Midsummer

13. Ivy

Carter’s hot body pressed against mine from behind, his torso to my back and his hands wrapped around my wrists next to my head. It was so hot in the tiny backstage closet. We were supposed to be freshly showered and ready to party. We were supposed to be meeting Miri and Lex in the foyer to go to the pub.

Yeah, we had that stupid camping trip with the rest of the theater group early tomorrow morning, but we needed a night to blow off some steam. Carter had other plans. He’d been staring at my ass for hours, so when he’d finally gotten me alone, he shoved me up against the wall and bit my earlobe, making me wilt against him, pliant and ready for anything he wanted.

“You’ve been fucking teasing me all day,” he said. “Wearing your tank top and these fucking cutoffs.”

He kneeled behind me, sliding his hands up my thighs to grip the sides of my shorts to duck his fingers under the waistband of the denim and my underwear. I nearly yelped as he yanked them down to my ankles but not off, keeping my feet tied together. Another shudder went through me at the thought that I’d be at his mercy, completely bound to his whim.

He stood again, his head pressing against the side of mine, and I arched my pelvis into the growing bulge currently at my ass. When he hissed in a breath, I bit back a laugh. I’d never get over how much I loved being with him. He was the only one who unraveled me so completely and who made me feel safe and content and treasured all at the same time.

Who could ever replace him?

Lex.

The thought came to me suddenly, stabbing me in the gut, and I almost recoiled from the weight.

No, I thought. Not here. Not now. Stay in the present.

“I live to tease you, Mister Scott.” The words tumbled out of my mouth, forced out by a version of me that needed to cling to him like a liferaft.

“Oh, don’t I know it.” The sound of his metal zipper sliding down filled the small space, and I shivered, knowing what would come next. I wanted it more than anything. It had been a week since we’d been able to have this much alone time, and God, what an eternity. He poised himself at my entrance and slid home, and I accommodated him, the feeling so familiar and perfect and right.

How many times had he been inside me? How many times had we been this connected? Hundreds. Thousands. Millions, and now, we were down to our last two weeks. It broke my heart.

No.

Determined to forge my own way, I refocused on how good it felt when he gripped my shoulder, how much I ached each time he hit that spot only he could find, and how I spread my knees when he circled around my hip to rub my clit.

“No one else can make you feel like this,” he growled. “Only me, right? Only I know how to make Ivy Washington purr.”

We’d role-played before. We’d done the possessive, jealous boyfriend thing. But in real life, Carter and I trusted each other. For me, there was no one else, save for one distinctly unavailable princess. Despite this, his rough tone sounded alarms in the back of my mind, his voice ringing too true.

“Say it,” he snarled, biting into my shoulder, the back of my neck, and my ears. “Say it.”

“Only you,” I said. “Only you.”

“That’s right,” he said. “Only you turn me on like this. Make me come undone.”

My stomach twisted and my heart sank as I curled my fingers into fists. Then he changed. His arms came around me, holding me close, and his thrusts slowed, the animalistic energy between us dissipating to leave a tender warmth in its wake.

“Remember that,” he whispered. “When this is all over. Remember us like this.”

“Carter.” My voice shook as I struggled to form words.

“Shh,” he said. “I’m not done with you yet.”

He made me come twice before he was done, and at the end, he turned me around so he could stare into my eyes as his release hit. Carter and I had been through everything together. We’d done things that would embarrass me to admit to anyone else, but this was the most connected to him I’d ever felt. This tether between us burned brighter than it ever had, and that made me feel worse.

Very soon, I’d have to sever it, and it would break his heart. I didn’t want to do that to him, and I didn’t want to do that to myself. With that heavy on my conscience, we righted ourselves and met our friends downstairs.

Irish pubs were different from American pubs. Sure, there were wooden seats around a bar and a few tables at the back with people playing beer pong, but the rest of the space was furnished with couches and recliners, like you’d just walked into someone’s home. Which was the whole idea. If a person came to someone’s place to drink, they expected to be treated like family. The live music had just started, pipes and fiddles blaring from the stage by the window, and we found spots on two love seats perpendicular to each other in the far corner to enjoy the show.

“There’s a beer pong tournament going on tonight,” Carter said. “We should sign up.”

