24. Ivy
The final days of the intensive passed much like the years before it. Two shows a day were exhausting, and by the time the sixth performance was over, I looked forward to performing only once in the evening. Of course, with each passing show, we came one step closer to reality and I got one step further away from answers. I spent as much time as I could in the library, but nothing I found was anything more than myths and legends. What happened to us was real.
Very real.
Once it happened again, I could no longer ignore it. My dreams about the ruins wouldn’t go away. I needed to find something I’d lost while I was out there, probably that ring Siobhan had given me, but now I had questions. She’d been the one who invited me to the festival in the first place. If anyone could give me answers, I had to start with her.
On our second to last day at Killwater, I told everyone I needed some privacy to figure out what to do about my upcoming nuptials, but instead, I slipped into town. I hadn’t told Carter or Miri about Siobhan and the ring. The only one who knew was Lex, and he’d said he saw me talking to her, which meant I wasn’t completely out of the realm here, right? Siobhan must have been a real person.
I fought with myself the entire walk, debating if I should outright accuse her of drugging us or admit I’d lost the ring, despite knowing it was likely priceless. And what the fuck was up with that kiss?
“I’m going to give you a gift.”
What gift? A night I didn’t remember? Drunken orgies with friends I’d known for years? Why were we still experiencing the high days later?
I’d always considered myself logical, rational, perhaps a little over imaginative and anxious, but otherwise, of sound mind, especially in a crisis. So did I really think everything that happened to us was the result of some ring a woman had given me at a bonfire? No. Did I think there was something in the wine everyone was passing around? Plausible.
Doesn’t explain the marks in your hand. Doesn’t explain the time lapse.
I couldn’t trust my own reality anymore, and if I couldn’t do that, then what the hell could I believe? Who could I believe?
When I got to the pub, it was packed with locals. Music blared from the same corner, pipes and guitar hollering a rhythm that reminded me of when the four of us had come here last week. I searched the crowd for her, and when I didn’t find her, I went to the bar.
“Hey, is Siobhan here?” I asked the bartender.
The stranger shrugged. “Haven’t seen her. Ashley’s around.”
“Her sister?”
He nodded and pointed to a booth in the back, where the woman who’d spoken to our group sat with her laptop in front of her. Stephens had introduced her as a folklorist, someone who studied the myths and traditions of the area.
Bingo.
“Hi there,” I said, brushing hair behind my ears as I approached.
Ashley blinked up at me, flashing a genuine smile. “Hello.”
“I’m Ivy,” I said. “From the theater group up at Killwater. You might not remember me.”
“Of course I do. Sit.” She gestured me to the spot opposite her, where I scooted into the spot and tried to remain casual. “What can I do for you?”
“I was wondering if I could talk to Siobhan. She said something that’s stuck with me and I wanted to ask her about it.”
“Oh?” Ashley raised her eyebrows, balancing her head under her chin. “What did she say?”
Like her sister, she had a way of pulling me in and making me want to tell her everything even when I knew I shouldn’t. Being in her presence was oddly soothing, like a warm blanket in a blizzard. Her big brown eyes implored me to keep her gaze, and her genuine smile encouraged me to talk, like I’d known her for eons, like I could trust that she’d keep my secrets safe. It was oddly entrancing, and I had to shake my head to break its spell.
“Something about giving me a gift,” I explained. “She whispered in Gaelic.”
“Where was this?”
“At the festival.”
“Ah.” Ashley gave me a nod. “Did you have fun? I saw you and your friends dancing.”
“Uh—sure.” Until I didn’t. Until things went so wrong so fast. “Look, I really need to speak with her. I think—” I scratched at the back of my head. “I think something happened.”
“Like what?” Ashley seemed perplexed, curious—all too eager for me to divulge everything. I paused and looked for signs that my paranoia might be valid. She seemed a little…off—her face too perfect, her smile too friendly. Her reluctance to say where Siobhan raised alarm bells, and I hesitated. What was I going to tell her? That I’d had an orgy in the woods with my friends? That we’d gotten so intoxicated, we lost a day somehow? That we kept experiencing aftereffects of whatever we’d been given?
Lex was right. I sounded outrageous, and I didn’t want anyone running to The Puck. I shouldn’t have come.
“Actually—” I sighed. “This was stupid. I better go.”
“Siobhan went on a trip,” Ashley explained. “She won’t be back for a while. Not until your class has gone home, I’m afraid.”
Of course. Just my fucking luck. Defeated, I huffed out a sigh and went to stand, but Ashley spoke again, stopping me.
“But if you show me the gift,” she said, “I can look at it. See if I recognize it.”
“I don’t have it with me.” I narrowed my eyes at her outstretched hand, pulling mine a little closer to my chest.
“Shame.” Ashley shrugged, seemingly nonchalant. “Well, Siobhan’s not here.”
“Right.” I stood to leave. “Thanks.”
“You know…” Ashley snapped out to grab my wrist, stopping me from rising, and leaned in close, focusing her entrancing eyes on me. “Outsiders generally aren’t welcome at the midsummer festival. That’s why I didn’t mention anything about it to your class. We’d appreciate it if you and your friends didn’t talk about what you saw there.”
The way she looked at me when she said it sent a cold shiver down my back. She didn’t make her threat lightly, and the set in her jaw meant she’d come for me if I didn’t obey. I didn’t know how she’d know, but her wide eyes suggested that she had her ways of finding out.
“Code of guest right and all,” she continued, softening. “It’s sacred. You understand.”
For one frightening second, everyone in the bar stopped to look at me, their eyes menacing and narrowed and a scowl on their lips. My heart pounded, and I thought they were about to attack me like some kind of zombie movie. Then, in the next blink, they were back to normal, carrying on conversations with the people next to them.
