing my red hair with curiosity.
I chuckled, “Believe it or not, I’m Italian.”
She beamed at me, her eyes twinkling. “Hair so red, I wouldn’t have guessed. Your name is Hadleigh, yes?” I nodded, and she pressed on. “Now, tell me why you don’t want to marry my son?”
I shrugged, struggling to find the words until I finally managed, “I want him to want me because he loves me, not just see me as an obligation.”
“He loves you, that’s plain to see. I see the fire in his eyes when you two argue,” she said, waving a spoon at me like a magic wand. “Kaven was always the most sensitive and passionate of my boys. I’m guessing he fell hard quickly and isn’t handling it well. But you two have something I can see it, a passion that all young lovers should have,” she said, with an almost wistful look in her eyes.
“Mama, you did not just use the word ‘lovers’,” Fenix said, feigning horror as all the men filed into the room. Kaven sat next to me, his eyes filled with questions.
“Your mama was a young girl once. How do you think you boys were made?” she challenged him with a mischievous smile and a wink at me before turning back to the stove.
“We eat and then head back to the clubhouse,” Kaven whispered, leaning close. “You took a big risk being seen by leaving, and I’ll be lucky if Patch doesn’t find out about this and kills me.”
I bit back a retort, not wanting to cause a scene in front of his sweet mother. Besides, the sight of his brothers watching us with amused smiles was enough to keep me quiet. They all looked so much alike, the only differences being age and Fenix’s sea-green eyes instead of black. The family resemblance was uncanny.
For the next hour, I indulged in delicious food and listened to the men’s banter. Mama Rafferty kept piling food onto our plates with a smile, and I found it oddly comforting. This kind of warmth and togetherness was foreign to me. My family loved me, but displays of affection were rare, and we never sat around the table talking and laughing like this.
Finally, when I thought I couldn’t eat another bite without bursting, Kaven announced it was time to leave. His mother hugged me, patting my stomach as she looked at Kaven. “I want you to bring Hadleigh for Sunday supper.”
“I will, Mama,” he promised, kissing her cheek. “Love you, see you Sunday.”
As we walked to the exit, Kaven tried to take my hand, but I shook it off. “Haddie, what is wrong? I know you’re pissed, but goddammit!”
I knew I was acting childish, but I couldn’t help it. The hurt was too deep, so I gave him the silent treatment. He just shook his head and stopped me at the door. “Keep your head lowered and lean into me so you won’t be recognized,” he ordered, pulling me against his side with a grip I couldn’t escape.
At his motorcycle, he pulled out a helmet and plopped it onto my head, fastening it for me like a child since I was acting like one. He straddled the bike and said, “Climb on.”
With a huff, I climbed on behind him, gingerly touching his sides like he was covered in poison. He kickstarted the bike and lurched forward, causing me to screech in terror, my arms flying around his waist to hold on for dear life.
“Hold on tight,” Kaven called over the roar of the engine, his voice filled with amusement. He revved the engine, and we shot down the road like a bullet.
The world blurred around us as we sped through the streets, the wind whipping against my face. My initial terror began to morph into exhilaration as the motorcycle leaned into the curves, Kaven expertly navigating the twists and turns. The city flickered past us in a dizzying display, and I found myself clinging to him not just out of necessity, but out of a strange sense of trust and excitement.
Kaven’s body was warm and solid against mine, his confidence clear. He glanced back at me briefly, a mischievous grin on his face. “Having fun yet?”
“Terrified, but yes!” I shouted back, unable to suppress a laugh. The thrill of the ride was starting to get to me, my fear replaced by a rush of adrenaline.
We zoomed through the city, the bike weaving effortlessly through traffic. Kaven took us onto the open highway, the landscape constantly shifting. The ride was wild and reckless, and I couldn’t help but feel alive in a way I hadn’t in a long time.
Kaven slowed down, guiding the bike onto the winding country road that led to the clubhouse. The evening air was cool and fresh, filled with the scent of blooming flowers and earth, as he pulled to a stop.
He turned off the engine, the sudden silence almost deafening after the roar of the ride. “What did you think?” he asked, his eyes sparkling with excitement.
I pulled off the helmet, my hair a wild mess. “That was... incredible,” I admitted, my heart still pounding. “It was so exhilarating and nothing like riding my bike.”
Kaven’s expression softened, and he reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m glad,” he said quietly. “I wanted to cheer you up, see you smile and laugh.”
For a moment, I felt a flicker of hope. Maybe things could be different, and we could work through all our problems. “Thank you, Kaven,” I said, my voice sincere.
He smiled; a genuine, heart-stopping smile that made my stomach do a flip and my thighs clench with need. Our eyes were locked as his hand moved toward my face and my heart sped up with anticipation.
But just as quickly, that feeling was extinguished by the sound of a high-pitched female voice. My heart dropped as I turned to see a curvy brunette approaching us. Her high heels making her wobbly as she made her way over to where we stood.
Hope shattered in the span of only seconds.
Kaven’s smile disappeared and his hand froze mid-air as she came to stand in front of us. “Finally, I came tonight just to see you, baby,” she cooed, her attention solely focused on Kaven. “Valley said he didn’t know when you’d be back.”
My blood boiled as she casually looked me up and down with detached curiosity. “Oh, am I interrupting?”
Before I could even respond, Kaven, whose eyes never left mine, snapped at her, “I’m busy.”
But she wasn’t deterred as she suggested, “Darn, I was hoping you didn’t already have a girl for the night, but we can share,” she insisted, her hand now on my arm. “Midnight can handle both of us, right, baby?”