“Romeo, the Irish drink on an entirely different level,” Miri cut in, giving her best mischievous grin. “We’ll get our asses handed to us.”

“I don’t know about that.” Carter pursed his lips and gestured to me. “Weeds gets better the more she drinks.”

“You two are a pretty good team,” Miri said.

“What do you say, Weeds?” My boyfriend raised his eyebrows at me, a playfulness in his eyes I hadn’t seen all day. “You in?”

“How could I ever refuse you?” I returned his smile with one of my own.

“DC?”

“Sure,” Lex said.

Carter bolted up and walked over to the sign-up sheet, looking for spots on the board to put our names. Lex went to get beers while Miri and I clapped along to the music, and around my second drink, she convinced me to get up and dance with her. I didn’t know what I was doing, so I kicked my legs and imitated the people around me. When it was my turn to go get a round of drinks, I went to the bar and squeezed my way in between the bodies to get the bartender’s attention.

“Four pints,” I said. He nodded and turned to get them.

“I thought that was you,” came a voice from my right.

Siobhan.

“Hey,” I said. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here,” she said. “I own the place. Remember?”

“Oh. Yeah.” Fucking duh. “How have you been?”

“Fine. You?” She nodded to the dance floor. “I saw you out there. You seem to be in better spirits than the last time we crossed paths.”

That reminded me of my conversation with my siblings and the whole engagement thing. “Look, about what you might have overheard?—”

“Oh, I didn’t hear anything.” Siobhan shook her head and shrugged, acting completely nonchalant.

I narrowed my eyes, suspicion warring with this intense urge to believe her. She had this appeal that reeled me in, that made me want to follow her into battle. I had no idea where it was coming from, and a moment passed where I silently debated whether she was telling the truth.

“But let’s say I did hear something,” Siobhan said. “Why don’t you tell your despicable parents to piss off? Move away? Live your own life?”

I cleared my throat and plastered that fake politician smile on my face, the one I’d been trained to fall back on in situations where I felt uncomfortable. “It’s not that easy.”

She nodded, but the look in her eyes said she didn’t buy it.

“I’d ask that you not say anything to anyone, please. I mean, I can’t stop you. I don’t even know you. But…please.”

She held up a hand, perhaps trying to reassure me. “My lips are sealed.”

“Thank you.” The relief that poured into my lungs made me weightless. The bartender came back with my beers and sat them down in front of me. I reached into my pocket for my money, but Siobhan put her hand on my mine and pushed it away.

“This round’s on the house.”

“Really?” I asked. “Thank you.”

“You guys need it. The shitstorm coming your way?” She blew out a whistle and shook her head, which made me force out this awkward laugh. “I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes when your friends find out about your little secret.”

“Yes, well—thanks again.” This conversation had taken a turn into a topic I didn’t want anyone else to overhear, so I gathered the glasses to walk away, but Siobhan stopped me.

“There’s a midsummer festival in the woods to celebrate the longest day of the year.” Siobhan flashed me a friendly smile, that strange alluring twinkle returning to her soft brown eyes. “We’ll have a few bonfires along with some drinking and music. Usually, only the locals are invited, but you and your friends should come. You could use the revelry.”

She held up a flyer announcing the celebration, giving me an expectant smile. It was in three days, and by then, we’d be knee deep in final rehearsals. I should have said no. I should have told her our schedules would be too hectic. But everything in me wanted to say yes. Bonfires, drinking, dancing. It sounded amazing. It would be rude not to accept, right?

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” I gave her a nod. “We’ll swing by.”

“Great.” She folded the flyer in half and then in half again, tucking it in the back pocket of my jean shorts before giving me a wink. “I’ll see you there, Ivy.”

“Yeah, see you there.” I smiled and headed back to my friends, shoving down the unshakable notion that I might have just agreed to a party with the devil. What was it about her that I found so attractive? It wasn’t in a sexual way, though she was beautiful. It was more…kismet, like I’d always been meant to find her, and now that I had, I needed to listen to her, to fall in beside her.

Lex, Carter, and Miri were missing from the table, and when I went out back, I found my boyfriend and the princess already engaged in a round of beer pong with their first opponents.

“What the hell?” I gaped, both at the fact that he’d gone on without me and, apparently, they were winning.