I jumped out of my seat, whipping my hand away from her.
“What the fuck?”
“Anyway,” Ashley said, once again bright and bubbly, like that horror show hadn’t just happened. “Hope you have a great performance. I got tickets for tomorrow night. Can’t wait!”
I looked around. Everything seemed so normal. The patrons were eating and drinking, carrying on as if I wasn’t there. I’d imagined that whole thing.
Welp, I’ve had just about enough of this, so…
I made my way through the crowd and out into the summer afternoon.
* * *
I probably should have hightailed it back to the college, but my curiosity plagued me. Maybe if I went and found the ruins again, the dreams would stop coming. Maybe if I just found the damn ring, this would all be over. I could research it or use it to contact Siobhan.
I found the trail that led down to the creek, and despite it being a muddy mess, the undergrowth was surprisingly clear. The rain had stopped yesterday, but everything was still wet, so I stayed close to the trees until I got to the shoreline. The water had swelled from all the rain, so if I had lost it somewhere between the ruins and the college, it was long since gone to the tide.
From there, I turned and walked as far as I could remember. I’d lost the flyer to the party, and there weren’t any mile markers on the path, so I wasn’t exactly sure where I was going, only that instinct pulled me in this direction. I had an hour or two to get back to Killwater before roll call, and if I stayed out too long, Carter would come looking for me.
It had to be around here somewhere—the remnants of the festival and the enormously large bonfires?
I walked along that path until I had to turn around or I’d risk being late, but I never found the ruins.
What did it mean?
Did we hallucinate? If we did, how was that possible?
Fucking get a grip, Ivy, I scolded myself. Was it enough for me to say I’d been irresponsible at a party and gotten so high I’d blacked out, and that was the end of it? Was it enough to say we’d managed to brand ourselves in a different language none of us knew? Could I believe that whatever we’d taken had stayed in our system for three days and we’d all had a reoccurrence of it at the exact same time?
Pissed and confused, I turned around a tree to pick up the trail again and ran smack into a hard, broad chest.
“What the fuck are you doing out here?” Hazel eyes met mine, his lips pursed around a cigarette.
“Me?” I said. “Are you stalking me?”
“Stalking you?” Lex narrowed his hazel stare. “You’re stalking me!”
“No way,” I said. “I was out here looking for—” I stopped myself, caught in my lie. I’d told him I was working on a plan for us to be free, not wandering aimlessly around in the same woods we’d gotten lost in a few days ago.
“They’re not out here,” he said, stuffing his hands in his trouser pockets.
I paused, neither confirming nor denying what I was looking for.
“The ruins,” he said. “They’re not out here.”
I swallowed and sighed, hoping he was wrong. I had to find them, I had to know what happened to us. “How do you know?”
“I’ve been looking for them for days.”
“Days?” My fury rose, and I shoved at his shoulders. “You told me not to worry about it, that we should move on with our lives.”
“Yeah, because I didn’t want you blabbing to some shrink about how we’re all having an extended acid trip together.” He turned around and headed on the trail back to the college. I matched his pace, seething with annoyance. We promised each other honesty. We promised each other freedom. Of course…I was keeping a secret from them, too.
“Lex, something really messed-up is happening.”
“Yeah, no shit.” He forged ahead, throwing the words over his shoulder.
“No, listen.” I grabbed his arm and stopped him, turning him to face me. “I told you about Siobhan and the ring, right?”
“You mean the townie that invited us to an orgy?”
“She kissed me,” I said. “She gave me a ring and I lost it.”
“What do you mean, you lost it?”
“I don’t know. I had it in my back pocket and then on the way home from the ruins, I didn’t have it anymore.”
He shrugged and turned to keep walking. “Well, that’s a bummer. It was pretty.”
“You don’t think—” I ran my hands through my hair and shook my head, hating that I was even saying it. But I had to get it out there. I had to tell someone. “You don’t think losing the ring had anything to do with this, right?”
Lex raised an eyebrow. “Are you asking me if I think drunk-kissing an Irish pub-owner and losing a piece of jewelry led to us having two nights of raging, drugged-up sex?” He snorted out a laugh. “No, X. I don’t.”
“Do you think the ring is cursed?” I bit my bottom lip and a stab hit me in the gut. What if he didn’t believe me? Lex and I had always had a rocky relationship, but he’d never lie to me. If he thought I was having a psychotic break, he’d be the first one to say something in his cruel, horribly accurate way.
He stopped and put his hands on his hips, turning to face me with his features scrunched in consideration. Finally, he shook his head and muttered, “I don’t believe in curses or fairies or God. We make our own fate.”
Well, that settled that, huh? I scrubbed my palms over my face as I realized my link to sanity had been slipping. It was this horrible place, like it was stuck in time or something. I needed to get back to reality.
Lex’s features softened, and in a rare act of solidarity, he wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me into a hug. I circled my arms around his waist and relaxed into him, a peace spreading through me at his familiar scent and constant presence. All alone out in these woods, I had almost convinced myself I was going mad and couldn’t trust myself. Being here with him reminded me that there were three other people who had experienced the same thing. Lex and I had been together since we were born, and as much as I hated it, I trusted him.
“We’ll be okay, X,” he said.
I nodded against him, hoping he was right. “We leave the day after tomorrow. Are you ready for this?”
He sighed, knowing as I did what that meant. When we got home, things were business as usual. Lex and I had to put on the great show. We had to face the big boss at the end of our story. We had to unpress pause, and perhaps that didn’t terrify me as much as it once had, not if I had Lex there to fight it with me.