The rage bubbled inside me as I finally found my voice. “No thanks. You can have him all to yourself,” I spat, before storming away.
Kaven called after me, but I refused to stop and talk. I practically ran through the common room and down the hallway until I reached my room. Slamming the door shut and flipping the lock, I leaned against it and caught my breath.
But my peace was short-lived as I heard Kaven pounding on the other side of the door. “Dammit, Haddie!” he shouted. “I didn’t invite that bitch here and you know it. We need to talk and work this shit out!”
Frustration and hurt mingled within me as I walked over to the connecting door and flipped the lock just as Kaven’s hand touched the knob from his side. “Stop, Haddie!” he yelled, still pounding on the door. “Stop running from me and talk to me, for fuck’s sake!”
But I didn’t want to talk about it. Everything was always an illusion meant to fool me and I was so tired of starring in the magic show. So, I leaned my forehead against the cool wood of the door, trying to ignore his desperate pleas.
Tears streamed down my face as I leaned against the door, my heart aching at the realization that our relationship will never be what it was by that waterfall in South Carolina. You’re nothing but a stupid dreamer, Hadleigh.
MY FIST HIT the wall with a loud thud, skin splitting and leaving a bloody print. Was I being punished? Shit, I didn’t even know who the hell that bitch was or why she showed up acting like I was a tomcat prowling the night, just as I was making a breakthrough with Haddie. Yes, I had a history of messing around, but I’ve changed over the last year. The party life wasn’t as appealing, and since I’ve been with Haddie, no other woman could take her place.
Surely, she could see that we needed to talk this out. All the misunderstandings needed to be worked through, and we couldn’t do that by constantly fighting. I stormed out of my room and back into the common room, dropping onto a stool and signaling Adam for a beer.
“Looks like you got woman problems,” Lucky chuckled from the stool next to me. “Those redheads can be a hot-headed bunch, but if you can tame one of ’em? Lordy, the time you’ll have.”
I only grunted in reply, taking a long drink of my beer. I glanced at my bloody knuckles, the fresh crimson stark against my calloused skin. Another mark to add to my collection. My thoughts drifted back to Haddie again. Her fire red hair and dancing blue eyes now held enough anger to light up the whole damn clubhouse.
The music pumped from the speakers, a fierce rhythm of heavy metal that churned the air and set pulses racing and ears ringing. I casually glanced around the room as laughter rang over the music, mingling with the crack of pool balls being struck and the clink of bottles.
I glanced at Lucky, a scar-riddled bear of a man who’d long passed his prime but had more stories than anyone I knew. He took another swig from his bottle and gave me a grin. “She’ll come around,” he assured me with a knowing smile.
“I didn’t think it would be this hard,” I mumbled into my bottle.
“Welcome to reality, kid.”
“Midnight?” a female voice said from behind me, and I turned to see the woman from outside. “I didn’t mean to cause problems, but it seems she left you alone and, well...” Her fingers traced a path down her chest provocatively.
My eyes flicked up and down, taking her in, trying for the life of me to remember her. Jesus, I must have been drunk that night. She was attractive in a stiletto-and-tight-dress kind of way, but there were thousands like her floating in and out of here all year long.
Forgettable.
She lacked the fire in her eyes that Haddie had, the spark of intelligence that always impressed me. Haddie was so damn unique and beautiful it twisted my gut thinking about it. The woman in front of me lacked the familiar tug at my heartstrings, the binding ties that never seem to come undone, only getting tighter.
I cut her off with a glare when her hand reached for me. “Don’t,” I grumbled, tilting my bottle back for another swallow. “I just want to drink my beer... alone.”
“But, I...” she started, but Lucky interrupted her with a hearty chuckle.
“He’s made his choice,” he croaked out, slapping my shoulder hard. “All you’re doin’ is makin’ a fool of yourself, honey.”
She huffed and walked away, leaving me to my beer and brooding. The music thumped on, each beat resonating in my chest like the anger and confusion pulsing through my veins.
“Women,” Lucky spoke, finishing his bottle and burping loudly. He motioned to Adam for another round. “They’ll spin you ‘round, that’s for sure.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at his words. “Isn’t that the truth?” I mumbled, tracing patterns on the bar with my finger.
Lucky looked at his watch and said, “I better go check on Mikie. Promised Sarah I’d look out for him while she works. The kid’s got the hots for Ava and tends to overstay his welcome at the barn.”
“Typical teenager. We’ve all been there.” I chuckled at the image of Scotch tolerating Mikie tailing behind Ava. “I didn’t think Sarah would still work at the club?”
“Where you been, boy?” Lucky asked. “Jonesy is quittin’, Snipe is takin’ over. She’s just helpin’ out while Jonesy trains Snipe.”
“I should have seen that coming.”
“Yep, a strip club ain’t no place for a taken man, especially if that man is engaged to my daughter,” Lucky smirked, getting up and heading out.
I didn’t see the appeal of a strip club that most men did, and they always act like they struck gold when they walked inside. When most of them had a good woman at home waiting for them, just plain stupid.
Alcohol and lighting hid so much shit and after working there, you see the back end—the women, some drug addicts, some dancing to survive financially, and some just running from a past of abuse, their smiles disappearing as soon as the music ends, and the lights go out. And the look on some of the men’s faces, predatory and sick, always reminded me of the day me and Valley found my sister Kezia, beaten and raped before someone threw her away like trash.
Shit like that stays with you forever, the image imprinted on your brain.
But my mama always taught me a kind word with a smile can go a long way, and I always tried to do that throughout my life and found myself doing it a lot at Twisted Heat. I looked at the time on my phone and stood. Duty called, and I needed to get moving.