“You weren’t around,” he said, gesturing to Miri as she took a shot and nailed it in the other team’s cup. “She was ready to go.”

I grimaced, looking at Lex. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Oh, c’mon, X,” Lex flashed me a grin and lit a cigarette. “It’s only a few rounds of beer pong. What could go wrong?”

* * *

Lex and I were unstoppable. We ran that table, knocking people down left and right. Even Siobhan and her favorite roommate, Donnelly, couldn’t beat us. This had the unfortunate side effect of getting me drunker than I wanted.

I was maybe five beers into the night (who was counting?) when the lines between us started to blur. By now, the excitement over team DC had faded. Most of the crowd had relocated back inside the pub, leaving Carter and Miri halfheartedly tossing the ball to try to defeat us.

I hit two more cups, getting another turn.

“Damn,” Lex said, tapping his cigarette. “You are on fire.”

“The focus of a tiger,” I teased, pointing at my eyes with my index and middle finger before pointing back at Carter across the table.

“Hmm.” Carter made a noise low and deep in his throat. “You think so?”

“Count on it, Mister Scott.”

He raised an eyebrow, his eyes shimmering with that delightful sense of mischief only he could bring to a situation. “Okay.” He straightened and turned to Miri. “Juliet, I know a secret.”

“Oh, yeah?” Miri said. “What’s that?”

“I know how to distract Ivy Washington.”

Uh-oh.

My heart raced. I didn’t like that glint in his eye or the purse of his lips.

“I know how to get her full, undivided attention.”

Oh no.

“And I know how to distract Lex at the same time.”

Lex’s low chuckle echoed next to me, and he took a long inhale on his cigarette, tapping it into the tray on the edge of the beer pong table.

“You have my attention, Romeo,” Miri said. “Drive it home.”

“If they make another cup, I take off my shirt,” he said. “If they make a second one, I take off my pants.”

“This is your sad attempt to get naked, Chicago.” Lex shook his head and sighed. “You never needed a reason for that.”

“If they make a third cup,” Carter went on, shifting his eyes from me to Lex in a blatant challenge, “I’ll make out with Miri.”

My heart kicked in a hot, fiery jolt.

Miri gasped.

Lex snorted. “Is that supposed to make me jealous?”

“Does it?” Carter asked, seeming to purposely provoke Lex.

“I’d be more disappointed to see Miri make out with Ivy,” Lex said.

“That can be arranged,” Miri chimed in, her tongue curling around her canine tooth like she was remembering our last night at boarding school. I tried not to tremble.

“Down girl,” Carter said, and Miri laughed. “You’re saying it wouldn’t bother you if I grabbed Miri’s hair, fisted it between my fingers”—he drew it out, taunting Lex—“dragged her head back, and made her suck on my tongue?”

The visual hit me in the gut, clenching my cunt in a twist of arousal and jealous desire.

I wanted to see it.

No, I didn’t.

Yes, I did.

Wait.

He was distracting me. That’s all he was trying to do, and it worked.

Focus.

I shot my turn.

Miss.

Plunk.

Carter reached behind his head, his massive bicep flexing as he fisted his T-shirt and ripped it over his head. I may live to be a hundred years old, and the sight of shirtless Carter Scott would still make my knees tremble.

“Would it bother you if I did the same thing to Ivy?” Lex raised an eyebrow, a hint of a challenge in his tone that he normally reserved for me.

What?

Carter laughed. Fucking laughed. “You’re welcome to try, my friend.”

And that? Well, as Carter liked to say, that sounded like a challenge. He should have known better. Lex wouldn’t back down, and neither would I.

“You think I wouldn’t do it?” I put my hands on my hips, heat burning up my neck and into my cheeks at his disbelief. Didn’t he know me at all?

“I think you’d rather swim through hot garbage than make out with him.” Carter nodded to Lex like he was trash, nothing but scum on his shoes.

How about marry him? The thought pushed into my mind, swirling there for a moment before I shoved it away.

“You’d be surprised,” I said.

Carter smiled at what he thought was a bluff. “Put your balls where your mouth is.”

I looked at Lex, expecting to see hesitation. Instead, I saw only the thrill of the battle, as amped by Carter as he’d ever been mid-fight with me. Miri pursed her amused lips and leaned on the table just enough for her summery blouse to hang open and reveal a teasing hint of cleavage.

Memories of the one night between us skated through my mind, and my skin flamed at the echo of her skin pressed against mine. If she was in this, so was I.

“Fine,” I said. “If you’re sure this is what you want.”

“I don’t think you have the guts.” Carter tilted his head to the side, a proverbial golden retriever bowing down to show it wanted to play.

A small part of my rational brain wondered why he was egging me on and if there was an ulterior motive, but I didn’t focus on it. We were having fun, right? Just college friends poking at each other at a pub in some random tiny town.

“I accept your terms,” Lex said. “You hit another shot, I’ll strip. You hit three, I’ll make your dreams come true.”

The sexual innuendo hung between them like a visible charge, blatant and obvious.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Carter stared at Lex, and the look Lex gave him in response set something ablaze inside me, like it held more than one meaning between them. Then Carter took his turn.

Plunk.

Plunk.

He got his balls back to try again.

Lex twisted his lips into a wry grin before he removed his shirt, twisting his arms over his head to pull it off. My attention caught on his beautiful tattoos, his entire torso lined with them, as he pushed the button through the hole on his jeans and shoved the denim to a puddle at his feet. I tried not to stare. I tried to ignore the designs snaking up his arms and the trail of hair going down the center of his abdomen, disappearing under his black boxers.

But I was drunk, and the beer goggles were firmly in place. I lusted over his body like I had any right to do so. Especially in front of my boyfriend and his girlfriend.

It was the first time I’d ever looked at him and wanted.

Wanted what? I didn’t know. All of him, maybe? Just a bite.

When Lex caught me staring, he froze.

Miss.

Miss.

Carter’s flying Ping-Pong balls drew my attention back to the game.

“Right.” I cleared my throat. “Your turn, Lex.”

He sat down his cigarette and picked up the balls, shooting one and then the other across the table.

Plunk.

Plunk.

“That’s three,” Lex said, calling Carter’s bluff. “Pay up.”

Carter’s eyes lingered on mine for a second, seeming to ask if I was watching, before they shifted to Miri, who grinned up at him like she was seeing the sun for the first time. She licked her lips, and I zeroed in on the motion, remembering how much I’d loved to wrestle her tongue with my own. My pulse pounded as he grabbed the back of her neck and leaned his head down, his lips centimeters from hers.

“Wait,” Lex said.

Carter stopped and looked up at him. I half expected Lex to call this whole thing off and to tell him to get away from his girlfriend. I should have known better. Backing down had never been his style.

“Pants off,” Lex demanded.

“What?” Carter blinked and glanced to me before back to Lex.

“Two was pants off. Three was making out.” Lex inhaled on his cigarette, letting it out in a thick cloud of smoke. “Take off your fucking pants.”

I tightened my hands into fists as I waited to see what Carter would do, every part of my body so aware of this pulsing thread between the four of us. Miri’s hands went to the waistband of Carter’s jeans, and I took a deep breath as she undid them and shoved them to the ground, leaving him standing in his boxers.

Then Carter tilted his head and pressed his mouth to Miri’s, tunneling his fingers into her thick dark hair. She grinned against him as his tongue danced between her lips, their bodies pressed against each other, his bare skin against the soft tulle of her shirt.

It was hard to say what I felt in that moment. A white-hot envious rage snaked its way around my heart, that much was certain, but I wasn’t sure of who. Of Miri, that she was kissing my boyfriend? Of Carter, that he got to openly kiss Miri? Something I had ached to do for years? A weird sense of longing dripped from my chest into my gut, like I wanted to be in between them, kissing them while they kissed each other.

Miri giggled and dug her fingertips into Carter’s sides, tickling him and making him squirm away from her.

“Don’t get too familiar, Romeo,” she said, giving him a wink before turning to the table. “I’m sixth in line for the throne, after all.”

Lex missed his next two shots, so Miri lined herself up, giving me a playful tilt of her lips before sinking both of them.

Plunk.

Plunk.

“That’s four.” Miri squared her jaw at Lex, raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow. “Pay up.”

“We never agreed on what happened at four,” Lex said.

“Well,” Carter said, his voice dripping with suggestion, “if three is Ivy sucking your tongue, I guess four is you sucking Ivy’s.”

The energy shifted. What had been flirtatiously sexual only moments ago had now become a power play between Lex and Carter. I opened my mouth to protest, having wanted to shut this down the minute it started, but the words died on my lips.

“Go on, Weeds,” Carter nodded to my partner. “Put your hands in his hair, yank his head back, and make him suck your tongue.”

Indecision slithered down my spine, paralyzing me and keeping me rooted with my hands at my sides. If I did this, it would change the dynamic between us, maybe make things even worse than they already were.

But Carter’s glare reiterated what he’d said earlier.

I don’t think you have the guts.

Oh, yeah?

Eat your fucking heart out, Carter Scott.

I grabbed the back of Lex’s head, speared my fingers through his silky dark hair, and crushed my lips to his the same way he’d done to me all those years ago. We could have been those kids again, standing on the coast of the Potomac with the sun setting behind us. I’d meant it to be political. I’d meant it to be cold and impersonal. But the moment our skin touched, I knew the only thing that had ever existed between us was burning and blinding and every connotation of the word personal.

His lips were as soft and mesmerizing as I remembered, and when I shoved my tongue in between them, he brushed his against mine in greeting and sucked me deeper into his mouth, delivering on his part of the bet. My blood blistered as the sensation erupted down my body, scalding and desperate. It raced through my veins, burning me from the inside out, making my knees shake, making me want things that I should never consider.

Warm, callused fingertips slid over my shoulders and across my collarbone, leaving goose pimples on my crackling skin.

Why did it feel so good?Why?

It shouldn’t. My cheeks burned, my clothes suffocated me, and the whole world had been lit on fire by this one desperate explosion between us. The palm of his right hand tucked under my jaw and he rubbed his thumb over my pulse…my X. Up and down. Up and down. Tracing it. Marking his own X.

I scratched my fingers against his scalp, fisting and yanking him closer, and his mouth worked against mine, just as greedy and primal, seeking the depths of my kiss as fiercely as I sought his. God, my entire body throbbed, wanting to seek whatever release he could give.

If this was what the rest of my life would be like, what did I have to worry about?

The thought passed through my mind as quickly and as carefree as a Sunday afternoon, but once it was there, it slapped me back to reality.

Oh, God.

Oh. God.

This was Lex. This was my enemy. This was Miri’s boyfriend, and my boyfriend was just over there.

Is he still watching?Does he see how much I liked it? Does he see how much I want Lex? Do they both see?

I broke away from him, shoving at his shoulders as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, gasping for air, desperate for a reality check.

Lex’s wide hazel gaze and slack-jawed look meant he’d obviously been just as surprised as I was, and for a moment when our faces were so close no one else could see us, disappointment echoed in his eyes. Like he didn’t want to stop. Like he wanted to see what would happen if we let this fire blaze out of control.

I did, too.

Carter’s gaze seared my skin, and part of me dreaded what I might find there when I finally peeked. But the other part of me, the competitive part that responded to a challenge, knew Carter had brought this on himself. He hadn’t thought I had the guts. He’d goaded me on. I proved him wrong.

I had a moment to revel in my glorious victory before a familiar heavy hand landed on my neck, and Carter’s mouth devoured mine. He’d put his clothes back on, but his cock pressed into my hip through his pants. Whatever he’d seen in Lex and me had turned him on, and now he sucked my lips like he was trying to lick Lex off me. I melted into the touch, little tingles of euphoria zinging through my body when I tasted Miri’s lip gloss on his mouth. He fisted his hands in my hair, his scent pluming around me, reminding me of how much we loved each other. When he pulled away and smiled, I swayed on my feet, needing my hands on his chest to keep me upright.

Something about the mixture of the four of us, Lex on me, and Miri on Carter, it damn near intoxicated me.

“Let’s call a draw, DC,” Carter hummed, glancing up to my partner.

They exchanged a look that resembled longing, or perhaps almost yearning, like maybe Lex was seconds away from forcing Carter to suck his tongue.

“Fair enough, Chicago.” Lex choked on his words, his voice gravelly, his words slurred.

I started to ask what that was about, but Carter grabbed my hand and pulled me back into the pub.